CultivateLove

@Scholar Now we're talking. My brother, I can see and understand your compassion for animals, I can see it makes you hurt when you realize that others are contributing to their suffering and death. I will think about what you have said, but I cannot assure you that it will change my decision in the near future, but I will definitely keep it an open possibility in the future when my life circumstances are different. The thing is, I got one foot in love, and another in ego. Even though I may say hurtful things, deep down I still wish you nothing but growth & prosperity, and I know that. But it frustrates me when I try to make my point as clear as I can, and somebody responds in a way that clearly demonstrates that they for whatever reason feel they can judge me harshly without first even understanding where I'm actually coming from. Seek first to understand, then to be understood. It's not easy, but it's true. Yeah, my heart closed at an early age to protect itself and stayed that way most of my life, it's a work in progress, but there's a lot of work to be done, I wasn't exactly dealt the best hand at life, but I'm doing the best I can with it.

If it's anything like you attempted in this thread, then it really comes as no surprise. When you straw-man and misinterpret someone's whole point, they're very unlikely to listen to what you have to say or have any respect for you, you know why? Because they feel un-heard, judged and disrespected. What goes around comes around. Those are empty words, you have done nothing to show that you actually understand, in fact you've done the opposite, and most of my response to you was correcting things you obviously misunderstood. And again, you're making personal assumptions about me that you have no place to make, just makes you look over-confident in your own beliefs. Then change your behavior, don't give me these cheap words, although I'm sure the intention behind them are pure, you have a lot of embodiment to live up to the moral standards you preach.

@Scholar Telling how? Can you elaborate? Can you point out something "telling" that I couldn't throw directly back at you?

1. There are more problems I experienced with veganism diet other than bloating, but I'm sure there's only so much room in your strawman. 2. I'm sure this doesn't apply for the entire world, but at least in Iceland and in Denmark, animal's throats are not cut as they are conscious, they are put to sleep. But again, I'm sure your little strawman figure doesn't have room for nuance. 3. Those fish weren't waiting for their pension and a cozy retirement, you know that right? Most of them would be ripped apart and eaten alive if they hadn't been caught in a net. Plus, all I do is eat 2x omega tablets a day, which helps me with mental clarity, and I come from a long line of scandinavian ancestry so my body is actually more reliant on it than most other people, are you really going to argue that I should sacrifice a piece of my mental clarity, which is my MOST VALUABLE asset in life, for a change that would account for less than a microscopic drop in a gigantic bucket? Sane like you? Idk, to me you just seem like a bleeding heart who either intentionally mis-interpreted and/or leaving out 99% of what I said for the sake of egoic reasons like "being right", or you just don't have the mental processing power to take in the different nuances of my argument, in which case your vegan diet may not be working as well as you think it is. I do, but judging by the way you're framing your 'point', it seems you do not realize that it doesn't matter if you go fully vegan and spend your entire life fighting for animal rights, you are STILL living through each and every possible incarnation that could possible ever exist, including all the brutally killed and tortured animals. There is NOTHING you can do to change it. If you're just going to keep making straw-man arguments and making personal attacks and use moral highgrounding as a substitute for actual nuanced thinking, then don't expect another reply from me, and don't expect to ever change anyone's mind, you just come across at best a bleeding-heart airhead radical vegan, and at worst intentionally maliscous jerkbag who straw-mans other people's points for the sake of something petty like "being right" and "winning and argument". In either case, change your demeanor or piss off.

Stastistically 9/10 people enjoy group rape

This is something I've struggled with for some time because over time it's becoming easier for me to see other people's shadows, insecurities, and traumas, without them telling me or even being aware of them themselves. This has created a dilemma in my mind between The part that wants to maintain harmony and peace in the relationship, and not wanting to cause emotional turmoil in the other person and knock them off balance. It can be tough to admit a deep trauma or insecurity to yourself and others, especially if you begin to realize that it's more obvious to other people than yourself since it can arise deeper feelings like embarrassment, shame, self-loathing, anger etc. And it can be hard to evaluate who is and isn't ready for that. The part that realizes that true healing cannot occur without first becoming aware of what the problem is, and that sometimes tough love is the better option, even if it can hurt in the beginning. Then there's the simple fact that it's much simpler and less time consuming to get a person to like you by simply appealing to their insecurity and trauma by telling them what they want to hear, and avoiding certain topics that would make them uncomfortable. This is obviously the simpler and safer option but it will rarely result in anything but low-hanging-fruit type of rewards. How can I find a balance between these conflicting desires?

@Nahm @Jo96 I wasn't exactly super excited about the idea the first few times I heard it, but after skimming over the dreamboard thread and hearing people's positive experiences, it's been growing on me. I think it's time for me to give the dream board thing a go, too!

@herghly

Totally agree, but I've never been one to seek for people's approval for the sake of it, it doesn't mean anything to me if I gained it through being "formal" and "polite", my most valued and stable relationships to this day were built on honesty, not surface-level people pleasing. Also agree, even though it took a while to get that through my sometimes thick skull This is what I've been doing with my close friends and family, and it has been showing results, but as you say, it's a process that takes time and patience. I haven't looked into this deliberately, but I've been having more of these types of conversations lately, and both me and the people I've had them with have many insights, sometimes even life-changing insights. I will definitely research this more and gain a deeper understanding and mastery. True, but I've found in my experience, that most of the insights and conclusions the other person comes to in these talks are things that I've been subtly trying to point out to them. I'm no psychic, but sometimes the solution to something is a lot simpler than getting the person to realize that it's simple. It's true, I have not fully transcended ego-centrism in well, any area of my life I think. I do get some sort of feel-good, fulfillment type of feeling if I can help somebody with something, whether it's talking through emotional baggage, presenting a healthier way to look at things, or find simple solutions to seemingly complex problems from their perspective, but I'm aware of that and try not to get "my emotional fix" out of people by just trying to solve their problems, it gets tiring pretty quick for both parties. But if they come to me with issues, I'm happy to be there to listen and give my thoughts on it, this type of scenario almost always goes well. Yeah it's funny how that works, by letting go of the need for the person to change, the person becomes more open to change, because they feel accepted and therefor more safe when sharing something personal, potentially embarrassing and vulnerable, in these times I do my best to be as non-judgmental and open as I can, which makes them feel more safe to be open about things in the future. Yeah I've noticed this myself, if I have expectations on how the other person should change in some aspect, they will likely fail for some reason and then beat themselves up over it and feel judged, which I'm not an advocate for, I know there are many "break them down and built them up" types when it comes to helping people but from what I've observed that type of "helping" is very myopic and ego-centric. This is always priority #1, can't help others if your own batteries are running low, you'll just be the blind leading the blind. Thanks for the thought out answer man, appreciate it!

I'm on the middle road of this. Up until I was 18, like most people, I ate what was given to me, and what I found to be cheap, tasty and convenient, which a lot of the time was some type of dish with meat or animal products. But then psychedelic mushrooms happened, and not long after that, I stumbled upon videos exposing the meat and dairy business, which lead me reading articles to get an ever clearer understanding of how truly fucked up it is, so I went cold turkey on all meat and animal products for about two years, with the exception of fish oil tablets, and the occasional holiday visits at my aunts, which honestly, was such an amazing cook that I simply couldn't resist letting myself go for that day, but then I'd go back to the vegan life. Going vegan did help with some things like: Clearing up my skin (I think, could have been age-related too, I was at that age) Cleared up some of the brain fog I was experiencing, could focus better at school, grades improved, video game performance improved Blood pressure dropped, cardio improved The negatives, however... A lot of bloating, around the first 6 months of transition I was burping and farting at a championship level, and not all farts were to be trusted, it got better with time but kept being a problem. Less tolerance to cold, which is a problem if you live in Iceland, unless you can afford high-quality clothing for many different types of bad weather, which neither I nor my parents did. Physical strength/power decreased. Meals took more effort to make, and I'd have to prepare them more often on top of that. Veggies and fruits spoil quite fast, so you can't just buy them in bulk, you have to constantly replenish. I'd eat a lot, and feel full & bloated, but I wouldn't feel satiated. I felt like something was missing. Despite experimentation and trying different stuff that people said helped them, I never found the solution. After around two years of being vegan, I got kind of fed up with it and also started hearing about ethical farmers who don't abuse their animals, but instead let them live free-range and grass-fed as they were meant to be, so after a quick internet research I found that there was a chicken farm just 30 minutes drive away from where I lived (I had been living in Denmark for a few months at this time), so I went to see it for myself, and I could clearly see that these chickens were genuinely healthy and stress-free, and the area they lived in was actually beautiful. So that is when I started incorporating eggs into my diet, usually in the mornings. I found this helped a lot with hunger-stability, mood stability, mental stability and strength, which is useful if you work in construction. The only negative I experienced was that some of my farts were deadly for a couple ofnths but then it stopped. But ever since then, have been buying my eggs from that farm, and occasionally a chicken. Not long after that, I was talking to my dad about my experience and he mentioned a farm back in Iceland that I used to visit as a kid, a sheep farm specifically, owned by relatives of ours, which had the same mindset when it came to farming, which is to not induce unnecessary suffering upon the animals and let them live free-range in nature. So I contacted them and long story short turns out they were happy to send me meat to Denmark every now and then, so since then I've been buying from them regularly once every two months, it's a little more expensive but the quality of the meat is unquestionably better. That's where I'm currently at, I use fish-oil for supplementation, eggs for breakfast and sometimes chicken or lamb for lunch/dinner, and the rest is mainly fruits, veggies and nuts, with a little bit of oats and seeds. I have yet to hear a reasonable enough argument to get me to consider cutting these things out at this point in my life, because of the variety of health benefits I've experienced, and the fact that most of my problem with the meat industry is the cruel treatment of the animals during their lifespan, not the killing itself, especially after getting the existential fear of death mostly out of my head after listening to Leo for a couple hundred hours and other spiritual teachers talking about how death is not the end, that in fact it's just an illusion, it's nothing to be afraid of, in fact it's a blessing in disguise, or grace. You could argue that before they die, they can be very scared, which is probably true in some cases, but probably not as much as you would think, depending on where you live of course, but I know that here in Denmark there are clear regulations on how animals are slaughtered, and all of the slaughterhouses in Denmark MUST have animal doctors to ensure they are followed. Also, reducing fear/stress in the animal is in the slaughter-houses own best interest because it is known that if that the animal is filled with fear hormones upon it's death, the meat looks different, it's more tense, therefor harder to work with, and doesn't taste as good.

@Preety_India My mom loves me with all her heart, but I'd be lying if I said she hasn't hurt me deeply in the past, and vice versa. It's not because she didn't love me or I didn't love her, it was because of a lack of wisdom. If you love somebody, you open up the possibility of being hurt, because you care about what that person thinks and feels deeply. Then there's also just the possibility of losing someone or something you love deeply, which is one of the worst pains you can feel in this life. Yet, it's all worth it, even if one doesn't understand it. There have been several periods in my life where love caused me so much pain that I didn't feel like living anymore, I only kept going because killing myself would cause those who love me so much pain, and I just couldn't do that to them. So it's love that pushed me into hell, and it's love that brought me back out, and it's because of love that I can see it's all worth it in the end, but I definitely wasn't always able to, so I totally get why love terrifies people because it can truly be terrifying and excrusiating.

Well, love can hurt like hell too. Accepting love is bliss isn't always so easy if you're experiencing the rough side of it.

I started playing Starcraft 2 again recently and I found it really helps with my focus, managing many things at once while strategizing against what your opponent is doing is quite the brain workout. I wouldn't say it's high consciousness like deep contemplation, meditation, self-inquiry etc, but I can say for certain it will bleed into your life positively if you play to win and while playing in moderation.

I'm no expert nor have I ever seen you fapping, but it sounds like you could be tensing up and breathing shallow while masturbating, which will mess you up and cause tightnesses and imbalances over time, especially in your groin, hip, and midsection, which will then affect your breathing and thus your mind even more, causing the problem to loop in on itself. If you haven't, I recommend you look into a book called The Multi-Orgasmic Man, which is all about how to utilize your magic rod effectively (It's not as simple as it seems at first). You could of course just go with abstaining for a while and see if that helps, but let's not kid ourselves, I don't think anyone in this thread is going to completely stop anytime soon, That alone is probably not going to be enough though, you're gonna have to work on releasing that tension somehow, which varies on a lot of different factors like your diet, sleep, how you sit, stand and sleep etc, but I can list a few things that worked well for me. Sensory deprivation tank Saunas / Cold shower rotation (Hydrate well too). Yoga Body awareness in general, conscious relaxation, paired muscle relaxation / yoga nidra (same thing different name). Dancing, shaking, hip/groin trauma releases Breathing exercises like alternate nostril breathing, Wim Hof Method

What RSD course did you spend 6k on?

"I hope that makes you feel more understood" ... ... ... Do you actually believe there's a chance that that's the way someone feels after saying something like that to them? And if so, can you maybe describe the process that lead to that though/belief? I would be very interested.

Check out the last segment of this video titled 'Meditation'. It's tailored towards exactly the problem you're facing. Edit: I noticed the segments don't show on the play-bar on this forum, so you either have to watch it on the actual YouTube site or just skip to 1:44:00

I'm not really sure what to expect. I've heard good things about this guy from 3 different sources, none of them related to each other, and there's the plus that he's from Iceland like me (I live in Denmark now), and he's gone through some shit in his life too, which is a plus for me because I don't think a "normie" would be able to relate with someone who's been through as much sh*t as me at all. Any input would be appreciated.

@fruits Wow, the world and I are truly in your debt.

I'm sure it has absolutely nothing to do with your attitude.

@Johnny5 That video hit me harder than I expected it would, it made me realize just how deeply traumatizing my relationship with my mother was in childhood by that comfort & safety being stripped away when she became cold, distant, controlling and very conditionally loving, in a time where I was being bullied in school and needed love & comfort the most.

Maybe it pretty much boils down to how much of your shadow you're willing or capable to face at once

It's going great! I started again very slowly, but then have gradually been adding more as I've felt more ready to do so. It's a balancing act, the ego still has its not-so-high-consciousness desires, and I can't just ignore those without causing an ego-backlash, and at the same time I'm becoming increasingly more aware that the "new way" of doing things (more like going back to the source) gives way more joy, laughter, fulfillment, energy, connection, understanding etc etc My whole life has been a lesson in energy work / yoga Health is pretty high on my core values, even though I've slipped and hurt myself a few times. I read books, watch videos, I've gone to a few yoga classes (It shut down soon after I started due to Corona), and I experiment on my own. I've always been quite an independent person so I feel pretty comfortable not having official guidance.