StarStruck

Conner's strategy is no better than Leo's strategy. Both use spirituality for survival. The difference is that Conner actually followed suit and gave away all of his money and bitcoins.

I'm doing it for myself really. I still have that toxic side in me that just wants to be a fuckboy (for a while) to get the experience but I'm just too broken to do that. I'm just being honest about it: I'm in no way become an angel. I just got hurt so much by that girl putting me on hold (she is probably going to reject me) that I just want to be a stronger/healthier person for myself. Those ceremonies are expensive and I would kind of find it embarrassing. Thanks.

How can people say they transcended survival and still live in a house and such? If the illusionary self is eliminated why not take some homeless people in your house? Distribute all your money to poor people? Connor Murphy actually did this but people see him as a crazy person right now, and he got kind of disowned for his crazy behavior. I also don't think the world would be a better place if everybody was like that.

It depends on my mood but usually yes. My default state is being reserved and shields up. I can get into high conscious moods but it always goes back to the default the next day. I think it is a lack of frame; not knowing what to feel or what to say. I'm doing some grounding exercises to connect to the body/emotions/feelings/sensations and that helps a lot to get a frame on things.

The hungry don't get fed. The ones who are not hungry get fed. I'm calculating my own success rate based on girls who are available. Counting girls who have a bf in the success rate doesn't make sense but at the same time a lot of girls say they have a bf to get rid of you, so it is fishy. Yes. Normally she would text me every 2-3 days. Since she cancelled our date (she would come to my place) she doesn't next me any more. When I ask her I get the feeling she doesn't want to see me any more she says "that is not true, I'm just busy", which I know is not true. She has 2 free days per week. Don't you have the same problem though? I remember that you made a topic about a guy flaking on you. The thing is that this problem that we have is not easy to fix. I already know what m problem is. I just don't know how to fix it.

Bro, I don't even get the chance to show my authentic self. I can get phone numbers from cuties all the time and they show high enthusiasm, which can't be faked but I guess I don't build enough emotional connection or something. This is how it goes: I talk to her like 5-10 minutes. I can see her interest level so I close I get her phone number and she agrees to get coffee or something I text her and she flakes or ghost me This happened numerous times. The problem could be lack of emotional connection or perhaps they just don't like how I look. If it is the latter I can't do anything, if it is the former I can work on it but to be honest I'm a little bit lazy about it. My therapist says I can't make connections with others if I'm not able to make an emotional connection with myself: that is not easy! I'm emotionally dissociative all my life.

This is so true From my topic: I discovered what I'm doing wrong. I really have to heal myself with more self-love, integrate disowned parts of myself. Currently girls just bail after a certain moment because they instinctively feel the lack of self-love. Also I got some flashbacks how I was few years ago. I made tremendous progress. And sometimes I think I need to be perfect but are fuck boys perfect? They aren't. Fuck boys actually have more self love than me (although they are immoral) and they play the survival game to their own benefit. Cultivating self-love for me means caring more about other people than myself, but that is not self-love. I have to be truthful. I'm just using "love" as a currency to get something from the other. The love that I'm aiming at is actual love of my personal self and be truthful about survival games; which means not using pseudo-love as a currency for survival.

Is it not more complex than that? I remember you saying that reality is real, not real and both.

So I dated this girl a few times and that exponentially improved my quality of life. I started loving myself. Life was so exciting. I was full of life and extra energy to get shit done. It wasn't even a relationship but simply dating her and receiving love and attention from her healed me a little bit. Now she is using the "I'm busy" line for two weeks and I've lost my source of love. She was really like a sun in the darkness. @ll Ontology ll thanks. I will think about the algorithms. Do you have any book recommendations on the topic?

Very deep inside I just want love from a girl. I'm not able to because I have trouble with dissociation from my feelings. Currently I'm focusing on being able to freely express myself by being connected to my emotions. I have trouble doing that because I freeze up. I made a lottt of progress on this front but I still do get the "medusa-complex". It is a tough nut to crack. I'm reading some books on trauma healing and I will read some books on shadow work, confidence, archetypes and probably some other stuff.

He says he never did psychedelics and he is very proud on that. Is just basking in non-dual/absolute truth/divine love enough though? I think integrating lessons is just as important. There are some books on psychedelic healing. I hope that will help me.

It is so hard to understand this perspective. How come they treat nice guys as trash and dick heads as kings? With girls treating guys nice I mean answering their text, being polite and having the dignity to say they are not interested. Instead they just ghost you and just leave you out to dry. I talked to some female friends about this and they subscribe to what I said. Guys are much nicer towards girls in this regard. My theory is this: girls have more power because they chose, and nice guys who don't have power get treated as trash; there is no reason to treat nice guys with respect and dignity.

Pickup is like doing psychedelics. One transcends itself by speaking to others. We get to learn some lessons and afterwards it is important to integrate the lessons.

@Etherial Cat thank you for the recommendations. There is so much to do.

When will your pickup program come out?

@Tangerinedream I'm going to read her books and take psychedelics @ll Ontology ll I told myself I wouldn't approach anymore and I can't just help myself; I just approached. I got her number but I'm not proud. If she also flakes it will be another stab. I'm too fragile to date.

@ll Ontology ll I'm stopping with pickup and going to do some healing with Teal Swan. I really feel like not living right now after that girl sidetracked me. This is not healthy. Even if I wanted to continue with pickup I can't.

How Leo did it was by creating a brand around his name/persona. I don't know if Leo's business model will work in the Netherlands. It is important to tailor to people's needs and where they are at if you want to make a money making business. Perhaps start at stage orange and slowly move it up.

I know it but I notice I'm not capable of focusing on LP with all of my heart because I have a broken heart and I'm seeking love.

It is not admirable. I'm getting depressive about it. Couple of days ago I decided to stop. Love means appreciating the other, the self. Being myself means that I can just be and not pretend who I am.

Assume rapport.

I'm a man. Of course I would love to have sex with a beautiful young blond girl. Are you kidding me? I will think about what you said about manipulation, perception and paradigms. It is true that I don't believe in love. It is just manipulation. Girls from my experience don't want me if I'm just myself and just provide love. Why? Because that is not enough. I'm emotionally weak, insecure and I have self esteem issues. I approached 300 girls and none loved me so fuck love.

Double

When one realizes there is no me and other, how to live though? Survival becomes obsolete. One is just in being and everything is is OK. For example if I discover the other is just Me with an uppercase. And other wants things from me but doesn't want to give anything back. How can be just be content with not giving anything to that needy person or letting that person left to dry? It is about having healthy boundaries and healthy self importance. I guess. The thing is that nobody is honest about these things. We all need to use some deceit (not telling the truth) to stay alive. I wouldn't tell all the truths to my boss. Telling all truths to girls is also not smart. Manipulation is necessary to get anything done.

Hard to disagree on that but she doesn't have to love me. If I have gotten sex it wouldn't feel so bad to be sidelined right now. I get what you mean but you weren't there. We had a very good connection enjoying just being in each other's presence. I never had that before. It was not weird that I mourn losing that and not being able to keep her attracted to me. Is it so weird that I try to manipulate myself to be able to keep and attract a girl I like?