drmiller100

An alpha who is self actualized will look like those who help others grow and learn. Dali Lama, Jesus Christ, Leon the site owner, many others. There are indeed female alphas. Look for those women who are leaders and helping others in the face of adversity. What is important to an alpha changes with moral development. Money and power for the younger, fame and notoriety, for the older, etc.

Being honest is indeed very hard. Few can do it, few like it. I was gifted by lack of fucks to give. I've been more honest than most for a long time and over the last 10 years I have made a conscious decision to try to be even more honest. Impeccable with my word......... Most people don't like it. Those who do I tend to like. There are lots of people in the world, and this is a great filter for me to find others who value honesty and authenticity.

A great example. The 28 year old was incredibly immature and stunted. After 4 years, you grew up and outgrew him. if he had been more abusive, you might be fucked up or dead.

I know guys who are in their 50's dating 18 year olds. They'd date younger if they could as it inflates their egos. I have a step daughter who when she was 16 wanted to date a 22 year old. I sat her down and had a discussion. I asked her if she wanted to go make out with Timmy next door (Timmy was 13 and had a huge crush on her). She was grossed out and and said so. Timmy was 13 and a child to her but only 3 years younger. To a healthy 22 year old, most 16 year old should be too immature to be really interesting long term. I understand Timmy wanted to mack with the hotty next door and I understand the 18 year old wanting the attention and gifts from the much older guy. Likewise grandpa 50 year old banging an 18 year old is probably not balanced in power. I'm 52 and have decent courtship skills. I could bang a lot of younger girls if I put a teeny bit of effort into it, but I don't think a 20 year old can truly consent. To consent, she'd have to have the ability to say "no" of her own free will. She may think she can say No, but the reality is to me she is a child. The definition of pedophile is someone who fucks children.

I invite you to learn a bit more about MBTI. My non scientific studies show we all have advantages and disadvantages. S types I think can be better at living in the moment which a goal some of us N types work on. Further, Just because S is your first or second function, the third function is often the one that really interests us through the middle of our adult lives when we switch to our fourth function as interesting. Finally, ENTJ is an excellent example of an N type who gets things done in the real world. They have the tools to rise to the top and make the world the way they want it. Te vs Ti can explain which people cause their will upon the world. Like most things, we all have our own path. Understanding how my path is different than others' seems of value to me as I can better put advice and ideas into context. Looking at other's shortcomings doesn't usually benefit me in my own growth.

Wow! What a great start! I really like your summary of Kegan. It took me a long time to understand his model, and you did a great job of summarizing it and maintaining most of the salient points which I thought were important. I'm not as good at Chakras, but I have never heard the different chakras being levels. I can understand it for me - when my heart opened I fundamentally changed. I do question whether your chart can be politically correct however. For instance, it might be possible that one entire system could be defined within one level of another system.

Personality internet forums are rife with introverted intuitive thinkers. The sensors are out in teh world and don't enjoy examining their navels that much, and the feelers already have their own world views to understand other people. MBTI is indeed a useful tool for me, as is Enneagram. I'm an ENTP 8w7.

learn to listen. learn the importance of the clitoris.

It sounds like old people in Russia have great power if they can diminish your existence by offering their love.

I wonder why all those old people give you advice? It probably isn't their indifference. It might mean they love you and care for you and want to help. If I were to offer you advice in a foreign language you didn't understand, what would that sound like?

Do you regret saying "I hate you"? Do you regret saying those words? If so, apologize. If not, don't. Be honest with you for you. When done, and things have settled, look back and ask yourself if you did teh best you could in the situation. Sometimes anger is totally appropriate as it helps us make change. But sometimes the way we channel that can use some fine tuning. Smiles...............

New Relationship Energy (NRE). It is a thing. And I think it helps some of us attach and open up and be vulnerable with a fabulous person. For me, it can be oh so much fun, and over time it does fade a bit. Sometimes the relationship fades with it but sometimes the commitment grows along the way and the relationship enters another phase and keeps going. For sure you can condemn the relationship by metering the attachment - it becomes self fulfilling that you don't work out. Or, you can live in the moment, and enjoy the journey and the fabulous person you are with.

Which color chart are you using? When I look on the 'net there are a variety of colors for various Maslow levels. Is it fair to say you are judging others? If so, where does that put you?

for me, pain is the world's way of telling me there is something wrong in my physical world. If I don't take care of the pain there will be bigger problems in the future. So, Pain is really a symptom, or a sign. Sometimes the pain is a warning. I have arthritis in my fingers and when I get cold my fingers ache. That is my reminder to take care of my fingers so they don't get worse. Sometimes I choose to accept the pain and continue on. Watching a dear friend's sickness brings me pain, but I can choose to accept the pain, and work within it. We all have our core fears. Perhaps your core fear involves pain? One of my core fears involves vulnerabiity and being controlled and manipulated.

Most addicts quit developing emotionally at the time they start using. For instance, a 40 year old alcoholic who started hard at the age of 18 will often act like an 18 year old with the juvenile impulses and values. Once they quit using and get clean it usually takes a few years before they start growing again. Addicts tend to be pretty narcissistic and part of my growth was to realize other people exist independent of myself and get to make their own choices. Addicts tend to be more concerned about their own selfish little worlds.