aurum

I agree that getting some warm social circle experience would be ideal for guys if they've never had that. Otherwise, yeah they will probably be very cringey when they start to do pickup.

Green take on evolution:

You're confusing things. Yes, all beliefs are ontologically true in the sense that that occur in reality and therefore must be. But that is different from beliefs being "correct". Self-deception still occurs within reality. Just think about it.

You were already deceived. I just pointed it out to you. Being king of reality doesn't mean all your silly beliefs are now correct. Don't get it confused.

No, your perception is 100% reality. You can just still be self-deceived. Both are true. Your self-deception is ontologically still reality. But that does mean you're right. You are self-deceived that your perception of reality is not 100% reality.

You can still experience self-deception.

It is literally whatever you perceive.

This theory is badly wrong. Your perception of reality is exactly reality. Not an interface of any kind.

@Hojo you could just as easily claim the reverse. Near-sightedness = pulling your vision in, retracting from the world, hiding, fear Far-sightedness = relaxing into your field of vision, moving into the world, safety

And how do you ensure that your platonic social circle will even allow you to approach the women you want to date? Or that you don't give yourself golden handcuffs by placing yourself in the wrong kind of role? You have to think ahead about this kind of thing. It does not just happen. Again, you don't have to do "pickup". But you do need to plan and initiate conversations with people.

We did it guys we solved dating. Everyone get your meetup account ready and head down to your local dive bar, she's waiting.

You forgot lives a perfect wellness lifestyle, eschewing drugs and alcohol.

Don’t worry bro, she’s going to be at the book club meeting from Meetup.com

I’m not suggesting anyone should live this life. I don’t even myself. I’m pointing out realities of the modern dating world. Choose whatever life you feel is best. There’s also nothing exclusive to what I said about Miami. Any major city will have its version of this. Miami is just a bit more extreme than others. Whether you want to collect trophies or settle down and have a deep relationship, you still have to meet her.

Watch this if you want to challenge your fantasies about where the most attractive women are. This is the kind of thing your 10 is doing while you're at a dive bar having deep conversations with old people: https://youtu.be/qysTp512dfA?si=K3oe6NqveYJNAh-s

I agree getting the hottest women is not the problem for most guys. I don't even think they will succeed in that endeavor. I also agree that Joshe's advice was mostly fine. I don't really have a problem with what he said. I'm pointing out the limitations for the minority of guys who might be interested in that, and to disrupt any fantasies there are about dating the women typically considered the most attractive. If a guy thinks that going out to dive bar is going to get him the hottest women, that's a fantasy. And he needs to pop that. Also, I think you might be misunderstanding the order of operations for pickup. You do pickup precisely because you don't have a social circle and need to meet people. That's exactly what it was like when I moved to Miami. I knew absolutely no one, and so I had to approach a lot more people before I had the luxury of coasting off a group of friends. Because these guys are often socially awkward, they're not going to have a social circle. I've meet many of them. So are they supposed to just wait for a social circle to materialize? They have to initiate lots of conversations. You don't have to think about it as pickup per se. You could think about it as social circle building. But pickup is motivating for many guys. Young guys are mostly immature and aren't motivated by community. They want to meet women. That's the carrot for them. Also, often pickup becomes a great way to meet other guys in your local area. Your "pickup friends" become your actual friends, through the shared bond that is the hell of cold approach. Guys bond well when they have a challenge to tackle together. So there's the start of your social circle. I know guys who were originally "pickup friends" who are all friends years later and in each other's weddings. That's the kind of real bond you can form.

To be fair to him, I don't think his advice was meant to suggest it would attract the hottest girls. Just that it will get you laid and help you overcome social anxiety. Which I agree it could. Most guys are never going to seriously go after the most attractive women. And for good reason. They will not succeed.

I think your advice is good for most guys if they're just looking to overcome social anxiety and get laid a bit. It's a question of what your goals are. If you want the most attractive women, it's hard to escape going to nightclubs. These kind of women just don't go to local dive bars typically. They're usually at some exclusive section at a nightclub you can't even get into. And then after they're going to some private mansion party. Or she's working the club, and she's just going to go home after it closes and you're long gone. The competition curve for these women is not linear, it's hyperbolic. You're not longer competing with regular dudes, you're now competing with celebrities, professional athletes, influencers, high-level promoters, rich trust-fund kids, famous musicians, socialites, hospitality insiders, foreign billionaires etc. It's like going from playing football with your neighborhood friends to playing in the NFL. And yeah, most guys are never going to be able to play in the NFL. So you've got to know what's realistic for you. In that sense your advice is probably better. Succeeding in these kind of environments typically require you to build a social circle. Similar to how you did at your local bar, but now within those top nightclubs and other ancillary events associated with that social scene. So it's not just cold-approach pickup. Basically it's about applying the principles you suggested, but now in extreme high-status environments.

Courtney Ryan is also good to get a woman's perspective: Take advantage of her fashion advice as well if you're older, she has experience in that area.

No country is going to be able to take on unlimited climate refugees. There will be limited spots people will have to fight for.

ManTalks is solid: His whole channel is a good resource for building mature relationships from a masculine POV.

Finally got around to the David Pinsof political video. Some thoughts: First off, it was very good. Pinsof gets a lot right about of political situation and how we rationalize our positions to fit our needs. I felt the bit about moralization was particuarlly insightful. The only real critiques I would have of Pinsof are that a) he flattens development and b) he does not understand a perspective beyond evolution. Flattening development is problematic because it assumes that everyone bullshits equally, and that some values are not actually higher than others. Rather, he just assumes equal development and that any perceived differences in development are just more rationalizations. So his perspective becomes reductionistic. Not understanding anything beyond evolution is also a problem, because then your worldview must be based in materialism. Evolutionary psychology becomes your sense-making box you try to force everything into. But of course materialism itself is untrue, and evolutionary psychology is just a subset of materialism.

Stop expecting unconditional love from humans. This is a foolish expectation to begin with.

Bars are not superior to nightclubs for approaching. They are too small, unless you live in a city like Miami where even the bars are practically nightclubs. Also, the most attractive women are typically at nightclubs rather than bars.

It's precisely because they're too stupid. Government requires intelligence. Everything you point to as an example of an unconscious society is actually an example of emergent solutions from evolutionary intelligence. To address your larger point, such as society of enlightened people is impossible right now. Society requires many people to be cogs in the machine, not radical sages. Someone has to pick fruit, clean toilets, fight wars, cut down trees, deliver packages, stock shelves, do landscaping, drive Uber, work assembly lines, fix cars, load trucks, work tech support, be a bank teller, babysit kids, answer phone calls, package food, work McDonalds, etc. AI and other tech may replace some or even all of these roles eventually, but we're not there yet. And even if all these jobs got replaced tomorrow, people's psychology would not fundamentally have shifted. All that takes time.