Roy

It was the first thing you said after quoting me, so it looked like you were making my girlfriends experience analogous to yours that she was also "worn down" into consenting. Apologies, it's hard to interpret intention through text sometimes.

I'm sorry you had to go through that. I also don't appreciate the subtle insinuation that I extorted consent out of my girlfriend. You don't know anything about me.

I see your perspective. Most romance (I'd say) goes with sex, but not all sex goes with romance. I think this whole thing would be easier to talk about if everyone was just clear and communicated with each other exactly what they want. A lot of issues come up when that isn't done because a disconnect arises and people don't understand each others intentions, and get confused/angry when they behave in a way they don't expect.

I didn't attempt to paint "all" of them as children, just the ones who don't know when to stop and go home, and look like children as a consequence. Notice how your suspicion and assumption about my possible intentions to paint "all" anti-vax/mandate people as one way or the other is a projection of your own attitude towards the subject being a black and white, us vs them situation. You can try to pull me into your game, good try, but I'm not going to play it. This is irrelevant. Ethnicity has nothing to do with it. It has to do with behavior. I don't care how many of the protesters are hooded black men waving glocks, or fat white rednecks waving .22 caliber rifles, that means nothing to me. What matters is the ideology, what narrative they support, and what actions they are willing to take (or not). There may be some statistical correlation between certain religious/ethnic groups and political identity, but that isn't the factor we need to prioritize. In fact it's kind of useless and just serves as fuel and talking points for racists. Not saying you're racist at all by the way, I assume if you're on this forum you're a well intended person. I'm saying "right-wing" because it's abundantly clear from their talking points and attitudes in on the ground interviews that label is appropriate. I'm not calling them right-wing because the overwhelming majority of them happen to be white lol.

Hey I love romance too ! It's just not where this guy is seems to be at right now based on what he's said.

lol that means nothing. Saying, "I'm on my period" doesn't count as her saying no. You want her to literally say, "We are not having sex right now." THAT is what no means. THEN you hard stop, respect her boundary, and stop pushing for it completely. When she says, "I'm on my period." the only response you should give is "So?" then say you don't mind and you'll use a condom. @Leo Gura I had a girlfriend last year where I spent the night at her place. We were headed to bed, but before we went to sleep I started coming onto her, she said she was too tired to have sex. I said alright that's fine and we tried to sleep. 30 mins went by and we couldn't fall asleep because of the weather (it was summer/noAC) so I started to go down on her and fucked her, she obviously changed her mind without saying anything because she loved it and got her energy back and didn't turn me down at all. As guys it's our responsibility to take initiative and be forward about going after what we want. This doesn't mean get it at ALL costs. You push for boundaries to see where they are set but when you see them, you have the integrity to respect them. The difference between a healthy masculinity and "rapey" vibes is pushing and having the awareness and social skill to recognize where boundaries are and exercising self-control and integrity. As for the second girl @Anon212, it sounds like she wants a relationship and not for you to just pump her and leave. So if you just want one night stands you should show some respect and not waste her time and move on. I don't know exactly what you want though so that's up to you. It sounds like she is giving you a good opportunity for a relationship which means consistent sex, not just spotty times where you may or may not being someone home from a club.

It's certainly a dilemma. If you were 100% radically honest with no filter, it would probably feel really good and freeing in a way. You might find certain people respect you more and will likely lend you there trust more easily. However there are social consequences and costs to being perfectly honest. Not only to yourself but to others. Sometimes it's actually ethical to lie (or withhold information) in order to spare needless suffering, typically around children or in other circumstances where there is nothing to be gained or damage to be caused from the truth. Sometimes in order to advance your own career or interests you will have moments where being honest will damage you, it's inevitable if you want to get anywhere. There is no right or wrong answer I believe, it's way too tricky. It will be up to you to use your own judgement about how you want to live in the world and what costs you value more than others. I recommend you read the book "Lying" by Sam Harris. It covers this topic quite well and it's a short read at less than 100 pages I believe. I have made a commitment sometime ago to be more brutally honest at the cost of protecting my own reputation and the results have actually been positive so far in some respects, I find I am able to connect to people on a deeper level. It also depends on the kind of people you want to attract in life. If you lie all the time and manipulate others, you will fall to have company who also do the same. Conversely if you uphold ethics and being honest at all costs you'll attract people who will see that and also want the same.

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. That's the problem with the right-wing leaning freedumb types, they reach and reach and reach and reach and reach into the cookie jar. Then when they finally get their hand slapped they go, "SEEEEEE!!! Look tyranny!" You know who operates under the same mentality? Children. They are upset about the rules, mandates and lockdowns. Maybe things weren't done perfectly, that's a fair criticism, but some sort of position had to be taken, and things were going to suck no matter what to some degree. The reality is if the Conservatives were in charge during this pandemic many many more people would have died, and ironically the responses that would have had to be taken to respond would have damaged the economy more than anything that's been implemented so far. If you study Spiral Dynamics or history in general it won't take long for you to notice things inevitably develop towards the left and NOT the right. That's not a coincidence. It's because left leaning worldviews are fundamentally more holistic and cognitively apt. They are able to have a greater range of things to consider and therefore plan accordingly, even if it's unpopular or counterintuitive.

Unless you have some sort of future there, don't bother to pour too much of yourself into that place. Improve your performance if you want to, but only do it if it directly benefits you. Exploit them as much as you can materially and to pad your resume. They won't hesitate to do the same to you, and don't be under any illusions otherwise. 95% of business owners and leadership for companies don't view their employees as human, simply as tools at their disposal. It's a rare thing to have a good boss that compensates, rewards, and incentivizes it's workers. It's a harsh reality of how most humans organize work.

It wouldn't lmao. That's why our biological and cultural evolution has developed us to have an internal bias against polyamory. That's not an accident. I'm not making a moral judgement on if it's right or wrong here by the way, just a statement. I'm sure it's quite possible for some unusual proto-communal society to exist where women are get indiscriminately impregnated and the children are getting raised in some sort of tribal fashion by everyone in the local group contributing to raising them in some way. Either taking turns or having different specific roles. Even as a thought experiment it's hard to imagine though since all that change sounds incredibly destabilizing for a child, when stability is the most important factor in developing in a healthy way from what I understand. Personally I think the current rise of extreme exploration and liberalization of sex, through polyamory, transitioning, etc. has a lot of similarities to the "gluttony" phase at the end of the Roman Empire. We live in such a hedonistic, free, and decadent time that it's not a coincidence all these things are happening now, and not 100 years ago. I'm not against any of it it by the way. Maybe history won't repeat itself it's hard to say, but if birth rates inevitably plummet and we are doomed to the collapse of civilization all over again just like the Romans, I'm ALL for everyone having a good time and us fucking in each in every which way until the end

It's not that it's as good, but it's a decent approximation to real pussy. So if a young guy who is a virgin gets a hold of one and they don't have the real thing to compare it to it might just reinforce them not to go out and socialize. This is why most sex shops don't let minors in.

"No it's a danger meeting ;P" "Depends, are you going to attack me?" "It will be a FUN meeting, lets.... (then suggest something exciting for a date)." "Ok friendly meeting, but just so you know I kiss all my friends. Even the guys." RISKY but could work. This all depends on the frame you've set with your humor, I don't know the details besides what you've shared. This is the kind of way I'd respond, and it usually works for me. Advice provided without warranty

Not all girls are like this, there are some that are the complete opposite of this chick. You just have to play the field. You'd be surprised about the kind of people out there. The simplest advice I can give you is don't let a few experiences (and they will happen one day) get in your head and cause you to make sweeping judgements. It's very easy to get caught up in a trap of bitterness after someone does something shitty to you where you think, "What is her fucking problem? Why are women like this?" There may be some similar traits, characteristics, and behaviors that are consistent among a lot of women. Just remember to evaluate each person you meet in a vacuum as an individual.

If you are getting a lot of matches online, you have a great opportunity to improve by practicing. Say a bunch of different stuff, try things out. Even if it's out of character or not your personality. Dating apps are low investment, so start throwing darts at the board and see what sticks. What's the worst that can happen? You get unmatched, so what? Just don't sexually harass them, but start firing away!

You said this is taking up a lot of your mental energy. Be careful. These kind of things are a drain just like conspiracy theories. They are completely out of our control anyways, and serve no purpose. Unless this is your actual job to be involved in politics, and your bills being paid depends on you knowing about it, you are wasting your time and distracted from more important things in your life.

I would say it's asking questions one probably already knows the answer to, if they just tried to do it themselves. Instead people asking stupid questions don't attempt that first, they are lazy and basically looking for someone to tell them what to think.

Yea milk and dairy is terrible for your skin, it's an inflammatory. No more milk is great. Lemon water is probably benign, but I'd be even more purist and get rid of that too. I would take some pictures of your acne once a week when only drinking water, the visible improvements will be motivating for you

What liquids do you consume? I would suggest strictly limiting yourself to just water for a few weeks, to see what that does to your skin. I imagine it would help a lot. This means no flavored water either, straight from your tap into a filter preferably. Changing your food consumption would probably help, but that will be a much more difficult and gradual change to commit too. The change in drinking habits is much easier to implement, so it's a good place to start.

I hate to be that guy, but it's quite possible they could be on an extreme opioid overdose in conjunction with meditation, with the self-immolation. I'm a firefighter, the damage/pain fire and chemical burns can inflict on a person is..... unsavory to say the least. It's hard to imagine a state where someone could transcend or detach from that, but I am open minded. I'd like to believe there is something more going on there.

Does he really need to make that explicit, are people really not aware of that possibility? He is the owner and creator of the website, like any other administrator he is going to have full access to all the data. Just like Facebook, Reddit, or text providers, they will be able to look into anything they want to. It's not like there is some magical barrier they can set up for themselves not to be able to see private messages. Like if a crime was committed, how do they think police are able to gather evidence? I'd be amazed if it's that common expectation that people have of things being hidden. That's quite naïve.

How does this relate to moderators? I feel I've been pretty lax about handing out points, yet there are more times than I can count on my fingers where people are obviously not here to learn or try at all. They continuously ask dumb questions, or want to just repeat the same things without engaging in new information being given to them. It gets in the way of helping the people that are here to actually improve their lives. They may not consciously or intentionally be trying to be disruptive, but the damage is all the same. How do we respond effectively to that? Of course I also need to reflect and improve my own posting too.

If you've never had a girlfriend or can't get yourself one within let's say, a month of effort. Then you don't deserve to get a fleshlight, it's a bad idea because you'll get addicted to it and use it as a replacement for doing the work of obtaining a girlfriend. That's the problem with sex toys is they are becoming so good and lifelike that it's dangerous for young inexperienced people to get a hold of them. Why would they ever do the work of hitting big milestones in life like getting laid if they can just stay home? On the other hand if you DO know how, then it can be a great tool that will tie you over for the inevitable downtime in-between relationships. If sex is 10/10, then a fleshlight is about 7 or 8.

There is nothing wrong with porn, or even using it a lot. It's good to release that energy. The problem is if you're using it in place of being able to have sex with someone else. So yeah if you're using it because you don't have the skill to get laid, be honest with yourself about it and quit porn until you can.