Ulax

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First, I'd try and crack mindfulness meditation. Find a variety of types of mindfulness meditation, and try to experiment with them until you find one that works. Ie mahasi method, kenneth folks work, shinzen young, Dan Ingrams work. Second, also depth psychotherapy (ones that work on changing your unconscious) , i.e. IFS therapy, psychodynamic therapy, gestalt. Can also do somatic therapies like somatic experiencing, TRE. Finally, you can look into psychological 'wiping' tools. These sort of clean out negative memories/ emotions. Examples of these include PSTEC click tracks, and EMDR. Heard yoga is also good.

Rest in peace

Have you tried Shinzen young's see hear feel method?

@MsNobody IFS therapy. Can also look into ideal parenting protocol https://www.reddit.com/r/idealparentfigures/comments/vl27y9/introduction_to_the_ideal_parent_figure_method/. Imo, always good to deal with the root of the issue.

@Ampresus https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=StBTuX0tqU8&t=44s&pp=ygUTc2hpbnplbiB5b3VuZyBub3Rpbg%3D%3D (video) https://www.shinzen.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/SeeHearFeelIntroduction_ver1.8.pdf (pdf guide)

Meditation.

On the meditation front, Shinzen Young's see hear feel meditation guide could be helpful I think. The technique should help better than your current one atm. Also, can try: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1W30oR1UDBI&pp=ygUTa2VubmV0aCAgZm9sayBiYXNpYw%3D%3D

I guess you can give it a go and see how you like the experience of running an onlyfans. You can hypothesize about what the pros and cons are but you won't really know until you have direct experience of it.

Only focusing on the surface issue, rather than addressing the root of the problem

Kindle paperwhites are great imo

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Could be limerence rather than attachment.

Next time just start whispering "JK Rowling, JK Rowling, JK Rowling" and see how she reacts

Could try some trauma release exercises (TRE)

Dude, you have all of eternity to be dead. Why not just stick around and see how this plays out? You never know for sure what could happen.

Great

Happy birthday legend!

@Ayham I used to have a serious internet addiction. So, using see-hear-feel on videos was kinda helpful. Not sure re behavioral change.

If you learn shinzen young's see hear feel meditation method, you can meditate whilst watching anything. So even something low consciousness you are watching can become high consciousness

People just don't get how truly fucked up severe mental illness is. I don't necessarily endorse assisted suicide but I can understand the motivation.

Evidence? Self-deception. Drawing wrong conclusions from data. Social desirability bias.

@Princess Arabia With respect, its not really, or at least shouldn't be, a question listening to men over women. Its about listening to people who have direct experience going through a certain learning process. If you haven't gone through the learning process of getting good at something, then how can you competently teach/ advise people on how to improve at that something? Women haven't gone through the learning process of being a man getting attractive with women, so how can they competently teach it?* Its the same as if some dude, who has never significantly improved his dating skills, tries to advise on how to improve male dating success with women. His advice is severely limited because he hasn't gone through the learning process himself. (* Slight exception if someone spends a lot of time going through the learning process of coaching how to get good at a certain something.)