Ulax

When Leo finally makes a vid on IFS

jheez that's nuts! glad you're okay dude

@Max1993 Thank you bro. Congrats on your own accomplishments as well

@OBEler The oracle speaks

Understand complex ptsd

@Max1993 I had to escape from a life of persecution and abuse, and I've now made it out the other side. How about you?

Nice post

Can be helpful for getting a better understanding of the brutality of red imo.

IFS therapy, IFS therapy, IFS therapy

@Emotionalmosquito Have you looked into complex ptsd mate?

https://www.shinzen.org/nurture-positive/

To my understanding, procrastination can stem from self sabotaging that stems from unconscious feelings of shame.

Added in yoga nidra to my practice too. I think the embodiment is v useful. Also, I want to have one sesh of concentration meditation per day. Will make it a mantra one. So, currently my day will be broken into three practices: 1 - Mantra (30 mins) - Yoga nidra (10) - Mahasi Flow (60) 2 - Yoga nidra (10) - Mahasi Flow (60) - Conscious Mental Rest (30) 3 - Yoga Nidra (10) - Mahasi Flow (60) - Conscious Mental Rest (30) Have meeting with the final prospective IFS therapist tomorrow too. She is very well regarded so let's see. --- Actually I'm going to swap in counting meditation for the mantra one,

Dodson: "Be-Do-Have Levels below 200 are focused on " Having". All of life involves and surrounds what someone has and can get. Levels 200-450 revolve around "Doing". All this " Doing" is what built civilization as we know it. On levels 450-600 the persons focus is on "Being". It is not important what one owns (has), what one does (profession) but who one is (personality, energy-field). Lower-level consciousness thinks that the best method to achieve something is Do-Have-Be. "If I workout (do), then I have muscles (have) and then I'm respectable ( Be)". A much easier life begins with Being and then letting the actions naturally come from that Being which will eventually result in Having (this is described in detail in my book " Parallel Universes of Self") "

Think I've found the accompanying meditation I've been looking for. Gonna try doing 2 x 30 minute conscious mental rest, alongside the mahasi flow. Would total 5 hours per day. Have met with 3 different IFS therapists recently. One stood out to me, she was pretty hot as well lol - nice bonus hehe.

Getting some FAT ego backlash. Keep obsessing over getting revenge over perceived wrongdoers from the past. I even downloaded an ebook on ways to get revenge earlier lmao. Am working on getting my concentration practice sorted to deal with it. Dry insight practice is intense man, gotta make it wet. Am retrying a few of the practices I came up with during the fucked up times. Hopefully they should work in these lighter times.

Goat'd post

Think I'll add in a session of mantra meditation, using 'om sri rama jaya rama jaya jaya rama'. Like perhaps one 30 min session midday. I also ordered an xbox which im quite excited about. So, can just meditate, therapy and xbox for a while. Then when im ready I can get on with normie activities, i.e. life purpose, dating.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Complex_post-traumatic_stress_disorder

Man it is wild to be emotionally stable. I was so fucked up lmao. Pretty much borderline feral ahahaha. I laugh but fuck. I dunno how im still alive. Looking for ways to fill up my day now. I have my meditation stuff which is great and will plug in an ifs therapy sesh soon. Want to get into some kind of routine.

@Thought Art You got this bro

@Thought Art This might help: "As you consider the situation again, ask yourself, “Is it true that Paul doesn’t listen to me?” Be still. If you really want to know the truth, the honest yes or no from within will rise to meet the question as you recall that situation in your mind’s eye. Let the mind ask the question, and wait for the answer that surfaces. (The answer to the first two questions is just one syllable long; it’s either yes or no. Notice if you experience any defense as you answer. If your answer includes “because . . .” or “but . . . ,” this is not the one-syllable answer you are looking for, and you’re no longer doing The Work. You’re looking for freedom outside yourself. I’m inviting you into a new paradigm." ^ Quote above is from https://thework.com/instruction-the-work-byron-katie/, specifically the excerpt about the mind at home

Have continued with my practice. Have started having rather intense dreams. Including a couple intense nightmares, one was particularly terrifying. Both I woke up from screaming my lungs out too. Have selected a level 3 IFS therapist I want to work with now too. With all the meditative gains it should be much more seemless re IFS.

Am going to add in some centering prayer after the mahasi flow stuff. Am thinking about potentially switching therapists yet again. Things are so much easier now im out of dissociation. And with that my needs have changed. I was looking for some Somatic experiencing help for the dissociation, but now I'm more interested in a combination of Somatic experiencing and IFS. But we'll see. Am going to work on my internet addiction too. It should be much easier now to deal with now. And should make it much easier to day to day tasks. Though I wonder what might come up. I might do some AA 12 step type stuff as well. Am also thinking of self studying for a sociology exam too. But I think mainly I need to work on getting some sort of routine going and working on the addiction. My mind is so good at rationalizing or dismissing my addiction.

Another 6 hours of mahasi flow put in today.