bazera

Lol. I read reports where Jesus was seen during trips, confirming the validity of christianity. But Jesus is seen during sober mystical experiences too as I've heard. That's why stage blue mysticism is a thing, when a christian mind interprets the absolute it might get a vision of Jesus or something.

That's tough, kudos for doing that. Did you hide it for a long time?

@CARDOZZO Sometimes all those green new age girls are so brain washed I'd just rather date a normal girl who isn't into anything woo-woo. But the fantasy that my girl should be into spiritual stuff is there for me as well. But I think that's just it, a fantasy. But on the other hand if a girl is very ideological, doesn't care about growing up in some way and doesn't appreciate your efforts to do so, what's even point of that kind of a relationship. Also, being single isn't that bad either Especially after you get some relationships and see what's all the fuss is about.

Cut the carbs to 50-100g a day and you'll get that. But if you also want to build up the energy to have it to exercise, I woudn't recommend it. You see, going for "quick" ways when dealing with weight loss will always backfire in one way or another. Prefer more long term approach. Continue building up to 30m/day exercise and eat 300 to 500 calories in deficit.

Yes sure, research into that field can be meaningful. I was just interested to know how would this trip would affect his life purpose. I was thinking maybe it would show him the illusory nature of the self and that he woudn't be attached to prolonging it so hard. But it seems that contrary has happened, he seems to be doubling down.

What's your day-to-day diet like? Like for 80-90% of the times, what do you eat? I try to lose weight while building muscle and here's what I eat: protein pancakes (protein powder, banana, egg) chicken breast + rice / buckwheat eggs cottage cheese tuna salad some fruit That's it basically. 1900-2000 calories and 160g protein. And on the weekends I might switch and bring in some variety, but still stay in these caloric range. What about you?

Yes buy he doesn't seem to realize that. I was hoping he'd see more of that after this trip.

@PolyPeter Yeah I was confused by his conclusion. On the one hand he seems to have experienced ego-dissolution and becoming pure existance, and on the other he continued talking about how the existance is the highest priority thing but meaning the egistance of himself. If he meant existance for itself, then isn't his whole endevour meaningless? Maybe I misunderstood.

There is actually a synthetic artificial caviar in my local markets that's less expensive than eggs But eating that will probably kill me lol.

It's been a week since my last post here. I've still been relapsing, but I found a solution now I think. Let's see how it goes, I'll post again after a week.

For the past few years, I’ve been struggling to stay consistent with myself — with the promises I make to myself, with integrity, and with discipline. I’ve examined this many times and identified some fundamental issues that I’m working to fix. This journal will serve as public accountability while I build the foundation for the next phase of my life. I’ve just turned 30, and I now realize how little time I have and how easy it is to waste most of it. I need to take much more action than I did in my 20s. Currently, I’m struggling with addiction, I’m overweight, I do the bare minimum at my job as a software developer, I don’t exercise much, and I deal with some anxiety. I know how to fix all of it — and more. I know what to do to make my life unrecognizably better (at least to try my best), and inaction only makes me resent myself more. I know what to do. I just have to do it. This thread will help me stay accountable. I’ll be posting every Saturday with a report on the previous week. This is how it will go. Phase 1: 3 Months I’ve been overconsuming pornography and engaging in compulsive masturbation. Since I’m single and somewhat isolated, I need to control this habit. I will abstain from both to reset my dopamine reward cycle. I’ve been slacking off at work, so I need to refocus and concentrate more. I currently work in 45-minute blocks, then rest for a few minutes, repeating this 2–3 times a day. I want to increase this to at least 6 blocks. Work inconsistency has caused me to sleep very late or work late into the night. As I fix my work habits, my sleep habits should improve as well. My goal is to sleep at least 7 hours, from 12:00 a.m. to 7:00 a.m. I’ve gained a lot of weight. I’m currently around 105 kg and eat a lot of junk food. The plan is to build muscle and lose fat simultaneously until I reach 72–75 kg. Eat 1,800–2,000 calories with at least 160 g of protein Weight train at least 3 times per week Jog for 30 minutes at least 3 times per week Cut out junk food at least 90% of the time I work as a software developer, and the industry is changing rapidly. I need to keep up. I will invest at least 1–2 hours per day in studying, building side projects, or diving deeper into AI. Read books for at least 1 hour per day. Summary of Phase 1 No porn or masturbation No social media Limited YouTube/Reddit for recreation 6–8 daily 45-minute work blocks 1–2 hours of study 1 hour of reading Fixing sleep routine Weight loss: 1,800–2,000 calories 3x weightlifting, 3x cardio weekly Cut out junk food Phase 2: 3 Months On top of the foundation built in Phase 1: Add spiritual practices: Mindfulness meditation (breath-focused) and Kriya Yoga pranayama Add therapeutic practices such as shamanic breathwork, TRE (Trauma Release Exercises), and self-therapy journaling to work through unresolved trauma and issues from the past few years Continue weight loss and exercise — likely reaching target weight by the end of Phase 2 Continue reading and studying Allow masturbation at most once per week after the first 90 days, since more than that negatively affects my life Phases 3 and 4 I can’t say much about these yet. I imagine strengthening spiritual practices, making them more focused and prioritized, socializing more, and possibly starting to date — though dating may be too distracting at the moment, and I don't want it honestly since I've recently got out of a LTR. Phases 4+ Getting involved with psychedelics More socializing More dating experience Starting to work on additional income streams aside from my job Working on creative projects Traveling Meeting new people Exciting things — but first, the foundation. That’s the plan. I won’t plan further than this because planning is a trap for me. Planning gives me a false sense of accomplishment, but it isn’t real progress. Real accomplishment comes from daily execution — day in and day out. It’s that simple. I’ll update every Saturday. 52 updates total. Let’s see how far I go. See you next week.

https://www.actualized.org/insights/actualized-quotes-464 Life feels much more mystical and spontaneous in childhood, then we get used to it. @Leo Gura Is child more connected to what you are referring or did I misunderstood? Somehow it feels that life got much less exciting once I grew up and survival pressure increased.

I experienced same thing with KFC wings and burger. Once I had to stop all junk food for couple months due to medical issue and once it got resolved, I thought I'd eat some KFC and ordered it. I literally vomitted everything, my body just rejected that shit. But interestingly, after days and weeks of eating and getting used to junk again, it got normilized and I wasn't feeling negative effects much, till I ditched it again for some time.

Depends on frequency. None, if I do very rarely like once every other week. But if I do it daily, it mostly affects my sexual performance very negatively, also I get desensitized to a real life scenarios which makes intimacy with a real human very hard. That's mostly it.

Love it, but this shit is so expensive, if you eat this daily you must be a millionaire

Did he do it? How did he react?

I think that junk food is a perfect analogy because it's obvious that over-consumption causes issues. But notice that some people eat junk food and don't experience negative side-effects because of it. Maybe it's genetics thing? Trump comes to mind as he famously eats McDonalds daily. Maybe porn works like that too I have no idea. Also notice that over time you get desensitized to a normal food, requiring more sugary, salty and exciting processed junk to satisfy the tongue and taste receptors. And when you ditch junk food and return to healthy eating habits, senses are being reset and you are back to normal in couple weeks. If you are lucky you can even reverse your bad health with it. The compulsivity and lack of self-control is a problem here, not porn itself. But porn is designed in such a way and tickles a part of the reptilian brain (so to speak) in such a way that it's very easy to lose yourself in the rabbit hole of it, especially when you are a teenage boy having nothing better to do.

This has some nice VFX.

🕺💃

Yeah but you don't get urges to use more and more fire after every cooking. It's a nice analogy but overlooks the potential of an addiction. It requires more self-control for some people to use it responsibly.

@integration journey Armin has a radio show around that:

Of course, kids get hooked onto that shit in their early 10s. By the time they are in their late teens or early 20s, porn already did the damage.

Because it's true. But that conflicts with self-agenda, because whatever is true, might not be okay with you. That's where spirituality comes into play.

Depends, what do you want out of your life? What are your prioritites at the moment? How aligned is your life to your highest values? What are your highest values anyways? You can't use somebody else's experience as a template, depends on where you are in life.