Jetam

Hello I want to share my first 5 meo dmt experience today. This was my first experience with this substance. I smoke it probably less than 2 mg and more than 1 mg. I slowly evaporate it along the pipe, first, it becomes liquid and then I start smoking. I lie down after the smoke and I realize that my hard biting is getting wild. The heartbeat becomes so waild that it becomes painful. I try to stay calm and accept everything that is happening, and on the other hand, a voice shouts at me “I don’t want to die”. After a minute or two, the heart rate drops and becomes normal. I need to admit that so intense heart rate was unexpected and frightening me. A few minutes later everything becomes normal. Do you have any similar experiences?

On this topic, I would like to write about situations and questioning about my partner which make me sed, because I do not know how to deal with it. Ok, the situation goes like something like that: Around 5 years ago I meet a girl who bout attract each other. Very soon I discover that even she is a very loving person she becomes very neurotic when I touch (unconsciously) EGO triggers, what is seen as her get upset over me for very trivial things, as: - I left the key in the lock when we are around the house. She became very upset because of it, more I try to calm her down, more upset she becomes, and more upset she becomes more she tries to hurt me. - When she has problems at the job, and she cries about that, I try to talk about, how she feels, talk about different situations at work, how the situation arises….. She gets very upset on me because I don’t want to help her “I need a man who knows how to make me happy, and put my attention out of a problem”. - When she asked me for advice, and I started to discuss solutions, which are not black and white, she upset of me, “just say which solution is better, I don’t need philosophy”, and if I chose wrong answer (according to her believes), the situation becomes even worse. And there are a lot of examples when I express an opinion or do something where I do or say something, do not go along with her EGO, where even she does not physically upset I see big contempt on her face. But all situations have the same dynamic. During a joyful day, when all goes great something unpredictable happens, what disrupts that peace, either I do or say something, what triggers her. As I see, she gets upset when I do or say something different from her believes or expectations. At first, I try to talk about that, but I soon realize that if I digging into a problem, I call even more problems. I send her some “positive thinking” video which she even does not click play. I wrote a novel for her where I try to illustrate our relationship…. She was very excited about the story and she understood what I want to tell her, but in long term, nothing happens. One of intesting moment was when I felt that she is very open, I easy trigger her to talk about our relationship, and during the conversation, she said “I try not to get upset on you”. We bout know that her reactions have nothing to do with our relationship, but it comes from different places from her life. During those years I realize that all of her reactions come from her believes, came from her row model learned from parents. The situation becomes even more interesting when we visiting her parents when she never gets upset on me (totally different attitude), but she gets upset on her father. And her father is that person where she has learned patterns that makes her upset. Her father is a very fear base acting person, the door is always locked, even he stays next to the door, that perhaps the robber would not come into the house. When her mother needs a car, he always drives a car out of the garage, because he sed “she can damages car when he goes out”, but when he is not at home she drives car out of a garage with no problems…. And so on. I always try to act out of a higher self and have a heart open to share my being with the world, because my deepest passion in life is to share my being with any other being. I consciously committed my self to no egoistic life. But when she attacks my actions or words which come from an attitude which represents my being it hurts me. Or more than hurts me it makes me sad because I do not know how to deal with her to have a peaceful life. I understand what is happening, but I can’t found the appropriate way how to deal with it. I will be very grateful for any suggestions which help me deal with that.

Do you have any suggestions for a good course, in accordance with your opinion?

love it

During my life purpose researching and developing skills, I found out a significant lack of knowledge how to attract attention and to sell my products. During research, I found out some online marketing course. Days ago, I bought thesixfigurementors, at this moment I have mixed thoughts about this course. There absolutely is some useful content, but soooo many words….. Do you have any experience whit this program? Or other similar programs?

I using ETF for several years and works great for me. Tapping is one of the fasting workings technique to the liberation of limiting emotions A great resource is also https://www.thetappingsolution.com/ Every year at (I mean) march they have a »tapping summit«, where they have a lot of great guests and tapping with.

My spiritual life purpose in the egocentric world. During discovering my life purpose, I discover clear filing that I won't live through it and spread that filing through people–society. Through discovering that I realized that this filing is Love. I questioned my self which activity (primarily economic) is the most appropriate to share Love with people. Through meditation and other activities where I reach the connection to my deeper self, I realized that there is no important which activity I do, there is no important if I’m a garbage man, engineer, CEO, or pianist, all professions can bring me just the same degree of suffering or joy. The only important thing is our attitude to ourselves. When we fell resistance we suffering, more resistance we eliminate more Love we feel. Through that attitude I living my time, where I realize that the best tool to share that attitude is my appearance. Last year I see the results of my work on myself, but I experience some cold showers. Through my communication with people, I see that they see Love at me, but almost no one appreciates it. For example: When I talk to my boss about a problematic topic he responds to my opinion with words “many times you will be fucked in life if you see the world in such an honest way”. It was one of my first sign, that people see Love at me. I share Love with people because of me, because I am sure that this attitude allows me the most joyful life. But on the other side, that is a lot of people around me, which acting is very egocentric and there all life is based on their ego, because of it, they are denial about all that goes opposite to their ego. This kind of attitude is based on the whole business models that I experience through my working experience. There is one of my biggest dilemmas “how to escape the egocentric business model” if this business concept is the only one that I experience. My mind has a big wish to start my own high conciseness business, but I can’t reach the point where my mind goes along with my heart – my life purpose. It is a trap where I cough myself and still looking for a solution. Any comments are welcome.

And 2020

Fer days ago, when I looking at my 3 years old vision bord I feel intension to create new one. Here it is my 2017 and 2020 vision bord ?

I wish to share my life purpose. Life purpose: Shorter the bridge between Reality and Imagination Zone of genius: Found logic through nothing Domain of mastery: Logic Ideal medium: Language Top Value: Through my work I also found out that my the clearest value in Clarity – Peace – Focus, as one, there is no possibility to separate to three values…. Other values are pillars of the main one. Impact Eria: Make business greener: raise consciousness of leaders of importance of sustainable business But some words here need interpretation which I reach through contemplation and synchronize to me (The interpretation of the words is necessary to understand my Life purpose written above): Imagination: - Power of the mind. - Our ability to create the world as we know - All system, concept, believes…. which we know are products of human imagination - Do we need imagination to be creative? Probably yes, so earthly life need imagination. - Actually, imagination is all that is not Reality - Actual imagination is all that is not Reality Reality: - Is emptiness, nothingness, - Power without tension, - There is only love, peace, joy, happiness, intelligence, (higher self) - State of formless Logic: - Is a bridge between language Language: - Expression (speaking, writing, singing, playing, drawing,…..) - The purest expression language is our self. Communicate to the world through our self, any earthly expression language used. I’m open to debate about content of my life purpose

@Nahm Thank you for your advice. Actually, I found out that I too zoom in on some logical details in my life. I always seek logic, create logic, even my life purpose is deeply connected to logic. I really feel to need to zoom out my picture of perspective.

Thanks for the encouragement, I really appreciate it. What are my obstacles? I notice that is part of me who love wage slavery, who is comfortable to not step forward, who don’t want to have a life purpose Of course, it is EGO me. Real me is so passioned about life purpose work and deeply grateful for my resources. Those EGO vs real me fights drain out energy of me, make me panic and ineffective.

Hi, I decided to wrote my first topic because I found my self trapped somewhere between Life purpose path and wage-slave job. Well, let's go down the line. About a year ago I found my life purpose which synchronizes to me, but the idea is very abstract so, I still working on concretization. To pay my bills I working on engineering company as a financial planner of an environmental infrastructure project (sounds very green, but in core business process is red-blue-orange). It is typical 9 – 5 job. In career beginning, I loved this job and putting my best energy to provide high quality and efficiency project plan to clients. During years I found out what I actually did. I found out some process automatization (through MS Excel BVA programming). I do a presentation of my improvement to co-workers and management. I also have some preposition how to integrate this model to whole business process. They supported my proposal but didn't really understand it, so nothing happened. So, my improvement in the process saves more than 50% of my work time. Because it is a 9-5 job, I need sit on my chair 40 hours per week, because of wage slavery. During this time, I have in average 20 hours free time per week. In my first year, I attended some financial analysis and financial management online courses which were very advanced and usefully, but I soon found out that this knowledge is meaningless to create life as I wish. Then I go furred, and start working on myself, take some personal growth courses, start reading self-realizing books, and also found out Actualized.org. During those years I do hundreds of pages of notes of my journey, life Purpose Course, where I crystallizing my life purpose. As my life purpose slowly crystalizing also my guilt and shame crystalizing. Guilt and shame because I can’t express my self during my 9-5 job. All my ideas about business improvement have been suppressed. I often ask my self why to insist on this company. The answer is always same “because of my 20 hours per week”, but is it worth all this guilt, shame and pain? I feel the answer is NO. On the one hand, I have my wage slavery which costs me a lot of oppression, but same time give me additional time to work on myself but in the other hand I have my Life Purpose project, which can not be realized without additional time which I have on the job. Any kind of market implication of my life purpose project is far away. Why I don’t change a job? Wage slave job is a wage slave job no meter or it is box A or box B. At this point, I feel like lost in the maze, where I eat a lot of shame, guilt, and fear which is actually my food to walk on a maze where I working on my life purpose. I am very grateful for any comment, opinion or advice. In the end, I wish to share one story with you, which mean a lot to me. The Cracked Pot story you can found at the following link: https://www.moralstories.org/the-cracked-pot/