StarStruck

@Dwarniel thank you for the advice. My problem is a matter of impulse control. I know all the negatives of too much porn, both for the watcher and for the performers. If I feel bad about myself I use porn to treat myself to cure the moment and after that I feel even worse. @Heart of Space he was a good guy.. before his psychosis. He is an example of what can go wrong. @Carl-Richard I really can't limit my usage to for example once a week. It is comparable to an alcoholic person who can't be happy with 1 glass of beer.

What are good sources? I want to do it in conjunction with a therapist. Probably do it the day before my therapy and use therapy to integrate.

It is still very rainy couldn't do many approaches. I did one approach with an eastern european girl. She was following me. I said "are you following me?".. She said "you wish".. She was playful and unfortunately I couldn't match her playfulness. In the conversation I was very serious and the attraction was quickly lost. The problem is that I didn't know how to be playful with such a stunning east European girl. Recently I decided to burn every set down so I pushed by asking forced questions. I was all over the place. I even touched her and she wasn't very hostile, she rejected me but in a playful way. There was no harshness from her side. I couldn't even force her to outright reject me. She was approaching her friend and I said "shit, I'm not prepared for this shit". I quickly asked her number and she didn't say no. She thought about it and I think she didn't want to come off as an easy girl with her friend seeing us. I joked to her friend "hi, I'm her new boyfriend". They liked that comment and I tried to engage but I didn't want to go out of my comfort zone too much. This approach was purely experimental to see how much I could do out of my comfort zone! These are the things I discovered: if I develop game I'm good enough for these girls, I need to be playful and drop the seriousness. It is easier said than done, I really have to change how I think to be playful instead of being serious. I caught myself getting really pissed off at myself for not being good at this. This is really not the way. I can't punish or push myself into being playful and light-hearted. I really have to stop treating myself like my parents treated me. It is really counter-intuitive but being nice to myself instead of punishing myself will really help me (developing a better relationship with myself) and my cause (getting girls)! If there is one thing I discovered today: game is as much emotional, than mental! Emotional labor creates real change!

I still have to read Osho. Which is a good book to begin with?

Understanding how the human psychology works is key before taking psychedelics. One really needs to become a therapist or even more knowledgeable than a therapist before playing with the BIOS of your mind.

If there are kids involved, people make the sacrifice. It is very main stream if you look at the statistic. Usually it is one of the two who get fat, the woman not getting wet or guy not interested in a fat chick, both are miserable but they stay together because of the kids.

After such videos I kind of get discouraged to take psychedelics but I'm so prepared for psychedelics, I don't know what I can do more. At the same time, Conner seemed like such a smart and intelligent guy, he was definitely not the dumbest guy around the block. He broke and fried his brain. For the last 3 months I studied psychology and now I'm balls deep studying psychedelics but I'm going back and forth if I should wait or not wait with the dive.

@Heart of Space what do you like about him? @Hulia there are good about this on the book list

A lot of relationships end in a no sex zone and people stay together for the kids but in new relationships sex is important.

Nihilism is a product of an empty heart. Nihilism is not rocket science. It is a lack of feeling in one's life. Feelings are really the thing that keep you alive; feelings cause you to move and not be stationary. I still have to watch the video though. The videos are so long.

Chakras don't exist and buddhists don't say chakras exist. It is a way of understanding the body and the mind. It is the means, not the end.

@Strangeloop make a distinction between what is going on in your head and what the reality is. If you stop thinking all your problems will disappear but that is no solution. You need to put your energy towards taking action and if you don't know what action to take you need to figure that out.

It is not meat. Stop calling it meat. Just because you make it look like it doesn't make it meat.

@Leo Gura Erdogan is doing it for internal politics. He is down in the polls and he is trying to consolidate the Muslim vote this way. It is not serious. For outsiders it might seem that way. No way Erdogan can win the elections again. He destroyed the turkish economy. @Gregp

In the first time of my life I did a direct approach in the gym. She asked me a question about a device and I thought that was an invitation. I chatted her up. I was done with my workouts and I thought I would ask her number so we could work together. She had a bf. I don't know if this is true but it really hurt. It was not even the emotional pain but my teary eyes that she could see. It was embarrassing. This is part of pickup. This is emotional labor. This is how one creates anti fragility.

Having a playboy grin is very important in PUA. This is how I would describe the grin This grin is not forced. It is a state of being. It requires complete relaxation. It is a true expression of your being. It is an expression of arrogance but you still have both feet in the ground This grin is not only a physical expression on your face but also a mentality. When your body assumes the grin, your psyche will follow It portrays strong ego, rejection doesn't hurt when having this grin, it doesn't penetrate you The mindset: You are OK with her liking you or not. You couldn't care less. This grin is the physical anchor of this mindset

For people that are not convinced

I'm already doing all the right things; gym, exercise, meditation, concentration exercises... It is just that my resistance is very fragile at certain times. Espcially when I'm down about something. Read the book "Your brain on Porn". It is really a must read if you are doing no fap. My porn addiction is really at the root of all my life problems like I explained in the original post. If your brain being wired to porn instead of flesh and blood women is huge problem for you, you need to go balls to the wall. A lot of motivation is needed. Rally yourself up. Some say my porn addiction is not the cause but the effect of something. I think it is a combination. Watching porn is so easy. With couple of clicks you get the best looking girls so why go out and chat girls right? I did chat up some blonde hottie the other day and she ghosted me right after. I think that was the trigger.

I will be using these sources for my healing

Imagine taking that burden and having that on your conscious..

Which meditation technique do you recommend while doing 2 weeks of hardcore mediation?

I'm set on doing 90 days no pmo. At this point I really have to go hardcore no fap. I'm so pissed off right now. In the past I had ED with girls and it is directly linked to pmo. I really need to fix this shit. I have been postponing it for 5 years.

Good looks gives you the illusion that looks is all you need. For some people it does work out but after a while they get old and lose their looks and their ego just collapses which they can't handle.

@Manusia if shit gets real, it feels like the turbulence in my body gets unmanageable. I go to the gym but I can't go to the gym all the time. I really become fearless so it is good for pickup but I'm too focused on sex which is not good.

I'm really not in the mood to do pickup right now. I went to the city and I noticed that I don't want to go out of my way to approach which means not approaching most of the time. I did one approach. It was a girl with crazy shoes. I did an unusual approach which is a pushpull as an opener: Me: hi, nice shoes She: they are nice aren't they? Me: can you fly with them? She: it would be nice if I could fly with these shoes At the moment we unhooked. She had to go into a store. I notice that when I use different kind of openers I lose my train of thought. Pickup is really about having a train of thought and connecting these train of thoughts to form a skill set called pickup skills. My focus: I really need to stop bitching and put more effort into developing this skill set. At the same time I need to build a better connection with myself. I can't connect with girls if I don't connect with myself. And also don't reject myself when girls reject me. My rejection rates aren't even that high. I'm very picky with approach. I will need go change this. I really need to bulk up on some approach experiences. I'm way into my head which doesn't mean I didn't make leaps in the last two months. So firstly I need to approach more and secondly I need to burn sets to the ground and not bail prematurely like today.