StarStruck

I'm not materially blessed though. Not financially at least. Physically and health perhaps yes, but in terms of my face I'm not good looking I think. On tinder I don't get any matches. I have to grind my ass off to get dates (getting phone numbers is easy though). I don't have it easy if you are trying to tell me that. It is not. I explained it above. I'm no different than those guys. The difference that I have is that I get 1 date from time to time and then get trashed in the garbage bin by females. Ok, this kind of connects to what Joe Dispenza says: act like you already have it... but I feel like I'm fooling myself. The one thing I want right now is that Polish girl and she doesn't want me. So I still have to act/pretend like she is with me?

Hmm, interesting. I think you might be right. I see weak looking guys with beautiful girls all the time. So what do they have what I don't have? I don't think I have to become god to find a gf. I'm seeing my dating journey and spirituality journey as two separate things. Sex, approval, enjoying good things from life like dating and hanging out with hot girls. Most girls scoot off after 1 or 2 dates. It makes me miserable and I'm not enjoying life right now. It is a hell. So I have to wish it and I just get it? I don't have to do anything for it? I'm already working on setting powerful intentions but I also know I have to act upon it. And until now it is not working. Hm, I will contemplate about it.

@mandyjw I still have to reach my first real enlightenment but I don't know if that is going going help me with my pickup. You say I will never get mine. So it is wrong to say that strong men get rewarded and weak men get punished? That is what I'm observing. I'm sick of being weak. What is wrong with that? Joe Dispenza already helped me to transcend the material and go into the timeless/infinite. Life would be much more pleasant if I get mine just like how the fuckboys do. I mean I won't be stuck forever in fuckboy mode. If I get mine it will be easier to let go of the material realm and focus on real spirituality. At the moment, after yesterday, I'm just miserable. I don't even want to eat and I have to force myself to eat. Why would I focus on the infinite/spirituality when I can't even get my basic needs met like sex. ? By the way, thanks for explaining the difference between care and love. I have to contemplate it to really understand it. I care way too much. I'm way too serious about life, LP, dating, and so on. And that is not sexy. I know that.

I'm doing Joe Dispenza's stuff and I totally know what you are talking about. I'm a natural empath so I really care what others think and feel. That is what fuckboys have and I don't have. Again; I don't want to be a fuckboy. I just don't want to be treated as dirt by these girls. At least fuck boys get sex while I get to be depressive. I think for the coming months I will try to become an egoistic in the sense that I won't care what other people think, feel or want. I will be just out to get mine.

I just wanted to text her, and I discovered she blocked me. This makes me so mad. Fuck being a nice guy. I don't have respect for girls anymore. This is really the straw the broke the camels back.

That is painful but true. I'm getting angry but I shouldn't. That is just the game. I want to be a fuckboy for the lessons and experience, so that I can integrate my inner fuckboy and be a wholesome person in my dating life. Comparing to half year ago I made astronomical progress. I couldn't even dream up such a beautiful girl half year ago and now I get dates with them, so I'm happy with my progress but I'm also getting frustrated. I'm in my 32 and I don't have the luxury of stretching out my learning curve for 10 years since I'm already 10 years too late in the game. This ego baggage is counter productive and I'm letting it go but there is also reality which is my age. Like I can get 20 year old girls now, when I'm a little bit older it will get well awkward to hit on beautiful 20 year old girls. My plan is to date 2-3 to catch up with casual dating and then slowly find a long term partner. I'm ok with the way I'm. I'm a quite and reserved type. The problem is that girls don't like to fuck with such guys. I do have a wild side but it is like 30% wild, 70% reserved. The night was 30% wild and fun and, 70% I was just reserved. Everything was fine until the last hour of the date where we both got bored in the sisha lounge.

I failed at that so hard in the last hour. I just ran out of stories and then I got afraid to come across boring and that is exactly what happened. Law of state transference is so important. Actually I did try to kiss her two times, once in the park and second time in the lounge, but she rejected me. But we did hold hands when walking (her initiative), put my arm around her, touched her hair and face. How would you have dealt with that situation? You are 3 hours in the date (and the vibe was good although she rejected my kiss two times) and the last hour is getting boring.

I know you are right but it is hard to accept. I have a low anima animus integration. There are like 5 levels of integration. I'm on level 1/2 so I'm very depended, submissive. I can't help myself. For me dating is not a game. For me dating is getting something I don't have in my life which is love. I know other people see dating as a game. I see dating as life and death like getting a necessity; yes, that is thirsty but it is hard not to be thirsty if you are.

I'm doing your humor exercises every week and I made a lot of progress but these dates last 4 hours. I can be very entertaining/playful and emotional for the first 3 hours but after a while I just got exhausted (introverts do) and I become massively boring. My last date: I was silly a good portion of the time but in the last hour in the sisha lounge I got boring. I feel like there is something wrong with me. This happened like 3 times in a row with other girls. 1 girl literally said to me I was boring while the other ones were polite about it. I did RSD at home and those guys say just be yourself. I can be funny for a while but eventually the girl will see that I'm a boring (or at least a silent/quite) man.

So how not to be boring though? (I'm not asking you specifically perhaps other people have some pointers on this too).. I know it is ok to be introvert but I'm just boring. Couple of girls told me my vibe is off.

That is a long process indeed. What makes me really attack myself is my boringness, my silent/quite attitude, and introvertness. I mean I'm ok with these qualities. Girls are not ok with these qualities. They want a guy with a good vibe. What I know is this: I have to enjoy my own vibe before she can join my party and enjoy it too. My vibe is good for first 2 hours of the date. After that I can really boring! Thanks but it wasn't a story, the last hour she was really bored. I could see it on her face. First couple of hours were great though. Those are good points. Thank you.

And another thing, I told her "I'm sorry" like 3 times. I never said I'm sorry to a person this many times and I couldn't stop myself saying sorry. Like I told her there were dears and there weren't any dears in the park and I said sorry. I could see on her face that it was kind of cringe.

At the end, she looked kind of bored and the vibe was off. I have no clue how to fix this or what I'm doing wrong. A lot of girls tell me directly or indirectly (or not at all) that the vibe is off. I know I have problems with my vibe, but I don't know how to fix it. It is likely she would go on another date with me but I was kind of sad that the last part of the date was boring. She was bored. I was bored.

I seduced this Polish girl called Lea. I went on a date with her the next day. I made a topic about her: I'm trying to look at this both from a glass half full and glass half empty. Positives of this date: It ignited my inner fire for self improvement and realization of my life purpose it gave me reference experience with the most beautiful girl I dated I fucked up as you can read in the thread, but fuckups are as much value as successes Negatives of this date My selfesteem is hurt and most important I'm trying to hate myself or hate aspects of myself. Truth is that I hate my awkwardness, introvertness, boringness and silence This emotional labor I need to recover from this sucks Although it sucks donkey balls to put my balls on the copping block, I do see it in perspective: one day I'm going to die and how much is this going to influence me in the grand scheme of things? I won't remember this at my death bed but how nice would it be to enjoy my life, enjoy my youth, and be on my death bed with a huge smile? I have trouble in social settings where there are a lot of girls. One on one I have good eye contact. It is not so hard to understand.

I'm looking for a book connecting math and spirituality

I'm vegan+ so I eat a lot of veggies but also meat. Thanks for the recommendations. I checked it out but they seem very technical. @ValiantSalvatore

It is a problem if you make it a problem. She is not for you for your money.

@Ethan1 do you just cook it like normal mushrooms? do you still notice the effects of the mushroom without extraction like explained in that video?

@Ethan1 listen from 6:43 on

But you have to dry it and make it a powder to make it somewhat effective right?

If you spend so much time on washing food buy prewashed. Value your time.

I have trouble with holding eye contact. Yesterday I noticed I quickly switch to the nice guy smile and I felt disgusted. Should I be disgusted about this? I know why I'm disgusted. It causes me to fuck up with girls. Girls that I want to be with I know how to look at: just have a penetrative piercing look while being grounded. But I don't want to sleep with every girl I look at or every girl that looks at me. I notice a lot of girls who have a bf look at me too. And they just hold eye contact to test me I guess. My natural look is mostly the stoic look. Just having a stoic look is creepy though so I quickly switch to the nice guy smile. Yesterday night I was really confused how to carry myself. First contact is always eye contact when going out. Currently I'm not even busy with pickup but working on being grounded. There was this girl who started dancing couple of cm in front of me and kept looking at me. She was with her gfs. I didn't even approach because I don't know how to dance with a girl. I'm good with one on one pickup but not good with groups/sets which is a whole other issue that I have to work on. For now I would like some advice on the eye contact thing.

Do pomodoro technique. Get into alpha brain wave (flow state) when working.

Too many discovered this field as a side hustle. You really don't need any coding skills to do it. I'm fully focusing on my coding skills on this moment. Are there people who have coding as their side husste? On what kind jobs are you focusing on? Is the money good? Any tips? Almost finished with the course on Java, soon starting with Python.

Tonight I saw infinity in a girl's eyes...?