aurum

My guess is that's because you just haven't done a lot of cold approaches. You seem to prefer smaller, more intimate environments. I think that the "escalating signals" thing has happened to me maybe once in my entire life. And it didn't even lead anywhere. It's the exact opposite of the movies.

1/5 guys reported to the authorities seems way too high. I also have some issues with his advice about "escalating signals before talking". That almost never happens. If you wait for that kind of thing, you will essentially never be able to approach a woman ever. You don't need flirty eye contact, you just need to know how to approach properly and walk things back if they're unwanted. Everything else he said was pretty solid.

@RendHeaven Well said. You are wise in the ways of the Spiral

I don't like having any sort of formal practice. I just contemplate all day on various topics.

I agree that getting some warm social circle experience would be ideal for guys if they've never had that. Otherwise, yeah they will probably be very cringey when they start to do pickup.

Green take on evolution:

You're confusing things. Yes, all beliefs are ontologically true in the sense that that occur in reality and therefore must be. But that is different from beliefs being "correct". Self-deception still occurs within reality. Just think about it.

You were already deceived. I just pointed it out to you. Being king of reality doesn't mean all your silly beliefs are now correct. Don't get it confused.

No, your perception is 100% reality. You can just still be self-deceived. Both are true. Your self-deception is ontologically still reality. But that does mean you're right. You are self-deceived that your perception of reality is not 100% reality.

You can still experience self-deception.

It is literally whatever you perceive.

This theory is badly wrong. Your perception of reality is exactly reality. Not an interface of any kind.

@Hojo you could just as easily claim the reverse. Near-sightedness = pulling your vision in, retracting from the world, hiding, fear Far-sightedness = relaxing into your field of vision, moving into the world, safety

And how do you ensure that your platonic social circle will even allow you to approach the women you want to date? Or that you don't give yourself golden handcuffs by placing yourself in the wrong kind of role? You have to think ahead about this kind of thing. It does not just happen. Again, you don't have to do "pickup". But you do need to plan and initiate conversations with people.

We did it guys we solved dating. Everyone get your meetup account ready and head down to your local dive bar, she's waiting.

You forgot lives a perfect wellness lifestyle, eschewing drugs and alcohol.

Don’t worry bro, she’s going to be at the book club meeting from Meetup.com

I’m not suggesting anyone should live this life. I don’t even myself. I’m pointing out realities of the modern dating world. Choose whatever life you feel is best. There’s also nothing exclusive to what I said about Miami. Any major city will have its version of this. Miami is just a bit more extreme than others. Whether you want to collect trophies or settle down and have a deep relationship, you still have to meet her.

Watch this if you want to challenge your fantasies about where the most attractive women are. This is the kind of thing your 10 is doing while you're at a dive bar having deep conversations with old people: https://youtu.be/qysTp512dfA?si=K3oe6NqveYJNAh-s

I agree getting the hottest women is not the problem for most guys. I don't even think they will succeed in that endeavor. I also agree that Joshe's advice was mostly fine. I don't really have a problem with what he said. I'm pointing out the limitations for the minority of guys who might be interested in that, and to disrupt any fantasies there are about dating the women typically considered the most attractive. If a guy thinks that going out to dive bar is going to get him the hottest women, that's a fantasy. And he needs to pop that. Also, I think you might be misunderstanding the order of operations for pickup. You do pickup precisely because you don't have a social circle and need to meet people. That's exactly what it was like when I moved to Miami. I knew absolutely no one, and so I had to approach a lot more people before I had the luxury of coasting off a group of friends. Because these guys are often socially awkward, they're not going to have a social circle. I've meet many of them. So are they supposed to just wait for a social circle to materialize? They have to initiate lots of conversations. You don't have to think about it as pickup per se. You could think about it as social circle building. But pickup is motivating for many guys. Young guys are mostly immature and aren't motivated by community. They want to meet women. That's the carrot for them. Also, often pickup becomes a great way to meet other guys in your local area. Your "pickup friends" become your actual friends, through the shared bond that is the hell of cold approach. Guys bond well when they have a challenge to tackle together. So there's the start of your social circle. I know guys who were originally "pickup friends" who are all friends years later and in each other's weddings. That's the kind of real bond you can form.

To be fair to him, I don't think his advice was meant to suggest it would attract the hottest girls. Just that it will get you laid and help you overcome social anxiety. Which I agree it could. Most guys are never going to seriously go after the most attractive women. And for good reason. They will not succeed.

I think your advice is good for most guys if they're just looking to overcome social anxiety and get laid a bit. It's a question of what your goals are. If you want the most attractive women, it's hard to escape going to nightclubs. These kind of women just don't go to local dive bars typically. They're usually at some exclusive section at a nightclub you can't even get into. And then after they're going to some private mansion party. Or she's working the club, and she's just going to go home after it closes and you're long gone. The competition curve for these women is not linear, it's hyperbolic. You're not longer competing with regular dudes, you're now competing with celebrities, professional athletes, influencers, high-level promoters, rich trust-fund kids, famous musicians, socialites, hospitality insiders, foreign billionaires etc. It's like going from playing football with your neighborhood friends to playing in the NFL. And yeah, most guys are never going to be able to play in the NFL. So you've got to know what's realistic for you. In that sense your advice is probably better. Succeeding in these kind of environments typically require you to build a social circle. Similar to how you did at your local bar, but now within those top nightclubs and other ancillary events associated with that social scene. So it's not just cold-approach pickup. Basically it's about applying the principles you suggested, but now in extreme high-status environments.

Courtney Ryan is also good to get a woman's perspective: Take advantage of her fashion advice as well if you're older, she has experience in that area.

No country is going to be able to take on unlimited climate refugees. There will be limited spots people will have to fight for.

ManTalks is solid: His whole channel is a good resource for building mature relationships from a masculine POV.