StarStruck

So there was a database error and the forum lost content of the last 2 days. I don't remember what I wrote but I will try to remember it. I really like this episode. It fits with my struggles with the recent girl I'm dating. Carol Dweck's book called Mindsets is a great addition to the advice Leo is giving. Reframing success, failure and focusing on experience rather than results is key. She accepted the third date The whole drama I created after me not kissing her on the second date was not needed. Her schedule became clear and she said she would like to do something on friday. I'm still not sure what I want to do with her. Probably pick her up with my car and give her a red rose. Drive her to get an ice cream and take a walk and then take her to my home to cook. She says she is a great cook. We could make something together. My flirtation with the dentist assistant Yesterday I went to the dentist. The assistant who took me from the waiting room and did the cleaning of my death was very nervous. I really couldn't understand why. I thought she probably liked me so I did some subtle gaming. I threw out some topics we could talk about and that gave me the chance to flirt with her a little. She calmed down and started flirting back. She asked me why I smoked (last week I had couple of smokes because of a friend). I told her that I was an easy target for manipulation. She said "if that is so can I manipulate you to stop smoking?" I told her "if you become my gf I will". This was not very subtle and she liked it but I kind of regretted. I was kind of ashamed that I played open card. My rule is not to be so explicit with gaming girls that I see often. I will see her every time I go to the dentist and she will know I hit on her. Making plans I really need to make a grand strategy. I'm too tired to think about it. I promised myself I would make a plan today and use Todd's System as a model to plan out individual sections of game that I want to improve and how I want to integrate it. I will think about how I want to do it.

From the stories on the first page I already got a little excited. ?

That is the salt and pepper of this forum. Learning happens when clashes happen. It was midnight when I discovered that thread and I was looking forward to read it the next morning. I kind of hoped for some spicy sexual stories by the female members of this forum. ??

I'm so sad that I won't be able to read that thread about female bad experiences with dating.

Leo's advice about 3 compliments and 1 is a secret really worked well. She is all over me trying to get an answer. I think it is certain that I can get a third date for next week. She was chasing me in the beginning. Then I was chasing her. It is her turn again. I'm really making progress but I'm not really happy. I have this fear of life that Alexander Lowen talks about. I rather go back being an incel and live in an emotional vacuum. Yesterday I met up with my pickup friend. He wants to do pickup together. I really feel like a fish out of water. I'm getting the things I want namely girls and friends but I was naive about what it entailed.

It is very useful. I already read two of his books and I took some notes and that is about it. I have trouble with dissociation so I have trouble with feelings. Perhaps it might help me to know the scale by heart. For people who read his books. Did you memorize the scale?

Related to this: It is so important to be grounded and integrate non-integrated parts. Now I'm dating, somebody liking me and not ghosting me, feels so not familiar. I need to read these books Attachment style books Magnetic personality book

I'm just mindblown. It is just really about the emotional interaction. To interact with others you have to know your own energy system. Mind, body, and right positive energy (600+ on consciousness level) have to be on one line. Consciousness level is influenced by interactions with other humans. My consciousness level is usually around shame. I should do mindfulness during interactions and let go of emotions to transcend them.

Major insight: deception is soooo key in social dynamics. You have to know the social matrix. And you have to know how to hack the social matrix. If you are knucklehead who has unflexible principles and just steam roll over people's emotions, you will become an incel. Another insight about incels: it is not the incells have lower morals than a fuckboy. The incell is just incapable of manipulation of the social matrix because he is not engaged in the outer world, but rather the inner world.

My insights after talking with a natural pickup guy who can barely talk the local language and he is slaying it, he literally has a harem. Insights: Girls really like to be lied too. If you autistic and don't understand female's emotional system forget about it. You will be walking through a mine field. Deception is at the heart of pickup. Deception is needed to not trigger a mine. Pickup is not really the transfer of words, facts or whatever. It is the transfer of emotions. It is important to be plugged in into the social matrix so your ego can become part of something bigger called a relationship. Basically words and emotions is both energy. But words are more defined energy. And emotions are lesser defined energy. Pickup is done with lesser defined energy and it is subtle by nature. Girls love subtility. Girls love guys who love themselves. Narcissistic people. They don't need morals. The narcissistic person can manipulate himself into a girl's pants. My observations say that girls love to sleep around with liars who tell them sweet little lies or just know how to titillate her emotional buttons.

I'm really ashamed to share myself with others because of my many screw-ups in life and I tend to be naive, child like and inexperienced in life while I'm a guy in my prime. A lot of people appreciate my courage though. A person with my traumatic background aren't met to be successful in social life.

When I read this thread back I can see the absurdity of it. I talked with a friend about it and it feels like I'm in a different paradigm right now.

It is not really about what you get from the table but what you take to the table and share with others on an energetic level. Having confidence is a giving and taking energy in balance. I'm really a leaf in the wind in terms of energy. I get influenced so easily. I'm perfect material for manipulation. Solution: Developing stronger ego boundaries

Doing pickup or dating is not possible without opening the heart. The thing is that life becomes more yoyful but from my experience life is painful. I had a wonderful date yesterday but I didn't kiss her. She made herself so beautiful. I disappointed her so much. And I disappointed myself. I'm in so much hurt and pain right now. I know I should focus on myself, on my own growth and my LP. But this is life. I really have two options Live life like a weasel that is afraid Live life like a tiger And the end of both scenario's is death. Only thing I can do is enjoy the fucking ride. Well that is what I learned from her! What did I learn more from her? She feels what I feel, so I should feel carefree, joyful and pleasant She was a really good story teller, her stories are about nothing but I do enjoy them If she rejects me that will give me ammunition to go apeshit at my life problems. I'm really fed up with my problems! I'm done with being a nice guy, being reserved, or holding myself in. It is either EXPRESS or REPRESS. So if you are a nice guy , try nicing so hard that you reach fulll expression of your personality. That is how one grows, by not hiding. This moring I was going in full depression mode because of REPRESSION. I really need to go of things or express them so I become aware of my behavior and feelings and let that go. I'm sad but I'm alive. Part of me wants to die. I don't want to life. I want to go back to my cave. This ordeal reminds me of the book "Fear of Life" by Alexander Lowen. And guess what? Parts of me are dying. That nice guy is dying!

@Shin hhaaha that made me laugh. I really want to throw myself in the garbage bin. She keeps texting with me so I guess she is ok with me. She is busy this week. Next week I might schedule a new meeting with her but chances are big she will just reject me because I'm just not a man. If I could redo it I would just move closer to her. I waited for her permission or something magical to happen so our lips would meet. It is stupid really. One thing is sure, if I get another date, it is either make or break.

I want to kiss her next time (if she accepts a date) but if she doesn't hold eye contact I can't build up tension.

How to build up the tension again though? As I said, she held eye contact the first date. Second date the eye contact was a little less. She broke it off quicker.

I thought about kissing her right at he beginning of our next date.

@universe my female friend told me "the kiss would happen naturally". Seriously. This is the last time I'm going to listen to female advice when it comes to dating as a male. During the first date there was good eye contact. She held the eye contact. During the second date, it was a little bit less. She broke off eye contact when I tried to hold it at the end. How can I get it back to before where she was holding eye contact?

I didn't want sex. I just wanted to kiss and slowly build up the intimacy towards sex so she can become my gf. I just messed up by forgetting man to female frame and just going in for physicality and a kiss.

I met her at a coffeeshop. We went on an instant date in the park. This thread is about the second date. She was all dolled up, nice skirt, nice hair. It was an easy job but I didn't want to fuck because of nofap and porn addiction recovery. I need some weeks off to heal. I think she wants me for the long haul. If she was interested in something short she would already ghost me after I was wanking around, not leading her to sexuality. I will be bummed if it doesn't work out but I have no choice. Healing from my porn addiction has the bigger priority than a girl. I don't know if she will stick around for weeks. My porn addiction recovery could take that long.

I'm theorizing and trying to understand myself and how I work. Self knowledge is the foundation of all wisdom.

I'm theorizing everything in my life because theory is part of practise. No?

I still have to read these books: Way of the superior man No more mister nice guy I think these books will help me. She called me a nice guy in between conversations. I was really insulted by that. I already feel a little bit better. Is emotionally detaching myself from her a good idea? Doing visualizations like she already rejected and left me?

This my second date with the blonde girl. The date was the best. The aftermath and my failure to kiss her ruined it for me. My mistakes Believing I didn't deserve her. She was so beautiful and sexy. Not being calm, abundance, carefree, grounded, masculine and confident: mindset Not knowing how to engage a kiss in that situation: know how Listen to female advice on dating as a male Not having fixed my LP and my addictions and trying to find happiness and value off of her Having close to zero dating experience