Bennn

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Everything posted by Bennn

  1. Formless does not equal nothingness. Nothingness by it's very nature does not exist. As far as I can see it cannot equal awareness
  2. Slowly lifting a veil. There is nothing outside of everything. "Nothing" exists - but "I" can only point to it in the moment that I come back to "something." Outside of that there is no "I" to point to or "experience" "nothing." Ultimately the world can be divided onto "nothing" and "something." I'm not sure how to decipher what happens after death - but it is very interesting that sleep gives "me" a window into "nothing."
  3. Been a wild day. So many things swirling in my brain. Hope everyone had a great Sunday. I was thinking about consciousness and love and how it could conceivably make up all that is. Then I thought of sleep. From everything that I've observed - when I am out like a brick, I am not conscious or aware at all (duh right?) How does this fit into a paradigm where consciousness is all?
  4. The only "problem" would be the one that I make for myself now under that belief. So there really wouldn't be one. Not saying that there is one. Just a question.
  5. Still struggling. What's to say that what occurs after death isn't similar to that sleep state (where there is a total "nothingess" and lack of "I AMNESS"
  6. I can see that everything includes nothing - that makes sense to me. I can't see how nothing includes everything - that does not make sense to me (yet). If you have any other insights I'll listen - otherwise I'll meditate on it.
  7. The "nothingness" is without description. It is the absence of me as the observer. Consciousness (from the "I AM" that is with me now) leaves. The only reason that point to it is because of the gap that I notice in time when consciousness returns to me. I think there are two ways of thinking about this. "Consciousness" either exists inside "Nothingness" or "Nothingness" exists inside "Consciousness."
  8. How is consciousness ever-present if I can cite moments where I am unconscious (Sleep)? If the "I AM's" purest form is void than is their an experience or an observer in that void? How is there no "on/off" switch for consciousness. When I go to sleep "I AM" is no longer there - only complete nothingness. The only reason that I can describe the experience is because I come back to consciousness. Thanks - appreciate your answers - this has been eating my brain :-)
  9. No - I'm saying that sleep is the absence of experience. I only know of this experience in consciousness.
  10. That's just the thing though. Consciousness is not in sleep (not that "I AM" aware of.) So it can be escaped. Am I missing something here?
  11. Still nothing that satisfying - what I'm seeing is that the "I AM" is not all and that a pure "nothingness" exists, one that foresee-ably occurs after death.
  12. I grew up with a pretty strong moral back bone (Judeo-Christian background). I carry that with me despite shedding a lot of the dogma that I grew up with. I've had the same realization for quite some time now (I am God experiencing Bennn), but it has left me with some questions for the last 5 years. If ultimately I AM a conduit for GOD's experience, is there ultimately any reason for me to fear doing the "wrong" thing. Again, I grew up with strong morals - so I'm not about to start being evil, but there are a number of goals that I have which would be furthered through dishonesty and/or selfishness. I've gone through the same questions again and again and I'm left with the same answer (not really a word but just a perpetual "is-ness") Is there some clear cut moral guideline which naturally serves "I AM" in evolution or should I just follow my will in better accomplishing the goals of this human that I AM experiencing?
  13. And you're saying that the absolute is "good." How is good not subjective? Why not just say that all things work towards the ABSOLUTE as opposed to the ABSOLUTE GOOD?
  14. Bill W - I'm in AA. This question is a direct consequence of me observing multiple people and being asked to find God's will (or at least ask for it). You're in a unique position to offer some insight if you're also in the fellowship. Expand on anything you like. Leo This is where I disconnect. It sounds nice but WHY is all of my evil part of the absolute good? Where is there any evidence of this being the natural conclusion.
  15. Leo - that response was fantastic. The analogy of there still being a devil really hammers home something that I've been struggling to put into words. Thank you. Is it really this black and white? What about gray areas where a small lie furthers the interests of multiple people and doesn't cross any major lines? A wife asking if she looks good in a dress or a person telling a small fib>
  16. If consciousness is all there is and nothingness cannot exist - what is sleep while I'm in that state?
  17. But nothingness implies no observer, no form, no "right now." Consciousness is in fact a thing
  18. Only in the way that I can reflect on the experience of blindness as the lack of sight. I can only conceptualize it through it's absence (That being the absence of consciousness.)
  19. I'm just edging on this idea. I've always wanted a large family - this seems like a natural way to go about doing it. Of course legally I could only marry one (I'm sure this would cause friction.) There is no question that this would ruffle feathers and I don't even know where I would go about finding someone who is ok with this.
  20. This was a really interesting answer! How is nothingness the essence of consciousness.
  21. Found this from earlier - I saved it before and I figure I'll post it. Not sure where my boat is steering towards. I got out of an extremely deep and meaningful relationship in pursuit of a family about a year ago. The closest thing that I have to meaning is to survive and reproduce. I was going to follow this and either have a massive family or be a sperm donor. My last girlfriend already had kids and, no matter what, I always had a resentment that another man’s kids where in her/our life. They were older and close to leaving the nest – but it was difficult. In order to make things work with her I looked into being a sperm donor. I wanted to potentially have SOME sort of relationship with the children. Christmases without a family of my own later in life would not be easy. Most people open to this are lesbian couples who do are not going through a doctor. Eventually I found that the laws around this made things super complicated. Essentially I could possibly be sued for child support if the donation was not done through a clinic and virtually no one who is open to having the biological father be known in some capacity is open to this. I make what is (to me) a lot of money and I was afraid (still am). It’s a year later. I do not have any children and I broke up with the girl who meant so much to me. I have zero idea what I’m doing. On top of that, I just hurt my back, so I cannot workout like I usually do to have that feeling of “progressing.” I know very little of why I should even have a purpose. Despite this I know: 1.) I should not do drugs or drink alcohol. I have an addictive personality and regardless of what I want my purpose to be, this will hinder it (unless my purpose is independent of my own self destruction.) 2.) I want to have a legacy that outlasts my material body. For some reason or another – children have been the focal point for this. 3.) I broke up with a girl that I love very much and have a deep fear that I cannot function (sexually, romantically, spiritually) with others. Ultimately, I know that I had to have the break up. I was so resentful to the Universe (and her, if I’m being honest) for giving her children from another man. And following that her ex-husband had another child, and her son had a child. Something that he probably didn’t think twice about was the meaning of my entire life. It really filled me with discontent. So now what do I do? I literally listened for 20 minutes in silence. The closest thing I could get to an answer was “stay/be in the sunlight.” I think I was just cold and that was my subconscious. But I know there’s something here. I have the opportunity to work with the difficulties in life that I’m facing right now and to overcome them. I’m grateful for the opportunity but I have no idea where to go next. I’m making good money, attempting to get in great shape (though this back injury sucks) attending my AA meetings and trying to help others – but somehow I just have this lacking. I miss being in a loving relationship – and I do not see a way to have children as of now that I am fully comfortable with.
  22. Behold Motherfuckers, When I've been at my best, my very, very best, I have kept a journal in some capacity. So here it is. I'm going to be myself here. I'm going to let loose. I'm going to be raw. I broke up with a girl that I'll probably always love in pursuit of a family roughly a year ago, changed my home about 10 months ago, and hurt my back about a week ago. All of that culminates into this motherfucking moment (and any moment to be fair).... this journal. I'll try to be as honest as possible without ruminating. This break up was crushing. I DON'T KNOW if I made the "right" decision. And I have to be ok with that. I have to accept that what happens is the closest thing that the universe has to what is "meant to be." I still wake up at night feeling crushed. I do not want to fuck around and pitter patter. I want clear goals. So here they are: 1.) I want a legacy that exists outside of my momentary existence. I want to share my life with a girl (or girls, I'm not opposed to having multiple partners, though my family would freak.) I have a beautiful loving woman (women) to eventually raise a large (at least 4 children) family with. I have always gone about getting a quality girlfriend the same way. Go out - meet girls - give them/me the opportunity to see if we have chemistry - and pick my favorite by falling for one." 2.) I want a sustainable, sexy body that is healthy. I workout wisely, and eat healthy - so as to keep use of my body but also have indicators of health and am just maintaining the sexy physic that I have (I want a six pack, I want to keep my large arms and chest, strong-ass lower back so that I do not have to be in this position again.) 3.) I'm calm and centered. I don't struggle for answers, I calmly wait for them. I meditate every day. 4.) I manage my clients in a kind, honest, organized way. I keep a planner, to do list, and calendar for things that I need to do. 5.) I want to experience this dimension. I want to travel! I have saved up a lot of money (to me anyway)! It's time to go out and experience this world!
  23. Hmmm. It depends what your vantage point is. Who's to say that this reality isn't God experiencing itself as the Christian God - Fractionating its consciousness and ultimately sending non-believers to hell for that experience.
  24. Who's to say that there isn't a reality where the Christian philosophy isn't true. Who's to say that God (the I AM) doesn't have a reality where consciousness is separated from other things and there is sin and there is a judgement. Who's to say that isn't this reality?