StarStruck

I'm trying to be open and be myself but everything I'm being myself I fuck up like I wrote in the OP. Me being open and honest means no sex/no gf. I will focus on shadow work and see what happens. There are so many moving parts that I don't know where to focus on. For example: should I text her to ask which part of the conversation that night she was serious and which part she was just holding me on a string? I want to know if she really wants me as a long term FWB/gf. I wanted to send this question out of honest/openness. I thought about this question for a minute and I discovered that if I do that I will continue to set the boyfriend frame, instead of the fuckboy frame (lightness and fun). This is what I mean. Being honest and open doesn't work for me. I wish I could. Meeting girls in a public space is impossible other than day game and gym. My creepiness/neediness is because I don't have a lot of options. Doing massive amount of day game in my own city is creepy but I will have no option.

Fuck that mystical shit that I said. I was high as a kite when I wrote that. And me being high fucked everything up in the first place. I held everything together until I decided to smoke a spliff. I will do what you said though. Yesterday she apologized for being emotionally closed off (although she wasn't) and that she forgot to text me when she arrived back home. Currently I'm stressed but not really stressed she didn't give me sex. She opened up a can of worms by dating me as an incel. Emotionally I feel attached to her because she pulled me out of my incel-hood. She is in no way long term gf material. I'm just emotionally fucked right now because this date put me out of complacency/apathy. I even had thoughts of suicide which is ridiculous, especially because she is no long term gf material.

Thanks for the advice. Does she have a program or just videos? I would like to know which videos to search for. Yesterday, the day after, she contacted me and apologized for not opening herself up. She said she would like to see me again. After that we didn't text that much. I'm afraid she will just give me pitty sex. Thank you for your advice, guys. I took notes and I will implement them this week.

@Martin123 Thanks for the resources and quiz. I have been thinking about this topic for the last two days. I decided to make notes of this topic and stop thinking about it otherwise I'm going to go insane over a loose woman. To summarize my feelings towards her: I would never settle down for her. She admitted she had sex with every guy she went home with. This was the thing that hit my ego so hard. For me she was my real first date. For her she was the first guy she didn't have sex with after going home with him. For the coming time, I'm just going to do some approaches and do shit ton meditation. Are you serious about it or is it a joke? I forced myself on her and she rejected me. I didn't want to continue forcing myself when she gave clear instructions not to do so. I forced myself on her in the kitchen when she was washing my dishes And I pulled her towards me couple of times but she didn't want to come on the sofa At one point when I said: "Fuck you" after the teased me. She said "fuck me then". Then I just rolled my eyes. Perhaps that was the only window of opportunity and I missed it.

@Parththakkar12 I resonate with that. How are you going to feed your emotional starvation? In my opinion it is a bottomless hole. Perhaps trauma release but that obviously didn't work out for me.

You recommended shadow work previously. I have been busy with that and just started listening to my shadow parts more. That kind of screwed me up I think. It was also definitely the weed I think. At the moment I'm looking down so much on my social life. I didn't know how to connect with people and last night date was just like a punch in my face. Obviously the problem for my incel life, isn't, aren't girl(s), or other people, the problem is in me. It kind of drives me crazy. Everything seems so easy for others. For me everything is difficult and the reason for that is that I'm making it difficult.

It was directed to me and I didn't find it offensive. It was what I needed to hear.

I didn't find it offensive that Leo called me gay. I felt extremely vulnerable because of the cannabis and I acted like a weak man. All my pain bodies were activated. I don't what I was thinking but this is so typical me fucking up a clear shot. I'm really trying hard to not beat myself up about it. This girl was such a stunner but she admittedly has psychological issues and only is attracted to bad boys. She ain't going to fuck a weak ass man.

@wavydude @Proserpina You were right. This morning I got a message with her saying it was a nice date and that we didn't match on points, but she could be open to meet again (perhaps). So it is very likely she doesn't want to meet again. Anyway, in this topic I got some real good advice. I appreciate it a lot. I couldn't sleep a lot last night and this topic gave me perspective. I just need to accept what happened and learn the lessons: Just focus on fun & games during the first dozen times Just fit in; don't bring up trauma's or any other kind of negativity Empathy for myself; meet myself at where I'm. Not be creepy or a weirdo Only way to be that is just to expose myself to social situations more. Extra info: I know how stupid this is going to sound. This is something I didn't mention in my OP. I smoked weed last night and that kind of made my creepy/weird. When I read what I wrote last night and think about how I acted, I'm kind of ashamed.

@DreamScape I appreciate the experience. For the record: I didn't intend to share personal sensitive topics; it just happened; she teased it out (I know it sounds weird) This girl is a smart girl. She wants to become a surgeon. She had a lot of boyfriends so I don't really have intension of wifing her up. This whole interaction just made me doubt myself. I can't really be myself because being myself means fucking up. Just having fun and games for the first dozen dates; it is easily said, as an incel it is not easily carried out. I don't know how to do just fun and games.

@DreamScape @Leo Gura this was really my first real date. I was really blind so I'm not kicking myself too much. It is just so typical of me to fuck up another "first time" of something. From dozens of guys; I'm the guy who fucks it up with this girl. Damn, that hurts. I'm not going to lie. When I step back and look back, I'm just thankful for the reference experience. It exposed my shadow parts. I mean, she could have chosen not to come at all. She drove to me and back which took 2 hours of her time. I got my first date behind my back. I just need to learn how to have fun and games with girls and not be serious. I mean, to be honest, I tried to be just fun and games but one thing lead to another and I turned into a bitch to be honest. I can kind of get she didn't want to fuck me. This might be the reason I don't have a lot of friends too; I'm taking stuff too serious and not having fun. To be fair; at I moment when we are laying down on the sofa she was teasing me and I was teasing her back. I told her "fuck you", and she told me "fuck me then". I missed that window of opportunity. At this point I don't even care about sex. I need to learn to be a strong man. Sex will just be a product of being a strong man.

@Leo Gura I know the red pill theory so I know how I fucked up. I should have stayed with fun and games but that is hard when you are an incel. I need to drop that role. I don't know how to deal with my inner voice popping up bringing up sensitive stuff. I was trying to use no filter because I'm an introvert and I'm thinking too much. I was just trying to be in the moment and expressing what came up during the date. Naturally sensitive stuff came up and I just shared it: bad idea. In retrospect, this was a awful. In the beginning I had a clear shot for sex and after the shared sensitive stuff she lost interests. I can clearly see this. I don't know how to deal with a similar situation in the future though. Perhaps having a filter is not bad after all. I just need to learn to regulate the honesty filter better, I guess? I mean, it is hard to have fun and games with her, when trauma is coming up.

For an incel it is a good start. I know how it sounds. If I speak for myself: it is hard as fuck to build meaningful relations when I'm needy as fuck. Thirst is not really chosen. You can't tell a guy who is thirsty for 10+ years to stop being it. When he finally gets some water he will go ape shit. That is just what happens. For me as an incel I know the answer is inside. Probably my toxic mother is the reason for my skewed view on dating. I feel like I don't have an option. I can only authentically express my thirst so I can observe myself and make a change. Currently have a FWB which is developing into something more. If I didn't act on my thirst, I wouldn't even get out of my incel bubble. That is what I think but I could be wrong.

Just wait until you hit 30/40 year old age, and you begin to lose your looks. Good luck being the 40 year old at parties. lol

I did week 1 of this program and it is amazing. I thought it was only about creating charisma, social status and social proof but it is surprisingly holistic and spiritual. This guy knows what he is talking about. I'm excited about this product. I will keep you updated if some are interested. I added a picture of his whole system. I'm wondering if he invented that model or if he borrowed it from somewhere?

Recently got a real gf as an incel and all I can say. Just take the leadership and be like water trying to find its way to her pants. All you need is one girl to show you the way and you will look back and see how much you fucked up. I always thought finding a girl was 50% effort from my side and 50% from her side. It is true to some extend but you need to set the frames and move the relationship forward. Having said that. If I wanted to get some other girls I still would need to put in the work. I just have a better perspective and know how to use my energy and time more effective. I'm trying to get into social proof game. As somebody said on this forum. It is the natural way of getting a gf. Unfortunately I'm not good at my making friends and creating a social circle. I made a topic about that and I'm working on it.

I find it hard to understand this woman I'm dating. We met through a forum and she is a gorgeous woman. 1.In the beginning we just wanted to hookup. 2.Then things become more serious. 3. Afterwards she started openly flirting with other men on the forum (to make me jealous?) 4. I confronted her with that and she said it wasn't serious but I lost a little bit respect for her and my sexting became a little bit extreme And now she said she "wants to be treated as a lady" while we are just FWB. It was clear from the beginning. Never lied about that. I mean, she is very considerate, smart and compensionate so the fight was settled very quickly but I kind of stunted by her mindset. Questions: This girl has another FWB, so I don't want her as my partner, I just want her as a FWB too. How can I be that? On the forum I see she is attracted to dominant types. Did I fell into the simp category?

Not all incels are that extreme. Most incels are very innocent and just want love and affection. Their emotional baggage makes things very difficult. I consider myself a light weight incel. I didn't really chose to be an incel. I don't have any radical views on women. I look average to above average. I just don't know how to talk/vibe with people because of my past trauma's. Most people are very harsh on incels understandibly. Most of them are overcompensating, trying to catch up with all the things they missed in life. It is hard to understand them if you had a normal upbringing.

I read that it is one of the most important choices a man can make. Choosing a partner can really make your life a heaven or a hell. I would love to hear Leo's idea's about this topic and how he chose his life partner (if he even has one). Recently he mentioned he had a gf. What were the criteria? Did he even have criteria? If I speak for myself, because of my social handicaps, I don't have a lot of options with dating. It has nothing to do with how I look because I look above average. Perhaps he could combine the advice for this topic with the video he promised to make about picking up women.

@Roy believe me. I would do it if I could and not blink. I'm not proud on it. I don't want to give too much info if you know what I mean. I wish I could skip that stage.

Damn. I missing out on life. Yes, I'm a wannabe stage orange. I do feel sad for the boyfriends and husbands.

Ok, I digress. The question that popped into my head was this: why would they tease us? If they are so smart, they surely wouldn't let themselves get caught with their pants down. Perhaps they are trying to socially engineer us, and if they are really aliens, they could take the form of humans and be amongst us.

I invite you to be more open-minded. 200 years ago an atom bomb would seem not human-made and impossible.

I'm aware it is just the ego. My trying to latch on this girl because it is a rare commodity for my ego. I know I have to work on my insecurities and in particular let my ego lose up but that is easier said than done. I'm doing shadow work at the moment and I'm hoping for the best. Currently being paranoid she will leave me and trying not to act like a total fool. That would just make her repulse.

@Mikael89 new secret tech by China can appear impossible to us