StarStruck

Be authentic. You can do everything by the book but if it isn't you she won't buy it. Guys can sniff authenticity. So if you are smiling and it is fake; forget about it. Even if you can pull a fake good smile eventually she will smell it. So it is rather to have a normal smile (and be authentic) than have a huge fake smile (and be unauthentic). The problem is that when you are new you don't know what is being authentic. It is an incremental process: build it slowly.

If I have to guess: you are boring. Girls need to be emotionally stimulated in a good way or a bad way. She needs to feel alive with you.

I love picking apart Leo's comments. I won't quote him so I won't bother him: This is so true. I'm working on developing a healthy ego. Because of my upbringing I failed to set boundaries and have strong self-concept, healthy self-value and develop personal power. For people who want to develop this I recommend the book "No More mister Nice Guy". From: This is so true. And I'm still not where I want to be, but this is what we are doing it for: The thing is that I'm already extroverted but I don't have an interesting aka emotionally stimulating personality. Introversion versus extraversion is purely about how much you communicate your inner world to the outer world. I need to focus on self-entertainment aka finding out what I like, what makes me laugh, how can I approve of myself, what makes me passionate, a girl can't do that for me.

Couple of days ago I did a Salsa lesson to try it out. It was amazing. It is a gold mine for socializing with beautiful girls and social circle game. When I was there I saw a girl from a house party, she recognized me and it is kind of awkward; I would have loved to have a cute conversation with her but the conversation really didn't come off the ground. You would say "don't worry, it is not a big deal"... This girl is very popular in my city. If I can befriend her, it would be a major catalyst for my social life; it would be a game changer. In summary; I would love salsa but I'm afraid I will be disappointed. I mean: I do love dancing and I suck with dancing with girls so doing salsa is a no brainer but still; what I described above is just very cringe for me. If I don't perform socially I always attack myself. This is something I need to stop doing. Salsa dancing is very intimate. The other girls are literally in your aura. I really didn't mind it because the girls were pretty but ... I don't know. If I do take the salsa route of doing 8 weeks of salsa, it will be a challenge. And if I don't take this opportunity right now I know I will regret it. There is not much else to do in this (new) lockdown anyway: I can't go to clubs or bars (they are closed very early. I will have to play with the toys that god has presented me with. At best (and what I want) I will gain a social circle from salsa dancing, at worst I will totally make a fool out of myself trying to socialize, but at least I will add a couple of dance moves to my repertoire. Leo is so good at describing what I have to be versus what I shouldn't be

Stoic philosophy might help you. It is too vast to explain it here but there are some good books on this topic like "How to Think Like a Roman Emperor" by D Robertson.

Day game by Roosh. It is a good book if you are bad on small talk. No need to reinvent the wheel.

Leo says he would never buys drinks for girls or give free handouts. I think the same about this topic. I only buy her coffee or a cheap meal but I noticed (through introspection and felt sense) that I resent doing that. I can totally afford it and logically it is not a big deal to spend such a small amount on a girl but on an emotional level it does sting me... and girls can sense that. This already happened to me couple of times. I really try to not be influenced by such a small investment in a girl but I'm on an emotional level. What can I do about it?

What if she ends up homeless? How does leaving her on the street fit with your philosophy of embodying love? Isn't she a part of you?

Owen's business model is full blown orange. He charges like 3k for a lousy program which basically has the same value as 3 self-help books. The thing is that most guys are to lazy to read 3 self help books.

Being "stood up" So yesterday I suppose to have a first date.... and she didn't show up. She totally forgot so I was stood up as they call it in PUA. She apologized and then told me she is doubting whether to date me because she is busy which was like a slap in my face. First me being stood up and then basically telling me she is not open for dating. Two other girls flaked on me before that. I'm kind of sick of tired of dating and socializing. I still haven't managed to get a real GF out of pickup. They just don't want me. I know should focus on self-development rather than results but these failures are really taking its toll. I notice I'm developing disrespect for women because they don't show me some basic respect like cancelling on time, flaking, treating me like trash because I'm nice. My view on respect has changed. I would always have some basic respect for women but now I have lost that. I got treated bad too much.

The question is two fold. What is the minimal that you need as a guy to get in a girl's pants as ONS or fuckbuddy? And What is the minimal that you need to be a girl's boyfriend? I was contemplating about this and I was wondering the opinion of some females.

I use 3 in 1 face wash once a week. I can't be bothered with all the peculiarities of skin care.

It would be interesting to see what would happen. Women always say that society would be a much peaceful place if there were no men. This would be the perfect storm to prove if that is true or not. My prediction is that the island would be in total chaos without masculine structure. Perhaps the first few years would be OK but the women on the island would quickly develop some grudges against each other and there would be total death and destruction, without males who usually provide the structure in society. The phrase "Women are their own worst enemies" would come to full embodiment after few years on the island: https://www.theguardian.com/world/2010/nov/18/women-own-worst-enemies-study Would it shut up the extreme(!) feminists and the man hating? Probably not. They would find excuses but it would be interesting case study. The rules: Totally self-sustaining island for 10 years Fresh water source is provided but other than that they have to build they own crops No housing and so on: they have to build it themselves No leaving the island prematurely No imports of avocado's and shit No males are allowed on the island, also not for partying and shit

Probably those Russian big names.

his books are amazing

So didn't do a lot of pickup the last week. Only couple of approaches and got two phone numbers. Trying to get a date for this weekend. Couple of major lessons of this week from these two threads I created: and Summary of the lessons: There is a hierarchy of unconditional love which is men > women > children. Unconditional love trickles from men to women to children put not the other way around. In that thread somebody explained it more delicately. I can't do it justice here. This is just the summary. Never take advice from women. Period. Women care only about vibes when picked up for sex or casual dating. My definition for vibes: vibes is consciousness, and consciousness which is life, can be seen as a blessing or a punishment. In other words; do you see life as a blessing or as a punishment? That will determine what your vibe is! For long term dating, women care about vibes + survival traits in the men that will enhance female survival Men are bias towards looks. Females are bias towards feelings/vibes in the opposite sex. Biggest difference between men are women: women don't care about how the sausage is made, they just want the sausage. They are much more ruthless with dating because they are the physically weaker sex. Their shitty attitude shouldn't be taken personally. The coming period I will focus on self-expression, different sides of my personality, and just being fun/chill without checking for rapport. This is a good video to demonstrate what I'm aiming at:

There is nothing sexist about this topic. If you think there is you need to explain it.

I don't know why some people are butt hurt. In the past males were in the army for 10 years and there is enough evidence how a male dominated environment works. It would just be interesting to see how a female society would work out. It has never been tested.

@Something Funny just a mix of all spiral dynamics stages so that it is representative of the female world population.

I know. I'm just trying different styles to discover myself and broaden my self-expression. Brand's style is a little bit out of my lane but there are some traits he has that worked for me. What really put weight from my shoulder is letting go of the illusion that I have to be perfect. Girls don't even look at the things that I thought were important.

So I went on this date with this amazing Polish girl. A real blue haired brunette lolita. I approached this girl and it was a walk in the park to seduce her. Next day we went on a date. Everything was fine. We eat some pizza and went for a walk (and smoked sisha later on) In the park we were looking at some cows and I delicately grapped her from the back and I asked if I could kiss her (the first mistake) I shouldn't have asked but should have used body language and my hands to direct the kiss but she decline because she doesn't do that on the first date. Later on she said fuck boys would do that to her (kiss her and probably get more), but she didn't want to kiss me because I wasn't? That was my conclusion. But all in all I failed to establish the fuckboy frame and I was obviously disappointed. She held my hands and it felt good but I felt like a cuck. It took me two minutes or something to let it go and become not butt hurt about it. I'm glad I tried it but I don't know. I'm already doing pickup for months right now and I still can't establish the fuckboy frame. It is basically that I'm feeling inferior to her? This video explains my point very well but how to materialize it and own it? I watched this video before the date and I clearly failed. I'm very negative about my date today and I'm trying to see the glass half full. Last year I could only dream to go on a date with such a girl so I'm making progress but these kind of setbacks put me out of my equilibrium. I really had to create this thread because I feel like a little puppy and I know it shouldn't have influenced me this much. So what I'm really asking is how I can be myself without being so needy. There were some comments from her to me that really made me doubt myself. For example I told her I don't do cannabis because it makes me quite and she told me that I was already quite as I'm. That is true and that is why it hurt me. I know I should just own that quality but my inclination is just to modify myself to be like a fuckboy? I'm not happy about how girls treat me like dirt and award the fuckboys. This girl literally told me - indirectly - she does reward fuckboys and it just pains my heart that girls reward such guys and punish (nice) guys like me and I don't know how to deal with it! To be honest I don't want to become a fuckboy. I just want to be myself, without being boring and too silent in her presence. I also made some stupid comments like telling her that nicotine is poison! We were smoking sisha and she just stopped smoking it and it kind of killed the mood. I really need to step out of this logical/intellectual mode and I can be that for some while but eventually I turn to my real self where I'm boring and very quite.

I've tried this vibe: You can only pull this off if you have the confidence, self-expression and personality. In my opinion it is like this: the pie is confidence, the candles are funniness, chillness, silliness, and so on. If you can pull this vibe, your success rate will be very high (I've only approached 2 girls and both were a hit). Girls love this vibe. But the thing is you can pull such a stunt like Russel Brand: eventually she will be bored because you can't keep up with being a dancing clown.

That was a joke but you are right. I'm like that sometimes.

That is really hard to wrap my head around because currently women get repulsed when I'm truly myself, which I totally get by the way: sometimes I can be boring and in my head. I also can be fun and chill but those part of my personality are the candles on the pie. There are the candles and the pie. The pie itself is quite bland. lol.

Not at all.