StarStruck

I know it but I notice I'm not capable of focusing on LP with all of my heart because I have a broken heart and I'm seeking love.

It is not admirable. I'm getting depressive about it. Couple of days ago I decided to stop. Love means appreciating the other, the self. Being myself means that I can just be and not pretend who I am.

Assume rapport.

I'm a man. Of course I would love to have sex with a beautiful young blond girl. Are you kidding me? I will think about what you said about manipulation, perception and paradigms. It is true that I don't believe in love. It is just manipulation. Girls from my experience don't want me if I'm just myself and just provide love. Why? Because that is not enough. I'm emotionally weak, insecure and I have self esteem issues. I approached 300 girls and none loved me so fuck love.

Double

When one realizes there is no me and other, how to live though? Survival becomes obsolete. One is just in being and everything is is OK. For example if I discover the other is just Me with an uppercase. And other wants things from me but doesn't want to give anything back. How can be just be content with not giving anything to that needy person or letting that person left to dry? It is about having healthy boundaries and healthy self importance. I guess. The thing is that nobody is honest about these things. We all need to use some deceit (not telling the truth) to stay alive. I wouldn't tell all the truths to my boss. Telling all truths to girls is also not smart. Manipulation is necessary to get anything done.

Hard to disagree on that but she doesn't have to love me. If I have gotten sex it wouldn't feel so bad to be sidelined right now. I get what you mean but you weren't there. We had a very good connection enjoying just being in each other's presence. I never had that before. It was not weird that I mourn losing that and not being able to keep her attracted to me. Is it so weird that I try to manipulate myself to be able to keep and attract a girl I like?

@Leo Gura Owen needs to watch your video on forgiveness.

Coincidentally my therapist and me are working on stress/frustration tolerance. Coaches are no psychologists. In my experience they don't understand psychology very well. Perhaps very expensive coaches understand psychology but I can't afford those.

Good point. The thing is that I'm not good at manipulating myself, and secondly I'm easily manipulated by others. I don't know to develop myself in this area. I would love to read some books about it.

Bottom line is really this after view days of contemplation: a guy should make himself the middle point of his life. All his investments should go towards himself. A girl is only a supplement: no emotional/financial investment should be made in her, no approval expected, no loyalty given and no expectations made.

Why do you think? Girls can cheat too.

On last Friday I did a LSD trip to heal my broken heart and do some shadow work: I used Leo's trauma healing/forgiving video and I feel like I only scratched the surface. I have a lot of forgiving work to do. Especially on my mother and opposite sex. Having a disintegrated heart and resentment or other dense feelings is really what is holding me back. This ties into psycho-cybernetics. One really brings to the table what you are. If one is broken internally and seeks to find the other to complete oneself, it just doesn't work. If anything, that girl sidetracking me and leaving me in shambles, showed me how much internal work I have to do. At one hand it just sucks. At the other hand, I'm glad she did it.

@Javfly33 @John Iverson logistics means logistics. So if it is possible to date her. If she has time. If she is available and has no bf. If it is possible to pull her home or get an instant date.

Just become the asshole

In my opinion my problem is not lack of self love but lack of a healthy ego. I just crumbled by what happened. I need to develop some boundaries, anti fragility and healthy egoism. In other words I need to turn the tables around. I feel like girls are manipulating me. I have to create so much personal power that I can manipulate them. And yes, there is some toxicity in this but I don't chose my life.

It is hard to just sit and love myself. When I had her it was much easier to love myself. I felt on cloud 9. Perhaps I was too quick to like her but everything was going right. She agreed to visit my place and suddenly she canceled and is acting cold. I guess it was the sudden change of her behavior that got me. If I take a step back and look at what happened, I'm also glad that it happened. I got fired up and I realized I have to take even more action. The thing that is frustrating is that I'm already taking 90% more action than regular guys who are just lazy at get tinder dates or dates from their social circle.

I agree but sometimes the heart doesn't listen to the brain. I'm so drunk with love that I can't think straight. Snuitje made some good points and I would give the same advice to another person but the reality is this: the more I resist the heart break the more it hurts, so for now I just let it be and meditate on the pain (but not attach to the pain). I never had a real girlfriend. That is the real problem and I'm really desperate to get one. I wish I could just drop that need and just focus on my LP but my heart (where the inner wisdom is) is trying to teach me something. Something I don't understand. The more I move towards dating girls, the more pain I encounter. The pain is a teacher that teaches me to not depend on others, and that love is perhaps not for me. What I read is this.. if this logistics are right: Beginner: 10% success rate Intermediate: 20-30% success rate Expert: 40-50% success rate

Find out what the people you like are doing in their free time and do that. I discovered all the hot girls are dancing so I'm going to try salsa.

That is what I'm doing right now. I'm focusing on trauma healing and forgiving people from my past so that I can become a lighter person. The thing is that I just don't have the life style for people to gravitate towards me. I work from home and the only parts of the day I come outside where I see people is in the super market and in the gym. I was hoping to make a social circle of friends but it isn't working.

I can never disagree with you. I'm reading one book a day. I'm fired up. But at the same time the pain is just unbearable. I loved this girl and everything was going ok. She was coming to my house. And she just changed her mind and now she is giving me the silent treatment, not taking contact with me for days while previously she would always text me something every 3 days. Bars/clubs are closed. Only cafes are open but I don't have the friends to go out to cafes. I'm destined to day game.

I totally understand the OP. Hard truth is that cards are not already dealt fairly. Just self-actualizing is not enough. That is just the foundation. On top of that you have to become highly manipulative to be able to get some regular steady ass from day game.

I'm already going to therapy once a week. I watched the whole video. I will definitely try it tomorrow. I read that book a while back. I remember it made an impact on me so it might do me good to reread it. The thing is that I kind of given up. Perhaps for me it is good to just give up and surrender and accept it just doesn't work out. I did everything by the book and it just doesn't work out. It is not meant to be. I'm kind of heart broken by that girl that doesn't want to meet up any more. I don't want other girls. I just want her but she is "busy" and obviously I'm not a high priority for her.

It was a while back when I took LSD for the last time. I had no intentions set. One hour in I felt awful. I felt stuck in this "matrix" and I was really not feeling it. I decided to put on Leo's video about trauma release and forgiving. That really had a healing effect. I think that had more effect on me than 8 months of therapy. So I'm definitely not disappointed with the trip but I feel like I'm doing something wrong. Whenever I take psychedelic I just get suicidal or sick of existence. After having watched Leo's trauma release and forgiving video I decided to take a ride on my bicycle because I had couple of emotional hours inside the house. A long story short: I met an older lady who experienced a mystical experience and explained infinite love to me. She was stage blue person. She told me some crazy stories about her being atheist and not knowing anything about the bible and somehow she "downloaded" knowledge about god and she met god in person. She didn't convince me to become Christian of course but she definitely poked my curiosity towards mystical experiences. I'm definitely going to proceed with non-duality, god realization and healing of the heart. This is really what I need but I don't know how to proceed.

I noticed that it is better to ask a number than ask for a coffee date. Why? Getting number is low threshold. Her agreeing on a date I means her committing on something. In the latter it is needed to ask her number anyway to meet up. I noticed that girls find it a big step to agree on a coffee date on the spot. What works for me is this baby stepping sequence: to get number > ask for date. Am I having a wrong paradigm about this? Nowadays I'm kind of reluctant to ask for coffee dates in the near future or asking for instant dates. I feel like girls find it too heavy or are they just not interested enough?