aurum

@helloWorld Your boyfriend is pissed because you beat him at judo and now he feels emasculated. Not saying you did anything wrong. Honestly he is being immature about it. But know that he is likely feeling like he just got his ego crushed. This is tricky because if you now try and do something obvious to reinforce his masculinity, it'll likely come across as even more emasculating to him. "I know I just whopped you in judo, but you're such a big man!" . At the same time, it would nice if you could just honestly communicate about this. I'm sure you don't see him as "less of a man" because of this, so it's largely just a misunderstanding. You might have to let him sulk for awhile before he's ready for a conversation.

What do you want? What do you want you life to be about? What do you love doing? It feels to me like you don't have quite a clear vision on where you're going. So these decisions seem arbitrary. It's like the Cheshire cat says in Alice and Wonderland. If you don't know where you're going, doesn't matter what direction you pick. So where are you going?

Yes that's right. This is what Elliot Hulse and other "make men strong again" promoters seem to be missing. Certainly, men can have repressed masculine energy. But from I see, the reason most men appear weak is because they haven't integrated their feminine. But because we associate femininity with weakness, anything that smacks of the feminine can't be the solution. It must mean we need more masculine energy.

I don't imagine I'd say anything initially. I'd just ask them if they wanted to join me for meditation, as that would largely answer their question. Many parents are extremely unconscious and therefore can't help but raise their children in a similar manner. Which then leads to even more unconscious parents. So that cycle certainly needs to be broken. Mainly, we need to listen to children more and validate their inner guidance / emotions. Just because they are a child doesn't mean Source isn't speaking to them. I also don't think the nuclear family is the ideal setup for child raising. It was never meant to be a two person job. Children are meant to be raised more communally. But most people can extremely defensive and protective about other people raising their kids. Schooling is tough because the education system is largely unconscious. At the same time, home schooling seems to have its own problems. Especially when it comes to children to exploring the world on their own and developing social skills. They can't just be around mom and dad all the time. Food is another area where we need to start teaching children to start listening to their body instead of just shoving food down their face. Especially since most food available in society is toxic and unreal. Admittedly this is all very theoretical. I don't have kids although I would like them. Perhaps after having kids I'll discover that I was filled with idealistic notions about parenting and how it would work. But I think anyone can see that there are changes that need to happen in the world of parenting.

I wrote a long respond in the previous locked thread, so I won't repeat myself here. But I will say that I agree with much of what you're saying. Pickup can be extremely objectifying and manipulative. I've seen things taught that could qualify as sociopathy. There's a general lack of empathy in the community so it's good that we also hear from women and their side of the story. I feel that pickup is attempting to replace missing male initiations in society. But it fails to do so because it cannot separate itself from the narratives our society is based on and the general toxicity of our culture. Reinstitute proper male initiations and PUA will disappear.

Yes! For one, we have to stop creating money with interest. The more money is created with interest, the more debt will accumulate. Second thing is you have to "destroy" money. Money = debt. That's how it's created. They're a flipside of the same coin. Cancel all debt tomorrow and all the money in the world would be gone. One potential way to "destroy" money would be to assign it negative interest. Over time, that money would decay and die. New money could then be created, but it would also decay and eventually die. Another option is that people need to go on some sort of debt strike. Decide that we want it canceled. Debt is just an agreement, it could be gone tomorrow if everyone agreed on it. Also, we are spending so much money on things that we should not be spending money on. Our priorities are all out of whack. Taxes can help too, although only so much.

Yesterday I was at a spiritual workshop where we were healing the divine feminine / masculine within us. As I was spilling my guys to a woman who was supposed to represent the divine feminine for me, I had talk about how distorted my view of femininity and women in general had become over the years. Because of all the negative experiences I had in the past, my perception was so biased against women. Pickup fit into that world view. It's a nuanced issue because on the one hand, I know how it can benefit guys. I was a part of that community for a while and it did help. But ultimately, it still presents a distorted form of sexuality / dating. What's even more interesting is that the feminine is so repressed, that even women don't always seem to realize it. They think this is normal and what healthy sexuality looks like. And certainly we don't need to moralize against people who engage in a more surface level form of dating. But I don't find it fits with my current world view. Pickup paints this picture that you are in charge of your dating life. Meeting a girl is an act of will that you can control. When in reality, I find that I meet a girl when the time is right. And most of the time it's not because of anything I "did". If anything, it's like the universe decides that it's time for us to meet. And when that happens, the most bizarre circumstances can bring you together. That timeline for that happening is also not necessarily on the "pickup" timeline. It could be fast, but it also could take a long time. It's not about being passive. It's about really listening to what you want and feels good. What you feel guided to do. Maybe that's approaching. But maybe it's nothing at all. In other words, there's a lot of "force" that goes on in pickup. Guys trying to force themselves to approach. Guys trying to force themselves to be attractive. Forcing everything. Maybe that's a useful paradigm for a while, but eventually you got to let that go. I don't doubt that there's a conscious way to teach guys how to meet women. But so far I've seen very little of it.

Yes it does. The individual self will be let go of when it’s time for that. When the person is ready. But notice how even this can be a trap. ”I cannot snap back into community or focus on art / beauty / consciousnesses yet. I need to learn more lessons.” Or ”I cannot snap back into community or focus on art / beauty / consciousness yet. I am not a millionaire. I have not achieved financial independence”. ^maybe that is part of the story that needs to be let go of. What if you are ready right now but you are telling yourself you’re not? What if financial independence is a total sham? Because let’s face it, when most people are talking about “meeting their survival needs”, that usually means money. What if the attempt to meet your financial needs as an individual is part of the problem?

@Tildae00 His analysis of the financial system is pretty spot on. He didn’t mentioned how interest bearing debt leads to an endless economic growth imperative. That’s a crucial piece of all this to leave out. But yes, banks make money out of nothing and it leads to wealth inequality. Socialism, in the marxist definition of the state seizing the means of production for an eventual communist revolution, is unlikely to happen. However, if we look at socialism as a general trend away from private property and more towards public, then yes socialism is coming. That is what a green economy looks like. A lot more sharing, and a lot less consumption / commodification. Potential solutions include things like making money a public creation instead of private, local currencies, demurrage currency, UBI, max wealth tax etc.

I appreciate your honesty. And I’m glad we’re talking about this because it’s important. Here is where my perspective differs. I’ve also been evicted. I’ve also seen the effects of poverty. I know what you mean when you say that “society doesn’t take care of people”. And certainly we do need systems like UBI, education, etc. I’m not dismissing that. What I’m saying is there needs to be a surrendering. The reason society doesn’t take care of people isn’t because it hasn’t tried. It’s precisely because we are so wrapped up in our survival needs. This is why Maslow’s needs distorts things. It paints this linear progression where one cannot be help unless they have adequately secured their own individual needs. It says “once I take care of me, THEN I’ll be of service. Then I’ll help.” But it’s precisely that mentality that puts us all in competition. It reinforces the separate self that must fight for itself. And we never get to that point of “enough”. In order to transition to a Green economy based on sharing and gift, individual needs must be surrendered to the collective. Ironically, this is how we will get our individual needs met. This is how people will be taken care of. Anyway, I think we agree for the most part. I’m making a subtle point. I appreciate you pushing back on my points.

I don’t doubt this is what cities do. And I don’t doubt that those things you just listed are essential. But from my perspective, it’s time to be less “practical”. Despite decades (centuries?) of humans focusing on their survival needs and trying to handle that “first”, it hasn’t succeeded. I have problem with the way many people use Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. It can create a situation where people believe they must constantly put off what they really care about for the sake of survival. This is the game the ego plays. Salvation will be in the future. Just a little bit more survival. That has to end. It’s time to do the things you really care about and live the life you want right now. I’m not saying things will change tomorrow or that these problems aren’t complex. I’m not saying to not care about economics or education. But if we care about art, start measuring it now. It’s time to make it a priority and not just some fluff thing that isn’t “as important”. And stop being so beholden to a system that tells us that’s not possible.

Love it. The potential is definitely there. As long as coronavirus sticks around it's practically a no-brainer. This is definitely something to be mindful of, which is why we have to have a holistic approach with UBI. In theory we may get to a point where those social services could be cut. But this will only happen if strong communities and decentralized, local economies have taken hold. As long as things are centralized the welfare state is necessary.

@SS10 Sacred Economics by Charles Eisenstein Less is More by Jason Hickel Terra Nova by Dieter Duhm Operating Manuel for Spaceship Earth by Buckminster Fuller The Best Money Can't Buy by Jacque Fresco The Collapse of Complex Societies by Joseph Tainter

@Luc1nda The problem with tech is that it has been co-opted by the ego. Thus, much of our tech is low consciousness and does not serve the well-being of the Whole. The good news is that higher consciousness tech does seem possible. After all, building tech is a Gift that humanity has been given. We're really good at it. But that skill, that gift, must now be directed properly towards service. So I don't use much tech right now. Most high tech items are probably my iphone and a laptop. But honestly, if I felt I could reasonably get rid of those, I would. I don't feel they inherently bring me joy, it's more of a societal obligation to have at this point.

@yangmilun I would say the ones you listed are good. But keep in mind, being higher consciousness will not automatically stop you from participating in low consciousness systems. New systems are going to take time to develop.

Sure those sound good. And we could implement many others I'm sure. For instance, if we value beautiful art as a society, why isn't that somehow measured? Why not include that in the criteria of success? How about increase in community or family time? Or an increase in people expanding their consciousness? In other words, what do we really value? Like actually? Not some bullshit like GDP. That is meaningless. We need to determine what we really value and measure that. At the same time, we need to understand that any metric of success is still going to fall far short of encapsulating the success of a policy. We have to accept that some things just can't be quantified. And many of those things are what matter the most.

@NatureB Cannot wait to see UBI enacted in a place like NY. If it's successful, that's a game changer. Keep in mind we have to understand what it means for a policy like UBI to be successful. Criteria of success is huge. If we assume success of a UBI means that NY expands its economy, likely politicians will be disappointed and claim it "didn't work". But if we understand that the purpose of UBI is a disruption of wage slavery and people being forced to participate in exploitative systems, now we have a much different measure of success. And this might be more difficult to quantify. Can we quantify how much beautiful artwork might be produced because artists are no longer so strapped for cash? Can we quantify how valuable that is? How beautiful it is? We may make attempts, but ultimately we will have to see that the success of UBI will not be seen in many numbers. It will be in the difference of people's hearts. Of course, UBI is also not a panacea. That's another trap. But I do see it as one potential crucial piece of the puzzle.

@Renee_7777 We have to recognize that the lack of connection we may be experiencing is not just an isolated, individual problem. It's a collective, societal problem involving everyone all at once. Millions of people are feeling disconnected and that cannot be chalked up to individual dysfunction. That's a total system failure.

Well as long as you know . I'd recommend club promoter, bartender or photographer as a career choice. Don't get herpes.

Depends on how conscious the couple is. The more conscious they are, the more likely they are to genuinely care. Technically you're right. You could be a toxic, egotistical fuckboy and still get a girlfriend. But if your only reason not to be toxic is to get a girlfriend, that's quite a toxic point of view.

Interesting that this thread has evolved into more of a general discussion about how necessary social connection is. My perspective is that shadow forms of socializing do exist. But no amount of enlightenment is going to remove your need for social connection. And in fact, when we don't have our social needs met in a healthy way, that's when the shadow forms of socializing start to appear. However, we can view connection as a need that goes much deeper than just between humans. I can be connected to the trees. To the sky. To literally all of existence. It's not something just found between humans. So the next step for humanity is not only to heal our relationships with each other, but to heal our relationship with everything.

Assuming those actually are the "top girls" you should be looking to attract (they're not), the answer is yes and no. The absolute biggest reason why you will not date those girls is because you're not a part of her world. You don't go to the same events that she goes to. You don't shop where she shops. You don't have the same friends that she has. You probably don't even live in the same city she lives in. Really think about this. How often do you even meet a girl that looks like what you're talking about? The answer for most guys almost never. So even if you were super fit with super tight game and money and all this, unless you are a part of her world, it's highly unlikely it'll ever happen. This is why guys who are photographers can do really well with these kind of girls. Maybe they don't make the most money or anything like that, but they're in the world of modeling. And so they're meeting these girls constantly, especially the bigger their brand gets. So really it's more about being in the right place, the right environment and knowing the right people. And it's not that difficult to do. I was chasing these girls for a while living here in Miami and had some success. Once you've made the right connections it can happen really fast. It snowballs. This advice also applies to any kind of girl you're looking to attract. Not just models or whatever. If you're looking for spiritual yoga girls, are you a part of the world of a girl who lives like that? So really I find it's better to just be centered in your values. Because then you'll meet the right kind of girls who also resonate with what you resonate. Rather than trying to distort your values to what you think a girl might want.

@levani There's a book called The Charisma Myth that's decent. Just spend a lot more time in social situations, especially around people who you already consider charismatic. They'll rub off on you. And then also just do the inner work, e.g shadow work, trauma release, etc.

@Christdas Hilarious, but this is actually how it happens for a lot of pickup guys. This is how fuck boys are born. You take a guy who was used to be feeling burned and used and then they flip it around and treat girls like shit. Not saying it's healthy. It's just what I see happens.

@Scholar I agree it gets dysfunctional at times. I would to see more examples of non-violent communication between people on here. Especially when it comes to these polarizing topics. At the same time, you'll be hard pressed to find any community that doesn't suffer from the same problems at times. We're not very good at relationships yet.