Loving Radiance

@BlackMaze Be sure to add achievements to the board that take multiple lifetimes. Those are solar explosions of inspiration.

That's why we are still here Bro, you are not alone in this. We all have something we resist to not die. Be very gentle with yourself.

Imagine "You imposing your will on her" (= "me trying to help them with life") being exagerated: Imagine a red warlord imposing his will on you and making you his slave because he thinks it is the best for you and him. The dynamics are the same - can you see you do this with your mother (to a lesser degree)? Yes, I know you feel an obligation as she is your mother. However if she is not wanting your help, you just can love her as she is. Beyond judgement of "emotional immaturity" (even if thats true) she is just there, being perfect. but she isn't, she's purposeless and killing herself with all the food that she eats as a replacement for her emotional immaturity... god this isn't easy lol Thats why I wrote "being level".

@Username Awkwardness is only ever projected by you. You project your awkwardness. You think others feel awkward, but that is also a projection. If you feel not aligned in the situation, maybe feel into your body. Continuously try connecting to your heart - it gets easier.

I can disprove that. I am a self-identified ENFP.

Beautiful ?

@levani Indeed Regarding your op, I'd suggest that you ask her if she wants to hear your perpective on the matter. If she's open to that, great, if not, that's also ok. She is on her own journey and you can sail your own voyage unless she wants you to sail with her on that matter. I know you want the best for your mother. If you cannot help her, you can return to loving her as beautiful & perfect (being level) as she is right now.

Thank you for clearing that up. Do you think that everyone here on the forum can understand you when you use these symbols of mathematical logic in your comments?

@levani I remember reading a post from you with this thing (∵) but being turned upside down. What is it?

Do you know obsidian (note taking system)? This is gold

Considering attached judgement from cultural programming, how do you feel about that? How would you feel if you let go of the programming?

@Conscious life Do you have a bad internet connection or what is the reason?

@Conscious life The thing with the blog videos is that they cannot be downloaded. I had a skim over the code and even there is nothing to find.

@Anton Rogachevski That's why I will do notes on this one and upload it on the summaries thread.

@Leo Gura Looking back on your blog videos, why didn't you upload a Requisite Variety & Creative Laziness video to YT? Why didn't the topic qualify to be on YT?

@BlackMaze In my last shamanic retreat the facilitator showed me a way to express my repressed anger. Get a non-slip mat and a thick cushion (like a meditation cushion). Knee on the mat and have the cushion in front of you. Bring your hands together and make one fist by interlacing the fingers. Punch the cushion as fast as possible while putting force behind it. Bring your hands at least at head level if not higher when you go back up. Balance the force and speed behind your punches - there can be hurt while punching, but after the release your arms shouldn't hurt for more than a minute.

@Snader Good one!

@Saupahar Contextwise: Are you saying that your mother did not want to go to work?

"Direct" experience of death: Thought being believed vs. existential beauty recognized My grandma died the last summer. I think a week before that she was already brought to the palliative care unit of the hospital. During her last few days, she was on painkillers and unconscious. We were with her for almost an hour, watching her take one arduous breath after another until the end. The window was opened. The birds sang outside and the sun was shining. The clouds were white and fluffy. What a beautiful day. Coming back into the room the thought was evident. My grandma was dying. We all are grieving. What a beautiful day it is outside - birds singing, sun shining, people enjoying life. There is the insight: A death makes no difference and the earth doesn't stop rotating per se, but the earth stops, if you want to make it to be a difference, if you want to make it to be significant to you. Attaching to the idea "My granny is dead" the people seem ignorant to just live and go on with their life. Letting go of the idea & recognizing reality, this is just as beautiful as always. Outstandingly beautiful while there is nothing to stand out from. After that I went eating lunch with my dad. It was interesting to observe attaching to the idea (her death and me being her grandson) caused suffering. Detaching from the idea, accepting that this is life and tuning into this moment filled me with joy. The difference could not be more visible. I am not sure how much my detachment from her months before her death played into my brief grieving process. Before Lockdown, we would go to her favorite cafe for lunch almost every weekend. 2 years before that I made the decision to go out with her and to give her my presence because I felt her time was coming to an end. I enjoyed the time with her.

@abrakamowse There is a limit of 4.88mb for an individual file (independent of one's free space).

Now I can understand how intelligence, being, goodness and God knows what else is not coming from me. Thanks for clearing that up.

Does it follow then that there is no racism?

@aurum @TheAlchemist

Hey, I'm not gonna address that enlightenment stuff. Just a suggestion from me if you want: What I found feeling & being good on my journey of OCD & being socially retarded is to join these hippy SD Green workshops. Maybe you already discovered them. I just feel good to rest and let go of anything that I think about myself during these workshops & retreats as they challenge me to extend myself. There is a loving atmosphere, and trauma is often getting met from a shamanic perspective. The people understand & accept you. I found this group community feeling to be very healing to me. Maybe this is also something that rings true to you. Wishing you well ?

@Carl-Richard Indeed weird flex ? ?