Ulax

@HMD Hey dude, here is my perspective and recommendation. - Understand everyone has universal needs. - Understand everything you do, even in your own mind, is part of a personal needs meeting strategy. - Understand everything anyone else does is part of their personal needs meeting strategy. - Understand different life experiences and different biologies mean different people have different strategies for meeting their needs. And you are no exception. - Understand the strategies by which you meet your needs currently - Understand which stages you are at on spiral dynamics, and understand which stage the location you are in is at on the spiral - Understand how your life experiences shaped how your needs are being met - Understand what type of biology you have that affects your needs meeting strategies (I..e being ADHD versus being non-adhd) - Understand how your biology and thus need meeting strategies are being affected by current lifestyle, i.e. diet, food. - Apply the teachings of trustworthy mentors so as to change the unconscious needs meeting strategies into higher consciousness strategies Essentially, I think these tips can aid the raising of your consciousness and maybe that will help you move closer to your goal. Or maybe even the goal behind your goal.

I'd look into getting life purpose sorted and get into a depth psychotherapy

@Majed It would mean that you haven't fully integrated stage red. I'm not sure how to express it more specifically than that. Perhaps another user could help explaining it

@Majed Sounds to me like you have a stage red shadow.

@Tyler Robinson I'm feeling worn out, and I don't understand how to bring a sense of ease and amicability to our communications. So, I'm going to end my side of the discussion here.

@Tron You're welcome

Sure thing dude. I'll end my side of the discussion here. I enjoyed talking with you.

I'm picking up that you wanted more consideration of your views. Also, that you want better understanding of your views and the positive intentions you believe are behind them. Partly also because you believe that I saw your suggestion as bad, even though you were only trying to help through voicing the suggestion. Is that right? From my perspective, I was being sincere when I said contacting a moderator could be a useful solution regarding whether my comment is inappropriate. As maybe I am mistaken in thinking that I have communicated in a a respectful manner. I thought my suggestion of a moderation could be a harmonious way of resolving our different perspectives in a way that meant both of our views were considered in an equal and fair way. Also, reflecting on when you made your request, I didn't feel hostile after seeing it. I think its important to ensure that people are held accountable for the way they comment, and I don't think I'm an exception to that. Instead, I felt worried that I had indeed written in a way that could be classed as gaslighting. Its just that upon checking what I wrote I don't think it could be classed as gaslight. Does this make sense to you?

@Tron Okay sure. So my perspective is that every emotion we feel is an expression of a need. If we feel a positive emotion, then that is a result of a need having been met. If we feel a negative emotion, then that is a result of a need not being met. Further, all communications are an expression of a need as well; either its a result of a need being met or a need not being met. Actually everything we do is an expression of a need. Every person has the same set of needs. However, given our life experiences and biology we all develop different strategies for meeting our needs. So, through the lens of my perspective, it may have been that the lady, in saying what she said from the car to you, was trying to meet their need for significance, i.e. that she mattered. Maybe when she was young she learnt that the only way she could reliably meet her need to matter was by adopting the strategy of telling other people what to do. And, perhaps for you when you heard what that lady said to you, you felt dehumanised because your need for acceptance switched from being met to being unmet. Perhaps, when you were young a parental figure told you what to do in a similar kind of tone to that woman, and you believed they didn't accept you in that moment. So, you unconsciously learnt that when people talked to you in that way, that you were not acceptable. Returning to the idea of the person of the similar age to you in the same circumstance having a different reaction. That person may have felt compassion instead because they had a different life experience or biology. Perhaps, a parental figure never spoke to them in that tone, and they always felt accepted no matter what. Hence when the women speaks to them from the car there need to be accepted is still met. Hence, they instead guess at an understanding that the lady speaking from the car is trying desperately to meet a need to matter. And with that, the person meets a need for understanding which evokes the positive feeling of compassion. The above are all guesswork from me. What I'm trying to communicate is less about the exact need that is at play. Instead I want to communicate the idea that when trying to understand why people act in certain ways, its less important to think about what they say, and instead think about what need is being expressed. For example, when a person says, 'women power' in a jubilant and excited manner, its not really because of something inherent to 'women power'. Instead it is an example of people meeting a need. So, its really a celebration of survival. Hence, from my perspective, nothing is actually ever said that is personal towards someone else. Does this all make sense to you? I'm curious to hear your thoughts on it. ---------------------- If you want me to recommend a book, that provides a more in-depth understanding of this perspective, I can do so to. Would you like that?

As I read your comment, I felt frustrated because my desire to be understood isn't met. I'm not intending to communicate an invalidation of feelings or that someone's feelings are wrong. I understand you have a different perspective on that which you seem confident in. I would like to maintain harmony between us. A solution could be for you to contact a moderator, or report my posts as a means of getting a third party to decide whether my comments are inappropriate.

Sure man. Sounds like you're pretty assured that any guy would have thought she was acting stupidly but may have had a different level of response. As a side note, I think its important for me to note that I'm not intending to communicate that you were wrong to react, or feel the way you did. Or that another guy's potential reaction is better. I can tell you my perspective about what is at the cause of why you felt dehumanised. Would you like that?

Hi @Tyler Robinson. I don't believe what I've done amounts to gaslighting or is manipulative. It sounds to me like you don't trust that I'm acting out of a desire of contribution. Is that right? I understand you think that my intention is to change Tron's understanding of how he felt or get him to feel something different than he did in the moment. And that I am judging the dude. Perhaps you think that I am being respectful in my comments. Is that right? My intention is not to cause a change in feeling or to judge. My intention is to contribute by providing a perspective regarding why we feel as we do.

Okay. So you felt dehumanised. Do you think you felt dehumanised because of what she said? Or do you think you felt dehumanised because of how you interpreted what she said? Is it possible that if another guy your age experienced the same sort of communication in the same kind of circumstance, they could have had a different reaction? i.e. compassion, confusion, instead of a feeling of dehumanisation.

For those who want a stage Green+ perspective on Law, I'd recommend this book.

So you had a sense of being dehumanised?

So, when you heard the lady say what she said, in the tone you heard her say it in, you felt like she was trying to make you feel like you weren't acceptable?

Okay dude. I get you. So, to my understanding, you see the motivation for her behaviour as being to shame a man for pleasure later. Let's say that it is entirely accurate that that was her motivation. What do you think determines whether she gets pleasure from shaming men?

@Tron You're welcome. What do you think guides human behaviour? For example, what do you think guided the behaviour of the women in the car when she said what she said to you?

Okay. So, here's how I'm understanding what you've said. There are a lot of guys on YouTube who claim to be giving direction to men, but you don't trust that they are acting with integrity. Plus, you don't fully accept 'red pill truths' but you do accept some of what they say. You see good parts and bad parts to the women's equality movement. And something that you see as significantly wrong with the women's equality movement is inconsistency/ incoherence in what the movement asks for. One one hand you see women claiming that the equality means that women should be seen as independent from men, and that men shouldn't try to 'look after' women. On the other hand you have an experience of a woman claiming that equality means men should look after women. Which doesn't make sense to you, and leads you to conclude that the views of the women's equality movement are incoherent/ inconsistent. Hence, you find it confusing. When you talk about these inconsistencies you find that numerous people think you don't respect women. However, your confident that you do actually respect women, and have a a couple of examples which you give as evidence for this. Have I understood you correctly?

@Tron Is there anyone on YouTube that you find yourself agreeing with most of the time?

@Tron Who, if anyone, do you watch and agree with on youtube? Jordan Peterson?

@Alexop Hey dude, sounds to me like you want a trustworthy understanding of why the LGBT movement seems to take some of the viewpoints it does in very progressive countries, and whether this is healthy. I'll try and help you with that goal. Here are my recommendations: Firstly, if you're not familiar with the spiral dynamics model, I recommend studying it. Assuming you aren't familiar, here's a short intro to spiral dynamics: Secondly, if you find yourself as being aligned with many of the views of Jordan Peterson, I'm confident the 'making sense of Jordan Peterson' video on the actualized.org will help your goals. On another note, Leo, the guy who runs actualized.org, has various significantly longer videos on spiral dynamics. These can be found on the main actualized.org channel. If you want a deep understanding of the spiral dynamics model, I'd recommend watching and studying the content of those videos.

First off, I like the desire to grow dude. I'd recommend the following. Firstly, unless your already familiar with the form, I'd recommend getting a personal training session to get a really understanding of how to do the overhead press and Romanian deadlift. Plus any other compound exercise if i missed one. Secondly, I'd also research about what type of diet will support your goals. On the other hand, unless you want to stick to your own programme, I'd recommend you purchase or get access to a well regarded home workout programme instead. If you get a well regarded programme then I'm confident you'll avoid many of the mistakes that prevent people from getting results in this area.

@at_anchor Hiya, I felt moved reading your post. It sounds to me like you may have experienced abuse by people with personality disorders related to sociopathy and malignant narcissists. I can only imagine the depth of the effect that has had on you. I relate to what I see to be your experiences of humiliation and dehumanisation that came with those experiences. To my understanding, I have experienced abuse at the hands of multiple malignant narcissists myself. However, I will note that the extent or magnitude of how my experiences relate to yours I do not know. I personally do not, when acting consciously, judge suicide. And, to my mind, everyone who chooses the route of suicide has some reason, based on fulfilling some need of there's. Albeit, it may be that their perception of reality was very skewed such that that was the way they thought they could best meet that need. That said, I don't recommend you seriously consider suicide as an option for now. The way I think about it is that you have all of eternity to be dead. So why not stick around and see how it turns out. Experiment with different ways of approaching life and see how it works out. To my understanding, there are numerous people in the world today and throughout history who have dedicated their careers to trying to help people who find themselves in the type of situation you are in today. I don't think many people will be able to really comprehend the abuse that it sounds like has occurred to you. However, many of these mentioned people will comprehend. They will understand. And, some of them will be able to help you transform your life. I would recommend that you seek these people out. If you would like, I can recommend some mentors that I think could be of value to you.

I prefer Tao over God for the same reasons. But I giggle when I think of Leo exclaiming, 'I am the force!' in his awakening videos. Switching to actualized.org might help with the cult accusations against actualized.org though. Critics will just think we're a bunch of hardcore star wars nerds instead ?.