Bill W

@Anna1 @DrewNows Thanks both. Received. Be back later.

In some regards I am going through similar, especially in terms of the impact this is having on you. I can see you are trying to take responsibility, but probably no one has full control over their thoughts and emotions? Especially thoughts. Your post reads like she is fucking up all your progress and all your efforts count for shit once you step back into the reality of your environment. Like there is two worlds. Your world away from crazy mum and your world in the house of shit. Naturally you are trying to dodge the house of shit. I wish I remembered the source of this. I am trying to use it myself as I am in a similar situation to you. I read this once and wondered if it would help you... "What stands in the way, becomes the way" If you work out how to manage getting triggered by your mum you will gain something that money can't buy. You will gain freedom and spiritual wealth. As Don Miguel Ruiz would say "We are all the most important characters in our own story and a secondary character in everyone else's story"

@tsuki Yes that's good thanks. Power of Habit. Great book. I read it before I identified as an addict. He makes some very positive comments about AA in that book. I think he is of the opinion that AA is the most successful habit changing organisation/system ever.

Can anyone help with this. Why is ACIM referred to as Non-Dual? I've never grasped what Non-Dual really is, despite many hours of reading about it. I know I don't have to understand it, and I am sure I could get a lot from ACIM anyway, but can anyone describe to an idiot why ACIM would be said to be Non-Dual?

Still trying to figure that out. From a simple psychological view (although somewhat physiological perhaps as well), I keep coming back to thinking that I am putting short-term gratification ahead of longer term aspirations. But that sounds obvious and not especially insightful. Bigger picture thinking right now is that I am short on courage to change because even though I like to think I have faith, I don't. I'm not very non-dual so I see God or the Higher Power as external to me, but that I also have a Higher Self. I'm lacking in faith. I'm clinging to my own way of doing things pretty much. It's like I've got my foot in the door of surrendering to God, but I'm not quite willing to jump in. It's hurting me that this is the case. I'm working on it.

@okulele Thanks for the clip, looks great.

Join the club! Although unfortunately for me I am showing great commitment to avoiding practicing and doing the inner work and showing great commitment to eating unhealthily among other bad habits and great commitment to alienating some of the more important and useful people in my life. I guess we are all comitted to something! Even non commitment is a commitment lol

@Zigzag Idiot Thanks for taking the time to post this. Very helpful.

I'm about to watch the video you linked above. Whilst I'm watching that I thought I'd post here. This is the version I have https://www.amazon.co.uk/Course-Miracles-Pocket-Workbook-Manual/dp/0976420031/ref=sr_1_4?crid=1II7WCYC21I76&keywords=a+course+in+miracles&qid=1567941376&s=gateway&sprefix=a+course+in%2Caps%2C156&sr=8-4 Basically, with my version, that means I don't actually have the original text then? Man, I could write forever right now. I glanced through the book above and I can see I underlined a bunch of stuff that grabbed my attention a few months back. I might end up doing a new thread on ACIM in another section of the forum as I have so many questions. I'm struggling right now. I'm not in a good place at all. I am not doing any of the practices with regards spirituality in any form. I am not doing the work, and that's why I am on shit street right now. I've also looked at your other links above, thanks for that. It reminds me of when I discovered my love for the Bible a few months ago, I then feel like a child in a sweet shop and don't know where to start! Speak soon.

Good video. Have heard his name but never heard his stuff. I'm wondering if his other stuff will resonate with me? Will take a look.

Two things here. 1. I think I am having a moment where I am supposed to realise how much I am abusing caffeine right now. Between glancing at your post here and a thread on health section about caffeine just moments ago I'm meant to have a powerful realisation just how dysfunctional I am with my nutrition and fluid intake at the moment. I have fallen into the trap of replacing one addiction with another because I haven't done the inner work well enough. I need to know this. Well I knew it but repressed it and buried it. 2. On a more light hearted note it made me laugh about your reasoning for sugar today. I am in the midst of an actual damaging sugar addiction involving secret eating and hiding of sugar foods from others it's really bad. I have a worse excuse to share using your terminology and adding some humour..... unfortunately I have had some (shit load) of sugar today but I gave in for comfort purposes ?

I'm not convinced of any benefits and never been convinced it's a problem. I've tried no fapping but not for long periods and only to intensify the orgasm rather than try to give up fapping. I believe it's a healthy activity if not done to excess. I'd much rather give up eating junk food than fapping or give up a whole host of other things. But for people who over do it or get obsessed with fapping and/or porn I imagine they really want to do no fap.

@Psyche_92 32 days still shows discipline. No Fap is not part of my development but others areas of perceived ill discipline are. If you managed 32 days regularly you'd only be fapping 11 or 12 times in a whole year. Interesting choice of words!

I'm gonna read this journal from front to back. I keep dipping in and out.

Hi All, I've just started reading Mere Christianity by CS Lewis. I've not read his stuff before. I wanted to share a quote from the book. Comfort is the one thing you cannot get by looking for it. If you look for truth, you may find comfort in the end: if you look for comfort you will not get either comfort or truth - only soft soap and wishful thinking to begin with and, in the end, despair.

Lovely story with a happy ending.

Yes, I honestly believe these teachings have a place on this sub-forum. I've seen Leo make the odd reference to AA and 12-step programs, and I've never seen him dismiss them out of hand. One thing AA has in common with Leo's vision is that AA is a program of ACTION. You have to do the practices daily. You have to do the work. If you try to avoid taking responsibility you will likely not make much progress. If you are stuck in the blame game you will likely not make much progress. I really believe that the teachings would also be valuable to people who don't identify as an addict. I'll leave you with two videos for now and then below some of my favorite passages from AA Literature. First video is Father Martin talking about Step 1, 14.54 long Second video is Russell Brand covering Steps 1-5 with a reference to psychedelics at the end actually, 3.25 long Some of my favorite passages from AA literature Selfishness is the root of our troubles. Driven by a hundred forms of fear and self-delusion. Self-righteousness and avoiding looking at your own shortcomings, the very thing we condemned in others, was our own evil. When temporary good fortune came our way, we indulged ourselves in fantasies of still greater victories over people and circumstances. Thus, blinded by self-confidence, we were apt to play the big shot. Of course, people turned away from us, bored or hurt. Nearly every serious emotional problem can be seen as a case of misdirected instinct. We impose our instincts on others. We step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate. We must place spiritual growth before the satisfaction of instincts. If we examine every disturbance we have, great or small, we will find at the root of it some unhealthy dependency and its consequent unhealthy demand. Let us, with God’s help, continually surrender these hobbling liabilities. Then we can be set free to live. If we were to live, we had to be free of anger and resentment. We must be sure to remember that we cannot buy our own peace of mind at the expense of another. This is a sick man. How can I be helpful to him? We avoid retaliation or argument. Honesty with ourselves and others gets us sober, but it is tolerance that keeps us that way. In meditation, debate has no place. We rest quietly with the thoughts of someone who knows, so that we may experience and learn.

I might be in the minority but I'd love to have more alone time. I wish I could hand over a lot of people in my life to someone who needs them more than me.

I wonder if going on a sun bed would have the same result? I will try this for the next week. 6hrs a day on the sunbed with just my ball bags on display. I will come back like this Alpha dude I hope

T That must make it tricky for any sexual partners of yours, as half way through making love they could end up either a pedophile or a necrophile.

@Zigzag Idiot Thanks for this my friend.

Thanks. Yes I would be interested in that version. Thanks for letting me know. To be continued!

Thanks. I'll take a picture of the book for you as when I ordered it I got confused as to what ACIM I was getting.

I need to go back to this. I tried it and didn't take to it. Can't remember why. I still have it. Maybe I wasn't ready before. Has anyone done the whole 365 exercises?

My passion for tropical fish turned into an obsession a few years back. Ended up with about 8 aquariums in a 1-bed flat.