Byun Sean

guys have different preferences so she could be very attractive to someone else. On top of that physical health matters more than personality for attracting a guy simply because of reproductive value. Dating is survival. it's a negotiation of value between people that is very conditional. Thats the way it is and always has been. Your just going to have to accept the fact that no matter how good your personality may get or looks may get, there are some women who you will just never be able to date simply because your not their type or whatever and vice versa. And it's better for you that way. If all guys had the exact same taste in women the species would be extinct in no time because all the men would be after the "top" attractive females all the time. But it's not like that because attraction is way more deep and complex than that. No one has to give you access to their genitals if they meet a certain criteria in your head and neither do you have to. This is a made up set of rules spun by your ego.

Not all perspectives are equal. Its great to be openminded but also you need not waste time on perspectives that are clearly dogmatic and foolish.

yeah this happened to me lol. enlightenment by 19 but couldn't operate well in simple social situations lmfao In the end I had to round myself out by working at a job and interacting with a lot of people. It's easy to forget that spirituality is liberation of the mind but also of the heart.

attraction is subjective to some extent, but there are also general patterns. If attraction was too subjective personal development around becoming a more attractive man/ woman wouldn't exist. Also what a man or woman says about what they are attracted to usually never 100 percent lines up with their actual attraction to someone or something since attraction is subconscious, very attached to our survival, and a sensitive topic for egos to be discussing.

selfishness is not inherently bad. And selflessness is not inherently good. Labeling them as such would be your self-bias. A key feature of your survival

This phrase is already enough to tell your not awake. @Gesundheit

thats why you ground yourself in spirituality within yourself. If you try to ground yourself in people alone you will always disappointed. But if you ground yourself in spirit enough someone can even but a bullet in your head and you will still be happy and fulfilled. It's not that theres anything wrong with people. It's just that no one can live up to the unrealistic expectations you set on them.

screw society man. You date who you wawnt.

im curious. Is what you are referring to as "Game B" simply dating that defys the social norm? And you speak of certain strategies. What are some examples of some of these strategies and what is the end goal of these strategies?

it takes a long time but meanwhile, don't wait for meditation to become enjoyable. Just devote yourself to the work. The spiritual gains are worth it and you know this if you've been meditating for a little while. Meditate with precision and give up enjoying or being happy during it. If you only meditate when its nice how are you ever going to get anywhere.

its not confidence i feel like. A man who is confident and clearly stupid and obnoxious would turn you off wouldn't he? Some of these guys could even come off as very creepy and even dangerous. I'd say it's more about the man's overall inner strength that turns women on. If the woman perceives a man as strong from the inside she will feel drawn to him naturally. I feel like that is the main determining factor that the girl is gauging.

it sounds like the guy is just not right for her. If hes a player and not willing to commit to her she should put up a boundary, say no, and move on. The fairy tale stuff is pretty universal for girls and has nothing to do with being vulnerable to manipulation or abuse imo.

The purpose of life is for the unique experience of your soul's journey. Since you are God. Your human life is a unique exploration of one of your infinite possibilities. Thus, it's not always the "right" decision or "wrong" decision to always be moving forward spiritually or for any decision for that matter. It all depends on what you want to experience and at what time. All aspects of God will merge back into itself in time anyways which is the theme of all life. Meanwhile you can take your time and decide at what pace you will remember your true Self.

The message behind this is that none of your methods for making yourself fulfilled will work out other than attaining true existential love within yourself which takes true spiritual work. It's not that life is a race. It's a paradox. You can be happy now because life is all for the experience and it's all temporary anyways but at the same time you. can grow and improve using correct strategies.

Big BIG red flag. 36 year old guy will just exploit her lack of experience for sex and emotional manipulation. It's not an even relationship in terms of power and experience even if the guy has good intentions for her. your intuition is right. If this was you I would say GTFO of that situation asap. Usually age difference doesn't matter that much other than social reasons but 19 is basically like a child. They have so little experience and so much room to get hurt and used. Now even if you tell your friend this they may not agree with you and still want to do their own thing anyways. I do not know them both personally so here you have to make your own judgement but just the difference in experience and power in the relationship really bothers me here.

mods where you at

there are hundreds of thousands of spiritual practices. When you say "meditation" in the west it doesn't really mean anything. All practices work differently and work differently for different people. You gotta find what practices work for you in the end. If you can why not do both?

what helped me most: 1. Meditate or do spiritual practice precisely and with good focus (but don't try too hard or stress your mind out.) 2. Shorter quality sessions are much more valuable than longer sloppy sessions. (3 split up sessions of focused 20 minute sessions will likely give you better results than a single hour of practice where you lose focus halfway through. Its all about gauging how much you can handle in one sitting.) Try to put in as much time and energy as you can but don't bite off more than you can chew. 3. Meditation retreats are awesome. Go on at least 1 retreat a year. Ideally much more if you are serious about enlightenment. They put you in an environment where everyone is eating, sleeping, and breathing meditation and spiritual work in silence. Consciousness work can develop a sort of momentum on retreats where your spiritual growth becomes more exponential. Ex. On a 10 day vipassana retreat where you are doing mindfulnes/ meditation work 24/7 you will likely make more progress than doing just doing 20 minutes everyday for 6 months. 4. Try out different techniques. Spirituality is complex af and thus no matter what any teacher or guru may tell you, your path is unique and you gotta find out what works for you. You have a unique set of childhood wounds, personality, and thus road to enlightenment (back home). So read a lot of spiritual books and try a lot of different spiritual techniques until you find a few solid ones that work really well for you and give you great results. I personally got great use of self inquiry techniques, standard vipassana meditation techniques, and kriya yoga. 5. Expect ego backlashes, feelings of despair, depression, panic, etc, as temporary signs of your growth on this path. On this path it's not all butterflies and rainbows when you are ascending to the next level of consciousness. There is a dark side to this path and you gotta be careful which is why lots of research and professional guidance is important. You can really easily mess yourself up if you do a spiritual practice incorrectly for a long time. Also a lot of times you might have days where you just feel like garbage and want to forget the whole path entirely. This is just your mind readjusting to the next level of awareness. Its purging all of your old baggage. And then after that day passes you feel fine again and your ready to move forward again. 6. This is a long and messy journey. Most people spend decades of their lives pursuing consciousness and never reach enlightenment unless they are spiritually gifted. I got lucky and was able to do it in 2.5 years. But you don't really know how deep the rabbit hole goes until you dig it up all the way. Brace yourself, this is the hero's journey and the only road to the good life! Best of luck GG GLHF

no. Your values and perspective change as you grow up but it is entirely separate from waking up. You could be a stage blue racist and have grasped your true nature through direct consciousness pronouncing you "enlightened".

Yes. Valentines day of 2020 I died lol. Funny I was watching Leo's free will vs determinism video when it happened. What happened to me is when I started meditating It was something as small as wanting better focus for playing a video game I wanted to improve at. It started at short 20 minute sessions. Then as I started to notice more benefits in my direct experience I read up on it more. Increased my duration from 20 minutes to 30 minutes. 45 minutes. An hour. Went on my first meditation retreat. At this point the path was already fulfilling enough for me to realize that this its the main stuff I should be pursuing in life and the only thing that will truly fulfill me. At this point the path just took off like a rocket and I never needed to motivate myself. Meditation wasn't necessarily fun or easy still but I always spent hours on spiritual practice because I knew it was worth it.

@SamC Also you shouldn't be focusing on how much work you will be doing. You should be focusing on what you want and how bad you want it. Like when I was putting in 4+ hours of spiritual practice every day toward my awakening process, I sometimes set a schedule but a lot times I didn't. It was a burning motivation and fire inside of me for consciousness that fueled me to keep moving forward every chance I got. If you realize something is truly valuable to you you will naturally do whatever it takes.

in the end you either make a plan or you don't. If you don't make a plan then you will naturally go with whatever you feel in any given moment. Both approaches give you different results. You choose. If you aren't happy with the results you are getting by being comfortable and going with the flow you can make a choice to make yourself a bit uncomfortable and commit to a plan. For some goals in life if you want them bad enough you will allow some discomfort if necessary because you realize it's worth it.

make a plan ahead of time around what goal you want and how fast you want it. If you make a plan ahead of time you know what to expect depending upon if you put in the correct amount of hours at the correct times or not. This can vary depending upon the goal. But if you make a plan ahead of time like the night before you plan the entire next day for example, it's simple. Either you followed through on your plan or you didn't.

The thing is people think conflict in relationships is a bad thing. It's actually the opposite. Obviously you don't want to seek out conflict and hurt the other person but we are all selfish to an extent and have egos so we clash. Conflict and change can be an opportunity for both people to grow together. The purpose of a relationship is self actualization. Not using another person to make yourself a never ending happy experience. People forget this.

Obviously not everyone is awake to the True Self if you just take one look at what is happening on the planet lmao. Those unconscious people that you see is God pretending it is asleep and dreaming of what it's like to be asleep so it can experience duality from a higher spiritual point of view you might say. When you wake up your perspective changes but you still operate within the relative just like everyone else as your human self. The key is is that nothing changes other than your perspective. Everyone and everything was always you you just didn't realize it because you were busy dreaming up separation. Spirituality doesn't mean reality around you changes. It means you are finally starting to see life the way it is and the way it's always been. Forget what it means to be enlightened. Too many fantasies on this forum of what enlightenment is with no direct experience. If you haven't experienced what your nature is for yourself I can tell you your in for the biggest mindfuck of your life. Right now it's just a belief. Forget about enlightenment as an ultimate goal and just pursue more consciousness wherever that leads you.