StarStruck

The older you get the more pressure they will put on you so you have to make it a serious business to find a guy you like before your parents find a guy for you.

@unborn_chicken thank you but night game is not an option. There is a lockdown and I don't have the social circle to go out. @Flowerfaeiry It depends on the girl. If I really want the girl I have a hard time to be outcome independent. But with most regular girls I'm outcome independent. Even those regular looking girls don't want to meet me after giving me their number and saying yes to a coffee date in my freaking face. Only 1 time I got a fake number. That is not the issue here. We are talking about flaking. Flaking is normal. On the internet they say 80% flake rate is normal. My flake rate is about 97%.

Street game.

The Ukranian girl called Lada canceled our first date. What is the problem of these girls and canceling dates 1-2 hours before the date? I'm getting so tired of these girls, man. She ask if we can postpone it to next week.

It is normal to have those thoughts. Your aversion towards feeling those manly thoughts is the problem.

Finally I reached a state where I can get multiple phone numbers in a week with minimal to medium effort. Since that "thing" happened and I started integrating my bad side, having casual laid back conversation and getting numbers is so easy. I also failed back my logic and started being more emotional and it is working great. Every week I get 3-4 solid closes with numbers and I text with multiple girls at once. It feels great to have choices but what is the point of this abundance if I can't get a first date? Last week 3 numbers flaked and 1 number is a maybe next week. And those maybes usually turn into a no out of my experience. This week I got another 4 numbers and 1 girl wants to meet up and the other 2 are maybes. Most girls don't tell me straight up why they don't want to meet up. They usually use these excuses: I'm busy this week/weekend I don't know you good enough I'm going to my parents I'm not looking for boyfriend right now (so why did you give your number?lol) I don't know you enough Probably the last one is most authentic. They just don't know me enough but then I'm thinking. If you don't meet me for a first date it is not weird you don't get to know me. Probably my text game just sucks? I'm really bad at it and I already read couple of threads about this topic but it simply doesn't work. What I already tried Push for instant dates but I only pulled it off once. Most girls don't want it. Experimented with minimalistic text game or the opposite. Not be pushy, but if I'm not pushy they postpone it to next week and cancel anyway Being pushy for a date, this works if the girl is clearly interested The advice I got on this forum was to keep text game minimalistic and go straight for setting up a Daye. It is not working. I think I'm fucking up because I'm going for date too quick. I'm trying to do some fun banter for some while before asking out but it is not really working.

I'm very bad at playfulness through text. My brain just freezes. My psyche is looking for a formula to be playful and funny but the point of playfulness is letting go of formulas and formalities. Usually I'm a very formal person. I know I shouldn't look for quick fixes and it is so difficult.

So after getting a number how do you proceed? Just say hi what's up and then immediate set up a date? That is what I thought. If I was better looking my life would have been easier. I have already developed some confidence and I have a good vibe. A man can only do so much. That is what I'm trying to do. Most of the time I already know a lot of their lives before getting digits. I still ask couple of questions but they just respond very slowly and it is hard to establish a back and forth. They either ghost me after couple of text or it becomes like an interview. I tried to not make it an interview but the ball isn't just rolling. It has to come from both sides.

For girls it is not only important what you say but how you say it and with what emotion. Try experimenting with this Just say stupid stuff with a lot of confidence Tell about your everyday boring life in a very entertaining manner/voice Insert sexual energy in between these two things. Think about sex and she will think about sex. Be a total idiot but at the same time be emotionally aware of her

Your physical and emotional body says yes and your mind says no. Look into why you are so easily titillated. It could be trauma and being promiscuous could be a way to treat old wounds.

Girls I dated, which aren't that many, wanted me to decide everything. Which day, time, location and activity.

I really wanted a date this coming weekend. All of them flaked. I'm so sad. I'm just going to surrender to the sadness and I'm not going to fight it.

The Ukrainian called Lada says she wants to meet up next week. Let's see what is going to happen. Because of the super high flake rates I lost hope and I don't trust these girls. I did 6 approaches today and I closed 2. Tall blonde fit girl called Michelle and a very sensual red head called Jard. The first one was a quick close. It was a driveby on my bicycle. The other one was sitting on a bench. This is what I learned: letting her invest is so important. Things like Letting her qualify Talking about myself and switching between multiple subjects to see what peeks her interest; letting her ask questions Using litmus test question to peek interest: what do you want to ask me? Not asking boring questions; touching upon motivations But above all; exchange of emotional interaction is so key. I'm too fucking logical and not enough emotional. I kind of push myself to be emotionally exuberant and it really helps.

So I took this girl for ice cream and she said she also want a hamburger and 5 minutes later she also wanted fries and then something else. My intention was just to buy ice cream. I bought her a hamburger out of niceness but then she wanted more and I said no but it kind of killed the mood a little bit. How could I handle this situation in the future? I think she sensed I was a nice guy. In bars girls ask for drinks too. It is easy to say no but how can I say no and not ruin the mood and still get her. That is what I'm asking.

That is what I want to be honest and it is not healthy. I need to work on that. Pickup guys I know pay until they get in her pants. If sex is the only thing you want as a guy that is the best way to go. Some people can be ruthless. They see a man as an extension of their own survival. They don't see them as a person in their own. Would you still buy them gifts if they didn't give you sex though? I get that but me being stoic is not a choice. It has become part of my personality. It is not that I don't have emotions so probably I could train to be more emotionally exuberant. Seduction happens on the emotional level so I know this is my Achilles heal.

So after yesterday (see thread above) which was a failed date, I have more bad news. I acquired 3 solid phone number last week and all of them don't want to meet up this weekend. These super high flake rates are killing me. I made a topic about this subject a while back and I still haven't solved it. Girls seem super excited to meet me and very eager to give their number. They even agree to go on a coffee date but when push comes shove they are not interested. And the excuses are all the same. Almost all girls say the same that it feels scripted. I'm busy with school or work I have to go to family I'm already fully planned this week Also some say, next week I might have some time to meet. So I come back one week later and they are busy again. It seems that I don't have a high priority for these girls. I met one Ukrainian girl yesterday. She is the last one down my pipe. I hope she wants to meet up. All this talk about abundance. I finally reached abundance in terms of contacts but it doesn't meet shit if 95% of them flake.

Good point. I will try it. To be honest I'm not excited about anything in my life although I'm doing all the things I want: I study IT and I work in IT. Nothing else interests me and I wouldn't do anything else; and I'm just a very stoic person. Let's say if I decided to talk about IT, would she even be excited to hear me talk about that? She probably wouldn't understand anything. I could keep it pretty basic but she is not a type who would be interested in hearing me talk about it. Next time I could try with another girl. I understand your point. The reason I never talk about my LP to girls is I don't want to come across as a nerd. Most girls have nothing with IT. She makes cupcakes for a living and I heard she got fired from that place. She has no hobbies, no degrees, no interests in life, and all that she talks about is about moving to a better apartment. Got it. I think the reason why I'm so stoic is that I'm lonely and depressed but to escape from loneliness I need to stop being depressed. It is a crazy strange loop and it is hard to escape. If a guy has enough value: good looks, great personality and knows how to dish out good emotions to her he can get away with not paying. I'm not saying I can't get away with not paying. I can't. That is why I'm paying. But flowboy already explained how guys can play it balsy and let her pay. I wouldn't want a girl who wants me to pay all the time. After the second date I don't pay to see what kind of girl she is. Smart guys pay until they are in your pants. After that it is 50/50 otherwise it is a no go.

Does anybody have the summary of the trauma forgiving video?

I never hear men tell women how to live their lives but I constantly hear women tell men how they should live their lives. Essentially women are the gate keepers by nature. They decide who gets to reproduce and I can tell from own experience. Women reward devilry. Do they do this consciously? No. It is just their unconscious instincts that are conditioned by thousands of years of evolution. The more you listen to women the more one understands we shouldn't listen to them. My results with women sky rocketed since I stopped giving a fuck and followed my ruthless masculine instincts. If a man is not ruthless in his nature, women become ruthless against the man. That is the bottom line. Also learned that women exploit man's insecurities. If you are an insecure man you need to fix that and not listen to women. After you created a healthy ego you can go out in the field. The book no more mister guy is highly recommended to nice guys.

Do girls care about that during an one night stand? To be clear. I ha no intention of dating her: she just doesn't check my boxes. I just wanted to have some fun with her and all the signals she gave off screamed "I'm easy and I like having fun". I have pickup friends who have nothing going on in their life and they have a dead end job. They are slaying it with girls, just because they are fun. It would be a mistake to think one has to become mister perfect to get laid. At the moment I just want to ramp up my experiences with dating. If I compare myself to my pickup friends: the difference is that he is fun and emotionally alive and I'm not. Thanks.

Yea, they call is trauma symptoms. Teal Swan's completion theory is very good to integrate shadow sides.

I intentially decided to hit on girls who are below my league for the experience. She was an easy pull. Yes, I wanted to get her but I don't think that is incongruence. Perhaps I was not clear with my language. The good part of all of this is that I got a new reference experience, the bad part is that I can't even pull a girl below my league. All the more reasons to work on my self-esteem/insecurities: I didn't get what I want but now I'm more motivated to work on the issues that caused me not getting what I want. I'm not one of those guys with high self-worth but I'm working on it. True, I'm not sure how to be fun though. To be honest, I thought she is below my league so I don't have to worry about being fun. Let me just my boring self as an experiment and see if the mantra "just be yourself and it will work out" is true. It is not true. lol.

I gave almost everything she wanted and she still didn't want sex so fuck that. If I acted as a brad and just bought her the ice cream and put her on her spot things would have gone different. I'm just glad for the experience, girls are great teachers if you oberve to what they respond to, not what they say they respond to. I just wanted an one night stand. No way I would date her. lol. She took me by surprise. I was just weak and very insecure. I didn't want to come of as a cheap ass but at the same time I didn't like she acted so entitled. It was a shit test and I failed it. They are beautiful and if a lot of guys want them they know they hold power and they might want to exploit that by wanting material stuff. Basically as a guys we either have to provide the material stuff (like a provider beta male) or provide the emotions (as a fuck boy). I'm not interested in being the latter. I think my insecurities are a major obstacle in my dating. I'm not sure how to tackle this problem though. I have some books on my reading list like pillars of self-esteem and I'm reading Teal Swan's work on emotional healing.

That is what I wanted to do but I was afraid she would scratch my car. lol. I knew what I was getting into so I was not dissapointed. I did it for the experience. So the bottom line is that my insecurities is the root problem? To be honest, I didn't have anything in common with this girl. There wasn't a real connection because she was so different from me: she got nothing going in her life, she was uneducated, and all she could talk about is fun stuff. I didn't know how to connect to her so I'm not disappointed for not getting sex. I always thought that communication is about what is being said but what is not being said is just as important. Being able to walk away is so important. Letting her earn treats and gifts is just as important. But now that I think about it that is really the least of my problems. I'm just very insecure, not sure what to feel, to think and what to say with a girl. If the girl is hot enough I would pay the first date, but if me and her are on the same level in terms of value, I expect equal investment from her, otherwise why would I date her? That is why ugly guys pay for dates because that is the only way a hot girl would go on a date with him. This girl was below my standards so I didn't want to invest a lot. An ice cream is more than enough for the first date. She is on tinder and shit so me giving her something is already a big upgrade for her. Am I really asking something for nothing? Guys are worth something too, you know? Girls can be with guys just because they value each other, not because what they give each other.

@flowboy she also told me she likes black boys several times. After couple of times it got on my nerves and I told her to go talk to them if she is so interested in them. The mistake I made is after the first investment I made into her I didn't want to lose my investment. I wonder how Leo does it. He says he never paid anything for girls while going out. Currently I'm not having a lot of options so I don't want to try that but eventually I would like to have that attitude. @Vzdoh the problem is entitlement and wanting something for nothing.