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@Silvester Consider reading Discipline = Freedom by Jocko Willink. You can have both the magic Leo was talking about and the discipline. The fact that these things seem contradictory is only conceptual. In this work, we like to use the term integration. It's a bit like bringing together pieces of a puzzle. One part of you can see the magic in everything and be carefree, and another part of you can get down to work when necessary. It's all still you, just different aspects.

@Cudin Stop judging them for being at their stage of development. Just because we're on the actualized.org forum and we know some spiritual stuff doesn't make us any better than anyone else. Consider that maybe it's awkward not because of them, but because of you. Instead of focusing on you're different than them ("omg they're so stage orange, ugh"), focus on finding commonalities. I guarantee you have a lot more in common than you probably think with even the most plugged-in-the-matrix type person. There are universal challenges we all go through. Does that mean you have to spend excessive time with everyone? Of course not, you're allowed personal preferences. But if you're going to be spending time with these people, at a certain point you have to admit that no one is perfect, no one is perfectly evolved (including you) and you should just learn to get along.

@okulele If all you want to do is yoga and meditate, you could easily do that when you came back to the world. Become a yoga teacher or a meditation coach. These are actually in demand professions right now, especially with the rise of mindfulness in the corporate world. And the barrier to entry is almost non-existent.

@Freakrik I'll preface this by saying that I'm friends with Todd. And there's definitely some truth to this. I don't learn from 99% of pickup gurus. In beginning I learned from everyone, but after being in the community for over five years, I've sorted out who I think is worth learning from and giving real advice. Most pickup gurus are giving platitudes. These platitudes might be accurate to extent, but mostly they've been stripped of any real value in order to not be controversial. He's also right that for a truly advanced guy, you're going to have to go beyond 95% of what is taught in pickup. Most pickup advice is geared towards beginners because they are the largest category. I know this because this has happened to me many times. I've had to completely destroy old habits that were working and rebuild new ones in order to get to the next level. It's the old adage, "what got you here won't get you there". In essence, I think what Todd is advocating for is to bring balance back to your game. Don't be this mindset champ that thinks because you read Models and believe in the power of vulnerability that you're going to automatically be good at game. That is so delusional. You need strategy. You need skills. You need experience. And most importantly, you need to actually self-reflect and analyze your behavior, not just keep doing the same thing over and over again.

What's going on here is that you're massively projecting. They're doing what's best for them, same as you are. Only things didn't go the way you wanted and now you're hurt. The anger is a coverup. I'm not saying you're wrong for feeling this way or that the system isn't screwed up. I never wanted to be an employee. But this is happening because there's a lesson for you to learn. Really sit down, take a deep breath and try and be impartial about this. Is that honestly true? You really don't think these people have families to feed or want to be a good person? Or are you being emotional? I would challenge you to come up with five genuine positive things you can actually believe about the people you're railing against.

@Sahil Pandit Could be that you're evolving and that the things that used to fulfill you just don't anymore. Pretty common on the self-actualization path. To me, fulfillment comes from tapping into Source, contribution, growth and tangible results. Take anything out of the equation and things become unbalanced.

@riplo Dreams are more or less a manifestation of what is rolling around in your subconscious mind. So if you're finding your dreams really dark and negative, that could be a clue that you're purging or that you've got an issue you should look at. Potentially both.

@nour-cha93 Read a book called Slow Burn by Stu Mittleman. It's technically a book for runners, but there's some really good nutrition info on there and the relationship between food and energy. The basics is that your body can either run on glucose (carbs and sugar) or fat. Glucose is a bit like dynamite: quick bang of energy and then it's gone. Hence the term "sugar rush". Burning fat doesn't give you such an initial kick, but it's far more sustainable. It's a higher vibrational way to achieve lasting energy. The truth is you'll probably do a combination of both, especially if you're new to cleaning up your diet. But you definitely want to be moving in the direction of kicking the sugar habit for energy.

That's a problem right there. No work experience by 21? That's probably throwing up a red flag assuming you haven't been out curing cancer or something. This could be a problem. If music is your main passion and you're just looking to jump ships as soon as possible, why would anybody want to hire you? You don't even want to be there. Fix it and then throw your focus into social media. I remember when I was in college, the standard advice was to hide your social media in order to get a job. Now it's the opposite. As long as you have good content, you should be blasting your social media as much possible. What makes good content? Content that your potential employer would want to see. For example, let's say you're applying for a Game Development position. If I was you, I would immediately create a YouTube channel called GameDevLife or something like that and just talk about making video games. This shows that you're passionate about game development, pro-active, creative and gives them a chance to get to know you far more than just looking at a piece of paper. If you're worried that you won't be able to get a huge following, realize it's actually better that way from an employer's perspective. No one with a million followers on YouTube is looking for a entry level position in Game Development. So literally you win just by creating the content. I'd also do the same thing for Instagram and IGTV. This advice goes for anyone reading this who is also looking for a job. Get on social media and create content.

@blacksapp I might depending on the situation. We place so many limits on love out of fear and scarcity. The idea that you're only capable of being with one person is nonsense.

@Thetruthseeker Use it, don't let it use you. Post what you have to post and GTFO.

You've misunderstand what Spiral Dynamics is about. When you transcend into a new stage, the purpose is not to throw everything in the trash about the previous stage. It's to recognize it's limitations and move forward. Let's look at an example. Just because you ate and slept today doesn't mean you're stage Beige. That's because while you realized that you do need to eat and sleep, there's more to life than that. There are limitations to stage Beige. At the same time, what if you never went through stage Beige? What if you decided you just wanted to be Turquoise and never learned the importance of eating and sleeping? You'd be dead. So nothing of true value is ever lost when you transcend a stage. You simply take the good, discard the bad and move forward with your new awareness. Nobody is suggesting we stop using technology. But there are limits to technology and how effective it can be at solving problems. Mainly, that it doesn't account for the psychology of the people using it. What people need to do is recognize that technology is a reflection of our inner world. So if you want to make technology that will actually save the planet, turn inward first and see what's going on inside.

Why does your dad yelling at you cause you to stop putting in effort on this? What does he say? Not saying you’re wrong for doing so. Just looking to understand the situation.

Why would you want to fit into the system? I'm trying to be as contrarian as my ego will allow me. The fact is that yes, you will clash with some of the ways the system is currently set up. But you also won't care.

@Charlotte It can be, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't do it.

What is your life purpose?

@Joseph Maynor My understanding is that statement is meant to point out that every stage below yellow thinks it's "right". They fail to see that every stage has merits and that we are all evolving through these stages individually and collectively. So it's not like you couldn't give a copy of Spiral Dynamics to a stage blue person. It's just that it's either going to sit on their shelf or they'll read it a bit and then denounce it. You can only receive certain paradigms when you're ready. Either way, it's just a model. I wouldn't get too hung up on it.

@NoSelfSelf I’m not perfect in this area, but a big thing for me in killing the “little boy” was working through fears. You could say that being a man is inversely proportional to fear. That’s the root cause of all this weak, nice guy, beta type behavior. So what are you afraid of?

@Darthcolo This could be a natural result of awakening. Most people don't question why they do things, and so they just get the default programming they're given growing up. Sometimes that questioning leads us to realize that we actually don't want what we previously thought we wanted. And it can be confusing and disorienting. Overall though it's a good thing. You're thinking for yourself and seeing what you're authentically inspired to do.

@tentacion A good book is all about specificity. What exactly do you want to know about God and spirituality? Narrow it down to a single question or goal.

@haguga Youtube "Tony Robbins priming". Then just follow the instructions in the video.

@George Fil I'll echo what others have been saying. It's great that you want to help, but are they open to receiving that help? If not you'll just be spinning your wheels One of the struggles I have as a coach is not going into "control mode". Many times it's obvious to me what I think my client should be doing and I want to force that agenda on them. It rarely works. People change when they're ready to change, not when you think they should.

@F A B She's at least comfortable. Attraction...maybe. If you have more details that would clear things up.

@Azlan I've found that if someone isn't into this work, you're not going to be able to convince them. The desire to do real personal development comes from a deep personal choice. You can't "should" them to take it seriously. Not in the long term. I know because I tried this with one of the previous girls I dated and it failed miserably. I was trying to get her to try things like yoga, reading books and eating healthy but she just wanted to party. The only positive change was that she was willing to come to the gym with me. And that only happened because she spent all day on Instagram looking at models and got insecure about how her ass looked. I also think it's important that people in a relationship are somewhat close in terms of development. You'll never be perfectly aligned, but you have to at least be in a same general area. So it seems like you have two choices: 1) Accept that you will be going this mostly alone, without your partner 2) Get a different partner I know neither of those are particularly pleasant but that's the truth.

You begin by doing the opposite of that. Start with just one, whatever you think will be easiest. You have to start building some positive momentum.