Raptorsin7

Dam I think i had a break through. I need to channel my depression into psychotic competitenvess. This will allow to move up the emotional scale inot this stage. And it will be great because i can channel this into my video game. Competition here we come. Dam I think i'm going to hit platinum by Friday. I feel a win streak coming.

Okay I didn't do LSD today. Maybe saturday. But i feel better. I think i've been lislabeling the emotional scale. I was thinking i've been stuck at boredom and contentment lmao. Nope. I've been stuck at the lowest tier, like insecurity, shame, guilt, fear, worthlessness, powerlessness. This is where i've been living. These emotions are what motivate toxic competitvness, anger, tilt, etc. That's the relationship. But I think the relationship is backwards of what I just wrote. The toxic thoughts are producing the emotions as a guide to change thinknig. How do i know my thinking needs to change because My emotions are telling me this doesn't feel good. So, here's the deal. I need to change thinking. But i also care about my website. So perhaps setting the goal on the dream board of what i want next in the website, which is challenger in league, and then picking good feeling thoughts. I need to approach the scale from a feel better perspective. That's the purpose of using the scale. By changing the character of my thoughts, and the way i feel from music/media i can move up the scale. And that will make me feel better. Righteous anger FEELS BETTER than powerlessness. It's not about being the best, or getting the best feeilng. It's about moving up the scale, to feel better.

@Hello from Russia I'm on NA west, and i'm a gold 4 adc. @kira Have you found god yet? I recommend awakening first before pursuing a business/life purpose. I also highly recommend doing Leo's life purpose course. My idea just came to me from a long meditation session, but i honestly don't think it would be this easy for me if i wasn't already awakened. Where would you peg yourself on spiral dynamics?

Pick a good feeling thought: What can i do next? My goal is to be challenger in league of legends My goal is to be happy and feel good Time to push the limits. I'm taking LSD today. Today's the day i break through.

@Keyhole It's subtle, i'd say i noticed pretty quickly, maybe within a few days. So much is dependent on other facotrs, like diet, exercise etc. I think diet, exercise, are most important and then nootropics act as a subtle enhancement. Like right now my diet sucks, so i'm taking the nootropics but i don't notice that dramatic of an effect.

@Charlotte I find GABA better than the L-theanine. Lions mane is solid too.

@SOUL I can do that already. What's next?

@SOUL How do you go from recognizing that I, am and god are illusory concepts, to direct experience of the fact that these concepts no longer have an effect on awareness.

To reach a state of being where the words I, am , and god don't mean anything in awareness. Wow. I never really thought that was the goal but it's true. I want detachment. I want genuine freedom. Complete freedom. Let go of the self referntial thinking and behavior. You'll be fine without it. You can survive without the thoughts about yoursef. YOu are that which is prior to.

@ZenBlue Hmm, maybe we have a different definition. I also get profound insights and see the world differently, but i don't consider my third eye opened. Maybe i want my crown shakra opened, and i've been mislaebling the chakras? How do you know if your third eye is open?

@ZenBlue How did you open your third eye? I'm in the process of opening mine now. I've only opened it fully once on LSD, otherwise it's just cracking and slightly popping but no full opening.

@dimitri He's the man haha. I watched his video 3 years about how meditation is the best thing to do to improve your life. Had no idea bout the path, enlightenment, etc. Completely changed my life lmao.

@dimitri Yeah i think 1 tab will be enough for me to. I will look into 5 Meo if the LSD doesn't work for me. I don't mind the length of the LSD high as long as I can hit the peak. I actually feel like kinda high on LSD right now, my baseline is just naturally high and psychidelic now. But i need a bit more expansion to surrender fully to the bliss.

I think it's time for the spiritual ego phase to end. It's getting annoying acting like a dick, and i think it's time to move forward. I want all the upsides of a spiritiual ego, like confidence, fearlessness, not taking shit from anyone, but i also want none of the downsides. I want: Confidence Humility Grace Love Kindness Peace Quiet Understanding Selflessness Improvement Betterment Growth

@Nahm @dimitri @mandyjw Thank you. Yeah, i've been kind of resistance to doing a full blown trip since my awakening, i was hoping I could do it without the drugs but I think right now they are valuable. I'm planning on cleaning up my apartment, my diet, and some habits over the next few days then i'm going to do like 1.5 to 2 tabs trip.

My long term plan is to be a writer, and express my ideas about self actualization, enlightenment etc. I also want to do life coaching/enlightenment coaching because that was one of the best things i've done on the path so far. In the near term my plan is to get challenger in league of legends, then i'm going to write guides on how to get challenger using spiritual concepts. Meditation, psychidelics, why toxicity is bad, how to be happier playing etc. Once i'm challenger i'm going to start writing and releasing content regularly on my website. Most of my content will be about gaming culture, league of legends itself, why it's important to be happy playing, why toxic competitveness is stupid, stuff like that. I've played games my entire life. I played halo 3 and gears on xbox. I played many years of wow. I played overwatch competitively. So i have quite a diverse background with gaming.

@Nahm okay thanks

I have a question @Nahm. Why can't you enlighten me with a conversation? Like you are clearly ahead of me on the path to enlightenment. But i feel i'm pretty far on the path too. But i still can't feel consistently, which tells me i'm not far on the path haha because i feel this is so basic. But i'm also completely open minded. Like all i want is to feel good, yet it evades me. How come you can't help me solve this simple problem, if you are an infinite intelligence. Surely an infinite intelligence could figure out a way to help a dedicated seeker feel good? Is this another paradox? Do i have to just keep seeing through these because i feel like my thinking is just getting more paradoxical, i.e it doesn't make sense.

@Arcangelo You can be Turqoise at any moment. You just have a lot of limiting beliefs, i.e low self confidence. You can do it. You are way above orange. The fact that you can be on this site without being triggered means you're high conscoiusness. Stop viewing turqoise as some far off thing that you might never achieve. View it as a real, tangible thing that is within your grasp. Because truth is, you can already get to Turqoise. You just have to dare to try for it.

@VeganAwake I'd say focus more on spiritual practices, and spend less time quoting yourself and telling people nothing matters. Totally up to you. Heart. Heart.

@VeganAwake i'm past that. I want more.

The shame that binds you. I have heard this repeated in my head for a few months. I believe it's a message. I really should read this book. I'm pretty sure shame is a key component of my identity as a person.

The shame that binds you. I have heard this repeated in my head for a few months. I believe it's a message. I really should read this book. I'm pretty sure shame is a key component of my identity as a person. How do i detach from what other people think about me. To be truly independent of experience is what I really want. I do not feel free at the moment. The discord from the nuance of thought provides relief. i AM FAT, I AM NOT FAT. There's relief in the duality of thought. How do i perform my best at league.- Answer: Pre game ritual. Meditation. Some exercise. Some visualization.

@VeganAwake I don't mind being judged. My definition of awakening is you feel so good about your self and your life, that you never ask the question again. Your life is better than you could have ever imagined, and it's basically heaven on earth. Also, you perform at your best at whatever you do. You can be sure that you are the absolute best you, you can possibly be. No doubts. Also, a complete understanding of reality. There are no questions as to the big picture, existential question. Complete peace. Honestly, the list is too long to describe. It's more of a you know it when you see it.

@VeganAwake Haha very nice. I would have asked you to the same thing. Non-duality wars are not allowed, and I already got a few warnings We will see who's the most woke though, because when you're fully awake there' s no reason to lie.