Ulax

@Yoremo Congrats on the speech! And, let us know how the start to therapy goes. We're with you dude. Regarding toxic relationships, Dr Ramani is a great starting point. Her Youtube videos online are great. Regarding life circumstances, I'm not sure what to recommend. Also, I'd watch Leo video on mindfulness meditation, and do the, 'see, hear, feel' type of meditation. For whatever reason, I feel like we're on a similar wavelength. And see, hear, feel meditation does wonders for me. I think its incredible. Also, if you happen to have a really vulnerable moment, i.e. suicidal or something, 'see, hear, feel' has been wonderfully useful imo. One thing with doing meditation whilst having trauma is I would consider doing open-eyed meditation. It may make you feel safe enough for your mind to relax enough for meditation to be useful and a bit easier. Hope it helps chief

If I were to hazard a guess, I'd say its because you've got some deep rooted trauma. I'd look into a depth psychotherapy, which it sounds like you're doing. I'd learn about toxic relationships and life circumstances too.

@Bob Seeker Julien's stuff is broader than PUA stuff these days

I'd go watch, 'Why rationality is wrong'.

Go to a depth psychotherapy, i.e. IFS therapy, or psychodynamic therapy, for a long period of time. That'll give you the long-term change you really want. I would guess that your fear of not being liked comes from a conditional love relationship between your parent and you.

Machine Gun Kelly - In These Walls

It sounds to me like there's a lack of boundaries in the household. I mean the poor dude has to share a room with grandma at 13. Seems like he's lacking a lot of privacy, which is an important thing for children. If he has no place that is his own, then anywhere he jacks off is innapropriate.

@Yoremo You want someone who uses IFS as their main mode of treatment imo. I've heard its easy to like read a book about it, and then put it on your therapist profile as one of your areas of ability. I'd drop them an email and ask how much training they've done with IFS.

I'd advise taking some L-Theanine with your coffee. Perhaps, some ashwagandha too.

@BipolarGrowth I'm gonna check out your channel

Thing is these sorts sayings could be attributed to stage blue, green or turquoise on spiral dynamics. Blue: You can be moralistic about spirituality, i.e. all you need is love = you should be loving all the time. Green: You can be accepting of people and feel peace and love in a stage green sense Turquoise: Enlightenment sense of all you need is love. To my mind, a lot of spirituality that is espoused is more stage blue than green. Stage blue espousals of this sort of things are like when someone says, 'You shouldn't judge!'. With the irony being that they are of course judging in that very sentence.

I feel a big change from one session of it. Its not main my main source of healing though.

@Hardkill Ye I watched Todd's breakdown of this clip in one of his programmes. He was trying to see how long he could stay in set for. I disliked that he did this, as although I get its useful to do situations like this, it really disrespected the girls. Thing is though shit like this is always going to look weird and fucked up through the lens of a non-pua. A common thing in PUA is just practicing handling adverse experiences. You might do a set where you just give one word answers to everything she says, or a set where you don't ask any questions. One I like is to stay until she tells you to leave or says she doesn't want you there anymore. Like Leo says premature ejection is such an issue for beginner guys. Being able to handle tension is sexy af, and so fucking helpful in life.

@Bernardo Carleial He kind of did one on that:

@Javfly33 Sounds reasonable. Hell try it out for a year and then you can always move somewhere cheaper

@ShardMare Trauma Release Exercises. The ones by David Berceli. Also, I don't think Elliot Hulse is a very healthy mentor to use

Go join the r/pickup discord server, and you'll be well rewarded. Just be aware of the large amounts of toxicity from users on that server

@isabel Is this an enlightenment thing? If it is I get what you're saying, but its a common trap with enlightenment thinking. Sure if you're enlightened you'll be okay, but you're not, and the pain and suffering will be very real to you. ----------------------------------------------------------------- It sounds like your psyche is using this as a means of dissociating from the pain in your life. I've done that myself

Hi guys, I'm working hard, and putting in time o my lovingkindness meditation practice. I would like some reassurance from members of the forum regarding this. I'd particularly like to hear people talk about the long-term benefits they have gained from doing the practice. I don't want to receive comments about how I ought to generate this reassurance myself, or how there is little value to this practice. Thanks in advance.

@The0Self TWIM?

I'd consult some trauma-informed mental health professional professional about this

@catcat69123 That everything I do/ think is worthy of love. It was of a 'knowing' than a 'Knowing'. As in I intellectually believe that. Working on that becoming my state of mind now. What's yours OP?

@Timothy Okay, not quite what I was after. But, nonetheless, I'm curious. How would you compare being in a state of self-love to being in one of more self-loathing?

Fuck man. That's a tough situation. One thing I'd say is that it is not your responsibility to manage her emotions. It is her responsibility. Even if she feels uncomfortable, that is on her to deal with. Your responsibility is simply not to escalate where you can reasonably ascertain that she doesn't want you to. Which doesn't sound like that was the case. I think Yarco's advice is pretty much spot on.

@Nightwise I like what you say. However, I would stay away from Hulse. Dude is toxic imo. Jocko Willink would be a healthier example. He's more psychologically integrated than those two imo.