Mason Riggle

@Harlen Kelly what misinformation and conspiracy theories is @Goldzilla spreading?

@Preety_India I wasn't suggesting it's a good strategy. I just think it's a bit misguided to think that "Men don't like being approached. They reject."

@Preety_India true story.

My wife made the first move. I was friends with her brother, and I was staying at his place for work, and she woke me up with a BJ.. the rest is history. I must be an anomaly too.

Trying to be yourself and trying not to be yourself are the same exact thing. Both are 'what you are doing' which is 'being yourself', and you're always doing this, effortlessly.

Judgement, blame, hatred, etc all stem from the same thing.. The notion of 'free will'. Once you recognize that you can't behave other than how you do, and that the same is true for others, this type of judgement becomes unsustainable. This notion of judgement no longer makes sense. (This doesn't mean you stop judging in the pragmatic sense.. You don't have to feel judgement towards a relatively active volcano to still realize you'd rather live by a dormant volcano... You just don't have any feelings of negativity towards volcanos for being however they are)

@Daniel347 then what makes you think your human mind can find a logical answer to your questions? Why did I imagine anything? Because pizza and sex are awesome. I know that's not logical, but....

Absolutely.

@Daniel347 if there were only good things, how would you know they were good? 'Good' only has meaning relative to some other state that's 'not good'. It's like having just the inside of a cup with no outside. Why not just make cups that are just the inside with no outside?

For me I keep it simple. Awakening is nothing more than an organism recognizing that what it often mistakes to be the thinker of it's thoughts is just more thought. I think my thoughts the same way I grow my hair. That is to say, my organism does it automatically and there's no separate 'me' hiding somewhere inside my organism 'doing it'.

I know it's really hard, but I'll cum right out and say it.. (Hopefully I'm not being too big of a dick)..... Lol, just kidding. I got nothing.

This is a story you are telling yourself. It's a limiting belief. Whether you think you can, or think you can't, you're right.

@Lucas-fgm I didn't say it never works. And I agree, approaching in real life is the way to go.. but there's lots of places beside clubs to do this. Clubs are like meat markets, and everyone knows why everyone else is there.. and so the competition is at an all time high. I've met the girls I've had 'long term' relationships with - at work, at a convenience store, at work again, at a friends house, kayaking with friends, etc.. and always when I least expected to meet someone.. I've had some one night stands with girls I've met at clubs. A few first dates that never went to second dates... but all of the serious relationships I've had, just sort of cropped up organically.

Tom Cruise is 5' 7".. and he married 5' 9" Mimi Rogers, 5' 9" Katie Holmes, and 5' 11" Nicole Kidman.

@InsecureAnon seriously stop telling yourself these limiting stories. Don't bother going to clubs and doing pick up. That's probably not going to get you a lasting relationship anyhow. In my experience (and I have quite a bit, I'm pretty sure I'm one of the oldest members on here), you will meet her when you least expect it.. when you're not trying. By trying, you come off as desperate. Do your best to focus on yourself. Do things you enjoy. Learn to be perfectly content to be by yourself. When you radiate contentment, and confidence in your own self, and 'non-neediness', you will become like a magnet for girls.

@ertopolice "you miss 100% of the shots you never take." - Wayne Gretski It may take time, but I think you'll find your connection. Maybe not with this particular guy, but there's literally millions of guys out there. You don't want a guy who's only into girls for their looks anyhow, so if that's the case with this guy, his loss, not yours. Obviously physical attraction is important, but it's definitely not as important as most people think, and if you can build a solid mental connection, even if the physical attraction isn't super strong in the beginning, time can change that. Just look at those 'married at first sight' shows. Those couples marry someone they've never seen once, and have surprisingly high success rates based on matching their personalities. Don't let fear of rejection hold you back. You're going to get rejected. Learn not to be needy, so you don't show needy. Even if you have to fake it til you make it, tell yourself.. "I don't need this guy. There's plenty of guys. Millions of them. If he's not into me, his loss. Thousands of other guys would be thrilled to have me as theirs. I'm a prize, and if he can't see that, he doesn't deserve me." I don't think if you get a little more aggressive in pursuing a meet up in person it's going to come across as needy anyhow. Some guys are insecure about making the first move. They don't want to seem creepy, or needy themselves, so they don't know how to move the conversation from friendly to intimate, even though they really want to.. and at least if you show your hand, you'll force his hand, and get your answer one way or another.

Im 5' 7" - 5' 8". I've been with plenty of women. It's not your height.

@Daniel347 Not new at all. Of course, Leo has his own unique personal insights relevant to modern times, but even he will tell you that much of what he spends his time explaining in his own words has been known and discussed for thousands of years.

@ertopolice perhaps.. ask him. What have you got to lose?

There are no hard and fast rules that apply to every situation. You want a be with a hyper masculine guy who's going to take the lead, do that. If you want to take the lead, and make plans, initiate encounters, etc. with a guy who doesn't mind you taking that role, then do that. Do women generally prefer that the guy takes the lead? Seems that way. But is this ALWAYS the case? Not at all. Some women are gay, and don't even like men. Some women don't want a partner at all. Some women want to have relationships with several men at once.

@eaaaeaeae I'm not sure how 'don't get into relationships' is useful advice for someone already in a relationship. Money comes, money goes. I've had it all, lost it all, and got it all back.. I'm not afraid of divorce. It's great, actually. I'm glad it's an option for me. As I said, I have a good lawyer, and I know my rights. You act as if I'm the only one in my relationship who worked for what I have. She deserves half of what we both worked to build, even if I'm 'the victim'. But I don't see myself as a victim, at least not a victim of 'her behavior'.. I can only be taken advantage of to the degree I allow it. What am I a victim of? My own inability to create and maintain safe boundaries for myself? At least I can work on that. And sure, hormones go on that list as well. I'll travel back in time now and keep my hormones in check.

@Preety_India I'm not. I think there's chivalry and fake chivalry.

@Vzdoh absolutely. I'll gladly treat my date. I'll offer the burger and fries before she asks. I think the OP was referring specifically to situations where the girl asks for or expects 'treats and favors'. Open your own door, but if I pay attention to your actual needs and desires and fulfill those, I don't need fake chivalry, and you won't have to ask for treats. I expect the same in return. If I'm not fulfilled, it's my choice to leave, and I don't owe any other explanations. I offer you the same understanding. I won't ask you for shit. But I will appreciate what you offer.

@ertopolice sometimes it's a bit of a game of cat and mouse.. See what happens if you stop messaging him. If he's interested, this will drive him nuts and he'll message you. If you don't hear from him, he's not interested. Don't sweat it. There's thousands of fish in the sea. OR.. message him when you have something interesting to say. Keep things friendly, and who knows, over time, if it's right, it will turn into something more, if not, it won't, and in the meantime you can remain open to other possibilities.