Raptorsin7

@Serotoninluv But then what is there to get. If everything is within everything then i'm just stuck in a loop of looking for something that i'm never going to find. But even if there's nothing to get because everything in reality is just arising from formlessness then how come you seem to get it and I don't. Clearly you guys know something about my experience that i don't. That's what i'm trying to figure out. What am i missing here that seems so obvious to everyone else?

@Inliytened1 But what does the experience of formlessness feel like? I can sit here and just feel, and it feels different than my typical lost in thought all day type of living, but how do I know if this is it. How do i know when i actually get it vs when i'm deluding myself

@silene They can't point to IT, IT being the non-dual nature of reality (I think). They can only sort of nudge you along until you realize it for yourself. That makes sense, but I'm still confused as to what exactly i'm looking for here. Sometimes I think i get it, but then i just get lost in thought again and i'm confused.

@Inliytened1 not helpful (:

@Preety_India Meditation and Enlightenment work are designed to deal with the type of suffering you are describing. Also, there is a silver lining to your suffering and pain. People who live normal, happy lives never have a reason to question there own happiness. If you have a happy enough life for long enough then you will never look deeper into reality and discover what is actually going on in reality. To find the highest levels of happiness you have to suffer first, because otherwise why would you ever seek it out. This is all a blessing. It's fucked I know, but it's true.

What exactly changed when you had this realization. Can you go into more detail about what happened that effectively ended your seeking? Can you explain why whenever people give pointing out instructions, they always say they can't show you it they can only point you towards it? What are they pointing you (I know it's the non-dual nature of reality etc etc), but what part of my direct experience are the pointing out instructions getting me to observe? Do you have tips for someone trying to awaken over a short period? I have 3 weeks off for Christmas break and I want to make some serious progress with my enlightenment work, do you have tips?

Is Sam starting to put part of his podcast behind a pay wall now? I really like the podcast, but i stopped listening when he got away from meditation topics and got more political.

if what you are doing is not making you feel great and amazing then you're doing something wrong. Change it up. Then watch your life change around you.

@silene Have you read Nahm's thread on using a dream board. I think many of us underestimate how much progress we can make in our lives without actually reaching enlightenment. There's no need to go be a monk living in a monastery. You can make the path compatible with your life and grow the practice when you feel it's right and effortless.

@Raphael That's awesome man. I'm glad all your dedication is paying off.

I've been feeling kind of depressed recently during the day. At night it's ok because i do yoga and then smoke weed and meditate, but throughout the day I just feel off and I think it will be good to express my feelings fully here. I am starting to feel more comfortable expressing myself on this forum, and I think i need to some sort of mind dump to get everything off my chest. I'm going to do everything in bullet form basically and try and express the feeling as concisely as i can. I hate law school. Ok, it's not that i hate it it's just i don't like being there and i feeling like i'm wasting my time. I know i don't want to practice law, and it's hard to motivate myself to do the work and try my best. I literally don't give a fuck about the law at all, i want to start a business and do what i want. I also don't know if this is just my resistance to doing the work. Am i just fucking afraid of sitting down and studying?? It's not hard to pass in law school, and i can probably get by barely doing any work, but then why the fuck am I here. I have exams coming up, and 5 of the 6 are help not hurt so it literally doesn't matter how i do on them. The ONLY reason i care about these exams is because i don't want to tell my friends i failed exams and have them think down on me. But at the same time all of this shit is just in my fucking head so who cares? I love my lifestyle outside of law school though. My fucking life is funded, i can do anything... I can go anywhere.... But i'm still not happy and content. I'm making great progress with meditation and i feel like i'd literally be happier if i was sitting in a cave all day because I know i can just keep coming back to the nothingness inside that i'm uncovering. But that's fucking bull shit. I know i can be happy here, but i'm not. This is the main motivation for staying in law school, my life outside law school is very conducive to spiritual progress. I can literally spend all day meditating and ordering take out, and do whatever I want. I'm so blessed, but why don't i feel fucking blessed. My parents are so generous to me because they don't want me to be a loser, like my brother. But i feel like i'd be making so much more progress if i was working with them part time, and pursuing online businesses and spirituality in my spare time. They won't accept that. And honestly i don't even accept that, i'm afraid of people calling me and thinking of me as a failure or a loser for dropping out. But who cares? There opinions mean nothing. I feel like i have the answers here, but my family is too blind to help me uncover it. Why can't my family just say hey that's a great idea you can self actualize and work a bit, and we will support you. I am too dependent on my family. I should be supporting my self. That's what they truly want is for me to be self sufficient. But that gets me back to law school. I am not going to be a fucking lawyer. I told them this. And they just get nervous and say keep going because they think i will change my mind and say no mom and dad i fucking love being a lawyer, my dream is to work 50 hours a week for someone else's law firm while i do busy paper work all day everyday. That's so fucking awesome right guys? That's the future you want for me? I can't even blame them at all, my dad's a fucking farmer he works 100 hours a week in the summers. Like hard fucking work. How would he understand what i'm going after with spirituality. The guy has no clue. I think i'm ready for a girlfriend. But i just don't meet girls i'm super attracted too. Today on the bus i saw a really pretty girl, she made me a feel a certain way. I get a certain feeling from some girls and i want to meet someone that gives me that feeling. There are some girls in my yoga class that i think are interested in me, i notice how they wait for me after class because i always take the longest to leave. But idk i just don't find them that attractive. Do i just try and date them? Will i learn to love them over time? I'm afraid i'm going to get in a relationship and then meet someone better in a few days. I have such high expectations who can live up? I want to find her really attractive, i want her to be somewhat smart, kind, rich, well put together. Anything else i feel like i would be wasting my time. I'm just waiting for her to come to me, but at the same time i need to take responsibility. i have no idea what to do in this space. I'm 24 and i've never had a girlfriend. It doesn't bother me, but it's obviously a sign something is off with my ego. I have a major issue with taking responsibility. I do not feel in control of my own life. It's always about my mind, my family, my fucking problems. But what is personal responsibility? When i think of taking responsibility I feel so much resistance and pain. When i go to meditate it feels effortless and feels right. Shouldn't responsibility come naturally and effortlessly? I'm going to be working with Nahm soon. I know he's going to stress the importance of personal responsibility. I'm very excited to work with him. I've always thought life coaches were stupid and only hippy losers did this is as a job. But Nahm is the man. He started business before doing this work. That is my goal too. Become financially independent and then come back here and help people like Nahm is helping me. I was very resistant to the idea of life coaching only a few months ago, i think it will be very beneficial to me. i hope anyways.

@Nahm Thank you very much. Very inspiring post. I resonate with you just wrote but right now it seems so far away. Do you remember when you were at this point in your path? What worked for you? Clearly there are many limiting thoughts like the one's you mentioned above? But how do i stop believing them? I want to believe that my life is amazing. That this moment right is better than any dream i've ever had? But I don't feel it this moment.

Can you get a runner's high from just meditating? Can you explain your process on your run? How you feel and deal with the pain at different stages in your run? Can you get a runner's high consistently?

@Nahm How does gratitude work? I always imagined when I was happy with my life I would be so grateful for everything in it, and the appreciation would come effortlessly because who doesn't leave a dream life. I also realize that my life now is perfectly compatible with my idea of a dream life, it's not the life, it's the feeling about your life so technically everything can be a dream life. But when i'm grateful i don't really FEEL grateful. I'm just getting into the habit of doing this because I don't really know what else to do, and i don't have a lot of resistance about starting to write down what i'm grateful for

Very cool idea. Good luck

@LfcCharlie4 Can you explain the enneagram a little bit. How do you use it to improve your life? Or maybe pm me i don't want to hijack the thread.

@Preety_India That's true. But I think as a practice if you just do your best to just ignore thoughts and just live moment to moment then over time thoughts will not be an issue for you. But in the meantime you will face problems like the one you described above. We can only ever do our best in the moment, so just do your best with the bad thoughts then when it passes just keep on going with the practice.

Thanks everyone. I'll keep working.

@Preety_India I'm starting to try and live with just ignoring my thoughts. No matter if they're positive or negative. Just trying to detach from the story that I keep telling myself. I'll see how it goes.

I have toxic beliefs about romantic relationships and I wonder if anyone can relate, or was in my situation and managed to overcome it. I have never had a girlfriend, but i have had some sexual experience. I don't find a lot of girls attractive and i feel like I have standards, physically, career/intelligence, and personal development. I feel like i have a lot of superficial dating standards like the one's i listed above, and I don't know how limited they are. I'm afraid that if i date someone i might find someone i like more very soon after, and so it scares me from taking a chance with a girl i'm not sure about because i don't want to her hurt or go through the pain myself. I am social, but i don't have an expanding social net work. It's basically, school and yoga. I do a lot of personal development work so i'm hoping as i improve as a person my life will open up more and i will naturally meet people and this stuff will resolve itself. But at the same time i feel like i need to take an active role in my situation and put myself out there more. I am definitely super resistant to taking the hard road and just asking out a bunch of girls and going on a ton of dates until i meet someone i really like. What are the biggest things holding me back?

I have an intramural basketball game coming up on thursday, and it's the playoffs so i really want to win and dominate. What are your tips for getting in the zone in sports and playing at your absolute best. I definitely have a lot of fear and resistance in sports, and i usually end up being very streaky. Ill have times where i play really well, and i have times when i just suck and do nothing. How can i dominate. My plan is to do 90 minutes in the float tank, meditate, and listen to some pump up music before hand. I want to get michael jordan level psychotic for this game...

Why don't I see the beauty in this moment like you do. I'm aware this is the only moment there is. The past not exist. The future does not exist. This is it. But this still feels lacking. I'm not satisfied with this.

I am thankful that I am not enlightened yet. I am thankful that at this moment in my life I am not as happy as I know I could be. I am thankful for these experiences because now I know what it's like to not be enlightened. That way when I wake up I will have a strong desire to help others wake up too. I will know their pain. Because right now I am their pain.

Gratitude: Thank you for this lap top. Thank you for this apartment. Thank you for this beautiful city Thank you for my health Thank you for the ability to be aware of negative emotions, so they can be changed and life can be improved Thank you for the meditation practice. Thank you for starting meditation 2.5 years ago so the practice is as advanced as it is. Thank you for the willingless and drive to improve life Thank you for making these december exams help not hurt, so i don't need to stress. Thank you for this chapter in my life that will make me so appreciative when life gets better Thank you to @Nahm advising me to use the dream board. Thank you for the opportunity to live this dream, and become truly happy. Thank you for the financial support that was not earned Thank you for the freedom to pursue anything and everything

@assx95 Focus on developing yourself. It's going to be hard to just develop over night into the kind of person who wouldn't accept this kind of unhealthy relationship. But if you focus on improving your own life, internally, then you will notice the rest of your life will fall into place in a way that doesn't cause you suffering. You clearly recognize that your situation is toxic. Go 1 step at a time and work on all relevant parts of your life that led you to this toxic situation.