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Everything posted by flume

  1. I've found that, if you really look at functions, they’re structures in the human psyche. They don’t (have to) say anything about the content of the mind. So they’re neutral. I'd just go to the essence directly. We have enough silly personality typology content on youtube, which is just reinforcing peoples identities. I'd love to see a content switch from pigeonholing people ("If you have these 10 traits, you're probably an INFJ", which leads to people throwing their hands up in the air, declaring their type, never needing to change) to helping people look at the function of their mind from a distance and understanding how they can best use it for their unique endeavours. Again, in a structural sense, not in terms of content. Going on step prior if you will. I'm not sure if I'm making sense. Also: Transcend and include. If you go deep enough into the matter that will happen automatically. An “original insight” is seeing connections no one has seen before imo. And from what I’m reading, that’s what you want to do. No one has seen what you can see. Collecting information and bundling it up in new, concise and easy to understand ways is a great service to people. Just look at Leos videos. That's basically what he did/does and they're helping so many people. You're standing on the shoulders of giants. Many great people came before you and they've only gotten so far. They've done their work for you to use it. What a shame would it be if every human being had to figure everything out from the beginning again? We'd never get ahead. Think of it as a group effort :-) Beautiful purpose btw! Feels close to home.
  2. Super cool! I love how alternative methods of therapy are becoming more normalised. Here in Austria, Art therapy will become officially recognised within the next years. Germany's one step ahead already. I have a friend of mine who'll start Art Therapy this year. I'm super excited to hear more about that and work with her. Another friend of mine did elementary music and dance education. Sweet stuff. I'm really getting into dancing lately and thought about maybe doing a degree in the future that combines dance and therapy such as "Authentic Movement". Man... There's just so much cool stuff out there. I had a few months of musical therapy in my education as well. It was mostly about trauma healing in abused children and teenagers. My teacher, who's been doing that for decades, was one of the most interesting people I've ever met. He has truly seen it all. And it made him passionate, devoted to help and so grounded. You're in for a deep ride, I think. Such a beautiful calling through. I wish you all the best from the bottom of my heart You rock! If you're ever in Austria, hit me up and let's make some music.
  3. Nice! I work on an organic dynamic farm and our mission is providing people with the most nutritious food possible. We also figure out how to be as self sustained as possible throughout the year. Let's just say, it's a lot more work cooking with healthy ingredients than it is to buy perfectly shaped vegetables, pre-cut meat and things of that sort. My advice would be that, whatever you do, go in that direction as much as possible: Organic, seasonal ingredients that are locally sourced, prepared with healthy cooking methods and are mostly plant based. There are enough people who will appreciate it. The trend is going there majorly anyways. It's just a matter of time. An organic pizza place just opened up near me. They only have 6 different pizzas. It's super simple. Everybody loves it. All the organic restaurants ans stores are doing great here too. They pop up one after the other. And working with medicinal herbs and psychoactive ingredients could be an awesome niche.
  4. Ok I'm intrigued. Has anyone done "How To Be An Entrepreneur" or "Turning Your Talent Into Income"? If so, hit me up! I'd like to know more. Also, 197$ doesn't seem too bad.
  5. "With this ring, I set you free." Man, that was beautiful. I love how quirky, deep and multi-layered they are. Everything is said by the way they look at each other. Super inspiring to see. So much intimacy and independence, authenticity and vision going on in their relationship. Can't fake that. Also, how cool are their guests? Love it. Everything about this video is so unusual, a little strange, but somehow epic.
  6. Here are all the problems I have with the video As a woman, if you’re going down the path of trying to “keep your man loyal”, you’ve already lost imo. A woman who knows her worth and has adequate self esteem wouldn’t spend her time worrying about being cheated on. Even less would she compensate by tweaking her appearance and behaviour in any way to prevent that from happening. And a good man wouldn’t want that from her either. You’re actually lowering your “value” (if you will; even though this term is horrible) by being so insecure. She would expect being worthy of love without having to constantly “prove herself” and jerking herself around. And if her man does something they have not agreed on, she’d move on. And with this attitude, only good men will make it to your door. “He cheats on you because you give him bad sex. Or no sex at all.” Damn. So backwards. Good sex is an outcome of openness and trust. Hearing this will close down woman so much more. It actually took me a lot of compassion and deep breathing to get through the video and I can see how it makes woman feel so terrible about themselves. Lumping together attraction and relationships like that is really mudding the waters. It’s true that he’s not choosing to get attracted, but he’s choosing what to do with it. A relationship is a commitment to support and grow with each other, which means you have to be in constant communication. If you can't talk to your partner about your desires, what's the point of the relationship? And if you can't control your dick enough to not hurt your girlfriend and do smth you haven't agreed upon, why be with her in the first place? It’s also not like cheating is only bad for the woman. It’s bad for men too. If a man doesn’t stand by his words it makes his weak and split. It stifles his integrity, grounding and flow. Why can’t we just look at the problem directly? Is something happens in a relationship that isn’t agreed upon, people get hurt. Why hurt people? This can only happen if there's one of those things going on imo: Incompatibility Trauma Low self esteem Lack of communication It’s not rocket science. Work these things out. There are plenty of tools available. But don't put the other sex in charge of fixing your problem. Leo has done a great job at making a video that is just feeding into the insecurities women already have without providing them a healthy way out of it. And it kinda makes me angry. Let’s hope my future daughter never sees this video. Stage orange elbow society to the max. Partial af. I’m disappointed this is still on youtube to be honest, I’d expect Leo to take such shit down already. Maybe you should have titled the video "Why weak men who can’t communicate what they need and don’t know what they want cheat." TLTR: Work on your self esteem, attraction =/= relationships, men are more than animals, partial video that is counterproductive for women watching it. Why not make a video that shows women how to develop adequate self esteem and men how to handle their urges responsibly instead?
  7. The Concept Of Life Going Full Circle Everyone starts out as a sheep... Until certain experiences force them to evolve. The wolves inside us all emerge when the sheep you have been can't protect you anymore. And then... Just when you thought the world had conspired against you... It was conspiring with you the entire time. https://the-inward-morning.com/journal/the-concept-of-life-going-full-circle-dance-choreography
  8. Am I the only one who doesn't know what that is? Well, as long as people are buying it... Can we really blame him?
  9. New video A day in the life: Erik visiting me, cooking, visioning together, working on my website, some insecurities, dancing and a chill evening with Merle. https://the-inward-morning.com/journal/new-video-meet-erik-
  10. Everything’s changing Some of the things going through my head and life atm: I might be changing jobs soon I just found out that my apartment situation might not be secure for a long time anymore My boyfriend and I will be moving in together I might be doing a retreat at the end of this month that could change many things I just had my first threesome Had a pretty intense LSD trip Published my website and have many ideas on expanding it already. Now cram all of this into one week. I have to say, I'm mostly excited but a bit overwhelmed at times. The rate at which things are changing is out of this world. I'm at a point where I can't really picture my life a few months from now. I just have no idea what will happen. It's impossible to hold all these events in my mind at the same time. The safest thing to do now is to just throw my hands up and let it all be. I'm here for it and it will work itself out, I'm sure. So damn much to write about though. Many blog posts in the making. https://the-inward-morning.com/journal/everythings-changing
  11. Through the fields of scars and wounds, shining with dim light of non-existence. What tranquillity! What sweet peace! What inward serenity! What supreme felicity! An earnest of bliss! To reach beyond the web of spiritual deceit that mankind has been weaving for millennia and face the most horrible truth of all. Every single dream… shattered, trampled and lost. Every single word… silenced forever and evermore. Descent! Regress into prime, hideous, beautiful… Descent! Regress into prime, hideous, beautiful nothingness. Here, in fact, we may be in the presence of one of the most necessary of all Devils: the Ecumenical Unifier, champion of all efforts to remove invidious distinctions between nature and nurture, body and spirit, interdiction and impulse, time and eternity, individual and community, male and female, Hell and Heaven-and ultimately, of course, between man and God. While we may believe our world - our reality to be that is - is but one manifestation of the essence Other planes lie beyond the reach of normal sense and common roads But they are no less real than what we see or touch or feel Denied by the blind church 'cause these are not the words of God the same God that burnt the knowing I am nothing, I am no thing, I am not incessantly Not of the sun; nor the moon, nor of the stars... immesurably Not without me, nor within me, nothing sees... inwardly I will not sleep,I will not wake, I will not rest... impatiently Out of the many comes the One To lay waste the all and return to the None Without light The dark encloses all Our works would be but ash No knowledge of the time that crushes love to dust Or the life that's frozen deep within our veins Without dark The light burns out our eyes And turns each of us to ash Our hearts, too hard to ever learn to feel And mouths, laid open, deep in silent song Trapped within That which all collapses For fear of what may lay beyond When peace eludes And devastation happens A subtle glimpse of where we each belong
  12. Great! Seems like you're very much in touch with what you want. Now all you need to do is communicate and see how compatible you two are Think about if it would really make you happy to stay where you are. Probably not, otherwise you wouldn't have written this post. It's quite sexy when a man has the confidence to stand by what he wants and isn't afraid to walk away if you're not on the same page. It's not easy to do, especially if you don't have a lot of experience with intimate relationships. But it will serve you greatly. Again, super hot. Stay true to who you are. Tell her about it. Then the decision is hers. Good luck! @NoSelfSelf You're behaving childish. A person should not be made fun of for a totally valid question that is a sign of healthy self-esteem. Check your bias. That this is coming from a moderator is not acceptable.
  13. Much appreciated!
  14. I just took them with my camera. But thanks a ton! @Natasha
  15. To anyone who has ever commented on my journal or has given me any kind of feedback: I love you so much! Thank you. Your support means the world to me May I freaking proudly present my website: https://the-inward-morning.com
  16. Had an interesting dream the other night. It was about a youtuber I really admire who runs several businesses and has changed the lives of many people. She decided she wanted to really "help people", so she took about 60 people with different "issues" with her to an island. The intention was to "cure" them all. In the process though, the people she intended to help just got worse and worse. So did she. Everything was going down. The darkness just swallowed everyone up. I kind of was her in the dream and realised that this is not the way to really help people. It's way more helpful to set up systems that help people help themselves. Or just be an inspiration, an example which will motivate them to live a better life. Such a weight fell off my shoulders when I woke up from that dream. "How can I really help people?" is a question that has been on the forefront of my mind for months at this point. I'm not very drawn to the classical role of giving advice though. I don't dream of being a teacher or a counsellor. I just wanna be me and do the things I love. That's way more authentic, comes easy to me and seems to lift people up around me already :-) That's also the intention of my website: Being authentic and thereby inspiring others to do the same. Coming soon!!! So excited!
  17. A wave of pessimism and meaninglessness hit me out of nowhere yesterday. It suddenly seemed like a good idea to just piss my life away, leave it all behind and become a heroin addict. These states don't happen very often, but when they do it's pretty intense and paralysing. Why keep trying to change things? Just to die all the same in the end? I couldn't be more indifferent and cold, which is quite a shocker if you know me at all. Especially now. Especially with all these things going on in my life. Things just keep working out somehow. I'm in the process of finishing my website, the relationship with my boyfriend is such a source of growth and love in my life and I got a job offer which is new, scary, exciting and probably just the right amount of challenge for me. And that's just the peaks amongst many other different and exciting projects. I'm just happy creating and figuring this life out. Usually. So what happened? Some possibilities come to mind: Ego backlash: The unraveling of attachments and identifications is definitely an ongoing process. I usually don't do more than a simple 20 minute meditation a day as far as "spiritual practices" go, but things still shift considerably. Meditation has affected my life so much, that I don't even know anymore what my experience of reality was like before I started. I might be having some kind of "mental illness" like psychoses or... Ok, let's not even keep going with this point. This just feels wrong. What I can say though is that often, I feel like the highest and the lowest emotion are not polar opposites that have a span of emotions between them, but like they're next door neighbours and I'm walking a thin line between them, tipping at any moment. There might be some childhood trauma coming up related to this new job. I spend a large amount of time thinking about what could potentially go wrong, how I could fail and disappoint people. That's pretty unlike me in other areas of my life, but in my job, this comes up a lot. This job would be asking a whole lot from me and I sometimes doubt whether I'm really ready to handle a responsibility like that. My mom was never shy of pointing out the things I did wrong in my life and I spent so much time "proving" myself. It's an uphill battle that I could never win, because inevitably, something's not perfect and there you are, failing again. I sometimes think I'm doomed to fail. It's just expected of me. And it makes me wanna throw my hands up and go "See. There you have it. You knew it all along. The disappointment I've been all this time. Here it is." @Nahms new video (check it out here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0l5ChxLFwUw&t=3583s) came just at the right time. It's so cool that he keeps making these, I feel inspired. Seeing his face got me out of the apathy a bit and had me watching for some good pointers: Keeping it light. It's just stuff coming up. Expression is key. I suddenly remembered other good pointers: Letting Go, Everything is here to help you, relaxation is everything,... Doing a bit of that, the apathy was gone so quickly that it's almost impossible for me to reconcile what really happened. It's probably also not necessary. Just move on, right? Nah. I always need a bit of introspective writing for an experience like this to feel rounded off. I just love writing too much. And I still want to learn what this experience is here to teach me. Will maybe post the writing process later. I also already decided that I want to join a workshop sometime soon that really goes into early childhood experiences and solving them. Yes, weekly therapy is good, but it's never enough time to really get to the root. And psychedelics are so unpredictable when it comes to things like that. I also really don't feel like taking large doses and putting such a burden on a trip. I think I'm at a point where I just want to enjoy my trips and see what comes up without these serious and heavy intentions.
  18. High on life 2 weeks of vacation ahead of me. The weather is great and I'm quite inspired to get some cool things done: Redecorate my apartment, take an online dance course and some workshops, make a video, research some cool new suff, meet ups, sort through some files, visit family and most importantly of all: spend time with my wonderful man who's visiting me for a few weeks. We're really enjoying our time together: Visioning, reading, cooking, having sex, ... We also still have some trips () planned. I'm really blown away by this man. His willingness to be straight forward with me and not have any resentment build up between us is inspiring. I've never met anyone who's so willing to look inside, to listen and just build the best life for us. I feel so safe. I definitely wouldn't have had the confidence and self worth for a relationship like this even a year ago. But now, this feels like the healthiest connection I ever encountered. We're taking care of ourselves and one another so well. Openness, trust and intimacy is through the roof; and our sex is a perfect reflection of that. I'm the luckiest girl alive! Also currently working on my website I'm in the process of transferring some of my posts from here to there. Ah, I'm excited. I'm glad that websites like squarespace exist. Makes it so easy for a noob like me to create a good looking website. I still need a logo and will have to spend some time thinking about branding. Will use the coming days to write a little bit about me and take some pictures. Cool beans!
  19. This world will heal through music.
  20. I talked to my therapist about my eating behaviour the other day. I noticed how difficult it is for me to keep a healthy rhythm when eating lately. The past months, I have the tendency to skip meals, don't remember drinking, not eating enough protein, eating way too many carbs and sugar... This results in my digestion being off, irregular sleeping patterns, mood swings and I suddenly start weighing myself again, smoking cigarettes and just guilting myself a lot. All ED-warning bells are going off. I wondered what I did to fall from grace. What am I not seeing? My therapist, who knows me so well by now, just told me how obvious it is that I'm craving sugar when I'm working so much. Sooner or later, you gotta compensate somewhere. I first thought it was ridiculous to tie my eating behaviour back to work. But then I reflected for a moment: I'm definitely at work for 50+ hours some weeks. That's a lot. And I still feel like I'm not doing nearly enough. So I need to pull the breaks on this. I feel guilty though. Some part of me doesn't want to admit that work costs me energy. I'm somehow deeply convinced that, if you love your work, it doesn't feel like work and, by virtue, doesn't cost you energy. I know what that kind of flow feels like, so it definitely exists. Taking a step back, it seems like I'm admitting that I don't love my work. I project saint-like qualities on people like my boss, who work around the clock and can be there for people with a striking stability. Matt Kahn has a good way of putting it though: "Don't think about the person you want to be. Think about the person you actually are. There are a lot of us who want to be certain expressions of spiritual perfection. We're already perfect as we are, but there's a certain way we want to be. We read about it and we go 'Oh, I wanna be like that'. And we try to be like that. But is it actually where we're at? Because you have to be honest about where you're at to work through the barriers to be limitless." I'm super grateful that my therapist drew this connection for me. I'm grateful that I can still go there, all for free. God bless our amazing health care system. It was so satisfying to finally see how these things are connected. Upon coming home I actually felt thirsty for the first time in a while; I was tired on time that evening; I craved healthy meals. My nervous system instantly calmed down it seemed. Just because I finally "got it". "You have no boundaries", said my therapist. "Whether it's food or work." I wanted to throw something in his face. He has a point though. It's difficult for me to say no to people. It's difficult to take my own needs into consideration. It's difficult to be assertive. These things have gotten a lot(!) better over the years, but there are still times when I loose myself in other peoples needs or in projects without reflecting upon my own state of being first. My life's journey is really learning how to take good care of myself. I noticed many times that all other things follow this lead. Now I just need to really apply this insight and not fall right back into "too-many-projects-mode". Aww, it's so tempting though.
  21. @Manusia I use a Panasonic GX80 with a 14-140 travel lens. Very happy with the camera. The only downside is that it doesn't have a mic input and you can't flip the screen. So not very ideal for vlogging. Thanks for the kind words Much love to you!
  22. First of all, she’s really lucky to have someone who cares so genuinely about helping. That’s great! Here’s a few things to keep in mind: Depending on how “deep” the “condition” runs, everything that has to do with her body and food (behaviour) can be a touchy subject. The best thing there is to just lead by example: Eat healthy, balanced meals regularly even if she doesn’t participate. Don’t make her wrong for her food choices, but gently encourage her to join you. Just be relaxed about food around her. Loosen all ties around food and avoid diet language. So no more talks about “reward foods”, “cheat meals”, “making up for stuffing ourselves”, etc. Show her that she’s much more than the condition she’s struggling with. Focus on other qualities of her that have nothing to do with her body or food. Give her compliments and encourage her plenty. Could be about how passionate she’s a work, how good of a listener she is, how caring she is towards other people, how bright of a light she is to you… You get the gist See that struggle. of hers as a small part, don’t overemphasise it. Also just focus on other fun things to do together. Take her mind off the issue. If she doesn’t want to go to a restaurant because that’s a difficult situation for her, just say “Great. Let’s go for a hike then. No big deal ” In general, an ED can be scary when having a new partner. Getting undressed in front of you might be really difficult for her. Going swimming or to restaurants might make her really uncomfortable. If these things ever come up, don’t ever force her to do something she’s uncomfortable with. That would cross a serious boundary. Just say something like “That’s fine, we’ll find something else to do. I don’t care what we do, I just enjoy spending time with you.” Some no-brainers are of course: Don’t joke about the condition, don’t ever mention her weight, don’t compare her to other girls. Tell her that you love her and that you think she looks beautiful regularly. You could sit down with her and tell her “Hey, I just want you to know that I’m on your side in this. If you ever wanna talk, just know that I’m here for you. I can’t say I understand what you’re going through but I’m willing to listen to it all. Now or whenever. If there’s anything I can do to support you in this, don’t hesitate to let me know. I love you.” As has been said so many times, you’re not here to safe her. Encourage her to get professional help. Set proper boundaries for yourself on what you can and want to deal with. Don’t blame yourself if she falls back. You’re not her therapist and can’t fix things for her. People can, in the end, only safe themselves. If you’d like to talk/chat, anytime man Best of luck!
  23. yey! happy to see you back on here