Grateful Dead

I started tripping with my two best friends when I was 18 and we all benefited greatly in terms of personal development and spiritual growth. It also connected us on a level that can't really be described. As if there was nothing between us, I trust them 100% in everything. I think we did about 50 trips together using different substances, mostly LSD and magic mushrooms. After a while, my friends lost interest in tripping for various reasons, but I didn't and started tripping on my own. Even when we tripped together, I contemplated a lot and it led me to an intellectual understanding that I am nothing. But doing it alone is on a whole different level for me, like almost every time a deep breakthrough experience. I don't think I would have been ready for that at first.

My grandmother is 86 and said it's never been this hot here. It doesn't bother me personally, but I don't have to work outside either. I have to be careful not to neglect work that I don't find so interesting for other work that is more interesting. The faster the unpleasant work is done, the better I can focus. Still, it's good to do something on the side so it's not such a drag all day.

Yes, I see the soul as just another temporary form that allows me to have a particular experience in the first place. I think it will also eventually vanish and I as consciousness exist forever. But still, if I want to explore myself further “from within” so to speak, I need some kind of form to do that.

Good points. I think there is a deeper aspect of your "personality", you can call it the soul (or awarness like you say), that will live on with some inherent qualities that are yours right now. But, as you say, all the conditions that have formed since childhood will just vanish and "die" with the body. But yeah who really knows

My true self knows no fear.

No I don't agree with that. I think you will have a different form after this body drops and you will not awaken automatically when that happens.

@Someone here Yeah I see it similarly when you wake up in the morning you can't go back to your last nights dream it's gone. You are still in the dream even when you wake up (or die), but you can stay awake in the dream with enough consciousness.

When I was younger and knew nothing about spirituality, I had a breakthrough experience with DMT where I basically experienced what you said, like I saw my life flash before my eyes, died and then was in the "afterlife" where I was greeted by other beings saying "We love you", "Welcome back", "Where have you been so long?", "We love you", "We love you". I have never felt so welcome anywhere, it was home to me and the moment I started wondering how to get back to earth it faded. But if you wake up at the moment when "death" is supposed to happen, you will realize the Miracle that is happening right now. Back when I had the NDE experience with DMT, it was the best experience of my life at the time, but it completely pales in comparison to an actual awakening.

Yeah same here!

Shouldn't have watched that weird movie before going to sleep. That was definitely one of the shittiest dreams I've ever had... just glad to be back in this dream lol

The world is collapsing, the system will fail, we all see it. Catastrophic events in nature are increasing and there is nothing we can do about it, nor can we help that most people are stupid. It may sound negative, but I see it as an opportunity to live more freely. Nothing matters anyway and when you see that there is no security in life, why not do some bold things that you normally wouldn't do? Great run today, felt weightless/boundless at times, maybe it was a reactivation or just the magic of the forest. My skin felt so smooth this time after the ice cold shower. A friend asked me today if I would like to start a podcast with him. I might do it, we always have super interesting conversations.

we already have a topic about that

?

What's interesting is that my meditations are much better when I'm angry or in a really bad mood. When I'm in a good mood my thoughts get philosophical and have this sparkling energy and therefore I get easily distracted by them. And when I'm in a bad mood I don't want to think at all, I just want to focus on my breath because it feels a lot better.

What you are describing is exactly what the Grateful Dead are known for. You should check them out, they never played a song the same way twice. It's always fresh and new. Someday when I have the time and I'm bored enough I'm going to make a huge Grateful Dead topic and hopefully some of you guys will check them out because you're all missing out

Did 5-MeO yesterday and realized my limitless nature pretty quickly this time, also there was very little fear to begin with so I see some progress being made here. Every time I do 5-MeO, I have no idea how Leo could do it 30 days straight. I can't imagine how hard he had to push himself.

I'm looking for a beginner's cookbook that at best has dishes for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snacks. Of course, the dishes should be healthy and balanced so that everything is covered. I'm open to everything vegetarian, vegan, meat, whatever, the main thing is healthy and not too expensive to make. I mostly cook for myself and I don't mind eating the same thing for several days. You could also recommend one in German if possible but English is good too!

My heart is free and it knows the way to truth

Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose

good take by ken wilber

I shouldn't have had the 3rd espresso yesterday... really love caffeine but it disturbs my sleep too much. I underestimated the effects after two weeks without it. Yesterday I was super productive, but today I didn't get anything done... is it even worth it then? I want to do coffee only on special occasion now like when I don't want to sleep early anyway. It felt great to help a friend out today.

None at all and I ate a good amount of it.

I tried it when I was younger and it don't recommend it. It was a bit euphoric but not really worth it for me.

I need to connect more often with that wild, hairy, ape-like man in me who's ready to kill and doesn't give a fuck about others.