Raptorsin7

How’s the clean diet, fitness, etc? Also, are you believing thoughts about yourself, or no? Do you meditate, write about the feelings that arise, put what you want on a dream board? Very important advice from @Nahm These are basics that I am going to focus on mastering moving forward.

@Bill W Very true. I am guilty of that with this forum for sure. I've been using it to distract from the core changes I need to make in my life. But that's changing now. Yeah i think everyone here who is improving themselves here suffers from similar core problems, we just have different ways of going about it.

@Bill W No problem. Here's my perspective on pills and supplements. They do something. I think a lot of our problems, especially anxious people like you and me, is we have difficulty breaking our patterns. Like right now i'm unhappy and depressed. The labels don't matter so much, but the point is my life is going in a direction i'm just not happy with anymore. So, i need to make a change. Whatever i'm doing in my day is feeding the state that i don't like anymore. So here's where pills come in. It's hard to just stop what you're doing in the moment and transform your life. It requires discipline, focus etc. Pills can change your state so you're better able to make changes to your life so you can get the ball rolling in another direction and build a life you actually like living. But here's the problem. Many people, I think, take pills and expect the changed state to be the end of the game. They take the pills and they think okay i've handled my problem, depression addiction etc, but they don't actually make structural changes to their lives. If you use pills to help get the ball rolling to do all the other things that are necessary to improve your life, like changing your diet, seeing a therapist, getting out of your house, then they will be much more effective. That's my 2 cents anyways.

@Bill W Hey man. I am also an anxious person too. Okay, so i take it in pill form. I take 2 pills in the morning, and the first day i really noticed a dramatic effect but i haven't been paying as much attention to the effect recently. I am new to the nootropic game so i can't provide a ton of help. But i have heard a lot of positive reviews from taking the right supplement on the forum, and i'm open minded so i'm trying it out. Have you checked out the nootropics mega thread? The two i'd recommend trying are pharma gaba and l-theanine. One thing i've realized lately though is be very careful with the rest of your diet. My suspicion is these supplements are subtle in their effect, so if you're downing junk food and taking these you won't get much out of it. Which is what i've been up and until recently lol. I think it's worth trying for sure though. I think L-theanine and pharma gaba are supposed to stack well with coffee. So if you drink coffee but you get jittery or too worked up then these supplements can help directly with that.

@Arcangelo That's awesome about your cousin's husband. Better be careful he might pull you into green Keep it up bud

What I accomplished today: Float tank 90 minutes- This will be very important in my healing process. I want to try to and do the tank everyday, or as often as possible. Meditation- This habit needs work. I don't usually feel very relaxed after my meditation, which should be the entire point for me right now. I'm going to start reading TMI so i can have a better grasp of the meditation technique. I think i'll continue exploring with guided and just plain deep breathing and see what sticks. Walk at night- I really enjoy going for walks. Right now i like walks at night because i have anxiety about just walking around during the day randomly. I think morning walks can be good. But for now i will do night walks because that is better than nothing. I did not order take out. I ate all my meals from food i had at my home which was big for me. Food is mood. This is one area of my life i have yet to ever make real progress in and there is tremendous possibility for growth. I'm going to start by just limiting the amount of take out I order and the types of take out. I was active in reminding myself of my purpose. My purpose is to heal. This will be in the mind with everything I do moving forward. I want to help others who deal with problems i am dealing with now. But first I need to heal.

I want to get into therapy to work on unresolved trauma and my depression. Any tips on choosing a good therapist? Are there markers or signs of a good therapist in your experience? Any other thoughts. Thank you.

@Eph75 I'm very committed. I have been trying to improve myself mostly on my own, and with the forum. But I think I need to reach out and get more help. Thanks

@zeroISinfinity I'm not sure if i'm ready for the truth yet though. I think i'm better served focusing my attention on more basic self help for now. Proper diet, routine, making friends, treating my depression. I'm not abandoning the path, i'm still going to meditate and talk to @Nahm. But i need to walk before i can run. My ego is very big. I need this humbling process I think. Were you depressed and unhappy before you found truth @zeroISinfinity? I can feel myself, or consciousness in my eyes when i ask the question who am I. This became clearer during my LSD trip. But I don't know how this helps me right now. I have a lot of inner work to do to heal, maybe i'm just not ready? I don't know though.

@Elisabeth @Red-White-Light I'm very motivated to overcome my troubles so I might not have to be too picky here. As long as they help me grow and overcome my problems that will be enough. How have you guys found therapy has helped you?

@Charlotte That's a cool graphic. Yea my motivation for the gym is definitely extrinsic at this point.

I had a successful LSD trip. I didn't get a peak experience, or a non-dual state or anything. But I realized that I need help. I have a lot of work to do on my mental health, physical health, diet etc. My purpose moving forward is to heal myself. This is the goal for me right now. Therapy, float tank, yoga, diet, gym, coaching sessions. These are the tools that i'm going to use to heal my mind and my spirit. This work is very humbling. Part of me thought i'd walk in here with my meditation practice and hit enlightenment easy. This was misguided on my part. I have much work to do before I can even think about tackling enlightenment. This is all excellent news. I can start addressing the root causes of my unhappiness by taking practical steps, and not holding up some esoteric goal like enlightenment to keep me going. I don't need enlightenment to end my unhappiness and dissatisfaction with life. A big message from my trip was to love the truth. The truth will set me free. I am aware that I lie a lot, but the extend of my lying may be even deeper than i ever anticipated. I'm in 24/7 heal mode from now on.

I find that "I" am always trying to solve my problems. I am consistently thinking about how to improve my life. I think about lists, I think about what i really want to do each day. Aside from structural aspects of my life like school, I am constantly just thinking about how to improve my life and be happy. But if i really think about it, I don't really know what to do because if I did then I wouldn't be seeking happiness. Is there another part of my experience that I can look to on a daily basis for advice how to improve my life? I've heard that people must learn to trust their intuition or their "gut" as they progress deeper into this work. But I don't know what my intuition is saying to do, or i'm repressing the intuition. Is there something in my direct experience that I can turn to for inspiration on how to solve goals, other than more thinking?

This quote is from a post made by the user below. This is truth in my opinion. This really resonated with me. My parents love was always my connection to the divine through Unconditional Love. When my dad cheated on my mom is exactly the moment i felt this fall from grace. Now after a dozens of awakening experiences and integrating the shadow i realize more and more that our pure love as a child was our bridge to the Divine. We just forgot. Want to see how conditioned we've become? Love yourself deeply as a state of being (without per se chasing the emotion). And see how it triggers a feeling of inferiority, shame, fear of betrayal etc. These emotions are ingrained in us after we've felt heartbreak. To not happen again. We don't want to feel Love/the Divine because there is nothing more painful than it being taken from us. The trick is recognizing it was you all the time which was Love. Not your parents. No one else. They just symbolized a part of yourself. @Visionary

@WelcometoReality Fair point. I will contemplate.

@WelcometoReality Because i'm tired of my normal life but i don't want to die so i'm stuck.

@WelcometoReality That's too far for me. Like i read that sentence and my mind thinks my world will collapse around me. So clearly i'm self defeating myself here with my mind. I want truth. But i don't want to die in the process. So i'm stuck haha

@WelcometoReality Sounds terrifying.

Facts. How do i start this process in my direct experience?

So i'm on the come down and still sort of high on LSD. Number one message from the trip that i'm taking away is: I'm sick and I need to heal That is my mission statement or at least it should be. I am really sick and ill. I need to help myself get out of this jam i'm in. I'm stuck. I have a choice to either act from love or fear. Act from love and everything will be okay. New number one message lol: Go find a good therapist that can help deal me with these emotional issues. I think i've done all I can do i gotta look beyond myself for help now.

@Stakres @Reils If you guys pm please post the transcripts or invite haha. Seems like a nuclear level convo in the making

How do you workout for 2.5 hours? Unless i'm in yoga class I find i half ass my workouts a lot and I have difficulty pushing myself hard enough where I feel deeply satisfied after the workout. Sorry to hijack lol but i'm just curious if others have the same problem when starting out in working out/training.

@Fede83 My advice is to find someone online you can talk to through skype. Look for both therapists and life coaches online and find someone who resonates with you strongly. Send them a message about what you want, and see if they give you a good response. @Nahm I think is good. But you have to find someone that you trust and resonate with.

@Stakres Not sure I don't feel love. But the name of the game seems to be love from what i've learned so far. You either get it or you don't. I think we've hijacked the thread enough. We can just continue in PM.

@Stakres Do you know what love is? Do you feel it in your life in almost anything you do? Do you love me?