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@BobbyLowell Learn how to be likeable. You'd be surprised how deep of a rabbit hole that is.

@Vlad Ropotica I've been there, I know that hell. All I can say is it doesn't last.

@Patang Dreams aren't illogical. They just don't follow the logic you are used to.

@Marinador What I've found is that health and spirituality often go hand in hand. The reason people tend not to take care of themselves is that they have a lot of low vibration, negative energy inside of them. They actually want to hurt themselves because low vibration energy attracts more low vibration energy. Just like when you're mad, you often want to stay mad. But there's a raising of vibration during the spiritual purification process. That higher vibration energy wants to see things thrive and succeed, and so people suddenly are more interested in their health. Of course it's not always that cut and dry. But generally that is what I see within myself and others. The more I wake up, the more I want to put better food and better influences into my body.

That's not what it means. ANY field you go into will have other people in that field, and technically you will be competing with them. Being a creator is a mental paradigm. In the book Tribal Leadership, they talk about how there are 5 levels to any organization, with 1 being the lowest and 5 being the highest. Levels 1-4 all focus on competition. Members of the organization either focus on competing within the organization or care about competing against other organizations. But at level 5, something switches. Members are aware of the competition but their focus isn't solely on beating them anymore. Instead they are focused on what is possible and what value can be created. Think about Tesla Motors. Clearly they are competing with other car companies. But they didn't come to the market with just another "me-too" product and try to benchmark their way to success. They created something the world had never seen, and suddenly every other car company is scrambling and reacting to them. Or you could look at sports. If you take a guy like Ray Lewis, clearly he was competitive and wanted to win. But he also was a creator, focusing on molding his defense into something great. So it's a paradox. By letting go of competing and shifting to the creator paradigm, you often end up dominating your competition.

@ValiantSalvatore They're great. There's so much social conditioning around sex, love and what it's "supposed" to look like that people freak out when you suggest anything other than monogamy. At the same time, the success of any relationship is mostly going to come down the people who are in it. For some people it will be right, for others it won't. Really the answer is just to find what works for you.

Use the scientific method to question everything about your world. That's what it is supposed to be about: free, honest inquiry. Of course if you actually want to experience God, you'll have to go a step further and become what you're seeking. And that won't happen with a bunch of statistics. It's great that many people seemingly want to blend the rational and the spiritual these days. It's definitely a step in the right direction. But every tool has its limit, and rationality is no different.

That's because it can't. Not in the way most people think at least. When you're in a low-vibration, ego-based paradigm of the world, rearranging the external can't ultimately bring happiness because you're not addressing the cause. The cause is you being out of touch with your own Godliness.

@Cjaryo I seriously doubt it. The fact you're self-reflecting and wondering about this already makes it unlikely.

@Andre Quinonez It all has value in its own context. If you're just starting out, I definitely wouldn't hesitate to go heavy on the research. And Leo is talented at summing up many different sources. So do it all.

What about your delusion?

@Rilles Stilling the monkey mind can take years. Just keep up your regular meditation practice.

I do what you and most guys who struggle in this area refuse to do. I embrace the nightlife scene and I embrace living that "player" lifestyle. The fact is that the best relationships I've ever had came from when I was in abundance with girls, not when I was just looking to lock down the first pretty girl that smiled at me. I'm not in love with bars and nightclubs either. But I do it because this is where the most attractive, socially savvy women that I want to date tend to be. Second only to high end social circle / networking events. What's funny is that when you actually know what to do, bars and nightclubs can be incredibly fun. But guys want to prematurely-judge this thing they don't even understand. So some point I just accepted that getting a high quality girl is hard enough without me holding myself back. I wasn't going to place self-impose limits on myself just because nightclubs reminded me of some of those times when I didn't fit in during high school.

I've never watched his content, but supposedly this guy helps a lot of girls. You might want to check him out. My two cents is that if you're just trying to MEET a guy, then the bar is pretty low. Just look as good as possible, keep putting yourself out there socially and don't look like you're angry at life. You'll get approached soon enough.

@F A B That definitely could help. It will focus your mind on seeing what's funny. I'd also check out improv comedy lessons and / or comedy sketch writing. And spend more time socializing just for fun.

@Shroomdoctor Fear of authentic life purpose is a common phenomena. If you've been living inauthentically for a long time, to make that shift to authenticity can be scary because it means shaking up your whole life, destroying the self-image others have of you and a whole mess of other problems. Seeing the fear for what it is helps. When you understand "oh, this is just my self-image being threatened", you don't take it as seriously. Another solution is just sitting down with your parents and communicating honestly what is going on. You're growing and exploring, you don't have it all figured it out yet. And if they're not okay with that, there's nothing you can really do.

Dude, that's amazing. This work IS selfish. We're all here because we want to live the greatest life possible, not the shittiest one. The fact that you've seen some positive results is a cause for gratitude and celebration. When Leo talks about becoming less selfish, he doesn't mean stop improving your life. But he is pushing you to become aware of how we all contribute to societies problems. No one is exempt from that, not even the Buddhist monk who lives in a monastery. So don't beat yourself. Ride that upward spiral as much as you possibly can, and while you're doing that, help as many people as possible.

@Omario There's two ways of going about this, both with their own problems. I recommend doing both. 1) You have to find a way to start generating a positive feedback loop for being confident. For instance, maybe you're confident one day and it leads you to ask a girl out. She says yes. You feel good. Now next time you're in that situation, you have positive reinforcement that being confident is a good idea. So it looks like this: Exhibit desired personality trait -> positive result -> positive emotion -> positive reinforcement for desired personality trait and self-image. It sounds messed up, but it's almost like you're training a dog. But the dog is you. The downside of this is that when you don't have positive reinforcement, you can sometimes lose your mojo. So even though it can take you up, it can also take you down. 2) Realize that your confidence doesn't come from "you". You mentioned that you were confident as a kid, so you already know how to be confident. What you need is to let go of the thoughts that say you aren't there already. This is more of a spiritual process, so things like meditation can really help. The downside of doing it this way is that it can be hard for the mind to accept this. Many of these beliefs are deeply rooted. So that's why I recommend a mixed strategy. Meditation is great, but let's also not forget that competence breeds confidence. Attack it from both angles and things will shift for you.

@PT89 I've found the only real solution is just to sit with it, get present, and NOT get lost in the story of my thoughts. My mind wants to come up with all sorts of reasons why these emotions are "real" and "justified". It's this fun game we play.

This part is throwing me off. You said you moved out, why would you not be able to see your friends? Either way, if your closest influences aren't good influences, you can still be around great people. Reading books, visiting this forum, watching YouTube videos are all examples of changing who you spend the most time with.

@Adam M That’s like asking if water is effective at putting out fire. Of course it works. But yes, it takes time and effort. Social media has such a low barrior to entry that it can be very difficult to cut through the noise.

@Marinus Dude, what the fuck. Everything about this is backwards. Even if this girl really does have a legit excuse to not have sex, which I can almost guarantee she doesn't, the fact that you're dating her is a MAJOR problem. You should have been having sex WAY before you became monogamous. And you should have been seeing other girls while that was happening. If you stay in this relationship, my prediction is that you are going to be extremely unhappy. The choice is yours.

@Sukhpaal People have made that claim, and I believe them. But it's not a requirement.

@Ryan_047 Meditation, affirmations and nutrition. You've made an identity out of being a pessimistic person and you're going to have to let that go.

@-T8 I love it. A goal of mine is to have a camera crew follow me around all day, Gary Vee style. What most people call "privacy" is really just hiding. They're scared to put themselves out there, even though they'd massively benefit from it. People who make a big impact know that attention is the name of the game. They embrace the spotlight, not shy away from it. What has privacy ever done for you except protect you from disapproval?