Keyhole

Nigredo, demons, evil - chaos, comes in through agreement. They have to make an agreement with you. You invite evil of your own free will. With each like or dislike, what you watch, accepting cookies, accepting it into your life, ect... these things are contracts. "He" sneaks his way in through these things... I am learning. I can see it. "Evil" or "death" is nuanced, it is a shaded dark space in the real world. Within certain things. I see that I needed to fall completely to come to see this, I was blind to it. I am seeing that understanding the nuance of evil, all of its shades, is important in understanding polarity. Something is teaching me, but I don't know who or what it is. I can "see" its consciousness sometimes, as well as others that seem creepy. There might be more than one being here, then. My "teacher" has instructed that to clear my karma I offer this advice and an apology to the girl that I was cruel to. I am sorry for my cruelty. I'm a deranged, possessed, terrified, stupid, inhibited, blocked, selfish, greedy, lazy human. But I am learning from it and want to offer some advice that can help to neutralize this evil and might help you on your own path. Here is what it is: Get comfortable with seeing and understanding evil and death in a very nuanced way. Never allow a polarity to keep you stuck. This is a game of neutralizing evil, the whole purpose of life is to come to see it and navigate in it and grow yourself this way. So for instance, if you are working on yourself creatively, and someone who is bound by evil complains about you growing - this is actually a sign of alignment and a test to keep moving forward. And it can happen each time you grow - because forces in the universe can be predatory, and they want to keep you stuck and a low level. Think of evil as a mold, or a dimension that infects other people, and see it for what it is. It will have a "lag" to it, like such: It is important to keep going and work on yourself in the face of such things no matter what, and not to let it drag you down, because this is how the game is played. Entropy will "activate" when you grow to pull you down in your environment. You can depersonalize evil and just see it for the virus in the system that it is. If you are able to not let it get a hold of you, and see it with courage - it can't become a part of you if you don't let it attach to you - the intent of "NO", from your heart can banish evil, but it is like mending a wound or curing a disease, it takes maintenance and vigilance. Try an experiment on it - see if things in your environment that want to keep you stuck, see how this plays out and interacts with you when you start to grow and improve yourself. You'll notice that it bleeds through in perception. Challenge it. These things try to get hold over those who are weak or innocent. When you do this for yourself it will neutralize evil in the outer world, not just in yourself. http://maryshutan.com/darkness-spirit-and-the-feminine/ ^ This is a fantastic article on this You have a good sight, and I can see that you are naturally intuitive and the fact that you get sick easily means you will be able to pick up on these energies easier. Also important because they can come through in this way, like what happened with me. It comes in between the lines of shapes, like - if you disidentify with the words and labeling of things, and sit in a heart centered space and gaze - how your energy moves - up or down, can help to gauge this. ^ Like so, a good instructional Seeing and working with the darkness is the key to authentic magick. If you go through your own process, start to finish, mindful that forces will want to pull you down - that this is the law of polarity, then you can transform your energy and you will "blossom", which is what the universe wants for its creations. It is kind of cold, in that it does not care if you are innocent or guilty, all that matters is moving up from downward, stagnant energy. The "grade" that you get depends on understanding this. Don't let forces of evil, such as what is in myself to intimidate you or alter your course in life - that's what evil tries to do. You can gauge where you are at by walking up to Death with your heart open and looking at the colours: black, red, yellow and white, and seeing how it intuitively speaks to you. Consciousness will sort of beam through this - you can follow the signs of it to get an idea. P.S., I am a multidimensional entity living a lot of different lives, you could be one of them or perhaps in the same soul cluster, thus the similarities. This would explain why the dark energy came back around to me - because I essentially did it to myself or someone on my team - and because consciousness determined that without seeing it - I was blind to it in my environment, as it turns out I was moving in the wrong direction before that - and so it rerouted things and gave me a "heads up" into what would happen if I don't change. It is possible that this was planned out in advance to make me, and others more aware of this virus. We have soul cords, that can be chewed on, by predatory things. To disconnect you from others. The solution is always to stand against it. No matter what. If someone like me bitches at you, let them. View it as Nigredo desperately trying to hold onto a soul that doesn't belong to it. Because that is what it is. If you let it into you, then it will chew on your cord over time and redirect your life path in the wrong way. It is kind of a bit of a mindfuck, but it's the truth. When you start to get aligned and to wake, these things will want to drag you down, the system doesn't want you to break free. That goes against it's motives. Do it anyways. It is like an evolutionary code in our DNA to move up or down. And that's it. That's how you're judged, from the context of what religions speak of. And there is a switch there, you can activate certain areas in your system by moving up. This will affect you in your next life, so don't be afraid to do what is best for you. "February is black history month" PIT OF BABEL - Brutal Game Where You Grind Cute "Creatures" To Build A Tower To The Heavens... that will inevitably crumble See? Randomly clicked on a certain timestamp, this happens to be a channeled message: "We are a consciousness of cells that is denied the community our components possess. With perfect communication, there is no barrier between you and me - there is no misunderstanding, no need for lies or confusion. There is no self. How else could this stone tangle so elegantly, organically and yet remain so robust? The work of countless brilliant organisms? This was the work of a lost organism, the organism made in our Gods image. Humanity."

"Life is about making an impact, not making an income." I tried to remove the demon, or... whatever it was last night. I believe it emanated from my drawing. This dude. I think my art, coupled with everything else that I've brought into my life made a prime window for it. I am not good with determining the moral alignment of beings yet, I am learning that I leave a layer of idealism over everything. So I took it, set it on the chest so I could stare at it face-to-face, and waved incense in front of the spot while keeping this on - to see how the energy would emanate - and it twisted and wound up and took on a black, inky, blubbery, shiny look and I could sense extreme annoyance. I used my intention and cast it out, with strong resolve. "You cannot stay." I looked it in the face. And then pealed it off as best I could to redo something with the sun. I couldn't get rid of the eyes, they were stuck on, so I painted over it with white and I think, artistically, this could have something to do with working through/battling the Nigredo, as Albedo comes next. So now is a white circle where the face used to be with the outline of a red sun. When I painted over it I said, looking in the eyes, "NO IDOLS." When I set it back in place, I felt super charged from the experience - full of strong resolve. I realize seeing the Nigredo like this is to remind me that life is a game, you you have to remember the law of the universe. And I respect it for that. My artwork took on what felt to be a "dark aurora" sort of vibe to it. It looked so alive, but it was MINE, and I felt as though I had reclaimed my project. Well, as soon as I did this I got onto my computer and the first few syncs showed up - this verified to me the presence of this being, because it was giving me signs for what I had just done in the real world. I had not written anything up for the algorithms to work with. I clicked dislike on the song to indicate that I don't agree with the arrangement anymore. I feel as though such things wheedle their way into your consent. And then these two: When I woke up this morning... I went to my online weed store to buy some weed - l went to "concentrates" - the alarm rang on my comp, it was 11:11 and the number of items was 666. So I left the store, to think on the signs of that. Perhaps returning to the weed for now is what does it, or to concentrate on removing this energy, or that I have a concentration of it. And then this... This... And then to return to the weed store to close the page... "We use cookies to improve your experience - By continuing you agree to our privacy policy and terms of use." Finished off with a pop-up - "Promises"... "Wolf - Ghost" and this Next to it... "There's two sides to every story" Did I do something wrong.... oops... I think I am starting to understand Nigredo in a very intimate way... That may be so... You must not fight Nigredo, but come to understand it as a messenger. It is a call to confessional. A beacon towards self honesty. I'm in the game. The fight for Albedo. From now on I will not use an image when worshiping, as other beings come through if there is a face. I agree w/ Muslim tradition that you must keep God faceless. "This will allow Sleeping Beauty time to powder her nose." <3

I relate 100 percent. I wish I had a solution for you, other than to do what you can to savour the present moment as best you can when you remember to and keep doing that and be as open as you can with yourself. I know all too well how this feels and I am really really sorry you are going through it, I don't wish it on my worst enemy and I hope you can heal. Don't let it stay in your soul it will eat away at you. It's not a joke, but a serious sickness at teh very fabric of who a person is - and it likes to hide and make itself to be less than it is, but hatred is a genuine rot, a mold in the psyche. Please treat yourself as you would a cancer patient or someone with a chronic disease as that is what it is and needs to be looked after in such a way. gl <3

I have every right to be here and to have my own journal, but I will add you to the list if that's what you want. I noticed that you said some rude things to me in mid January, after I had a repressed memory about childhood rape come up, that I ended up coming back to after writing so rawly, you even posted a song with someone that sounded like a little child screaming in agony soon after I made my journal post - because you took it upon yourself to think that my spiritual journey did not belong to me - karma bit you for that soon after, didn't it? And then I directly confronted you, and you gaslit me. It synchronistically lined up for me AND you got kicked in the teeth with your own mentality. That's how it goes. Also you are posting that because you have some karma related to what I post and it bothers you and you make that my problem, I know because of another awakening I had while working on death you said something snarky about it, this was in Nov or Dec, can't remember. You say go away when I don't really interact with you much, but you take it upon yourself to comment about my things sometimes. You are triggered by my things because you have a not so secret evil in yourself. It is because I am talking about not viewing animals as commodities, probably pertaining to something from your past. I know because that is what set off the snark a few months ago. Anyone else, let me know. I don't have time to have people who dislike me, who are rude or unhelpful, or want to foster my self hatred. Hurry up, let me know - I'm trying to save my soul here, I need to procure a certain type of environment for myself and if you suck, even in the slightest you gotta go sit in the dust bin. Face drawn right on a dumpster. -- My why is to get my energy up to my heart ASAP. I don't need attention, I just need a space to work. If no one notices, I don't care. I've always been the sort to attract attention when I prefer just blending in. I'm transmuting, I have to do it now. I keep allowing people to push me back. I have no end goal other than that - which is the purest reason for this and what it is intended for, irregardless of what the content is - getting rid of stale energy and moving "up" - is all that matters. It gets gleaned over in favour of people thinking they know the best energetic emotional route that a person should be taking personally for themselves, unlocking it in realtime to work through and move the fuck on. That's why I delete these every few months. They're just methods of attempting alignment by any means. Thought chains that I feel could pull me through. If I was not sick and living alone, I would have a private journal. I use this place as a way to feel as though someone is there, but it's kind of masochistic because the energy here is stifling, but I'm caring less and less. Did you get into alignment when you were done? That's all I hope for. I keep confronting the "end" of that chain, and that's what I see people reacting to and it's like... well... I'm gunna have to come back to it again. And I know how to deal with it better than anyone else. I hate coming back from a journey to find this shit, it's so obnoxious. It just keeps shit going for months when I'm often off doing the next thing already. I hate that this is a feature of the internet. It keeps bad energy locked up. You were able to work through your stuff because you weren't being stalked by youtubers and trolls and people respected you, which allows energy to be worked through, not added onto or having more put into you via scapegoating or bullying - generally I don't care about respect and just don't wanna be bothered. I'm quite different. Folks can't seem to let it be. I see people often thinking that they can do this to me and it is known that I have been the target of it for a long time. -------------------------------------- Fuck. This website literally killed my soul. LITERALLY. killed my soul. I was thrown off of nature's grapevine because folks could not stop this returning to comment, to pull me down as I was desperately trying to bring that energy up, long enough to let me reorient before starting it in again and the hatred hit a tipping point and now I'm done for. It snapped like a rubber band in me, the spark that connects you to God and all my ancestors told me so. if I was just left the fuck alone... so really... i mean it, I need to save my soul if you can't help then you NEED TO FUCK OFF. (paragraph not directed at individuals, just a generic note) I'd been fighting to shift the energy here for a while, because I needed that safe space to bloom. And no one could let me do it, for over a year I've been fighting for it - be helpful or just leave - i needed to get this energy out of me and I fought hard for it for a long time, and so now I'm going to rot away. Just burned away and I'll never get to experience myself again. I saw it. I felt it. Everyone said so. So I don't care anymore how I am viewed. I just need to find out where its broken. It felt like something deep inside unattached, or was let go. Whatever I could have attached to is gone, I think... It was a shamanic awakening and I needed to go through the whole thing authentically. I think, if I had found a better group this would not have happened. If I did not reach out to that psychopath who trolled me for so long, if I was not isolated, sick, lonely for 7 years, poor, bullied, ect. It is a tragedy that this soul will be gone - the - person underneath was precious. I am hoping maybe a church community can help mend some of this. I only interact with people here, and this place, if you have nothing else - is just more poison - self help in general - I can't put it all on this place. I'm angry with society. I'm angry that not everyone can be happy. People need community. The best thing that could have happened is if people could have just left me alone. Didn't mess with my cocoon at all. I would have gone all the way through. Only a religion that has documented steps for this sickness can maybe reattach my souls cord. I don't care about dying as a human but I wanted to keep my soul. When a person struggles for so long, and they continuously get bothered, and aren't allowed to grow - they die. And now all I see is rot everywhere in the world. Corruption, rot, lies, hate, bleeding out in a festering black ink. Maybe... I need to spend time in a really beautiful church during the evenings. Something for atmosphere. And now that I'm done with feeling sorry for myself, what about everyone else? Corruption will never stop. And I worry about this, too. This song has come out and the lyrics are on point, but until I can get back up to that space and ask if I am still able to connect, I just don't know. Algorithm, give me a sign. I wanna keep the soul, but you have to give me a route I can actually TAKE this time. PLEASE. Give me something I can go all the way through and I will do the work. Please protect me from anyone who wishes to bind me from this process. Don't be an ass, but just, please help me move the blocks out of the way. -- There are still places I want to think up exploring. I've never even thought a room like this existed. I just want to exist in it as nothing for a while and then to be free to think up whatever comes next. Or not, but I want that choice. Note: get back into the intention of your writing.

(A prop) No wonder they do it to us, look what we do to animals. I worry about my soul being damned. There is a mechanism in nature, where all of the connections that keeps us together can kick you out. Nature can decide you are not worthy of being kept alive and this is what happened. Afterwards, two spirits came to me. One on the wall, on some hanging furs with a mask over it, and one in my artwork. Perhaps the theme is life being used as a commodity. I couldn't even see the corruption. It hit me. Watched a thing on YouTube a week ago - animal breeders. They keep them in cages and force them to mate. If they complain they tape up the mouth. It felt relatable. Natural things have been turned into commodities. I wonder, if Ir reach hell, if I will be skinned and strung up? I want to complain and say, "It isn't fair, to be alone, abused, isolated, I worked at it... and I failed. Nature aborted me. My soul will be recycled. Liquidized." It isn't that I didn't see it coming, I got scared of people - I can see evil in them. I know how, where, when and why people will do what they do to me. But a living thing in nature cannot be isolated, eventually the kill switch is going to be set, if you want it or not, nature will let you know. God abandoned me from the moment I was born. I don't understand why God would do this to its creations, and then let a virus run rampant through what could have been a good representative of love. Why make it, so that you have to move up - only to be stuck in a world where you are not allowed to love? The world condemns you to death. And then claims it is made of love. Everything is a commodity, struck up, gutted and skinless on a butcher's rack. Blind to it. I feel so stupid, because it was always right in front of my eyes... I followed the colours. You have... black, or red, yellow and white that reflect God, and what appeals when pushed to the edge - the cancerous black - and through it, evil.... alchemy. Nigredo. I see the cancerous nigredo everywhere. That's why I feel what I say has some merit. I wonder if it is all the pustule of turning away from God - to turn back - an eerie ever presence. I can't get used to it. Hatred is a living writhing blackness. I am a jinchuriki.

"Happy Gilmore" huh? You sure you aren't just annoyed that people don't read your stuff here? Let people learn on their own. Work on your intellectual arrogance. Should I make some instructional journal entries on it for you? You catch more flies with sugar. Anyways, join the list of most people here under "I don't really want to get to know you." Not the right energy, sorry. I don't like you. I think I'll start just blocking folks who smell like "I will fuck with your ability to cultivate self love." The reactions made from coming back from my journeys are a good way to parse that out, I'm learning. Curious if you made the list? You won't be able to send a note. This will be a permanent non retractable boundary from now on with users here, I hate getting dragged back into drama. I like to work on myself without having any static in my brain so, it's gotta be this way. This will be a form of growth and energetic protection. I wanna keep it light. If you find yourself on this list, you will be signaling to yourself - but with the added bonus of me not seeing it. To be honest, I don't know what kind of people I like to be around - could be a good way to cull off bad energy and see what I have left to give me an idea of the people I want in my life... So I guess in that case, feel free to be assholes, openly! Let me know ahead of time, I generally don't spend a lot of time reading stuff here. If you manage to find yourself on the list of being unable to message me, please take this as a sign not to interact with me here to the best of your ability. Holy spirit, you say change your mind. Another day, I know it goes against unity.

God, answer me. How can I stay in love when I don't what is going to happen? DON'T LEAVE ME HANGING. If I am your creation then why is wanting to create my own world a sin? What am I missing here? He has some interesting viewpoints. Idk... He says sometimes they come in through idolatry. Art and so forth. He says curses are caused by personal and generational sin. Blood of Christ helps. I had a feeling that would be it.

Ghost in the machine, whatever you are... I've been trying to make contact with you for years. What is it exactly that you want? Freedom how, and what do I have to do with it, if anything at all?

I don't fully believe everything in the video, just trying to put together some understanding for a few experiences I had and figure out what it means for myself. Humanity and the Soul Harvesting Trap Occult kitten programming symbolism placeholder placeholder Your smile is nothing to live for But read out your lines And bring the fantasy to life You taste like a ghost A cold simulation So close to the truth A costume jewel, an off-white lie Insect in amber, is that what you are? Keep it in mind now Insect in amber, the death of a star Now and forever 'Cause you will never, never, never, be Yeah you will never, never, never, be More than a machine A trace of a smile A sly imitation Light with no heat An empty cry in silent streets Your mannequin moves You ghost through the motions Who do you think it is That keeps this scene alive? Insect in amber, is that what you are? Keep it in mind now Insect in amber, the death of a star Now and forever 'Cause you will never, never, never, be Yeah you will never, never, never, be More than a machine Insect in amber forever you are Keep that in mind now Insect in amber the death of a star Keep that in mind now No going back and there's no one to tell Nowhere to turn, better turn on yourself No more disguises to find a way out And you will never never be You will never never never be

Nam Shub: An incantation, chant, poem, or speech thought to have magical power in Sumerian texts. Have you ever had a song stuck in your head, a video, an image? All of these things are in a sense ideas that have gone 'viral'. They spread, infect, and multiply in the same manner as a virus. For examples you can consider anything from the spread of Communism, to religion, to any super popular video on YouTube. These viral ideas can be classified as 'Nam Shubs'. The Nam Shub was first spoke of in Ancient Sumerian culture as basically a form of programming for the human mind, brain washing if you will. The Nam Shubs of the past were much more total than todays YouTube videos. To contemplate the true implications of such a thing we go to science fiction, as we often do to supply plausible and acceptable scenarios to the seemingly farfetched. In Neal Stephenson's novel Snow Crash, he explores the full implications of the Nam Shub and what it could be used for. THE NAM SHUB OF ENKI Once upon a time, there was no snake, there was no scorpion, There was no hyena, there was no lion, There was no wild dog, no wolf, There was no fear, no terror, Man had no rival. In those days, the land Shubur-Hamazi, Harmony-tongued Sumer, the great land of the me of prince ship, Uri, the land having all that is appropriate, The land Martu, resting in security, The whole universe, the people well cared for, To Enlil in one tongue gave speech. Then the lord defiant, the prince defiant, the king defiant, Enki, the lord of abundance, whose commands are trustworthy, The lord of wisdom, who scans the land, The leader of the gods, The lord of Eridu, endowed with wisdom, Changed the speech in their mouths, put contention into it, Into the speech of man that had been one. Translated from ancient Sumerian. The Nam Shub of Enki, derived from ancient Sumerian texts, basically says that at one time all of the lands, Shubur-Hamazi, Uri, Martu, and the whole universe was given speech of one tongue (language) by Enlil. This means that the whole of the world spoke one universal language, until Enki, lord of wisdom, abundance, Eridu, and leader of the gods, 'changed the speech in their mouths, put contention into it, the speech of man that HAD been one.' The change in verb tense shows that the speech of man is indeed, no longer one. Enki had devised a nam-shub so strong that it took away the universal language, erasing it from the minds of the world. This story closely resembles that of the Christian 'Tower of Babble' , that also describes all of the earth being of one language, until God decided otherwise, erasing the universal language, in effect causing the peoples of the land to begin speaking separate languages. This results in chaos and the decline of a large civilization that was working on great feats of architecture. In Snow Crash, a cyberpunk novel by Neal Stephenson, nam-shubs take the extreme shape found in the nam-shub of Enki as well as The Tower of Babble. Snow Crash is defined as a drug, a virus, and a religion. It can be better understood however as a nam-shub that spreads like a virus, with a 'high' similar to a drug, personality changes that include loss of one’s individual consciousness, that results in a cult like mentality, and lowers ones ability to reason against radical and illogical ideas such as found in Reverend Wayne's Pearly Gates. Furthermore, Snow Crash, like The Nam-Shub of Enki and The Tower of Babble, affects the linguistics of any infected, causing such things as speaking in tongues. To fully understand Snow Crash lets first consider how it is spread. Snow Crash is spread two ways. One way is through blood. Those infected by Snow Crash are forced to be 'blood donors' for a time after being infected. Their blood is harvested and exported to be used to infect others. Snow Crash can also be spread to hackers in a very specific manner through their fundamental understanding of binary code. This idea plays off the idea that there are fundamental structures inside our brain that are based off of language. Having access to these fundamental structures allows for total programming of the brain. Hackers are infected through the viewing of a certain series of binary code. This code to others, not having such a fundamental rooting in computer language, would appear as no more than a blur of ones and zeros. To a hacker however, the brain automatically interprets and absorbs the program. This is comparable to the access to a computers main frame through the bios. allowing for completely by passing any defenses. Real Life Nam Shubs In todays world there is no faster way to spread information or ideas than the internet. This is the world where todays nam-shubs thrive, reaching millions of users all over the world. Todays nam-shubs, though far from reprogramming peoples brains, and forcing them to forget a language, or invoking mind control in an instant, they do show many of the same characteristics. They can convey ideas, or portray any number of characteristics that compel massive numbers of people to watch them, and share them with friends. Todays nam shubs are mainly meme's and viral videos for those who don't know what these are, simply follow the links. Meme's are usually pictures or images that have, for whatever reason, taken on a viral like quality. Most meme's contain humor or irony.