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Everything posted by blankisomeone

  1. I hate my parents They’re constantly fighting with each other, they don’t respect each other. I’m done with stress I hate that my dad smokes and doesn’t respect me idk why I’m holding on to them… If they suffer my death so be it. I hope I get eternal peace. I rly rly rly rly need it, that’s what I’m doing this FOR, I hope I don’t get something other than peace, man. That would really SUCKKK my dads car is just waiting outside for me to hop in it and drive to Rio-Niterói bridge I don’t know why I don’t just do it. I mean people do this all the time right? I really appreciate you guys replies to my post, thank you so much I cried rivers, but unfortunately your words are just comfort words for me that help tide me over another day, I’m not getting some permanent healing from them, it’s just nice to read and it brings me relief but it’s nothing that lasts and I need something that lasts. What am I supposed to do? Just come to this forum every day begging for nice words so I feel better for getting some loving attention? I feel like I’m spiraling out of reality with my thoughts and everyone is becoming distant. I need to feel connected
  2. Yes the power of now was the first spiritual thing I read in my life back in 2019
  3. My parents are in a difficult financial situation and they’re now working really hard and it pains me so much to see them working while I lie depressed in my room Ive disconnected from all friends I don’t like my personality among many other reasons... tsk.. idk what I’ll do and spirituality is making me have second thoughts about killing myself because now I’m open to the idea of an after death state, and that it won’t be the end, it’ll likely just be a transition maybe to something worse (which adds a loooooot of existential dread on top of everything. Ugh, this weighs on my heart more than anything) I don’t know. But anyways, after death doesn’t matter. What matters is that I’m sick right now. I’m crying so much it feels like my lungs are eating yhemselves up. And when I think of my parents it makes me wanna throw up because of how ungrateful I am and when I think of the future i feel like I can’t handle iT And my sins of procrastination, isolation, arrogance, etc.. I don’t like myself going to bed now. I hope I don’t wake up tomorrow morning, I really do (fucking cheesy thing to say)
  4. Do I have to BS myself into a purpose? Or is there an inherent purpose?
  5. Can you invade others privacy even without their permission and openness to the experience?
  6. Dude I’ve thought many times of moving to Europe but everyone’s so depressed it scares me
  7. Or is it gonna make it worse? Or do I just bite the bullet and accept that it's a shot in the dark?
  8. The no BS guide to actual prayer
  9. To work through the trauma more consciously now that I’m older and wiser lol
  10. My parents have said it was stressful times. But I was wondering if I could re-experience it. I definitely experienced it because I was there, but don’t have the memories anymore
  11. No, but I'm reading a book which has been written specifically for the problem I'm dealing with and I'm doing the assignments, so I guess I'm kinda doing therapy by myself? I don't know if that'll work, but I'm giving it a shot... But sometimes it feels very overwhelming and I feel too alone in this and I start to seriously consider suicide, but I'm also scared of that too, because who knows what that will lead to... Which makes the problem even worse. Maybe I'll try a low low low low dose, see what happens...
  12. Since patience is a virtue, you need patience to develop patience
  13. What do u guys think of this machine and what do you think of the guy's statement: '"It's not just some privilege for the very sick. It's a fundamental human right. If you've got the precious gift of life, you should be able to give that gift away at the time of your choosing."
  14. Because we sin all the time and pretend like it’s okay?
  15. There will probably be some natural consequences. Like you might regret it so bad that you will have to do a lot of work to forgive yourself. But hey idk. (Btw this wouldn’t be some god punishing you, but just you kinda punishing yourself cuz omg u just killed a work of art prematurely!! Aaaaahhh) Ps: I’m kinda pulling this outta mah ass. But also some intuition is guiding my thinking here