Raptorsin7

I think this based on the woman's relationship with their children. I gave the example of my aunt above i think this is a real issue that isn't simply negative society. I can't speak for all men so i'm curious about other people's thoughts on this. But i'm assuming for the majority of men a woman's wealth isn't what they find attractive, and I bet some version of the opposite of that is true for woman. Speaking for myself I don't value a woman's income/success at all and I don't think i'm atpyical for men my age

Yeah that makes sense why you would be concerned. That is a very tough situation to be in with respect to finances. I think that's why it's important to very trusting of your partner if you're going to put yourself in a compromised situation like that. If you a person expects to have a self sustaining career it's very difficult to also commit fully to having a family. I have family members where both spouses are very successful, but the wife luckily has a 9-5 city job, and they rely on a nanny and I know my aunt feels guilty about not spending more time with her kids. And they don't need her income at all, she earns about 1/4 my uncle's salary

I'm not saying that men are viewing woman's success as unattractive. I'm saying that woman are becoming very financially successful and as a result they expect men of their same financial status, but the men aren't valuing their success the way woman judge a man's success and so you have a mismatch and a problem.

@mandyjw You don't think a woman who earn's 200k a year will have likely have a negative view towards men who earn less than her, let's say 100k or less? I think the issue is men and woman find different characteristics desirable, and although a success greatly enhances a man's desirability, when a achieves similar levels of success it doesn't affect their desirability in the eyes of men to the same degree. What are the insecurities? I think it's more a description of a modern dating problem. I'm assuming many woman want men who they judge as equal to their value, but as a result of modern dynamics both gender's assessment of their own value is skewed

What's wrong with being a stay at home mom? Wouldn't it allow more free time to pursue interests, hobbies, etc? If money wasn't a concern would you still want to work? My mom always complained about having to work full time while raising kids, I think it would be great if my LTR partner was content raising kids as basically their career/job

Stannis Baratheon. One of my favorite characters in the entire series. Iron will and a true commander. Held storms end with 500 men

I'm going to post some people/characters/etc that I admire

Yeah, if I met woman and she was fully content with being the primary earner and her husband stays at home i would find it odd. I have a few woman in my family like this, high earning successful woman with husband's who earn less, and the husbands are chidlish/boyish and they tend to be very assertive and domineering personalities

@mandyjw So 99,99999% of the population

This is the problem. These successful woman have high standards for themselves and their partners, but the reality is like 99% of men are defective in some major way and don't fit into the high status partner class that successful woman are expecting. You have an entire group of woman who have effectively maneuvered themselves so they have no viable dating options. If a woman is earning 200k plus she has certain expectations of her partner, especially given the men she's likely to interact with professionally. But a 200k man has different expectations than a 200k woman. How do you feel about a stay at home father and you being the primary earner? I've thought about this before as a man, but it is a bit disconcerting.

@Hardkill He's going to appeal and it's going to end up going through multiple levels of court. I wonder if this was pre-planned, first you find him guilty of all charges and you give the mob their justice then in a few years it gets downgraded to manslaughter and people will have forgotten so the people in charge can avoid the wrath of the mob

Probably because of all the broke spiritual seekers who have to justify being bad at finances Also because if you learn how to be happy doing nothing then life becomes much less expensive and you require much less money than a typical person seeking happiness in objects in the world

Do you think we would survive an alien invasion?

@VeganAwake Well said thank you. ?

I have a question about my stage of meditation practice. I've been listening to a lot of neo-advaita teachers like Rupert Spira, Fred Davis etc and I believe I understand the essence of the teaching. Awareness is always aware, no matter what's happening there is always this presence of awareness. I have moments where I feel I really understand the teachings, and I'm just resting as awareness, and I can feel physical shifts occurring in my body. The nature of our presence is supposed to be peace and happiness, but I don't experience that when I listen to advaita teachings. Rupert talks about how at first the self is experienced as dull/boring and then overtime it flourishes into peace and happiness, but it's still a frustrating place to be at. I notice i procrastinate a lot and I have a lot of resistance to just sitting down and being/meditating. Has anyone gone through this phase? How do you bridge to the gap so the presence we all experience can be experienced/realized as peace/happiness/love

@Zeroguy What point of your practice did your heart open up?

@allislove Yeah I listen to guided meditations a lot. It's really useful when someone is constantly pointing you back to awareness when you get distracted.

Thanks veganawake. I know i'm this, but i want to know when this is going to start being felt as bliss and peace. @allislove Yeah makes sense. I have had many sessions recently where I feel myself on the verge of a deep surrender to the now but then i just get up and pat myself on the back haha. I'm trying to be more diligent and get myself on the cushion more i think it's only a matter of time now.

@mandyjw But from a meditating perspective isn't wouldn't I just be seeking objects and sensations and overlooking. Wouldn't it be better to simply rest as awareness and go right to the source rather than try and seek pleasant sensations through thoughts. It seems like that would just perpetuate the seeking self while I try to look for appreciation all the while overlooking awareness. One thing i've found helpful is the pointer about how there's nothing wrong with experience. I don't know if it's what you had in mind, but I think one my problems is I have always have this sense of something wrong with me/the world, and on my good psych trips a common theme is always the realization that there is no-thing wrong with experience. I think this points back to inherent no-problemness of awareness

From my understanding, there are no states or stages of consciousness because consciousness is just what is already. The inherent aliveness and awareness/presence is always available and so it's prior to any state or stage. But I think it's a bit misleading to say there are no states or stages as well. In this video rupert discusses what he calls the 2nd stage of practice where the seeker investigates the nature of the awareness. Most people want the peace and happiness that comes from investigating the nature of the self, and since most people aren't happy while seeking it makes sense to me to consider the path in stages until they reach a point of their practice where they are satisfied and happy. I agree we are experiencing the true nature of happiness which is the awareness, but to go from there to actual happiness/peace can be viewed as a stage above I think. I have a lot of conditions but I don't expect to fulfill them to find happiness. I think at this point it's about spending more time on the cushion and really sinking into the awareness without getting distracted by objects, and seeing how my own activity of the mind is constantly getting in the way so to speak. I definitely know what i'm looking for from my lsd trips, i'd say i'm looking for the same kind of shift in my meditation practice. The criteria would be if you ask me am I happy, and I honestly respond yes I feel very happy with my experience. Right now I can't say that

@allislove This doesn't feel like bliss and peace though. I am aware, or awareness is aware, but it doesn't lead to any meaningful change in my experience. If this is it, and it's always just this, what does it take for the bliss to come from that pointer? @The Buddha Rupert calls the nature of the self peace/happiness. I think if a person were in pure bliss they would count themselves as pretty happy and satisfied.

@Preety_India Yeah I resonate with a lot of what you wrote. I think i'm guilty of a lot of the charges against Indian men in general as well. I know for a fact I have deep seated hatred towards my mother and a lot towards my grandma too, who I grew up with, as sad/strange as it is I'd say if there's one person I truly have hatred for on this earth it's my mother. I wonder if I can resolve my hate towards my mother and grandma how that will change my dating preferences

Hey I'm curious to hear opinions about my situation and create a discussion around beauty standards and how it affects people of color or people who don't fit into the conventional standards of beauty. I'm an Indian male and for as long as I can I remember I've always found woman of other races more desirable than woman of my own race. Over time I'd found more and more Indian woman I found attractive, but when I fantasize about a potential partner I feel a repulsion to Indian woman. When I see a very attractive Chinese/European/Spanish etc I find it easy to imagine an awesome loving relationship. When I was younger I was very insecure about my looks and thought I was ugly, but I overcame that too some extent and now I think I'm pretty attractive and could be with whoever I want, and i think the rise in my own self esteem led to me find more indian woman attractive, but still there is some block. I think the root of this is an underlying self hatred from growing up an ethnic minority in a western country, but I wonder if there's more going on too that i'm unaware of. My parents also have unloving relationship (arranged marriage) and woman in my family as very conservative and I have an underlying resentment for most, if not all, my female relatives. Sometimes I wonder if I should just accept my preference and count myself lucky I live in an open society that allows me to date whoever I want. I could see myself being in a happy relationship with a woman of a different ethnicity, but part of me does worry about being labeled as a self hating person who dates out of their race due to feeling inferior. My hope is to deal with the underlying self hatred and then see what remains of my dating preference. But how much can preference change? For example I find loud, large, masculine woman very unattractive, the same way a woman in Korea might find dark skin indian men very unattractive, who's to say that isn't right and each person is entitled to their own preference? I feel very fortunate that I live in the West and not Asia so my ethnicity and skin color aren't major detriments. I've heard stories of Indian men in Japan/Korea who are viewed very negatively given the preference for light skin. It's a bitter irony but I do feel a resentment towards those cultures for having a negative view of my people, but then i also recognize my own dating prejudices and laugh haha. Any other thoughts?

@karkaore No i mean think about dating interracially and the beauty/cultural standards associated with it. Some people may have never thought about this, whereas others may be more sensitive to this fact and it may influence how they date

@karkaore Have you found your abilities increase too as your consciousness. Have you found yourself more coordinated, intelligent, creative, athletic?