PepperBlossoms

The others had good replies. I am so sorry as well. Oh that must be super tough! It is okay to mourn. Take all of the time you need. You will get through it eventually. You are strong but it is also okay to be weak right now. Creating new things when you are up for it can help based on whatever creativity means to you. Sending a virtual hug.

I am sorry you are having the anger! That is tough! That is great that you have identified it and don't want it! I was in the same situation where I was angry and did not want to be angry but it was lingering - What helped me was I had watched a Susanne Cook Greuter video about different ego level development's reponses to covid and noticed that the ego will have different responses to things and some are more egoic than others- when I realized this - I was super embarrassed and let go of the anger as my anger was based on a low level of ego development. Here's a summary off the top of my head: Lower stages - the problem is out there, it is their fault; My scope of concern only extends to myself; Luck is on my side and I will get lucky - bad stuff happens to others but not me; Being too simple-minded and not looking at all the various aspects to something Middle stages - looking at the situation from multiple perspectives; how am I part of the problem? Learning more about the details to how something works; Doing things to help others; extending the scope of concern beyond just the self. High stages - accepting that everyone is at their own level of ego development and appreciating the benefits that all the ego levels offer - feeling thankful for what each level allows; noticing the beauty in how short life is and appreciating that it is still here and hasn't left yet; embracing the goodness in all types of situations good or bad

@Stakres I'm sorry you aren't feeling well! Some thoughts - A - Sadness is a natural emotion. Could look into the root cause of what is triggering it and letting it linger. B - Could do some research on how to grow your own stuff if relying on the research is too hard... C - Creating ways for your life to be more creative can be helpful - what can you do so that creativity just starts to happen all the time and pretty easily? What tools do you need, what situations do you need to put yourself in? D - You may start to feel better when you can come to the point that you just have to start working on your goals and can't not do them - it may feel super great and powerful!

I had a similar thought after taking an acting class where the actor has to be able to switch from one feeling/emotion to another within a snap. I can see though that it can be really hard to stop feeling one way by just telling oneself too. I find that I have to do more thinking about it - whether I realize I am being ridiculous like crying loudly into a pillow and making it so my crying is loud and dramatic, I feel that the emotion is not needed and no longer authentic, I think the situation through some more, I see some other thing that gets me to draw new connections and think about it differently, I see something that is inspiring and want to be more like that instead of the negative thing I am embodying, I realize that I am just adding more negative thoughts to keep my negativity going and I am the one wanting it to continue and fueling it, etc. Negative thoughts are quite interesting and quite impactful. Interesting topic to explore. Could say that is it hard for someone who is terrified of cockroaches to be automatically no longer terrified of roaches by deciding that they aren't - they may have to reframe it and see the roach as a friend, a visitor, a traveller - could call the roach cute instead of ugly and have some conversations with it like, Hey Mister Roach. How is it going?

@Arcangelo Wow. I try to cut people out (push them away) and then feel like I need them after that and then try to bring them back but then they don't want to come back after that. It is hard to push them away and then stick to it.

@NatureB You could approach it like: I really appreciate you but I want my own space right now.

Cool! Must have been interesting! Agree - there can be lots to learn. Agree here too - you could help one do more than just escorting - could introduce her to so many things! She could be pretty fun to hang out with too. You could really help her a lot. Get her into engineering, research, teaching, design, languages, learning.. something more - she may really, really appreciate it. Also - escorting can be a very needed thing - sex tends to be a common need and the escort helps address that need. We are alive because of sex! Here's an epiphany - Could consider an escort to be the equivalent to a counselor but for sexual urges! It is interesting in the ability to just have someone for the sex but I can see that if that is the closest best that is available, then that is what is selected. Would be interesting to consider the psychology of girls that go into escorting - I remember I wanted to work at the strip club and the owner said I could but my friends told me not to.. so I imagined myself chained to a post.. and did not go. Yeah one could say that us girls have issues that make those type of things attractive to do - there are so many various levels of environmental/social factors too - all the magazines promoting sexy women, Disney/romance movies promoting the girl to find the man, sexy clothing stores for girls, focus on looks/hair/purses, or just the desire for attention - yeah - it is a maze a girl might go down and not realize until they have explored the maze or looked beyond the maze that the maze doesn't really lead to anything else and is basically a dead end. I hadn't realized how amazing learning and creativity really was - I feel like it is hard as a young girl to be able to see advertising and note how much it can influence you and the advertising was really, to me, promoting the sexy woman (boob jobs, straight teeth, designer purses, sexy clothes), more than it was the smart, creative, adventurous, kind, talented woman (but that could have just been me only noticing one sliver of reality).

@Preety_India Just wondering - What do you mean by crab bucket? @James Pyle Hmm.. If you want a partner that participates in Orthodox Christianity, I would look for her at those establishments. Because you're only 20, when you are 30, you may be completely different and your list may be completely different too. I am sorry about your mom's death - that must be tough. Interesting note at how the monks rejected looking at other stuff - kinda a natural human response so can't blame them - but at the same time, they were (maybe) denying being more open-minded. Sometimes unproductive stuff can be super productive in a weird creative way but it depends. That is nice of you to want to adopt some kids. No one is perfect but yeah I can see that some people will be more stable than others - crazy how that happens. I hope you find your girl! @Jeff21 haha wow - spiritual singles - I didn't know there was a site for that!

It is an interesting point at how much emphasis money has. Interesting question to ask @Value ! Money can have a large determination on lots of decisions - where do I live? do I just keep living with my parents, do I move out? What career should I go for? Is this going to provide a livable wage to where I won't care about money or not enough? Does my partner do anything to earn money and if not, how the heck are we going to make it last? How does my income compare to my coworkers and are the newbies getting paid more fairly than the people already there and if so, am I a horrible employee or do I need to ask for a raise or leave the company? Should I buy some crypto just for the fun of it so I can live the crypto wild life? This person is struggling with money - should I give them some? How much? Should I donate to this cause? Money is like the equivalent to the air that we breathe but in terms of interactions and resources. I don't have any money - I am going to starve. Hmm... you would think that people/governments would be better with money and not go into such huge debts or make things more affordable if needed but life is crazy.. Money smells funny (and that rhymes).

@Lazertazer Thank you so much for bringing up creativity! Yes I love the creative parts and it is so inspiring - even if it is just creating these new scheduling things in excel for who is doing what project when to show availability or getting ideas and tasks jotted down in microsoft paint, or even sitting and imagining how to do the design or what steps to do in what order. Yeah this one is tough. I'm currently a civil engineer which to one degree helps to repair damaged infrastructure and provides reliable water/sanitary/flood prevention/streets, but another - If our projects are underwater from rising sea level in 40-100 years, they are not long term.. but the skills that I am getting could be. I have seen lots of animals killed such as dragon flies flying in to the shiny SUPER HOT asphalt that was just placed or frogs that are trapped in a sanitary sewer plant - I felt horrible - or seeing the contractor tear up TONS of trees. To one degree - the planet tends to be always changing; but to another - the existing nature is beautiful and it is sad to see insects/animals/trees with habitat loss and death. Awesome! My brothers do that as well! (Maybe you work with one of them!) Wow! Good job! It is super cool/inspiring to notice things that were never noticed before which is my favorite part. @blankisomeone I'm sorry - I feel like I ruined your thread.. I hope you are still on your excitement path and are enjoying your vacation. Nice job with coming up with new insights and inspirations!

And creativity first too! (Although it may not necessarily matter either)

I think the stuff will depend on the girl. Some girls won't care at all about any of the cultural norms. Others will. You could talk with yo gurl and see where she stands on each one and where you stand so that you two got it cleared up of what is going to be expected/not happening. If she wants to do all of the cultural stuff and you don't, get a cooler girl.. or adapt?! It is not all about her either! It's about you too! I guess some cultures will have far less optimal norms than others.

Yeah it can be hard. I watched a Spice Girls youtube video this morning and one of the comments on there was that "they were not creative enough" and it got me questioning creativity and situations/systems that allow for it to be easier and those that make it harder. I could be making a crazy connection as I hadn't thought it out yet but it seems that the interactions where lots of creativity is happening - new ideas, new thoughts, new conversations, new activities, new adventures, new explorations, new memories, new de-ja-vus, etc. - those are the ones that tend to be the most stimulating. The interactions where there's no push or desire to "create" can get dulled. Some interactions just may have better combinations that allow for it to more easily happen than others. So in that regard, it comes down to- are we as a pair wanting to create some freaking funny, cool, awesome, pretty, colorful stuff together? (and not just wanting, but doing!) Also, the notion of "create" can creatively be explored too.

@Conscious life Ah it is really hard. Especially if you have to see them everyday. I'm sorry you are having this issue! One thing to take note of - Are they holding you back or are you telling yourself that they are? A - could leave the situation and increase distance B - could talk with them and try to be their friend and make it less toxic C - could try to see it from their perspective D - could focus on yourself, your work, your thoughts and try to keep that focus on you E - could talk with them about these issues about how it feels off and is bothering you.. Eventually the toxicity will probably pass.. even if it takes months or years - either you may reframe the situation, you may leave, or get it worked out - IDK toxicity is a strain (for me!) because it takes up so much thought space that I could have spent elsewhere.. but it is also something to note - why is it catching my (your) attention and why am I (you) bothered by it? Maybe it is you wanting to focus more on it because there is something there to learn/observe and once you don't, it won't be as bad? You just have to figure it out and work through it?? Good luck!

@Strangeloop Hmm I guess what "creepy" is will vary from girl to girl and some will be able to tolerate more than others. If you're trying to not be creepy and are getting feedback that it you creepy, you could try to take note of what is getting the reaction that you are creepy and then avoid doing that and try something else; get more creative! I'm sorry you are having these issues! You could turn creepy into attractive if you work on it. Different girls are attracted to different things too - some may like it.

@kindayellow Yeah sure go for it! That was nice of them. I'm glad you are doing better!

Nice!

Love the love!

Money quantities are preferred when it is enough to be reliable and not have to think about it ever.

Omg haha.

There's the non-duality perspective and the skepticism perspective. Thanks. I was talking to my boss about non-duality and he had asked if it was just another belief system and I was telling him that I had experienced it and then it got me thinking and then I realized I deluded myself and never made the connection and had stopped being a skeptic that there are many unknowns and new perspectives to take on - I had been writing blogs about non-duality and then realized that I was writing about it as if it is absolute instead of it being a perspective. I liked the creativity and enthusiasm that this kind of mindset allows for but I realized just how horribly unreliable I got at work and how lazy and irresponsible I became. It's good for thinking and creating but not for careers where you really need to be making good progress in your projects everyday. My work ethic went way, way down. I'd be curious to see if all the people who do psycadellics on here can actually keep their work ethics at work up or if they become unreliable. There's more the desire to do your own thing than there is to do what the project needs. It's weird because it can help for making learning really interesting which is needed for careers but at the same time, it also makes it to where the tasks just don't get done.

Hey y'all. I realized how amazingly exciting and awestruck Steve Irwin was and Bill Nye the Science guy is. Can you guys list some more names of people that have this kind of contagious excitement? I'd put Leo on this list too. Thanks! I wondered if shrooms had a correlation to the excitement/interest/educational level and found via google search that Irwin died when he was on them (from the stingray) and Bill Nye did have a segment on his show that discussed it... The shrooms open up the level of exploration/observation to a whole new level. I just want to see who the others are that also have this excitement.

Just like beliefs, experiences are not good enough to say that something is absolutely true. How can one be so sure that their experience is an accurate representation of reality beyond any possible doubt? It doesn't matter how many non-duality experiences someone has or how many people have it, that does not necessarily mean that it is 100% no matter what how reality actually is. I bashed religion so many times for thinking that it is more right than other religions and the thinking that it was the one and how the worshippers don't question their religion enough and then I realized that my thoughts/experiences about non-duality were no different and that I had turned it into one too and am embarrassed that I had fallen for it. I think the biggest problem with non-dual teachers is that they get trapped in their own belief/experience and forget that life could possibly be some other way. Our inputs are limited with our eyes, ears, nose, mouth, and skin as well as the brain processing. For all anyone knows, these sensors and processors could be tricking us and we could just be hooked up to a machine. Sure use/experience/become non-duality, but note that it may not be the final answer to the understanding of all of everything.

Thanks for sharing. I am so gullible I fall for stuff super easily

And then you may realize that non-duality is another belief system and can add that to your mental repertoire of knowledge too.