flume

Member
  • Content count

    504
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Everything posted by flume

  1. After my first "awakening experience" I had no idea how to put into words the beauty of what I've seen, the trust it created, the meaning it gave to my life. Some time later, I heard this excerpt from The Divine Comedy and I teared up because it so perfectly described what I've seen. All I wanted to do was read this poem for days. "I have been in that heaven the most illumined by light from Him And seen things which to utter, He who returns hath neither skill nor knowledge. For as it nears the object of its yearning, Our intellect is overwhelmed so deeply It never can retrace the path it followed. But whatsoever of the holy Kingdom Was in the power of memory to treasure Will be my theme until the song is ended.” - Dante
  2. I really love that mechanism. Can observe it in so many things. INFJ to the core I'm not sure about Enneagram types. Do you know a good test you can recommend? I get different numbers every time I take one. I also don't get the "wing" thing. So I haven't really looked into it. I get 4 and 5 a lot. Also 9.
  3. "In all intellectual debates, both sides tend to be correct in what they affirm, and wrong in what they deny." - John Stuart Mill
  4. Overwhelm Part 2: Resolve and shifting the lens Dear uneasy feeling of overwhelm, thank you for helping me. I'm not sure how to deal with you when you arise, but I'm sure you're only here to help me evolve. I'm here now, to listen. I'll be as open as I can to your answers. What is it you want to tell me? So you're being as open as you can? Yes. Then you wouldn't have a problem with me arising. Are you forcing me to stay open? You're still trying to anchor yourself in things that don't define you. I'll just crank up the heat until you get that that doesn't work. Isn't that a super ungrounded way to live? When nothing is certain? It's probably the most sane way to live. Look around you, how do people live who want to secure things into place? Read full journal post: https://the-inward-morning.com/journal/overwhelm-part-2-resolve-and-shifting-the-lens Side note: This was 2 days ago. Can't say I'm implementing what I've learned at the minute. I'm a stressed chicken if there ever was one
  5. Love is love's mystique
  6. @RendHeaven I don't even know what to say about that
  7. We've been excited about sharing our love live in more detail for some time now. Given the great ways in which our relationship is developing, we want to dedicate this journal to all the insights and stories that come our way and see how it feels to "go public" in that regard. We hope that, by being raw, authentic and vulnerable, we can inspire more people to get clear on the kinds of relationships they want and how to go about creating them. On here we'll talk about things like: Tantra How we approach polarity: Feminine/ Masculine Dynamics Doing workshops and coaching together Keeping attraction and love growing in a LTR Our journey to possibly creating adult content 😉 Sex stories Psychedelic sex stories / Taking psychedelics together Relationship advice: How to hold space, how and when to give advice, etc. How our past and contitioning is influencing our relationship and how we move through it together How we argue and fight Our favourite books How we open our sex lives: Threesomes, etc. Techniques and practices to have great sex (semen retention, etc.) Making long distance work Navigating being aspiring entrepreneurs together How to make a girl squirt How to make a boy squirt 😂 How to make a ginger squirt 😂😂😂 How to know when you've found the right partner Synchronicities Our idea of how to meet / find / manifest love Practices we do (reading, visioning, values, etc.) Our approach to contraception Spirit babies 😅 and family planning How to get a hot witch boyfriend How to use coconut oil for everything How to use coconut oil for enlightenment etc. I'm not sure yet how much we're really gonna be able to post here as we're both quite busy people. But this is a first try of making our love life more public. Let's see how it feels. I'm excited. What we have is truly amazing. This journal should serve as a dedicated place to document and celebrate that. It's made to entertain and to inspire. Feel free to comment anything you want. We're both pretty open books. Let's go ☺️
  8. I think you’d be surprised to find out that these rules are actually written nowhere, that cultural norms are a collective hallucination and that everyone’s wanting to break out of them just as much as you do. It just needs one person to take the first step, and reading what you wrote, who could that be… Also, there’s a difference between giving your honest opinion and needing people to agree with you. The latter is just a desperate cry for attention; attention that you’re not willing to give yourself. I follow a basic rule when it comes to these things: I only give my opinion on things when I’m directly asked or when I’m completely relaxed and feel that my input could unify, inspire or deepen the understanding. Love, value and honour your feelings and dreams to such a degree that you need no one to validate them. If people do, it’s nice. If they don’t, who cares? Give yourself all the attention and freedom you miss during the day. Also, check out the LP course for that. It'll help immensely with grounding. Be your own best friend, parent, teacher, care taker. Maybe the most worthwhile journey I’ve ever encountered. Another cool rule to live by: “Other people don’t ever have to change. Only I do.” Much love!
  9. Bigger vision! “If you want to build a ship, don’t herd people together to collect wood and don’t assign them tasks and work, but rather teach them to long for the endless immensity of the sea. One will weave the canvas; another will fell a tree by the light of his ax. Yet another will forge nails, and there will be others who observe the stars to learn how to navigate. And yet all will be as one. Building a boat isn’t about weaving canvas, forging nails, or reading the sky. It’s about giving a shared taste for the sea, by the light of which you will see nothing contradictory but rather a community of love." - Antoine de Saint-Exupery
  10. Overwhelm. Again and again. I woke up in pain. Emotional pain. The pain of going through the same struggles again and again and again. "I should have gotten up earlier. I should have read, meditated, done yoga, etc. by now." I feel anxious about work, like I've already done everything wrong even though I haven't even gone there yet. Like its inevitable that I'm gonna disappoint... Read full journal post: https://the-inward-morning.com/journal/overwhelm-again-and-again
  11. So exciting! Hands down, best descriptions of Ni I've ever read. Beautiful! This journal man... Written like a true INFJ. Wanna be best friends?
  12. @Daphnedenninghoff23 Seems like you guys have gone through some amazing growth together. The "risk" in being very honest is that, there might be a point where you decide it doesn't make sense to be together anymore. Just keep the communication going and see where it takes you. I think you're doing much better than you realise. Just be very honest with yourself. How do you feel about the fact that he's with other women? Is it ok for you? Do you still trust him? Do you still feel safe with him? If so, where's the problem? Just because its against the norm doesn't mean you can't become very happy going for it Just make it a regular practice to check in with yourself and communicate your feelings with him. Honesty will always find a way. @Preety_India What manipulation is going on when you're completely honest with each other and only doing things that are ok for both of you? Being open and honest about what you need and wish for is the highest good in any relationship and the only way it's gonna turn out well. Just because you couldn't deal with it doesn't mean it can't work for other couples. I don't like the way you use words like "cheating" and "low self esteem" to describe a perfectly healthy couple finding its way. So misleading.
  13. Great! It's really always the combination of practices that do the trick. Definitely awesome to do things that lie outside of your comfort zone. I thought about that lately. It's not really that I'm not insecure anymore. Those feelings are still there. I just decided to do the things that are scary anyways now. And that's a way quicker road in my experiences. That's when you start realising that life is not against you. And the insecurity is unraveling on its own. I thought I have to fix my self esteem in order to do the things I really want. But actually, doing the things I really want is what's "fixing" my self esteem. Hope that makes sense. "I have found that you have only to take that one step toward the gods, and they will then take ten steps toward you. That step, the heroic first step of the journey, is out of, or over the edge of, your boundaries, and it often must be taken before you know that you will." Joseph Campbell
  14. I'm excited about those trends. They stepped away from the 40h work week over here some time ago. I think 38h is a full time occupation now. It will go down even more in January. I don't know anyone amongst my friends who is working full time either, not even on those terms. 20-30h/week is pretty normal amongst the younger generations. And I have to say, the relaxation, contentment and creativity this affords people is amazing to see.
  15. @Michael569 has a free e-book on dealing with fatigue. Maybe check it out and adapt it to your situation. Other than nutrition, check out "Why we sleep" by Matthew Walker. It'll convince you of the importance of a healthy sleep cycle and help you figure out what works for you. Sleep is just as much a foundation to health as nutrition is. To get out of the worrying mindset, adopt meditation. Start with 10 minutes every morning. I assure you it will be the best habit you'll have ever picked up and it will serve you greatly in your art business. It will snowball down the road if you invest a little bit of time into it on a daily basis. Best of luck!
  16. MDMA. But get your foundation right. Have a friend there who knows your story and can guide you. Clean diet and clean state of mind before you do it. Don't take too much. Maybe write some things down during the trip or record it and set up a way to move on after the trip: Therapy, journaling, reading, meditation, etc.
  17. It's actually impressive that you're still doing this. So cool. How are you feeling so far?
  18. Cool! Keep them posts coming. It's such a relief to get things off your chest by journaling. So much clarity is found when externalising our inner world. I'm sure it will help you clear a lot of things up. Especially interested in reading those You go girl!
  19. @h1001000 Where can I buy your art? Very cool!
  20. Story time: Our first threesome Midnight. My boyfriend, one of my girlfriends and I have just spent the nicest evening together. We had a bit of wine and chilled on the floor of my living room. There was soft music playing in the background, some candles burning. Me and L. have planned on surprising my boyfriend with this threesome for months at this point. It started out as "wouldn't it be funny if..." and slowly turned into a real game plan on how to go about it in detail. So we both knew what would happen later tonight and we're both excited and in a bit of disbelief that the day has come. The wine was definitely needed. It would be the first threesome for both of us. We've always left the option open to not do it if it doesn't feel right for anyone but... Lucky us, we're both totally in the mood. I know L. likes my boyfriend in just the right way. She appreciates his character, feels safe around him, likes his humour, finds him attractive and just knows he's a great guy from everything I tell her about him. I know she likes him. Who wouldn't? And I can't wait to share his skills with her. Nothing inside of me worries about them falling in love though. What he and I have is on a different level and can't be touched so easily. And I trust her so much. So the setup is perfect. L. and I have also made out upfront just to see how it feels. Pretty cool to kiss and touch a girl, honestly. So soft and fragile and full of mysterious emotions. It made me realise that cuddling with guys feels like cuddling with chairs in comparison. I can get into it and really enjoy it, even though I'm not nearly as turned on as I get with guys. "I wanna go to bed now", I say, impatient for the whole thing to start. My boyfriend is a bit hesitant to go with me at first. I see how much he enjoys just having both of us around, laughing about his jokes with that light, flirty tension in the air. He just wants to bathe in that femininity some more. I also know he has at least thought about a threesome. I can feel how much he wants it. And, at this point, I'm beyond excited he's gonna get it. But he doesn't know anything yet. "Just trust me, come with me." is what I'm thinking. He gets up, gives me a kiss, we say goodnight to L. who is getting ready to sleep on the sofa, and happily jump into bed. I take a moment to just take in the love I feel for this man. The desire to make him feel good is pulsating through my body. I rub coconut oil on his belly and we have some intimate time. Kissing, talking,... I almost can't take the tension. I know L. is waiting on the sofa for me. I put a blindfold on him (hoping he wouldn't ask why) and make sure he's positioned in the middle of the bed. Perfect. Everything is going according to plan. At this point, I feel like a nervous teenager talking to his crush, constantly jumping back and forth, unable to relax. "I quickly have to go to the toilet. Just wait right here. Don't move." L. is waiting for me in the living room in her underwear and we look each other in the eyes, excited for it to begin, whatever it may be. We give each other a kiss and head to the bedroom. I open the door softly. He hasn't moved. Awesome. The atmosphere is beautiful. Candle lights, soft music with a tribal touch, each of us a little tipsy. Here's the music that played through the night: We both sneak in on our tip toes and lay down in his arms like two gifts who just dropped down from heaven. He has me in his right arm and her in his left and we just start rubbing his chest. I don't know what's going on inside of him right now. There's no talking. But I reckon he's in utter disbelief. It must feel so wonderful to have two soft feminine bodies rubbing against you from both sides. Somewhat symmetrically, we run our hands over his torso and start kissing his neck. When my hands run over his underwear for the first time i feel it: He's. Rock. Hard. Drops of precum on his belly. Makes me grin, look at L. and we kiss each other passionately. Still with his eyemask on, he can only guess what is happening. That's really how far our plan went. We said, if it's just cuddling and more doesn't feel right, we can just leave it at that. But we're all slowly really getting into it. So this is not it. By far. As things get a bit more heated, they started kissing passionately. It felt weird for a moment, but it was gone so quickly that I wasn't even sure there was anything there in the first place. But I kneeled over them for a few moments, watching them. Watching my boyfriend kiss another women. And I waited. I waited for the kick of jealousy to come in. In vein. Nothing happened. I almost couldn't believe it. What a weird experience. All I could think was how wonderful it is that everyone's having such a great time and how beautiful this looks. So much style, so much passion... I wish I could take snapshots through my eyes like a camera to keep some of the atmosphere for later. I proceed to sucking his dick. It's all a bit blurry from then on. I was so in the zone, loosing track of time, loosing track of what body part belongs to whom, which pleasure is mine and which is from another, and I just let myself go... We spent hours rolling around in bed, licking and sucking each other, making out in every way possible. One of the hottest moments that are really standing out to me was when me and L. went down to suck my boyfriends dick at the same time. Both kissing his waistline, both moaning softly, taking turns pleasuring him. He looked down on us with this crazy and intense look, keeping both our heads in his hands, feeling like the king he is. Mhhh. Another one was when me and L. were super lovingly kissing each other, checking in if everything is still ok. It looked something like this: My boyfriend came back from the bathroom with this look on his face, like he still couldn't quite believe this is happening. "This looks so incredibly beautiful", he says. We keep making out and he goes down to pleasure our pussies. Laying between our legs, he looks a little bit like a sex slave, who's only job is to make us happy. I like the picture. He licks L. and starts fingering me. Now he's got my attention again. I have no idea how he does what he does, but as soon as this man goes inside of me, I just dissolve and ripple out in endless waves of pleasure. I almost can't continue kissing L. because I'm moaning so hard. I also almost bursted out into tears when I was in the middle of them, both naked, both so close to me, both focused on me. Both of them know me so well, both of them I love so much, and i couldn't believe how cool all this is and how loved I felt. It made me so proud that I took the step and organised this evening to happen. For the entire evening, no one ever felt excluded or like he/she needs to overly perform. Nothing went on behind anyone's back. It was just a celebration of love. The overall vibe was so safe, respectful, slow and loving. Just perfect for a first threesome. We could have gone a lot harder, but that just didn't seem right for the first time. Maybe next time. My boyfriend and I locked eyes so many times. We had these extended moments of just looking at each other, and it was like something was communicating through our eyes so that we knew instinctively what to do next. I didn't think I would be ok with him actually having sex with L. But when the time came it was the most intimate and beautiful thing. He was fucking her while kissing me and looking me in the eyes, like we're carrying each other through this experience. It's also so beautiful to see him have sex with someone, to feel two bodies moving like that. To be on the outside, but somehow deeply involved. He's so skilled at what he does, which just makes me wanna watch and admire him all day. It also makes me proud to share my man with L. He's so good in bed, it would almost be a sin to keep it all to myself. It's crazy how turned on you can be just by watching someone else have sex. Even though watching is the wrong word; I was almost in between them when they had sex, lol. Towards the end, L. comes while touching herself because she sees how he and I have sex. It turned her on hard. How beautiful. She has a ton of respect for our relationship and I could feel that all the way through. Honestly, there's so much more I could still write about, but this post is getting looooong. It was slowly getting light outside when we decided to sleep. I needed to get out of the bedroom for a moment and was suddenly bugged by the fact that L. was falling asleep in our bed. I mean, it's our bed, right? She could make out with my boyfriend all she wants, but when it's over, we still need to be clear on our roles. And she just took my spot. All not on purpose of course, so I wasn't mad at anyone. But I was still a little hurt. That's not something I thought about up front and I had no idea it could be a problem. So I stay on the living room sofa, still blissed out of my mind but also a bit confused by my feelings. My boyfriend comes to me and we talk about what happened. I told him that I'm not sure what's going on and he reassures me that it's gonna be ok. We cuddle, laugh and chat about the awesome thing we've just done. How good it was. How turned on we were. We couldn't believe it. We're so high on love. He had no idea any of this would happen so the surprise was perfect. He said he can't believe his luck with a girlfriend like me and that he felt so loved and safe throughout the entire experience. I feel the same way. I love that man in ways I can't even describe. He stayed with me on that tiny sofa until the morning came, telling me I'm his queen, talking about all the amazing things we still want to do in our lives. With the strength of our love backing us up, suddenly nothing seems impossible. It's good to be alone with him again. I really needed to reconnect with him after the experience. Checking in if everything is still the same, you know? We have sex on the sofa until the sun is up and then fall asleep in each others arms from sheer exhaustion. The "next day", everything is fine. We have a good laugh about everything, L. is going home and it seems like nothing has changed. Except we're on experience richer. One that was beautiful for everyone involved. Who would have thought that was possible? Definitely not me a few years ago.
  21. Stay tuned. It's very counter-intuitive
  22. When I spent more time in vegan circles, someone made a point to exchange idioms like these into more animal-friendly ones. Since then, instead of "Kill two birds with one stone" I now say "Feed two birds with one scone". I think it's kinda cute
  23. Anxiousness = Excitement without Breath.