StarStruck

@flowboy that is true. I get numbers and a lot don't ignore me but they are just reluctant to meet me because I'm just a dude that was fun to speak to and meeting up with me is kind of a big step I guess. I think you are right. Todd from RSD calls it narrative building. I'm kind of reluctant to do that because I think girls will find it weird that a guy talks about future narratives between me and the girl. Also don't know what kind of narrative I can use. Usually I say you seem fun, let's get a coffee. They agree on the spot but I can see them hesitant. Couple of days pass and I check up and they don't seem very open. Also I'm not very frightening. I always approach girls in busy streets. They can easily reject me without danger.

“Alas! I regret that I am taken from you; and, happy and beloved as I have been, is it not hard to quit you all? But these are not thoughts befitting me; I will endeavor to resign myself cheerfully to death, and will indulge a hope of meeting you in another world.” – Mary Shelley

Could we say paradigm = dream? I feel like paradigms are mini dreams. I got out of couple of nasty paradigms and now that I look back at them it feels like a dream.

I see these dudes at the gym talking random shit, just joking around, basically gaming the room, attracting attention. I saw some girls just be drawn towards the "fun". They don't even need to approach. It creates massive rapport. I befriended those guys so I thought I would join them but I'm just too much in my head. If I turn off the filters and just vibe around but... I'm just not able to spit game the way they do. Sometimes I feel such a retard. Basically these guys are just themselves. They aren't try-hards. But I do try to become one of them. Should I just make my peace and accept that I'm not one of them?

Ok, now I'm understanding girls much better. I'm just playing with different paradigms. I'm a needy guy and I'm not ashamed to admit my needs and If they want that non-needy guy I can become it by deception. I have two options: be authentically needy or be deceptive non-needy. Girls push me to be the latter. And currently I do have multiple girls that I'm hitting up. What I'm doing right now works. Girls like to be gamed and that is what I'm doing. I don't have trouble getting phone numbers. I'm just frustrated about their flaking and treating nice guy like my self like dirt. After Flowboy's explanation I kind of get it now.

I know. I'm not planning to hold these beliefs on the long term but at this moment it works. Girls are my enemy. This mindset is a gamechanger. I'm just going with what works for me, not what works for other people. We are all in different places on our road map. Good advice for one person is bad advice for the other. There is no perfect A to B plan to get out of incel-hood. I'm just going with what works. At this moment I need to be ruthless and integrate my inner psychopath as Jordan Peterson recommends. I will get into shadow work very soon.

I approached two seperate girls on my way. Both went really good. One had bf. The other girl I approached with beautiful eyes was single. I got her number and she agreed on coffee. The book no more mister nice guy is a game changer. I still have to fully integrate the taught paradigm. After reading this book I got a blabber mouth. Pickup really becomes effortless but not perfect. Being an imperfect human is part of being a PUA. When you own your weaknesses it becomes a strength.

I was a hard case incel so I know what I'm talking about. Girls are NOT on our team. Read the book no more mister nice guy. Girls love guys who can take care of themselves and can stand on their own feet. Yes, there is collaboration between the sexes but when push comes to shove we are on our own.

Men and women are not on the same team in casual dating. Both parties are out for their own (survival) interests. That is my experience.

Why do you think I made up my mind?

Fair enough. I'm not whining. I'm trying to understand my opponent's mindset. Also most women on this forum deny women's behavior at large. Having a discussion with them is not whining. This is the way to learn from them. I never try to convince women. It is impossible. I'm confused right now. Some people are serving me up some feminity. Others are serving me up some masculinity. lol. I don't want a relationship. Of course if settle down to be a beta male provider, there will be some girls who are desperate and want to settle down. I know two who want that but I don't want that. I want to casually date for the time being. If a girl is calling me nice I'm doing something wrong. I know that much. True.

If I give my phone number to a fat chick and I change my mind about her, I wouldn't ghost her, I would have the dignity to her and explain to her I changed my mind about her and have the respect to explain. I'm not blaming or something. I'm trying to understand these bitches.

I approached 5 separate girls on my way to the supermarket. 4 rejections but the cutest one gave me her number. She is into philosophy. We are texting since we met. Observations about myself Ad hoc openers: commenting on something about her works much better than using generic openers Care less, that is really what I have to do more: 80% friendly behaviour, 20% dickish behaviour Polarize more; say things that will make her reject you or accept you The way to stopping yourself qualifying, is to make her qualify The formula to make anything fun: go off script! No boring conversations!

Girls made me like this. Why do you think most nice guys are looking for answers? They are frustrated. I'm just a little bit over the top at the moment. It is a phase. After I get the lifestyle I want.. I will integrate and be more well-rounded. Trust me. I wish I could stay a nice guy but nice guys finish last. If you want to be angry at anybody be angry at girls/women who reward the opposite of a nice guy. This is the game and we guys are just rolling with it. That is because of porn. That is why I'm doing nofap. Girls already call me "nice guy" all the time.. in my freaking face.. and you tell me to be more feminine? My problem is that I care too much, that I'm too needy and probably also hurt. I don't know if those will be solved by being more feminine. Anyway, I will look into it. Thanks for the heads up.

@Roy trimming didn't work for me. Sometimes a guy just needs to take a leap to see where the edges are. And then come back and integrate.

@Etherial Cat I approached tons of women and I hear the phrase "you are nice" or "you are a nice guy" so often. I heard it so much that I got sick of it. I'm not kidding. Now I switched it up, now I don't hear that phrase anymore. I hear the phrase "you have balls" more often and I get actual success. The problem is that my niceness is very deep in my core so it can creep up. For the record. I don't have resentment against girls or women. Yes, I got hurt by a girl recently but that is not resentment. That is pain and yes guys have a heart too, they can experience pain too.

I would be considered a nice guy and other guys never treat me poorly because I'm a capable man. The only area where I get treated bad is in the area of dating. I think this guy is right:

To fuck her brains out. These types are no marriage material.

You have to give her a hard time or she will give you a hard time. Never treat her nice unless she deserves it.

@Peter Miklis bingo

To defeat the enemy you have to understand their psychology Weak guy is probably closer to what girls don't like. According to Jordan Peterson, girls like guys who have integrated their inner psychopath. Nice guys are not capable of being psychopaths to protect her from danger. I guess this hardwired in women. Those shit test that you are talking about is about this. Nature (female energy) wants to be contained by culture (masculine energy)

You feel bad about not approaching because you don't have the harem (or one girl) you so desire. Just keep approaching and you will come to a point that you either get what you want or you will be depressed and forced to look inside.

You need to develop this: I'm very niave about girls too. And the more I interact with girls the more I lose my innocence.

Do you go out solo? I tried to go out solo and it is very hard to self-amuse and not be over-reaching to others. It is just so awkward. I'm just standing around with a beer, value scanning the place. Sure I can talk to some dudes to connect but is a marathon. I don't get how people can enjoy themselves 3+ hours in basically just some rooms with hard music.