Raptorsin7

@zeroISinfinity What did you do exactly to break through. I'm starting to just accept whatever there is in experience throughout the day, which i can tell is incredibly important. But this alone isn't enough. I have heard @Nahm talk about how i must have beliefs and thoughts that are preventing from me seeing the magic in the world and truly feeling love. What did you do to address your core beliefs and thoughts? Or did you just get to your cosmic orgasms by just meditating?

@Meditationdude No problem good luck man.

@Lento That all makes sense to me. I am also not speaking from experience. I can be present, and I can recognize the space within but I haven't had any major awakenings yet. I wonder if full acceptance and integration of the ego will ultimately lead one to transcend it. If this guy is talking about actively denying your ego, i agree with your def by the way, then i agree he's wrong. But if he means that through full acceptance of each moment, that will ultimately lead to the end of the thoughts arising, and you just live in the state of non-dual awareness until your body dies then that kinda makes sense. Have you gone full circle? Who is this "you" that is the master of the ego?

@zeroISinfinity Go right through the resistance? I feel a lot of resistance to deep breathing. How do i reconcile the paradox of forcing myself to deep breathly, vs just being present and letting the breathing do it's own thing?

@Meditationdude I would work with a teacher man. You seem like you have so much figured out, and you just have a few blind spots or kinks you need to workout. Go read some bio's and stories and see who's story or style resonates with you. You may have reached the end of what you can accomplish on your own.

@aklacor727 Got depressed about 3-4 years ago, I was 19, and after a year I finally got sick of it and it took action and completely transformed my life. Took my about 2 weeks to feel better than i had ever felt, and I thought i was done with personal development because i felt so amazing. Fast forward 6 months from that point, I reverted back to many pre-depression behaviors and life kinda went back to being dull. Started watching Leo's videos and started a meditation habit about 2.5 years ago. Now, i'm about 4 months into using this forum religiously and I feel like i'm close to a breakthrough like I was when i overcame depression. The key for me, and maybe for others too, is going to into your deep inner pain. Most of us are running from something within ourselves. If you feel restless or irritable just sitting down and being then you likely have something within you are not facing. Go into the pain and accept without judgement, practice unconditional presence, and I think on the other side is love.

This is a post from @Nahm's thread on meditation. I only just came upon it now and it has a lot of gems. Meditation Preparations & Considerations of The Temple (The Body) Maintain toxin free hygene, such as with: preservatives, fluoride, aluminum, mercury, & neurotoxin free products and water. Get a routine physical & full comprehensive blood report, and review it with your doctor (preferably a Holistic Dr) Eat clean. Food is mood, mood is clarity. Listen to your body & educate yourself about food; calories, nutrients, vitamins, supplements, etc. . Exercise if you are able, as early in the day as you are able. Don’t eat after 8pm, drink water instead. Be mindful of honesty, humility, & compassion. Pause to allow the presence of love when creating responses, vs mindlessly reacting. Get 8 hrs of sleep. Meditate early in the morning, before eating, and before any thought engaging activities like; - all screens, reading anything, listening to any thing or anyone, talking to anyone, etc. - thinking itself (learn not to engage in thinking, by being aware of it when it (the engagement / trigger-triggered) happens. Love yourself enough to do this, your quality of life will be greatly enhanced by your commitment and followthrough of daily meditation. This is ‘putting the experience of being’ - first - and then going about your day. It is a total game changer. Get up as early as needed to make this possible for yourself. You’ll only fall asleep earlier as a result, and enjoy being more aligned with the circadian rhythm of all life. Do not ask others to accommodate you so that you can do this. Accommodate them, if needed, so that you can do this. Do not create conditions or contingencies which “allow” that you can do this. Refrain from entangling any other person in ‘enabling’ your practice. Simply get up earlier, and be patient when tired, you’ll be falling asleep earlier soon. (Deeper Considerations) If the things above have been genuinely accommodated, and there is an overwhelming apparent struggle, such that you honestly can not meditate, beginning with just 10 minutes a day, that is fine. Do not judge yourself, love yourself - address this easily, and maturely by applying what is needed: Add creative expression in your days with what feels right for you, such as; journaling, creative writing, drawing, learning an instrument, singing, sculpting, building, carving, dancing - any act of creating and expressing, which feels good to you. Sign up for a drawing or painting class, etc. The past and or trauma may be deeply entwined in the ego, unknowingly suppressed, held out of the light of awareness. Be humble, and be smart - get help bringing things to the surface, into the light, out into the open. That is relief. Talk with a ‘wise’ & carefree person you know and trust, schedule time with practitioners of well being; massage, reiki, therapy, yoga, etc, - choose to experience the combination you are needing. You will be glad you did. Proper Foundation The quality of tomorrow’s meditation is impacted by all of the above. Recognize these as the basics, the foundation. This is - first “cleaning the house”. If you are not yet finding peace in meditation, the things above are likely insightful and actionable. Use them as a checklist, add to it what you learn works and doesn’t work for you. Be mindful of the process, not the goal or outcome. What you discover and accomplish yourself, will only enable you to help others with their suffering as well. Posture, Balance & Relaxation Sit with spine straight, entire body equally balanced, head tilted slightly forward. Scan for any muscles in tension - from balancing the body, and reposition in better balance. Repeat until seated in balance; drop all muscle tension, and see if you lean; if so, adjust again / reposition for balance. Relax every muscle, from crown of head, through body, to the toes - in waves of letting go, over and over. If you struggle to ‘find the particular muscle’ to be able to ‘let it go’, simply tense that muscle with the appropriate thought, ex: “tense the right shoulder” - this is to locate it specifically - only to relax it / let it go, specifically (only needed initially, if at all). Stay with each muscle until you feel it release: Feel the crown of the head muscles release, feel the temples release, feel the eye sockets release, feel the cheek muscles release, feel the neck muscles release, the shoulders, the upper back, the lower back, the arms, the hands, the fingers, the chest, the stomach, the hips, the thighs, the knees, the calves, the ankles, the feet, the toes - all tension pouring out through the toes. *Stay with each muscle until you feel it release, then move to the next. Be mindful, vigilant of any habit forming. Feel every step. Feel each specific muscle release. * Repeat this, from crown to toes, over and over, feeling each “pass” more deeply relaxing each targeted muscle than the pass before. Notice the entire body unifying in relaxation. Meditation Do not move the body, allow it to relax into deep sleep and disappear from sensation & awareness. Mind fully alert & present; awaken every cell, enthusiastic presence, a tiger at-the-ready to pounce. Notice all senses are one sense, being. Being is breathing, being is breathed in, being is breathed out. Notice the ineffable spaciousness, the silent emptiness. It is whole, perfect, calm, peaceful. It continues on in all directions. Revel in the perfect peace, in innocence, as you recognize the purity that you have always known. Allow Meditation “Practice” To Become A Meditative Lifestyle As you go about your day, notice this peace is still present, this silence, this being - is always present, always the soundbed underlying and allowing all sounds, the spaciousness underlying and allowing all objects and activities, the emptiness allowing all thoughts to arise. Carry this into each day, mindful of the effortless nature of awareness. Conscious of any tension in any muscle, relax it, mindful of the one sense; without identification, without reaction, peaceful non-engagement. Notice the arising perspectives of unification & connection. Surrender perspectives of separation by allowing them to pass, and return to the everpresent peace and silence which allows all things. When you notice reaction, wether muscular or mental, relax, detach by being again aware, non-reactionary. Even as reactions occur, wether physical, mental, or verbal, be aware of, not involved in. Relax crown to toes, effortless awareness is always available & ample. Notice the sound of a voice, is not the sound of your voice. Be that unattached, and that aware, ‘that’ voice is no longer your voice, it never was. You are all sounds, all voices, all things. Be aware all transpires in the ‘one sense’, precisely where it is seen, exactly where it is heard. One Sense, one awareness. Notice thoughts are not your thoughts, be aware thoughts are things, like trees are trees; there is no mechanism found for justification of “yours”, that is just another thought; awareness is unconditional and omnipresent, and never appears in pieces, and has never not appeared, it will never let you down. Notice there is one sense, one awareness, notice the body and mind are a body and mind which transpires in this peaceful awareness, notice a body and mind is not your body and mind, notice there is one sense, one awareness, all is transpiring and arising in. After some practice a couple new things arise... When you have returned home, in the peace of non-reaction, the finite ceo / “decision maker”/ over thinker/over thinking - naturally recedes, and the intelligence will manipulate the body (it actually is “the body”) , aligning things, stretching things, cracking things, etc, just allow this. It’s difficult not to mentally react to this at first because it’s new, just relax again, it is curative, trust it - notice a person is not doing this, infinite intelligence is. Mindful appreciation. With enough surrender, deep relaxation, the brain & body & thought will disappear from the one sense, from awareness, and only breathing remains. The breathe will minimize on it’s own until there is little to no breathing, (don’t “attempt” or “do” this). In “witnessing” the falsity or illusionary nature of the breathe, awareness is deeply “aware of awareness”. This is a euphoric experience. Don’t go telling people. They will not believe you, and you’ll sound crazy, cause, of course we have to breathe, otherwise we would not be “alive”. Next, Utilize The Emptied Mind For Self Inquiry

@Lento I also watched his video. Why is he wrong? Isn't the ultimate goal for full transcendence of the ego, and to live in a constant state of non-dual awareness motivated by love and intuition and not thinking and doership? What part of the ego can we befriend?

@Surfingthewave I also feel i am close too thank you for those words of encouragement. Yes, i still feel it's here inside of me I just feel disconnected from it. Unconditional presence is what is described in the article, i imagine that's the same idea.

https://lonerwolf.com/spiritual-escapism/ Very powerful website. I have learned a lot from it over the past few days. I have been engaging in spiritual escapism. I am running from the restless feeling deep inside me. If i am just present with the moment, and let go to myself then i experience incredible resistance. On the other side of this restlessness is love and happiness. Two questions will guide me moving me forward as I practice other inner work. 1. What am i running from? 2. The practice of unconditional presence. Not a question haha I am close. Today i felt genuine progress. I am also going to start going for walks at night. I just went for a walk in the rain and I felt really good during and after. A key is to surrender to the present moment.Whatever the moment it holds it doesn't matter. Surrender. In the surrender to what is you will find what you have been looking for.

Is the entire spiritual seeker's path just an inability to sit with ourselves and be at peace? Is it our avoidance of the pain of the present when we just sit and feel whatever there is to be felt? Can the spiritual journey even be defined this so simplistically? Thoughts?

Do you practice shadow work? Maybe you have an integrated trauma or shadow side you haven't gone inside and acknowledged? Have you talked to an enlightenment coach, or talked 1-1 with someone who you perceive as truly awakened? There's a poster on here @LfcCharlie4 who speaks pretty confidently about how much help working with a teacher was for him. Maybe go through his post history and look at what he's saying, he seems like he's got the right idea about the spiritual path from what i've seen so far. Sounds like you're in a good position though. Maybe if you look inside and ask yourself you will find the answer you're looking for.

@Florian It resonated with me a lot, and I wasn't sure if it could help you. I am seeking a "better' life. Happiness, love, bliss, etc. Not sure if you're a "seeker" too, just thought i would share the resource.

@Surfingthewave Yea i read an article about spiritual escapism, and it really hit home. I think healing my inner trauma and reconnecting with my self is the key to my growth from here on out. A few years i got depressed, and after a year i finally got sick of it and completely transformed my life. I had never felt better. I always wondered what i did what worked such magic. I think i practiced some form of ad hoc inner work that compounded back then and that's what the "trick" was of my transformation. https://lonerwolf.com/spiritual-escapism/ This is the website I found. What kind of inner work are you practicing now?

https://lonerwolf.com/spiritual-escapism/ Does that article resonate with where you're at in your journey?

I think self help is a form of spirituality. And many spiritual practices are a form of self help. The purpose of all this stuff is to improve your direct experience. To improve your life right NOW. So the distinction doesn't really matter, they are both targeting your experience as a human and are aiming to improve it in whatever way that matters to you. I think the distinction could be coming from a judgement on self help. Like, i'm not into self help that's for undeveloped people. But i'm really into spirituality that's more advanced.

Do you practice shadow work or inner work? Also, did you do Leo's life purpose course?

@Lento It's more than silence for me at this point. I can sit in silence for hours, but i get lost in thoughts and sensations and repeatedly before just beginning again over and over. But there is also pain in my soul. Like if i ask the question what am I running from, I can feel tension/pain/avoidance in the moment. The pain goes beyond the silence. I can be silent without going into the pain. But i'm pretty sure that pain within me is the root of my seeking/unhappiness. And I wonder if this is true for other seeks like me.

@LfcCharlie4 I've been reading your post history, and for some reason people have such a strong negative reaction to your posts lol. From my pov what you're talking about seems like an ideal path for a western seeker. We want the benefits of enlightenment and spirituality, but we don't want to get live in robes or get crucified on a cross because of the teachings lol. But maybe the reason you get so much flack is because you're missing something? Why do you think people are so resistant?

Good luck! I'm also trying to get some LSD while back home from school. Been meaning to add psycs to my path for a while now, pretty pumped to get it going.

@zeroISinfinity I believe it's true too. But still confused about how to progress. Feels like i'm going in circles, and making some progress then losing it the next day sorta deal. Going to focus on my breathing during meditation more. Pretty sure my breathing quality has been really poor.

This was also from Nahm* Emotions have been created thus far based on the relationship to the outside world...circumstances, events, etc. This script must be flipped. Emotions are actually, and always have been, created by the inner world “Relationship”, the relativity between thought, and infinite being / absolute Love. At whatever pace you’re comfortable with, you and reality, will be turned inside out. There will be highs, and there will be lows. But in the end, everything will make sense, really, really, really Good sense (feeling). Btw...this is what every religion, spiritual teacher, every guru, and everyone who loves you, everyone who really just freakin loves you - has been talking about.

This is post by @Nahm from another one of my journals. This spoke to me a lot, and i wanted to post it here so I have access to it in my current journal You’re ‘tasting’ the bitterness of the separate self. Not at first glance maybe, but it’s a wonderful thing. The separate self is the one in the thought story, the one in the past, the one in the future - where feeling is not. It seems to me you are discovering this clue, this “there must be more to life than this”. It’s not too far of a stretch imo to say - welcome to the ox pics. Indeed, there is much more. Expressing gratitude & appreciation in thoughts & words can tune one into the feeling, for sure, without a doubt. However, on a ten scale, figuratively speaking, this might take one from 0 to 3. Later, full circle, turquoise, nondual, this is the default, though it would then not be described as gratitude or appreciation, but visceral amazement, disbelief, childlike wonderment. I’m going to really scrutinize the clues, and I hope it’s helpful... The biggest challenge on the path, the name of the game, is precisely what you’re getting clued into - suffering & the separate self. Self referential thinking - thoughts, about yourself - over time, have constructed a sort of seemingly solid idea, of you. But that ain’t you. That, is conceptual, and is more or less void of feeling. So welcome to deconstruction. Contemplate, with “new eyes”, presence - mindfulness - what you’re encountering at this point, is exactly what those words were coined to point to - being here, now, where feeling is. And furthermore, diving into this ocean of consciousness, awareness, of Love. For now (terrible pun sorry)...just practice: Being attentive, to what you have thus far been inattentive to. Didn’t seem like a big deal, letting the mind wander, thinking, overthinking, etc. We all go there. This is the intellectual era. Most die there. Some of us, die now. One little deconstruction of the separate self at a time. ”I always imagined” Imagination is arguably the greatest facet a ‘human’ ’has’, but, when we involve happiness and gratitude, we can create a trap while simultaneously getting snared in it. It’s a triple trap really, that I am human, that I am the idea of who I am as a human, compounded with that I expect to be able to wander via the undisciplined mind, and still feel. If right now, and for the next year, I imagine when I’ll be happy and appreciative...________ - ...notice I’ve already blown it. I left now, and made my happiness conditional - the condition, is time. I did this merely with thought, about me, in the future....where happiness is expected to be. Because the truth is that there is no separate self, there is no past, and there is no future - that what appears to be a time space continuum (“physical reality”) is actually an infinite being, appearing as time & space - because that’s actually the actuality - feeling - which is only of infinite being, not of the separate self in thoughts - is only here & now. The source of feeling is absolute unconditional love...unconditional, as in, the finite mind says “meh...later in life..I’m busy”......Feeling, all knowing, all loving, nowhere & no thing more worthwhile to be than “you” - says “Ok, cool. You got it my man”. Very, very loosely, you might say this is the “catch”. Infinite being is unconditional. Loving you so much, no matter what you do...that it can slip by unnoticed. Absolutely unconditional. But alas... THIS IS A DREAM. YOU ARE THE INFINITE BEING. The metadventure is well underway. Welcome to it brutha. The separate self is a virtual expert at taking living, and reality, for granted.

@Leo Gura I think it's a bit harsh to say never lend money to anyone. I'd say don't lend money to anyone with the expectation of getting it back. If you are expecting to get it back or need it back then don't do it. If you want to help someone in need, and it's an amount you are comfortable losing it then i'd say go for it.

@Alex bAlex I would be concerned with the legality. If you honestly think someone is suicidal or just dangerous call the police right away. If something happens to them while you're driving them or they get violent with you or something you could get fucked. There's no downside besides time if you call the police, and it's better to be safe than sorry. Also, tell the person you are going to call the police. If they are not serious about being suicidal that will jolt them and they will likely leave you alone because they don't want to deal with the cops