Anastas Sia

I was sleepy after both Moderna shots and had a slight temperature rise next day, just for a couple of hours tho. The worst thing was I couldn't swim in the pool

It shouldn't really matter. But from my experience people are born like this. My first crush was a girl and I didn't even realize until I started to compare the love I felt then to the love I feel now in a heterosexual relationship. I barely had any lgbt influences, but I wasn't homophobic either. maybe people could transcend their preferences at some point (doesn't necessarily change who they sleep with) but i don't know how that would work yet, i didn't have a preference to begin with lol

this is the anthem they made us sing everyday before classes in school and college. this only made many of us resent the authorities more.

i feel like the makers of these songs are more like an orange/green but they are fighting against a red/blue government. there are english subtitles

found my old drawings from when i was 13-14 its so cool to see how my art develops, its like a separate entity moving through its own stages, it went from stage purple to stage red(putting my frustrations on paper) in my younger years, now Im studying academically and learning stage blue, orange and green, and later I'm hoping it evolves into something great

@UDT @thisintegrated if you think youre at stage yellow or above, how was it like going through stage green for you? cause I see a lot of bias here. Maybe you should hang out with left-wing, lgbtq people more and try to understand their perspective, it would be a huge benefit any way you look at it. you know that many lgbt people cant live their truth because of society and/or the people around them? I live in third world country, its ILLEGAL to be gay here. Is that not censorship? I see a lot of discriminatory views in my family, in regular people, in politics, and now here. masked as some kind of advanced idea. if anywhere youre being silenced it is because your views are getting old and people see that they are hurtful. the world is gonna become more sensitive before it calms down, so what? though I dont think were gonna see a stage yellow government or society in our lifetime. @UDTlanguage changes all the time. whats your point? all I see is fearmongering. if some crazy little portion of progressives decide to ban the word "black" altogether and only let black people use it, society wont accept that. it wont happen. but if youre gonna say the n-word and be hateful of course people will dislike you. in your own experience how has left-wing censorship affected you? Im not talking about something youve read on internet or seen in the news, you choose the media you consume.

by what standards are we even ranking girls? assigning numbers to people is so weird to me

Haven't sculpted in a long time, this was kinda spontaneous

@Nahm Thank you An update: Since I created this topic I've only watched a few educational videos including Leo's which I deliberately searched for. I also clicked on some videos I usually watch but it quickly stopped being interesting. When I was out I've opened twitter a few times but realized that it gives me absolutely nothing of value, it's not even fun, so I put my phone down and didn't want look at it again. I "knew" that it gives me nothing of value but I guess now I've experienced it. I still don't have a regular meditation practice so I'm gonna start a journal and work on waking up on time which is easier now because I don't stay up late watching videos. This is only day 3 so I can't relax now!!! I also set up a launcher on my phone so my homescreen looks like this which is so convenient

My average usage is 12 hours a day. I can't even grab a paint brush or do anything at all without having my phone with me, anything I do is with background noise of youtube videos or music. Everything in my life suffers because of this, but I'm so unconscious I can't comprehend to what extent I'm fucking myself over, and I'm too undisciplined and numb to stop. When I first discovered actualized.org, at 16, I meditated 2 hours that day and managed to meditate an hour a day for two months after that. Then it was on and off, in total I think I have 5-6 months of meditation experience in two years, I'm 18 now. I haven't meditated consistently in over a year, and everything is becoming worse. No motivational video is going to help me. My stupid monkey brain is making this seem more complicated.

@Space Love them all!

@Husseinisdoingfine Thank you, I'll try my best

@Husseinisdoingfine It opened me up a bit, but I think I would have gotten better results if I were more mindful, I didn't even prepare before starting. After stage 2 and 3 I was so exhausted, at stage 4 my body was very still but my mind won't shut up, thoughts on top of thoughts on top of thoughts... then i tried to move but was too tired so i lied down like a star fish for the rest of it. Right now I'm so unaware I rarely pay attention to sensations in my body, and its even harder to do while moving. I'll definitely try it again.