Raptorsin7

No, it's actually not bad advice. You have countless examples of men here saying how they don't value a woman's success in the same way that woman value a man's success. A woman who spends who wants a family and a good partner, who spends her entire 20's working on a good career is doing herself a disservice in many ways. Of course for some woman they may be fully content being successful and don't value traditional relationships, kids etc. If you were to tell a woman hey it's all good focus on your career and when you're ready you'll have no problem finding a high value man like yourself, I think that's malpractice

Yeah i don't relish the idea of being in a relationship with a career driven person tbh. What does a typical career require of a person, 50-60 hours a week? There is only so much time and attention in this life time.

In my view my children will likely be one of the most valuable parts of my entire life, I would hope a potential could see the importance of having someone dedicated to raising children. A woman in a traditional role has the potential to pursue interests as well, homemaking is not a 24/7 job. Especially as kids grow up

Maybe for some men, but personally I have no interest in a powerful woman for marriage

@Emerald @Forestluv It's not just about men being threatened by successful woman. There are a lot of costs associated with becoming a financially independent person in a first world country, for the vast majority of people it will take great sacrifice to become successful. I would find it very desirable for a woman who is willing to value family over her own career prospects so I can pursue financial success. You may view that as me being intimated by a successful woman, but from my pov that's not what's happening. There's a reason there aren't two presidents, or two commanders of an army. In almost all cases power will shift asymmetrically in one direction.

@Arcangelo Thanks for your input arc

I don't think i'm atypical for a young western man. I could be wrong maybe i'm unique and men don't value woman the way I do. Hopefully you're right it will make it easier for me to find a partner in the future haha

I'm not shaming them, i'm expressing my preference and value in what I want in a partner. I value looks and character more than success and ambition. I'm not shaming successful and ambitious woman. I don't have to find those traits desirable

I'm not a saying woman should do anything. I'm stating my preferences in a partner. I'm free to desire whatever I want in a partner. I will not be shamed, bullied, and guilted into changing my opinions and preferences. There are many woman who have pursued their own goals and purposes to great effect. I think I could make a great partner some day and I want what I want, if anyone has counter ideals and goals then so be it.

I don't agree taking it this far. I think the issue occurs when woman want to be career driven and self sufficient, but also highly value a relationship and the potential for having children. A woman in her 20's can spend 10 years climbing the corporate ladder and becoming a successful self sufficient person, but when it comes to finding a relationship it won't enhance her value in the ways many woman believe it will. Personally I would find it attractive if my partner went to a good school and studying something interesting

Where do you believe the attraction towards work ethic and ambition comes from? Also imo I think strong work ethic and ambition are of akin with status and high income. The kind of people who will be high income etc are the one's who have a strong work ethic and big goals, and vice versa. What does this mean? I think many of these woman are after the traits you're what describing above but as a result of their higher success they also have higher standards for what they expect. Success and status are proxies for character traits like intelligence, ambition, work ethic etc

@Zeroguy What do you mean

I feel the same way. Have you noticed this trend with your female colleagues? I'd imagine a professor/academic would be at the forefront of this phenomena

@Preety_India Haha okay I'll try thanks for the tips

@Preety_India I know I have issues and yes I will work on myself. I should rephrase. It's not that I don't value a womans accomplishments in the way you're saying. if my partner achieved something they valued I would be happy for them, and I'd be happy that they were happy. But when it comes to choosing a partner I don't care about success/Income come the same way I care about looks/femininity/character etc

@Preety_India I'm sorry that this thread hurt you. If it makes you feel better I'm 25 I live with my parents and I basically have the life style of a 15 year old, except I work 4 days a week at a dead end job. I'm not exactly a catch Haha

@VeganAwake I've been listening to Fred Davis recently I think he's great, who do you think are the most direct teachers?

That is not true. Men not valuing woman's success for a partner is not because they are intimated. I have faith in my own ability to be successful, a woman's bank account and status means nothing to me. It's a matter of what people value, not insecurity. I'm also not saying that a woman who earns a lot more than her partner can't have an awesome relationship.

@Roy I don't understand what you're saying. Are you equating those two statements? I agree things need to change, but in the meantime the phenomena will exist who knows how long it will take to change

That's not the problem lol, everyone is making this mistake. It's about men not valuing woman's success when choosing a potential partner. An average looking woman with average character/grace who earns 300k a year will likely expect a man in that income/class bracket. But high value men don't value the woman's income the way she values his.

@SamC Great summary thanks. @mandyjw My objective was just to point out this phenomena. Whatever insecurities I have related to this topic aren't a huge concern for me tbh. I don't find success a particularly attractive trait, vs looks, character, intelligence etc. I have no desire to change those beliefs

@mandyjw I never said anything about being concerned i just thought it was an interesting dynamic. I'm not a saint I have tons of bias, prejudices etc. But you are projecting and presuming a lot

That's your own projection and misunderstanding. That's not the premise of the thread. It's about men and woman valuing success unequally and how it affects dating prospects

Amen

I wouldn't hold it against a woman if she were successful, but I would be hesitant if they insisted on their career taking precedent over family, my career etc. I just don't think men and woman value success equally when it comes to valuing a partner. Some woman believe that incredible success is incredibly valuable, it may be to valuable to them, but not necessarily to men