aurum

You can, these things have nothing to do with each other. In fact, most people who become more conscious have a dramatic increase in their social skills. So your experience is interesting to me. My intuition says that you should stop smoking weed. I think you've learned the lessons you can get from it and it's now becoming a bit of crutch.

@rNOW Self development work is like sharpening the saw for your career / relationships. Don't think of them as different parts of your life. Do you feel your work is relatively aligned with your life purpose? If you're doing something that's out of alignment, it's easy for procrastination to set in. That might actually be true. Personally, I tend to go hard on just one or two things at a time. Everything else gets pushed to the side. Balance is a never ending process based on what your needs are in the moment. You may want to try reading Getting Things Done by my friend David Allen.

@Mircan Combine massive action towards your life purpose along with spiritual work. That's the real answer.

@Hello from Russia It's very context dependent advice. For instance, I just did a three day fast where I didn't eat or drink anything. That's a challenging thing to do because even though it's healthy, you basically go through food withdraws. So the emotionally difficult thing for me to do was just to stick to the fast. It took discipline. But there's other times where you just want to free flow with what feels good in the moment. The question I usually ask is "what is the action that is truly in alignment with what I want?". In your example about cumming inside of a girl, that might feel really good in the moment. But I can promise you it's less fun when the pregnancy scare happens. That's not in alignment with what I want. So I'm not going to do it.

@Kaity I would start just by becoming comfortable around women who embody the femininity you want. Make friends with them and see how many of your judgments were misguided. If you can't do that, Instagram is your friend. Find women on Instagram who you like and just start following them. What do they wear? How do they talk? What are they interested in? What don't they like? Why do they do what they do? That will open you up to making changes yourself. And you'll also have a group of people around you that won't judge you for the changes you're making.

Awesome man! Glad you liked it, lots more content coming soon.

It's not that black or white. In your case, the fact you even asked this question shows me that you're unlikely to fall into that particular trap. For you, I would say consider all motivation to be good motivation. Even if it's not always "higher consciousness" or seems petty. Own all of your needs.

@Superfluo You could try the Commonplace journal Leo talks about. But this isn’t school, you don’t have to memorize every detail. It’s okay if you forget stuff, just keep coming back to it and what is practical for you at this moment.

@emind Yes it can. You should be able to attract women without talking and without them having any idea who you are. That’s a purely energetic form of attraction. It won’t happen everytime, but if it’s not happening at all, your energy is off.

I don't think that aspect was suggesting women go back to being helpless victims. There can be a shadow side of dependency. Rather, it's about how the masculine and feminine energies manifest themselves. I love being a leader. When I'm owning a situation, it just feels so right. It's like I'm home. Because I know good things are going to happen for everyone around me. Most guys would agree with that. But if you were to honestly ask most women how they feel about being a leader and having to take charge, you would get much different responses. It doesn't feel right to them. This doesn't mean some girl can't go channel her inner Khaleesi if she wants. It's a free will universe, and some women undoubtedly are more masculine than others. But in my experience they typically don't enjoy it the same way men do. When I'm in a long term relationship with a girl, I love when she tells me things like "You make me feel safe". There's just something about that which strikes at the core of what it means to be a man. And when she feels safe, that's when her femininity opens up and she gets to feel like a woman.

Of course. That’s what it means to live in a universe governed by law of attraction. I also agree. The feminine will tend to fall into place when the masculine is there. Awesome, I believe you. I don’t think we’re fundamentally disagreeing. As a man, you take 100% ownership all the time. What I’m really looking to discourage is moral judgments.

@billiesimon Yeah she did a very good job with this, props to her. For anyone who liked this, I would read Iron John by Robert Bly.

Because you can just as easily get in a relationship with someone who isn’t long distance. Long distance is basically the worst parts of a relationship with none of the good. You don’t get to see each other, you don’t get to have sex, you don’t get to eat together. You basically can’t do shit except talk on Skype. Why make it harder than it has to be? Why not just find someone local?

@Sukhpaal Breakups aren’t fun, but they can be amazing for personal growth. Some of my absolute best lessons have come from breakups. Don’t be afraid to feel, it’s not going to kill you. Also, I would just forget about long distance relationships. Do it if you really want, but I find them a waste of time.

@MM1988 Lol yes dating can seem like a minefield. You don’t want to be try-hard, but you also can’t try to not be try-hard, because that’s try-hard. And you can’t do nothing, because if you do nothing, nothing happens. So WTF? If you really want to make this more natural, it starts with inner game. Yes there are things you can do externally to make things easier, but I would focus inward for awhile first.

Part of it is usally that she feels so much shame over her sexuality, that the only way she can enjoy it is if “happens to her”. If she feels she cooperated at all, then all that shame will surface. This can happened to men as well. But I think it’s generally more common in women because of slut-shaming. Part of it is also just feminine energy. Feminine energy is receptive and free flowing. It’s surrender. Even a woman doesn’t have a rape fantasy, most women do want the experience of being dominated, directed, and controled during sex. They want the man to take charge, which frees them up to feel feminine.

Depends on what you mean. I definitely don’t see then as immoral, and I don’t see them as having made a “mistake”. If anything, I just think they could be better off if they adjusted their dating strategy.

I think there’s depths of nonresistance you can get into. What you’re describing here sounds like a basic level of tolerance, although I could be wrong. I’m talking about a dramatic shift in your levels of resistance, usually which happens all at once when you can’t take it anymore.

Because a relationship is a cooperative endevour. If someone is cheating, i.e the relationship is essentially failing, then both parties probably have some fault. Let’s say a man steps out and cheats on his wife. The initial response from most people would be “boo, he lied and cheated. What a scumbag”. But no one is seeing all the hours his wife is nagging him, eroding his self esteem and making him feel less of a man. So he cheats. Now you might say “boo, his wife is such a bitch, it’s all her fault”. But no one is seeing all the times where maybe he didn’t appreciate his wife, which caused her to nag him. On and on this goes. Now factor in that both people are just responding to the societal programming they’ve been given since growing up, and you realize that blame is really just a joke. It’s impossible to actually blame one person for anything. So if there’s any problem in a relationship, both people need to take responsibility and at least be willing to examine their behavior.

@archi It’s a fair question, but I’m curious why you’re so concerned about your friend’s problem.

Usually it’s either because she’s sexually frustrated or she feels no sense of stability. Just depends on the situation. The way I see it happen the most is she’s out partying with her friends and gets swept up in the emotion of the moment. Some guy is pressing all the right buttons and she just goes with it. But I’ve also seen it where she will be far more deliberate about it. Cheating is whatever you say it is. There are no hard rules in relationships that exist. Only the ones you as a couple decide upon. For some couples, having sex with someone else wouldn’t be considered cheating. It just depends. Honestly, I think “cheating” is a bad term. It implies that the “cheater” is wrong or bad and that the other person is the victim. In reality, almost any situation where cheating takes place is a two way street.

Ground yourself in your spiritual practice. Get a daily meditation habit going if you don’t already to keep yourself emotionally centered. The rewards will come when you are ready, not a moment too soon or a moment too late. This is more than about just pickup. It’s about you learning to consistently tap into who you really are.

No it’s not. It’s hard to understand with words if you haven’t experienced it. I like to feel good, so under normal circumstances I would not choose to sit there. But if you’ve made the deliberate choice to sit there, that’s what you’re doing. That’s reality at this moment. Might as well accept it.

@el_duderino Awesome man!

Pain isn't as bad as we think. You can experience this if you practice Strong Determination Sitting. You're sitting there in the most awful pain, and you think that's the reason why you're suffering. Until you have that breakthrough moment where resistance drops completely. Once that happens, the pain is still there. But it's surprisingly enjoyable. All that suffering was you not trying to be where you are. Pretty ironic.