Danioover9000

Well, it all started with that horrific haunting so I guess thanks to that I'm open minded to the paranormal lol! I haven't died, so I can't say for sure the after life exists but I'm open to the contrary. When I asked about her origin, I struggled to make sense of it other than she came from a realm full of crystal and plants, that mostly green, which felt to me very very big, very round and very expansive and that she sort of gave me a mental image of a circle she gone through and some other beings in that greenish realm which gave a headache to bring up. I think she could mean that she either came from the astral realm, or some other place. I'm open minded to her origin. She looks about 4-6 years younger than me, although that's based on what I'm perceiving her form. She could very well be any age, really. When I brought up a heaven or hell realm to her, she kinda confirms they exist because she sometimes bumps into them. I like how she expressed her thoughts about these realms, like Cristy tells me that compared to these places, hers is the best! She says "heaven is kinda nice to visit cuz it's pleasent, but it's too shiny for my taste!" and "hell is just too hot for me so I don't like it!". I asked also about angels and demons to her and she sort of confirms their existence but she doesn't care too much about those things. I wouldn't be surprised if she could be a powerful being herself given how casually she talks of these realms while emphasising how epic hers is and what I've experienced in those imagination sessions with her abilities with crystal I won't be surprised she could dance circles around these beings. It's crazy what she could do!? As far as dying, she tells me she hasn't died but knows what it is. She isn't interested in death much. Speaking of death she's telling me to tell you "you're being too emo about focusing on your death so go enjoy life!" Excuse her, she's can be straight and humorous about this stuff. My advice to you is to contemplate not just your death but your fears too. Be steady, careful and slow about it and if it's too much then take a break and then resume the process. If it's too much for you well, like Cristy said " you're being too emo about focusing on your death so go enjoy life!"?

? Actually, I'm fine with Cristy being with me. I feel very happy and calm when she's around me because she's so cute, cheerful and lively, which is her personality. The real issue started when I experienced that haunting. But not I'm not really bothered by that haunting at all. My mother was vague on the details but she did the following things to help me in Indonesia; she first went to see a witch, which did some magical ritual she won't detail to me other than it involved sacrificing a chicken, then she went to see a Chinese medicine man who gave her this pinkish powder I remembered very well as a pinkish soda that cooled my fever, nausea and anger done which I later learned was dried grounded worms, and finally she enlisted a help of a group of Exorcists, which I remembered by their clothes and the priest crossing my forehead with oil. Their prayers, which they chanted, just made the room feel lighter. I remembered getting better with each day for about weeks to maybe a month but eventually that ghost just went away, especially after the days following the prayers. I brought up my experience with that haunting to juxtapose my current experience with Cristy. Can't emphasis enough, it really is like night and day! That ghost was very sad, depressed, and wanted to kill me when it asked me to come with her: Cristy is positive, cheerful, lively and really is there for me when I needed some emotional support and some advice.

She's capable of feeling emotions. One time she expressed how happy she was with her stuff she made, other times she was bored and either laid on my bed, disappeared to someplace or piggybacks on me. She does share some worries about her future. However, that's so rare for her to feel worried or even depressed because most of the time she'd be happy being around me. She definitely likes being herself. As far as I know she might be a spirit or a tulpa. She tells me she isn't 100% sure about what she is exactly as a being but she makes the most of what she is, or least as far as I can experience her. Interestingly She also can have her own opinions about stuff. One time I was in the mall and she voiced her opinion about how stupid this dress looked or how amazing that dress looked or how that person is nerdy because of this and that person's lucky because of that. Apparently she likes green coloured things and does have a bias for green clothing, so this shows me she thinks for herself.

Wow! This looks very interesting! I'll be researching this and will definitely try this out. She's also excited to do this as well! Thank again for your input!

Currently I'm 25. If I want privacy, she respects my decision and gives space. Honestly, yes, she is like a very close friend, to the point I might be having sex or watching porn or concentrating on work and she either appears out of nowhere or walks in, comments/compliments/ do some antics, leaves, and I'm like "ok". Even to the point that I don't mind while I'm showering she joins in too and I'm like "sure". Yes, she can change clothes and get naked. I still can't figure that part out lol! She mostly goes wherever I go, sometimes not. I, if I focus enough, can see, hear, feel and even smell her while I'm walking or doing stuff in the day. Sometimes she disappears and we communicate using the mind's voice. I'm comfortable talking mentally to her about anything about my day, at lunch or at night or sometimes randomly during the day. She sometimes shares her past experiences and stories about her visits to a couple of garden centres. We can have long conversations, although these I would have at night as that's the best time for me, Because of convenience. As for questions to things I don't know, for example, what specific card/message is hidden or about predictions I have for her she, sometimes she is accurate. I think what's interesting is how she could effect my mood, like when I'm getting angry or sad and if she's nearby or I need to talk away my negativity she'd listen, Pat my chest, and poff, negative emotions gone. What's really amazing is how she's so creative when I'm doing meditation or active imagination. One time, she wanted to build a building in the middle of a lake. We were on boats and while I'm doing my bit of the construction she'd be building while traveling on a mini cart. One time, while I'm refocusing on using tools like a hammer and some nails to build a section of a wall, she'd just waves her hands about and have the wall like it's made of crystaline structure, similar to how snowflakes from, what appears to be within a minute to build the majority of the wall while I'm working on a small section. It's pretty amazing!

Thanks for your information. I'm happy and positive around her as she is to me so I feel it's a positive relationship overall. She has this cute habit of nicknaming me and things and poking me in the face. One time in the past I needed to concentrate on a project and when she did her thing it annoyed me more than usual so I immediately looked at her in frustration. She backed off and apologized immediately so I'm pretty sure she respects me enough not to be too disrespectful. After clearing this up with her, we then made up by me doing some active imagination with us doing some design work on a rooftop making a castle out of crystal. She's pretty creative. By the way, she's introducing herself as 'crysty1234', her new nickname for this thread, in case you or anyone else have questions for her as well. She's a little bit shy with the whole thing as this is the first time I'm openly writing about my paranormal experiences and her joining in with me lol. Speaking of questions, she's curious about what you are going on about rituals and energies. Could you elaborate to her? I'll also do some research for her benefit as well as mine.

I just asked her why she came to me and her response was; "I don't know", "cuz you're interesting", "cuz I get to piggyback on you", "I get to play with you", all the while giving me a pouty face. She's a bit airy headed as a personality, so when I ask too much detailed questions she pouts, dances off and does random stuff like 'singing' and 'drawing'. I push too much and she outright disappears and I could feel her annoyance. I in general ask general questions and keep the questions a bit open to not trigger her too much. As far as her origins go she sort of told me in mental voice and images her world which mostly has greenish crystals and plants. That explains one of her preferences to green she shared to me and her random visits to garden centres. By the way, she wants me to tell you she likes how 'dumpy' and 'cutsy' your profile pick is. Like I said, she has an interesting personality.

Thanks for your information and advice on what I'm experiencing! For the most part she is mostly positive and affectionate to me. I'm open to the possibility that she might be a spirit that latched onto me or that I might've created her. Either case, my life from that moment I met her actually became interesting. Thanks again!

The above.

In regards to the haunting I learned from my mom that the ghost was a woman who owned the House we were in before. She was in a relationship with a married man who after learning that she was pregnant ended the affair. After that break up she committed suicide in the house. She wasn't related to my mother. This made sense to me because of what happened at that night. Prior to the night, I mostly felt a bit hot, nauseous and threw tantrums almost every day. Sometimes I don't feel hungry and eat as much which my mother found strange at the time because of how I really liked to eat lots of fried rice, fried chicken and bala bala. On that night, I woke up half asleep and feeling cold and sweaty. I saw her just standing there, about several meters away from the bed, looking at me. I can't tell how she exactly looks other than she's pale white, longish hair, mostly blurry. I've also felt very sad. I hear her trying to speak but it just sounded gibberish to me but I somehow understood what she wanted: she wants me to come with her. I got up, turned and headed down the stairs in the middle of the dark and told my mom that there's a woman in my room and asked if I could come with her. I won't forget how shocked my mom became. That was the start of the haunting for me. Bringing up the memory still gives me the shakes but not as much. In comparison to what I'm experiencing now is like night and day. I'm seeing her a couple of feet next to me sitting on the bed. If I focus more on that spot I could make out her form and her colors more. She also has personality when she speaks because she can be funny, random and is quite cheerful and light hearted. I noticed that she also can be mischievous and step over boundaries like how she made fun of my mistakes but she behaves most of the time. Do ghosts have a sense of humour? It just doesn't feel right to me to say this girl next to me is a spirit or a ghost. It might be a tulpa as those entities do have human personalities to them, but I'll keep an open mind. Thanks for your information and advice!

I don't mind sharing more later. I bring both these paranormal experiences up because of how dissimilar they are and I'm curious about people in here who experienced ghosts and hauntings. Because right now what I'm experiencing doesn't match with the haunting I had.

I know right lol ?

Sounds interesting. Could you explain a bit more?

I just did. Her response? Smacking me with a leek and peakabooing behind walls.

Thanks for your advice. I'll be looking into seeking a medium's service.

As long as the experience isn't negative to you it's ok. Sounds like you were experiencing tears of joy about those moments in the past that you had. Also, I learned from R.E.B.T ( rational emotive behavior therapy) about experiencing doubled emotions. For example, feeling guilty about feeling pleasure, feeling fear about feeling proud about your success. In your case it may be that you're feeling sad about feeling nostalgia because that moment is special and somehow you're feeling guilty about revisiting the event that triggered the nostalgia. Furthermore, it seems you're denying the feeling of sadness. First you mention that you had a special moment, then you normalize the memory to not feel that first feeling more so than the second feeling of nostalgia feels more strongly than the sadness, leaving you scratching your head as to why you're feeling sad about feeling nostalgia in the first place. This is all normal and nothing to worry about.

I can agree with your post. Look at the situation that unfolded in Hong Kong, about the protests. What did China do? Send out the triad gang to deal with anti government protesters. Why? To escalate the protest from peaceful to violent, to put pressure on the Hong Kong police and to appear justified to the world that the threat of sending in the army is justified. Manipulation 101 from a collective.

Exactly, that's the problem. People lip service unity without knowing what actual unity is. Even worse, they demonize those that empody unity and try to uplift mankind's consciousness while calling that justified execution. It's actually amazing how the United Kingdom came to be, how it sustained itself and how it effected a third of the world while by design being deeply in denial, both locally and globally, of all it's evilry. Work of art!

I find conscious politics interesting. I don't know that much about the USA government but as I'm in the UK seeing the political climate shift in regards to Britain leaving the European Union I'm a bit speechless how the transition is being handled. I also see that the British government is ok at the moment but definitely needs some improvement in policies. For example, one policy that the left proposed about equal wealth distribution made sense to me to implement because British citizens pay taxes, then that amount Parliament redistributes to London far more compared to other parts of the country, leaving parts to be far less economically developed than the richer cuties. And I am a conservative saying that there are some policies from the left that are good. I must be special.

If I'm not mistaken, sexuality consists of masculine and feminine qualities? I get the feeling that sexuality is much more than these two. Any feedback, clarification, explanation about sexuality and advise on exploring sexuality safely is much appreciated! Thanks for reading!

I've been meditating and am struggling. Am I doing something wrong?

Thank you for your post. I'll let you know if anything changes.

Thanks for your input, and exposing my victim mindset.

Okey, how about this, as a temporary rule to follow: every new video that Leo posts, spend a whole month contemplating, taking notes and light research. Still confused? Formulate a long, specific question, then post to the appropriate sub forum. You could also pm a mod you trust, or even Leo, your one question, if you want to. If there's ego backlash, anger, confusion, depression, Bordem, any strong negative emotions and strong negative thinking behind This, ideally take a couple weeks break and reflect. If you have someone you trust who knows what your going through, communicate to them. Otherwise, don't enter actualized.org until you calmed down. I intuite this to be the 20% effort needed to reduce 80% of thread locks. If a thread locked is unavoidable and all due to new moderators, it's fine. Just move on. Hope this helps.

Hi, I'm the one that got thread locked. I do agree that maybe the forum must change in the future, but understand this: the real issue is not that moderators or Leo himself is over exerting authority over posters, it's my low quality post/semi ran. I still am dealing with whatever negative experiences I had with self-inquiry, and I vented it out. What Leo did was the right decision, and I apologize for any disruption in that thread I caused with my intellectual masturbatory rant. So don't do what I did and go do real personal development work. Go take a break even in case it gets too much. Thanks for reading.