Roy

He was doing it for free for years, he only started to charge because he wanted to make it his full time job.

I messaged him over the phone yesterday, not impossible, but very likely he's never coming back. Would you?

I wanted to hold my tongue today, but I can't, it's fucking insufferable. I am extremely disheartened by some of the comments and negativity I've seen in this thread. To see this kind of treatment towards one of the largest, most positive cornerstones of this community is about as surprising as it is disappointing. I guess the meat brings out the wolves though. Perhaps my expectations of this place are too high.

Click on your name in the top right, then go to "account settings", it's in there.

Represent.

I will say my two cents on Nahm's coaching. He always told me exactly what I needed to hear, the x-factor being whether or not I was truly ready to digest it. It wasn't until some months or a year later went by in some cases, where I would contemplate again and have my mind fucking blown away.

This is not what I expected to wake up to.... Nahm is one of the wisest and purist people I've ever met, and has helped me more than I can repay. That exchange with Leo via PM looks a little odd, that he would insist on using such language when confronted about it. I've talked to him several times via zoom/phone, and his communication style there is very easy going, peaceful, and understandable. I'm not sure why the contrast between that style and the style of his text is the way it is, only he can answer that and I respect him not to make assumptions or false conclusions about that choice, whether deliberate or not. I do understand why it can be frustrating for newer people and those not familiar with him, not understanding what he is talking about sometimes. To explain or talk about spirituality and other esoteric concepts there seems to be an additional layer of language needed, which is not common in most mainstream cultures around the world. The problem is text is just inherently limiting, and it's easy to misinterpret a message, an emotional state, or someone's intention. We can all work on our communication, at the very least to hold it back from being destructive. Everyone has their way of bringing their perspective to the table. All I'll say on the matter is while somewhat cryptic, I believe Nahm's messages largely innocuous and of loving intent. In the future I hope there is a moment where these two bridges can be built together again.

If you are going to see her again, make sure you plan something fun. DO not bring up what happened unless she seriously presses you on it, even then just try to brush it off casually. Pretend you don't even remember. Don't give her a reason to feel anxious or self conscious, and she'll feel safe. You should be able to close with this frame. Good luck!

Low quality.

Oh definitely I had my phase as well but moved through it a while ago, I'm still subbed on YouTube but I'll be honest I don't even watch his videos anymore lol. I can't even remember the last one I watched, I think it was, "The Trap of the Toxic Life Purpose"? not sure. Whenever that came out around that time I stopped watching. I just like sticking around the forum for the community and because I love you guys

I also agree marriage is incredibly overrated and the cons outweigh the pros (for men), I don't need the gubberment to validate how committed I am to my partner.

Great! You'd be surprised. Don't let your presence in self-help communities give you rose-colored glasses. A lot of "normie" men are incredibly shallow. They just want to get their dick wet, first and foremost. I think you are misinterpreting my post too narrowly. I made it short and hip-fired because it was in response to a very simple thread. I don't think my theory is that dumb, let me explain. Of course (the majority) of guys don't want a girlfriend just for the physical/sex aspect, but it's a significant factor. Let's just be casual and make up some numbers and divide them evenly to illustrate what I meant to get at, but maybe didn't explain in that short post. There are usually a few groupings of vague reasons that a guy will want a girlfriend; - Pragmatic, Financial, Logistical (sharing resources, buying a home with someone, having someone to drive you around, take care of you when sick, etc.) - Friendship, Interpersonal, Emotional Support, Intimacy (having someone to do things with, cheerlead you in career, listen to your struggles, accept you in a deeper way than friends typically can) - Sex, Physical Pleasure, Family Creation (steady supply of sex which is a base need, the benefits of physical connection for stress relief, having someone to potentially create a baby with) I definitely missed some things but those are the basic groupings off the top of my head for what I think most guys think when they think of having a girlfriend/wife/partner. Now different guys will value different groups, but for the sake of simplicity let's say the average of all preferences makes each one an even 33%. So if a guy is getting 25% of those things met by himself, or whatever number, a significant number, through sex toys, porn, and so on. Don't you agree that will take away from the urgency or willpower to face their demon and do the work on their of social/relationship skills? That's kind of what I'm getting at, I hope you understand my POV from what I said here. The more things that help men avoid and distract them from their issue, the worse off they'll be. That's why sex toys getting better and better is kind of dangerous for them, because they become pseudo-replacements for the real thing. If you do some research there is an alarming problem in Japan with this. Their country is basically rotting from cripplingly low birth rates, a crisis of intimacy because of technological dependence, toxic culture of overworking etc. It's pretty messed up if you learn about it. They have such an unusually open post-liberal relationship with sex, you can see the consequences of moving past tradition too fast. It's a breeding ground for super-incels. I actually understand now why there is an obsession with Japanese culture now from incels and weebs online, and why their behaviors are barreling towards imitating them so much lol.

Look, it's bullshit and the game is rigged against guys. But when you do finally get the girl you will forget about all the sludge and barbed wire you had to crawl through to get there, trust me.

What do you mean haha.

I don't know why you're pursuing girls, I wasn't quoting you.

CARRY ON SOLDIER.

Are you trying to get a girlfriend or just closing for sex to get practice? Because you don't have to kiss or make out on the first date if you want a girlfriend, it's not a requirement. A first date can be chill and casual, then you escalate on the second.

A brutal pill you will have to tackle is it mostly being a numbers game. Out of 100 girls you approach you might get 20 numbers, out of those 10 numbers you will get 5 dates, out of those 5 dates 1-2 of them will want to see you again and give you a chance for a relationship. Most people just aren't compatible with each other. You might have sex and do fine in the early stages, but a lot of times it probably won't work past that. Just getting laid is a lot easier than getting laid AND having something stick around. Another thing is being realistic with your standards. The pick-up community tends to preach a delusion about the quality of girls you should do the work on. It's great for building confidence and to have high standards, but you're going to stack the odds against you and severely limit results if you start your journey only going for women out of your league. And even if you get laid you won't be able to hold onto them, which is what you say you want (girlfriend). If you are only going for hot women, don't be surprised when they filter you out among the tons of competition you're facing. You might just not be in the top % of guys yet, that's ok. It takes a long time to develop. In the meantime be honest about where your standards are and don't be too picky. The key to getting a girlfriend is having an interesting life where you are consistently engaged in hobbies, you want to advertise to them "Hey, I'm doing this cool stuff constantly. You're invited to experience it with me if you want." But send that message in a way where you don't need them to come along. Don't feel like an oddball because of your age, I didn't have my first "proper" girlfriend until I was 25, and that part of my life has exploded since then.

Sorry.

These kind of situations are extremely tricky and ripe for abuse and manipulation. Tread lightly and consider yourself warned. I think gestures like this are OK when they are sparse and if someone is legitimately going through an emergency, but watch out for how often it's happening and the reasons behind it. If she keeps asking over and over again, one of the times consciously withhold what she is asking for to test her. Her reaction should reveal a lot about what's really going on.

Reality has divided us in two (male<>female). Both are looking to merge together again and be in union, two pieces of a puzzle trying to complete a picture. The problem is we fundamentally disagree about how those two different pieces are supposed to fit together, and what angle makes the picture. One wants it this way, one thinks its another. So here we are, arguing

Ask higher quality questions, and especially not ones you can easily answer yourself.

Yes they do, and while that purpose may seem noble it's also misguided and stupid. We don't have unlimited freedom, we never have. Nobody can just do whatever they want, there is an ongoing capacity on how we are allowed to behave in society. If you want actual freedom buy a plane ticket and go live in Liberia, I hear it's great there.

You aren't mature or nuanced enough to have this discussion if you think she is conflating violent rape with just being uncomfortable and not being able to say no because of lack of assertiveness. She literally said she felt unsafe and you're invalidating that with your language. Yes it's her responsibility to say "no" verbally, but just because it's the logical answer doesn't make it "simple" in your words. It may not technically be legal rape but just because it doesn't check a box in a courtroom it doesn't take away from her experience of being violated. Yes she consented, but that guy also should have been able to read her signals and come to a point where he asks HER if she wants to have sex. When you're with a woman who is extremely feminine and timid, you have to do a bit of the legwork for her. Too bad. You don't just get to take advantage, and then wave off the fact you're taking advantage because they aren't a good at negotiating. It takes two people to have sex, it's not a binary of one making the decision or the others. You have to discover the boundary together sometimes. It's never "simple". If things were "simple" we wouldn't be having this discussion in the first place. The issue is the word "rape". It does too much legwork. Violated or exploited are better words for the lower end of the rape spectrum.