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Everything posted by acidgoofy

  1. @thenondualtankie MDMA can be very helpful to integrate challenging experiences.
  2. This movie is a masterpiece. I can't believe how good it is, check it out!
  3. I think a good measure of how conscious you are is how joyful you are in this moment. When I reached the highest state, I sang along to one of my favorite songs and surrendered completely to it. Then in the blink of an eye I was gone and all that was left was total freedom and perfect peace. I think it was a conscious decision to come back here, but a part of me is still there, always. Grateful Dead - Cassidy
  4. I keep underestimating myself whenever I face a challenge. Feels great to finally be done with Covid. My mind is working normally again and I was able to study a lot today. Also great run today and can't wait to pump some iron tomorrow. I really want to keep journaling this time, it's great to clear my head. Maybe it helps if I feel like I'm sharing it with others.
  5. I was raped in my dream last night. I think it is the processing of my last realization where I noticed how many of my thought processes are shaped by others.
  6. Masculine men are looking for feminine women. How much do you embody your femininity?
  7. No, don't do that. Just take the pill
  8. This morning I was so grateful to have Leo as a teacher/role model that I almost cried. I'm starting to realize more and more how lucky I am. 5-MeO yesterday was very different from the other times I've done it. Like it almost didn't affect me and I felt like I could do more and more, but I know I had to be careful and stopped when I felt like this could be dangerous. Then in the evening I had a reactivation where all the energy in my body moved to the top of my head and I felt super high for hours, it was amazing. I now feel ready to go deeper with this substance. I'm looking forward to getting a lot of work done today.
  9. It was very revealing to see what Leo is pointing to in the conversation between Spira and Kastrup. All the spiritual books and content that I have consumed are actually a hindrance to awakening now. That's what Leo means by whipping the slate clean. It's almost like I thought if I just emulate other so-called enlightened masters and think how they think I'll be enlightened like them one day LOL. Now I feel sick like I have all this spiritual garbage in my head. I can understand that it was useful to get me here, but now it's like I poisoned myself, ugh. When I listen to this lecture from this perspective, I see how hopelessly deluded these people are, as am I. It's going to take a lot of work to clean up this mess, but at least now I know that I am sitting on a pile of shit. Thanks for the love @Leo Gura
  10. Interesting dream tonight. First I was caught for driving under the influence of drugs by a cop I know. Then I went on a killing spree because the cops were threatening some women and afterwards we had a wild orgy lol. Woke up super fresh and clear headed this morining.
  11. I would say relaxed concentration. @Alta Mindfulness meditation is very good for developing the ability to enter flow.
  12. Sometimes I wish I would just work the way I used to in a regular blue-collar job like everyone else here. You do your thing, go home and that's it. Working towards my life purpose is a constant challenge and I always have to see how I can make ends meet. I know that it will be worth it in the end when I have my own business, but until then I have to fight every day to make it happen. In a way, it even satisfies me to give up all those things in order to achieve my goals.
  13. I love when it rains in the morning, it feels like the world slows down a bit.
  14. Took a few puffs before beach volleyball today and had the best flow of the year. That was so much fun, the perfect balance to studying all day in front of the computer. Super grateful right now My skin was very smooth again after the cold shower. This is new, maybe something has changed because I was sweating so much during Covid. Not sure if it's too late for a few bites of dark chocolate, but I'm craving it right now, so maybe my body needs some?
  15. There is no other, no boundary between anything.
  16. No, I dont think so. But I had some shared experiences that I couldn't have had alone. Like our trips synchronized and we would see exactly the same visuals etc. and shot energy out of our fingers and play with it together. It was very cool but the insight from that you can also have alone.
  17. I started tripping with my two best friends when I was 18 and we all benefited greatly in terms of personal development and spiritual growth. It also connected us on a level that can't really be described. As if there was nothing between us, I trust them 100% in everything. I think we did about 50 trips together using different substances, mostly LSD and magic mushrooms. After a while, my friends lost interest in tripping for various reasons, but I didn't and started tripping on my own. Even when we tripped together, I contemplated a lot and it led me to an intellectual understanding that I am nothing. But doing it alone is on a whole different level for me, like almost every time a deep breakthrough experience. I don't think I would have been ready for that at first.
  18. My grandmother is 86 and said it's never been this hot here. It doesn't bother me personally, but I don't have to work outside either. I have to be careful not to neglect work that I don't find so interesting for other work that is more interesting. The faster the unpleasant work is done, the better I can focus. Still, it's good to do something on the side so it's not such a drag all day.
  19. Yes, I see the soul as just another temporary form that allows me to have a particular experience in the first place. I think it will also eventually vanish and I as consciousness exist forever. But still, if I want to explore myself further “from within” so to speak, I need some kind of form to do that.
  20. Good points. I think there is a deeper aspect of your "personality", you can call it the soul (or awarness like you say), that will live on with some inherent qualities that are yours right now. But, as you say, all the conditions that have formed since childhood will just vanish and "die" with the body. But yeah who really knows
  21. My true self knows no fear.
  22. No I don't agree with that. I think you will have a different form after this body drops and you will not awaken automatically when that happens.
  23. @Someone here Yeah I see it similarly when you wake up in the morning you can't go back to your last nights dream it's gone. You are still in the dream even when you wake up (or die), but you can stay awake in the dream with enough consciousness.
  24. When I was younger and knew nothing about spirituality, I had a breakthrough experience with DMT where I basically experienced what you said, like I saw my life flash before my eyes, died and then was in the "afterlife" where I was greeted by other beings saying "We love you", "Welcome back", "Where have you been so long?", "We love you", "We love you". I have never felt so welcome anywhere, it was home to me and the moment I started wondering how to get back to earth it faded. But if you wake up at the moment when "death" is supposed to happen, you will realize the Miracle that is happening right now. Back when I had the NDE experience with DMT, it was the best experience of my life at the time, but it completely pales in comparison to an actual awakening.
  25. Yeah same here!