blankisomeone

He was supposedly writing a lot about love because he was in love with a girl. Maybe he thought that's what love boils down to: loving another girl. But the girl didn't love him back. He felt genuine love for the girl. Some people even say the girl he was in love with was imaginary, though. But, still, it's very weird how he writes about self-love, God, consciousness, self-awareness, infinity. He even says he is God

Romans 9:20 Who do you think you are to talk back to God like that? Can an object that was made say to its maker, “Why did you make me like this?” Luke 14:15-20 Hearing this, a man sitting at the table with Jesus exclaimed, “What a blessing it will be to attend a banquet in the Kingdom of God!” Jesus replied with this story: “A man prepared a great feast and sent out many invitations. When the banquet was ready, he sent his servant to tell the guests, ‘Come, the banquet is ready. But they all began making excuses. One said, ‘I have just bought a field and must inspect it. Please excuse me. Another said, ‘I have just bought five pairs of oxen, and I want to try them out. Please excuse me. Another said, ‘I now have a wife, so I can’t come.’ 3. Matthew 7:3-5 Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.

I thought to myself "I didn't even choose to be born!" Then, I decided to question that by going through Byron Katie's 4 questions: Is it true? Can you absolutely know that it's true? (Yes or no.) How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought? Who or what would you be without the thought? But when I got to the second question, I started going on a big rant. Enjoy. ------------------------------- I didn’t choose to be born. Is it true? Yes. Can you absolutely know that it’s true? Yes, absolutely. I don’t ever remember choosing to be born. It was just chance! I was for some reason the fastest sperm. Do you remember being a sperm? No. So why do you think it makes sense to say that you were for sure the fastest sperm but it doesn’t make sense to have chosen to be born? You don’t remember being a sperm, and yet you say you were the fastest sperm. Why couldn’t it be the case that you chose to be born but you don’t remember it? Because science shows sperms going fast with microscopes. Science doesn’t show anyone choosing to be born. Why do you assume the sperm thing happened to you if you don’t remember it? Please, go back to the beginning. Can you absolutely know that it’s true that you did not choose to be born? Don’t dodge the question. The world is too confusing. I can’t see why one would choose to come to it. It doesn’t seem fair that people must go through the struggles of life. Life can get pretty damn horrible for some people. For God’s sake, answer the question. Just because you don’t remember something does that make it untrue? Yes or No? No. But that doesn’t help me! What do you need help with, exactly? I want to remember why I’m here. Feeling confused sucks. Oh please, I noticed it for a second there. I noticed that you’re enjoying this. Isn’t it fun to rediscover yourself? I want other people to come along on the journey. The state the world is in makes me depressed. Not to mention fucking Covid ruining everything. First of all, just wear a mask. Second of all, why don’t you do something about the state of the world if it bothers you so much? I don’t know what to do. Yes, you do. It feels intuitively that I know what to do. But what if I’m kidding myself? Also, there’s too many obstacles! There’s a lot I need to take care of first. I need help. Like, really, really. You have help all around you at all times. Sometimes I think about the suffering of others too much. Then I just start to blame life for having allowed such suffering. It seems so unfair that it makes me disgusted! I hate seeing my dad working and doing everything to help me and my family! He doesn’t have to do that! It saddens me deeply! The things people go through! For nothing! I want everyone to just relax! Your dad likes helping his family. I know it. Just show gratitude and pull your own weight, too. And also, please don’t make it sound like it's the end of the world. Those other people also have help all around them. I haven’t left them. I’m very, very close to them. But still. The world is too chaotic. Things can go wrong at any time! Life is too anxiety-inducing. Also, why are we so dumb and vulnerable? Are you saying that it doesn’t matter whether I help those people or not, since you—whatever You are – are with them anyways. You’re venting too much. You can vent. But there’s a difference between just wanting to vent to get frustration out of your chest and actually calming down to listen to the truth. First, calm down. Now tell me, why do you wanna help “those people”—whoever those people are? Because life is unfair to them. Life is unfair to them? There’s you wanting to help them! You are part of life, too, you know? So how is life being unfair to them? You are offering to help them. But there’s absolutely no way I can help them. I’m too weak, cynic, confused, small… Please, enough with the self-pity. You’re irritating me, honestly… You gave me these limitations, though. Why can't you just give me enough power right now then I can help those people! Like, I snap my fingers and the world is free of suffering! You’re asking for too much, aren’t you? Why can’t you just make it simple? We’ve already been through this! Please admit you’re enjoying this. All this suffering seems ridiculously unnecessary though! Some people are suffering for real and not enjoying it one bit, and you just seem like you’re playing with them. Who are you blaming? Life. Ok, I ask you to go back to the beginning. You’re losing yourself again. Tell me, what if you chose this? I wanna share this on the actualized.org forum. Maybe like this I can start… helping? I don’t know… Contribute somehow? You dodge questions too much. It's laughable... But, sure, you can share it if you want. There’s nothing deep about what I’m writing, though. This is just stupid! Just words on top of words on top words, nothing profound about this shit at all! I need to learn how to write. I suck. I read books on top of books but my writing sucks. You’re not even trying. You’re just spitting these words out. Maybe if you relaxed and practiced you could write something much better. You need to organize your thoughts. Relax. When you were a kid you loved writing, remember? You used to get the highest grades. What made you give up? Revisit that. Also, stop putting yourself down. Remember when you were playing videogame with your friend and he told you to stop putting yourself down? He fucking meant that. Remember how you noticed it in how he said it? Remember how he was such a good friend to you? So many people wish they could have a friend like that. This is ridiculous. This is just me pretending to talk to myself. Am I losing it? Am I just pretending? Am I asking too many questions? Ugh, the world is too noisy! Inner and outer. I just want silence. You can always rest in silence. Even in the noisiest of places. Even in a war zone. I didn’t choose to be here! Is that true? Yes, absolutely! Oh, man. We've been through this bit! I sense another downward spiral coming... Please, go out for a run. Relax. Take a deep breath. Print these sheets out. Quiet your mind. Reread this later. You’re not focused anymore

Me/Us blaming God trying to convince ourselves that we have nothing to do with anything :'D

Yeah, Eric's journal has a very different tone. The oppposite. Much more masculine, articulate and aggressive, while Dylan was more feminine and his writings were purely emotional with no structure. They should've gotten married instead of killing people, if Eric wasn't such a homophobe lol I was just so surprised when I read how much Dylan was writing about love.

Leo will probably ban you.

God doesn’t forbid anything.

The “do nothing” technique is making me lose the ability to concentrate.. I’ve been doing it for a month. I think I’ll stop it. I’ll give it two more months, I’ll try to perfect my practice. If I don’t see that it’s being helpful for me, I’ll drop it. I’d recommend you do those techniques of focusing on your breath, or the one of being aware of your surroundings if you’re just starting. I’ve felt these were way better for me! But to each his own favorite technique Do it, but take breaks as needed. Experiment with different techniques

Y’all gon take the covid vaccine once they’re rolled out? I’m sort of the leftist version of “anti-vaxer” in that I’m worried about weird chemicals entering my body. I’m NOT worried that Bill Gates is evil and wants to take over the planet and install a new world order of the devil. It’s really just for health issues. I mean, isn’t fighting viruses supposed to be tackling the root issues like bad eating habits, leading a sedentary lifestyle, shallow breathing, the stressful lives we lead in modern times, wrong thought patterns etc etc. Isn’t tackling those root issues better than being injected with chemicals? Or is all I’m saying just stage green, hippie nonsense and vaccines are actually extremely important and necessary? What do you think?

That’s why we do our best to drive carefully, consciously and with seat belts on

I also “see” that light. I don’t actually see it like I see objects with my eyes, but I sense it getting bigger and bigger inside my “head” (not just the head, but also my whole body), and as it grows it clears my being more and more. But of course I get excited, my heart starts beating faster, then my mind starts questioning the validity of what I’m experiencing. I haven’t reached that state in a long time, though, because I’m currently going through a rough patch in my life, full of worry, stress and sadness which are overwhelming my mind. I hope to find that place again soon.

So stop complaining and go selflessly help people and make this world a “better place” if you can

It’s not.

You’ve never had fun? if you have then you know what it is

Haven’t we all

lol ofc not People help each other too sometimes (most of the times actually)

He was probably being sarcastic

Can you confidently say without a shadow of a doubt that you know what reality is and how it works with absolute certainty and without the slightest background feeling of uneasiness or fear of being wrong?

Got any recommendation?

What's your favorite kind of music? What artists to you like to listen to?

Giving a speech having nothing to say:

mine was "OHHH THERE'S NO ONE HERE"

Idk it's authentically unconscious lol

????????????

I wept.