Grateful Dead

I agree, well said! Yes, that is exactly the process I am going through as well. I view it this way: the phases of openness are brief glimpses of freedom, and when things close up again, we are shown exactly where the ego is still trying to hold on, so we know where the work is. To me, the mind calling those experiences a fantasy is just another layer of the barrier. The more I am willing to lean into the closed phases and the doubt, the less they bother me. At a certain point, it all becomes transparent, even the forgetting, and I realize that what is absolute never actually left. During formal meditation, I find it relatively easy to rest in this openness. The real challenge for me lies in integrating this into everyday life, in remaining transparent amidst the movements of life. Like to not simply ignore the closedness and go about my usual activities, but rather to pause for a moment to recognize the resistance precisely at the instant it arises.

I have a different view. The door is always wide open, but it's guarded by the ego, and you simply have to slip through quietly. Yes, I generally agree! The relaxation referred to the point where one has already perceived the barriers and realized that you do not want them. But I would say that once you see through the ego, it's easy, almost too easy. Because every time you perceive inner conflict or resistance you pretty much immediately know, "Ah, that's the ego trying to maintain the separation," and you know you don't want that, so you simply open yourself up again or as I said before, relax/surrender. God IS perfect unity, which is pure Love. I can sense the presence/silence of God right now. Isn't what you call absolute emptiness simply the ego's perception of God's perfect silence? I've been in the 'black and white dead landscape'. I've faced the worst-case scenario where I felt completely abandoned by God for years and during this time I was sure that all my spiritual experiences/insights etc. were just naive delusions and that I had fooled myself. I stood in the mechanical, bottomless abyss where everything seems like a dead illusion. But at some point, I realized that dead void isn't the ultimate reality, but merely the ego's interpretation of perfect silence/God. In other words, nihilism is the ego's final interpretation of its own annihilation. And when you ultimately have to surrender to the void, you realize that emptiness isn't dead, but merley a perfect stillness that the mind perceives as nothingness. So when I speak of God, I don't mean a mental safety net or a theological concept that allows me to escape the abyss. I'm talking about what remains after being thrown into the abyss without any safety nets and realizing that emptiness is/was the last veil of the individual self. Surrender to God what happens after realizing that nihilism, too, is just another fearful thought. And I don't believe it's our choice whether we completely surrender to emptiness, because if we could choose, we would always choose against it. You're pushed into a corner until you have no other choice but to surrender. I believe everyone who has a body is closed to some degree. Some are more transparent, others very dense. The work you talk about is the only thing truly worth doing here anyways, and I do it gladly and with joy. Because I know that the Self remains beyond the body and its barriers, and that is what I truly am.

Yes, that's one way to put it, that's what I mean. I'm wondering, what exactly is your technique for breaking down these barriers? As I see it your natural state must be there when you stop trying to do something or change it, so I understand as long as you're trying to achieve something, you're essentially preventing yourself. I do believe that one has to make an effort for a while to prepare the mind to wake up and recognize where the barriers are. My view is that the closed state is something we actively maintain, and if you simply relax completely or stop doing anything, then you don't have to dissolve anything because you're not maintaining anything. Like the more I try to dissolve something, the more I'm actually strenghtening the one who wants it to fall. For me, simply relaxing into the 'closed' state or the fear is what eventually reveals it to be transparent. It’s not a mental trick, but a total surrender to whatever 'what is' looks like in this moment even if it looks like contraction. Another way I like to describe it, is that I open my mind and surrender all my thoughts to God.

Yes, I see it the same way. But only to the Ego. I think it’s enough to notice the barriers and then simply relax into them. For me, meditation is just the deepest form of relaxation. It seems to me that every form of effort or struggle is the ego’s natural attempt to maintain control. When I see through the struggle, reality simply is as it is. To me, it sounds like you want to use meditation to reach a specific state like boundlessness. For me, it's more about accepting every state exactly as it is, in order to remain open to that which never changes. Basically, I step back and let it all happen, allowing my mind to sink into the Self.

Yes, once the mechanism of the ego is seen through, meditation becomes effortless and natural. I think a major obstacle is our understanding of time, the idea that we have to meditate for longer than a moment. If you consider the present moment as the entirety of time, the need to meditate longer than now disappears. Sometimes my mind is very quiet during meditation, and sometimes not, that doesn't make much difference to me. I let my mind be as it is and don't try to change it, revealing a stillness that is already present, independent of whether the mind is active or quiet.

I think he's keeping it secret because Salvia can be very dangerous and he doesn't want to glorify it. It's absurd that you think Leo is inventing new psychedelics. He already said that the substance has been studied, so it must be somewhat known. You can't give 20 people a new, unknown substance that only he has tested.

A substance that's studied, legal, has a short duration, and is suitable for these purposes? That doesn't leave many options.. Of course. It kind of loosens the mind.

Probably low-dose Salvia Divinorum.

@emil1234 Ok then, I misunderstood because you mentioned "hearing the call." I don't have a guideline, but here is my take on it: I’ve come to believe that less is more when it comes to psychedelics. At this point, I can barely find a good reason to take them anymore. However, I should mention that I’ve had about a hundred trips or more even after the energies started working in me, so it’s easy for me to say now. At the time I was tripping regularly, it felt like the psychedelics were helping me to work through the energetic blockages. In retrospect, it's hard to say how much it helped. Regarding the trauma: This process will naturally unfold. In my opinion, you can't force anything, it just doesn't work that way. But since you mentioned being eager to dive into your shadow sides, now might actually be a good time to learn more about trauma and shadow work. When things do surface, I think it’s important to also address them psychologically and not just try to meditate everything away. My main advice would be: find a spiritual path that resonates with you and just stick to that one. It’s fine to explore other views, of course, but focus on one path and simply do the practices and follow the teachings. Don't try to control the process or worry about being done with it.

I wouldn't call it "fully awakened Kundalini" in my case, but my process seems to have stabilized after many years of ups and downs. Why do you want to take psychedelics right now? You mentioned your awakening was only a couple of weeks ago. That is a very short time. Initially, the shift is often intense and blissful, but the real work is the integration that follows. Since you are still "purging" and "dissolving," your nervous system is likely already working at maximum capacity. Are you looking for another peak experience or in other words are you trying to bypass the current emotional work? The sooner you can stop searching for better or more intense spiritual experiences, the more the actual silence can pervade your life. Psychedelics can be a great tool to recognize barriers, but they can also be a massive distraction from simply accepting what is. If the energy is already moving and your baseline has increased, maybe the best medicine right now is patience and giving your body time to act as a stable capacitor for this new energy.

I watched it too. The part where she asked him for advice because she was feeling lost, and he just said she needed to be fucked by his healing penis while her best friend is watching, is absolutely insane. And after that he just stopped gaslighting her for a while so she'd think she was cured, lol, wtf, that's so evil.

The first few years were incredibly blissful. I meditated almost all day because it felt so good, but I was barely functional and neglected many things. Then, for a few years, it was very physical: many strange body movements, couldn't sit still, and slept terribly. After that, the energy calmed down and became more steady and for about a year, I had spontaneous awakenings almost daily, again not very functional, but ecstatic and beautiful. After that, it all kind of disappeared, and I felt like I had just imagined all of it. Over the next three to four years, it gradually became darker and darker, and it felt like I had lost everything until I was forced to let go of everything and surrender to the void. Since then, my mind has slowly become clearer and calmer, and a peaceful stillness pervades everything. I think the most important thing is to practice patience and trust the process. It took me a long time to learn that to some extent, and now I try to stay out of it as much as possible. For the longest time, I just wanted to reach the "end" of the process and be "done." That was probably the biggest "mistake." Accept what is and simply follow the path.

The energetic breakthrough is only the beginning of a long process of energetic restructuring of the organism. And depending on how much work and awareness you invest in this process, different levels of mastery become possible.

Yes, psychedelics help one realize that the ego is nothing more than a bundle of fear. However, a fire isn't extinguished by adding more wood, but by letting the flame die out. And that happens quite naturally when you let it burn down and, after a while, stop paying attention to it. I think that's the main problem with psychedelics: you think that if you just go deeper, it will eventually dissolve (burn out). But basically, you're just exploring the ego, or as Leo calls it, the "super ego," which isn't inherently bad; it's similar to an astronaut exploring the universe. If that's what someone wants, fine. Maybe it's even part of your path, and you have to burn off karma, who knows? But you can also waste a lot of time on the spiritual path. The universe is endless, after all, so it's hard to ever end the search if you are always waiting for the next big revelation.

Amen, brother. I'm glad more people are waking up to this. I still have a little hope that Leo might understand it himself, but when I see his post here, it doesn't seem that way. When you're out of the cult and then see its followers coming here to defend their leader, it makes you sick.

Haha yeah, I think the historical Jesus himself would cause quite a stir in much of what Christianity has become today. Still, I usually find some good common ground for deeper conversations even with traditional Christians, like those belonging to a church. You're right, I don't actively forget the illusions in the sense of erasing them from memory. It’s more that I see through their falsity, and then they simply lose their reality for me. In that way, they naturally fade from awareness. So in a sense, it’s a form of forgetting, but as a result of seeing clearly. And yes, I also see it very much like a via negativa. It's not about adopting new beliefs, but about letting go of what is false, unlearning rather than learning, until only what is real remains. It’s very simple in that sense: truth is; everything else isn’t. I know A Course in Miracles was channeled, but I haven’t really looked into channeling otherwise. I'll do some research into it, thanks! Yes, that’s probably true. As long as we’re here and have an ego, doubts will come and go. What I find most interesting is that when I'm in contact with @puporing (they/them), it feels very similar to my inner dialogue with my higher self or Jesus. Our views largely align, maybe even completely, but I have the impression that they understand it on a deeper level. I doubt the claims, which I haven't verified myself, namely that they are in the same state as Jesus and that he has been fully resurrected in them. I can acknowledge it as a possibility, but for my remaining doubts to disappear, it would have to happen to me in the same way. Yes, the historical Jesus was like everyone else, though probably much more spiritually advanced. I think it’s easier to worship someone else as the “Son of God” than to accept it about oneself hehe One theory of mine is that Jesus was the first to truly awaken, and from there began developing the teachings that first appear in the New Testament and later in A Course in Miracles. And it still seems to be evolving. I’m not sure if I understand you correctly. Do you mean because at first I thought I was speaking to someone else, like Jesus as a teacher and over time I realized that he was actually leading me back to my true Christ Self, which is Him? Yeah and it sounds like you have some idea of what it takes to get here Interesting that you mention Friend of the Devil, because lately I often return to that song. It’s one of the few where I haven’t yet fully recognized the deeper wisdom behind it. I like your approach, thanks for sharing. And I completely agree, the deepest forgiveness comes through Grace. And since you mentioned it, I play in a band and also write my own songs. And honestly, it seems impossible for me to write songs that aren’t somehow related to the path. I wish I could write something less spiritual sometimes lol. Robert Hunter truly had a genius for telling these stories in a way that didn’t seem overtly spiritual. Thank you, brother. I appreciate your openness, it's always refreshing to have a sincere exchange.

Yes, when you return to the ultimate reality, no trace remains. There is just boundless freedom – perfect peace. The illusion of the world goes beyond your individual experience. A part of the whole can return to the source, while the remaining fragments are still lost in ignorance.

Before I started my thesis, I asked a friend who was very knowledgeable about it for some advice, and he told me that this kind of work is 90% about making decisions. It might help you, too.

Yes. Lol yeah you know, once in a while you get shown the light, in the strangest of places if you look at it right Yes, the process feels very much like becoming conscious and letting go. But I would describe it more as a process of forgetting illusions and remembering the truth, as the Course frames it. I can try but it will sound crazy lol. Shortly after I began reading the Course, I had like a paranormal experience, in which Jesus introduced himself to me, and a kind of inner dialogue began. At first, I honestly thought I was going psychotic. But my doubts mostly faded as time went on and he told me things about the “outside world” that turned out to be true every time. Then also Miracles started to happened through me regulary, which had a direct impact on the people around me. Also I got answers to most of the questions I had and was shown things I needed/wanted to see, like what seemed to be past lifes etc. I also received specific instructions for deepening my awakening, and they worked. Like what I used to reach mostly through psychedelics or intense meditation became natural and normal. However, I still had doubts about who I was really in contact with, and part of me still thought that maybe I was just crazy and imagining it all (which is true in a way). So eventually, he revealed to me that he is like a reflection of my higher self, and that I just wasn't quite ready to accept that yet. And to some degree, I still haven't. Another user of this forum(@puporing), who was sadly banned by Leo, claims to have completely merged with the mind of Jesus. Although I am still skeptical of such claims, I can no longer dismiss them based on my own experiences. I've come to see Christ as our true Self, the shared identity beyond the ego. Jesus, as a man, remembered this completely. He rejoined the awareness of Christ fully, and now he lives from that awareness. He remains in that consciousness and, in my experience, tries to lead me and also everyone else back to it. I think Jesus was saying that he realized what was being communicated to them in their sacred law, and that they could realize it too, based on the very law they claimed to believe in. Ah yes… it’s been a long, strange trip. And now, I’ve kind of settled down, enjoying the stillness of my nature. Dude, finally another one here who appreciates the Grateful Dead.

At its core, the Course teaches how to unlearn fear through forgiveness, and remember love as the only truth. It opens with the line: "Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists. Herein lies the peace of God." That captures the essence of the Course quite well. What I found was an inner framework that helped me shift my perception and, as a result, transform my mind. It doesn’t really offer a new belief system; rather, it helps to undo the old egoic one. At first, I didn’t believe in Jesus or that the teachings were truly his. But as you said, I knew I wanted to let go of the self, I just didn’t really know how. And in the Course, I immediately recognized a path that actually made it possible for me. Jesus then began to reveal himself quite quickly, as a kind of inner guide or higher self. But it took me a long time to accept him and begin to understand what he is really about. And I still haven’t fully grasped how this mind works, so my understanding keeps deepening.

Well, Jesus guided me and, through his teachings, showed me a way to open my heart to love. I think one should give credit where it's due – to each saint his candle. Of course, everyone is free to find their own way to overcome the ego. But without such an effective approach, it would have taken me forever.

If you want to know more, you'll have to ask more specifically. In short, after a long spiritual quest, I came across The Course in Miracles (Jesus's teachings), and with it, I was able to piece everything together and end my search.

I haven't watched the videos, but I guess I'm one of those people. Before I was caught up in it myself, I thought, like most people here, that anyone on such a path was simply deluded. But then the teachings of Jesus spoke to me and touched me like nothing else. So I trusted the path and followed Jesus, and through that, I was able to correct and transform my mind.

Maybe not in the conventional sense, but I've followed the teachings of Jesus and know myself as Christ, if that's what you mean. In my view, God didn't create this world. Rather, I see it as a "collective" dream of the ego, in which we seem to have lost ourselves and now appear to be "trapped" and are largely seperated from God or our true self. So to me, God is that which doesn't change, the eternal reality. And what changes is an illusion, not real, and therefore, not of God.