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@ColeMC01 There's a certain amount of truth in what you're saying. But I would add a lot more nuance to it. The problem "nice guys" typically have is that they're not in their power. But that doesn't mean the other extreme of toxic masculinity is any better. I wouldn't focus on trying to be either an asshole or nice. Don't "try" to be anything. You need to find what is you and own it.

Follow your interests. If "finding your purpose" seems too daunting, and it definitely can be, just pay attention to what feels genuinely good. The good news is that while your job might be soul sucking, you'll be able to use that money to fund whatever your next project is. That's a big deal.

@LordFall I'm with you on this. I absolutely loved the community feel in college of living amongst everyone you knew. It seems so strange to me that as soon as we become adults we immediately isolate ourselves into own boxes. Of course, people should live whatever lifestyle brings them the most happiness. But I do question that if it wasn't a societal norm, how many people would really choose that life? This is also why I'm so interested in ecovillages these days. Beyond the environmental benefits, there seems to be immense social and community benefits to that lifestyle. You might also want to look into ecovillages. There isn't a whole lot of traveling together but you would be living and working together.

@BornToBoil Some of the conclusions you’ve come to aren’t wrong. But just because they’re not wrong doesn’t mean they’re not an excuse. Yes, I find it absurd that pickup needs to exist. In a more conscious society it wouldn’t. And yes, a lot of it is compensation for insecurities. And yes, you should continue to do the inner work. But that’s all stories. None of that changes the fact that right here, right now, you are obviously not experiencing the dating life you want. And so you’ve got to play with where you are at. Unless you have a better plan on how to change your situation, I’d approach a minimum of 100 girls before you dismiss pickup. You don’t have to have sex with them if you really don’t want to. But at least know you CAN do it before you criticize it.

@Porphyry Fedotov Sounds like things were friendly, but she’s not exactly seeing you as a boyfriend. More like just a friend. To be sure, there’s nothing wrong with having strictly female friends or taking things slow. In fact I’d highly recommend it. But if your case: 1) you don’t want to be her friend 2) she is your friend because you’re too nervous or unsure of how to make it anything else. And that’s fine too. Almost every guy I know has experienced that at some point, including myself. But beware that is what’s happening. More important than salvaging this particular relationship is that you internalize the lessons. What could you have done differently? Why didn’t you do that originally? What specific fears are showing up here? How are these fears benefitting you?

@Javfly33 You’re feeling this way because you’re being shown something you feel you really want, but also feel you can’t have. That triggers feelings of powerlessness, inadequacy and shame. And then you know you should approach her, but you’re not, which then causes you to beat yourself up for not doing it. To answer your question, no it doesn’t have to be like this. It’s very possible to develop your dating skills and resolve these emotions.

My experience is it definitely can help. I have much more energy when I’m practicing semen retention. But you also want to make sure you’re channeling that extra energy into what you want and not just shoving it down. Ideally, Nofap shouldn’t be challenging all. The energy should just circulate. Also, most people fap with porn. And porn to me feels like shooting a drug. It pulls me out of being present. So if nofap helps you kick porn, that alone is worth it.

*cue saxophone music* . Happy for you brother.

@Skenderberg I’ve never written music but I have played my guitar on shrooms. Granted it was a low dose and I was already heavy on the comedown. But it was amazing. The best thing was that I just felt in total flow. Like my timing was perfect and I was absolutely present with the experience. Crowd was loving it.

Sounds like it be perfect for you! I’d recommend the physical copy. The audiobook is good but it’s pretty technical at some points and I had a hard time following. Had to go back and reread a lot of it.

Top list for 2020: Sacred Economics by Charles Eisenstein. This book left me questioning everything I knew and valued. He takes a deep dive into many of the societal problems we face today due to our financial system. As someone with a Masters degree in Economics, I found it extremely enlightening. Lots of practical ideas on how to change things for the better. He also bridges all these ideas with deep spiritual truths. Total masterpiece. The Moneyless Man by Mark Boyle. Really fascinating book about a man who gave up money to live in a cabin in the woods. Will challenge your beliefs about money, success and the good life. Needs to be read critically and with nuance. Communion With God by Neale Donald Walsch. This book came after Book 3 of the CWG series. Extremely eye opening, left me in tears. Slow Sex by Diana Richardson. The essentials of Tantric sex. Made me question everything I thought I knew about what it means to have amazing sex. Heartsblood by David Peterson. This book is about the spiritual aspects of hunting and what Peterson calls True Hunting. I've never hunted before but this book is persuasive. Shopclass as Soul Craft by Matthew Crawford. Crawford argues for the value of learning to work with your hands and how it affects you spiritually. I've been so in my head for most of my life that I've ignored working with my hands. This book really got me to question that. Theta Healing by Vianna Stibal. Amazing read for energy healers! Theta healing is a powerful modality that can create profound shifts for your clients.

@levani I've done quite a bit of fasting. Each one has been different and I find it hard to predict how I'm going to feel. It's your first fast, I'd honestly not recommend seven days. I'd start with three. But that's up to you, you'll have to trust your intuition.

@F A B It could just be that you were nervous doing it your first time. But I'm wondering where you're learning tantra from? If someone is giving you a bunch of techniques to perform, to me that's kind of missing the point. The foundation of tantric sex is just to be conscious. Breathe, relax and slow everything down. Become aware. There's nothing to do, no requirements to be met. Just trust your body, trust your impulses.

I definitely wouldn't do this. This sound hella adventurous and you could learn a lot. Potentially impractical though. I'd say this is your best bet. At the very least, talk to people who you respect in this world and ask where you can get trained. You might not be able to apprentice with them but they may be able to point you to some kind of school or organization. I'd ask everybody I could. Also, nothing wrong with some google research. I bet you can find a place to learn shamanism that isn't online.

@kag101 Yes, a big problem with people on the left is their lack of acceptance for the right. The right is of course equally intolerant, if not worse. But people on the left like to imagine themselves as the one's who are more tolerant and compassionate. To them, the right is just a bunch of cold hearted racists. Unfortunately, what this does is just push a lot of people further right or solidify their beliefs. It gives people on the right a sense of meaning, like they're fighting for the truth against the oppressive left. And everything just becomes more polarized. What the left has to learn is that being "right" is not enough. It needs Stage Yellow ability to hold space for all different kinds of perspectives, even ones they consider dangerous.

@Jordan Welsh Love it. Our entire prison system is deeply corrupt and unconscious. Ideally the whole thing could just be abolished. But creating a system that actually rehabilitates inmates like they're doing is a good start.

@Focus Shift His books are overly cynical and paranoid in my opinion. I did like Mastery though, that one is worth a read.

If being assertive is part of your shadow, then learning to accept yourself would include learning to be assertive. Most of the time when guys complain about being "too nice" and that it "doesn't work", what is really happening is that they're just unconscious of how manipulative they are and how much remains in their shadow. You've acknowledged that you have some of this going on, so I'd start with some shadow questions. What's the scariest part about being assertive? What bad thing will happen if you're dominant? What's the worst part about being an asshole? Remember that owning our shadow does not mean we become it. If I have a shadow about being a racist, healing that would not involve me becoming a racist. And so the end goal here is not to turn you into some Stage Red warlord. Our shadow manifests in unhealthy ways because it's unconscious and repressed. Bring it into the light of conscious and it will transform into it's highest form.

I don't see the conflict? Why do you feel you can't do both? I'd disagree, music can be extremely healing. There are sound healers who make entire careers out of it.

Happy birthday @Natasha! And thank you @DrewNows for letting us know.

@blankisomeone I think it's possible. We're still pretty far from that point as it seems even our most conscious politicians resort to violent communication. But things are shifting, I wouldn't rule it out.

Some of them I actually do think will give it up. Technically they are the "winners" in this game we are describing. But I think the game itself is flawed, in which case even the "winners" are not winners. In other words, are those bankers really happy hoarding their billions? Or do they maybe long to be more generous, but are incentivized not to be? I think it's the latter. They're not evil people. My sister worked for one of those large banks for many years, and she's one of the kindest people you'll ever meet. She's just playing into what she is financially incentivized to do, as we all are to some degree. It gives her security. But we all want to share. We all want to be generous. We all want to be loving. But those natural impulses can get quite distorted by beliefs, systems and general unconsciousness. And yes, some will fight it tooth and nail. There's always people who resist change. But I believe new systems would benefit everyone in the long run, which is why I feel so strongly about it.

Of course you don't think it's a belief. That's what it means to believe something. You believe that it's truth. But it is not truth. It's simply associations your mind made in the past. You are seeing the past, not what is.

@Hotaka Grace is such a perfect word to describe the divine. That's exactly how it feels to me. Where are these quotes from?

Actually breatharianism seems to be a real thing. It's beyond me but apparently it is possible. So I wouldn't be so sure . Regardless, your limitations are PART of the illusion. You are God, imagining themselves to be a human with limitations. That's part of what you wanted to experience. Limitations aren't bad. They're only "bad" when they're unconscious and no longer serve. You do. That's what "you create your own reality" and "manifestation" means. Don't intellectualize it too much. Stick on your spiritual practice.