Chumbimba

Lately I have been smoking cannabis (out of character for me and huge ego backlash right now) but at the same time I have been having some deep self-reflective thoughts which have given me insights about my nature, my behaviors life purpose etc. It has helped me see things with a more detached perspective can cannabis be a stepping stone to psychedelics and can they help you with psychological problems.

Which is a better option to practically learn code and get a job. I know I can be self taught, but I would rather learn from someone who has experience.

@Meister_Eckhart Joy is the feeling while you’re doing something Excitement is the anticipation or the feelings before you do something just my definition

When it comes to job dissatisfaction I have trouble sleeping at night because of my job and how empty I feel inside because of it. It robbed me of all my love for life. I feel like a victim to change my circumstances. I am working on this daily but really I want to become a freelancer, I just feel like it is over saturated

@supremeyingyang I paid cash but it was a lot of money. I know I can make it back but it will just take time. My job and family situation makes me so anxious I am always afraid for my security

I have posted two other topics and I want to add one more. I have been watching actualized.org for almost three years. As you can see all my questions have to relate to my mind and its function. The thing is I only watch Leo's videos and only listening to Leos perspective on things and not having one of my own. This actually has made me blame, resent and project onto Leo when things dont go well in my life. I feel like I have been brainwashed by his teachings to the point where I dont do certain things in my life because they wouldn't please him or they would ruin my life. I have a hard time listening to other perspectives because I have only listened to him for so long. Like when he ranted against the pick up community, I am afraid to go out there and talk to girls because I know my life will be hollow on the other side of that. I also have problems researching

@Hardik will do haha maybe one day

@Javfly33 fear is the problem and over thinking and my self-deceptions

@Lyubov The true answer is no. I dont trust myself. I have made so many mistakes in my life I dont want to keep fucking up and hurting myself. So I proceed through life very cautiously and timidly.

@Kalki Avatar Your responses are greatly appreciated I am aware I put him on a pedestal. Didn't have my dad in my life like I wish to, so I sometimes project that type of authority figure onto other people. Pathetic I know.. but I am working on it

@Leo Gura It's my fault. I started watching your content my second semester of college. Naive and dint know what I was getting myself into or how it all works. I admired your teaching style deeply (still do). I just went too deep and did not take any practical action steps in the realm of spirituality. I thought I knew everything you were saying but I bullshitted myself. I will stop watching your content for a while and do massive action on the things I want. I need to go back to the fundamentals. I have a habit of getting ahead of myself then not accomplishing anything of lasting value and I did that here. I appreciate your response and empathizing with me. It means a lot

@Nak Khid it has nothing to with him but how I am interpreting his message

@Nak Khid I am always confused... always

@Nak Khid its really deep. I feel guilty looking up how computers work because since I have started watching Leo. I realized how low tech is. like social media I deleted it and how society is more about progress and less about psychology.

@James123 im not just talking about enlightenment and consciousness. Money Career Relationships Food I really dont care about enlightenment anymore

@Username I supress some of my stage orange needs because I feel like they are evil and hurtful to society so I am trying to jump to turquoise. @Nak Khid so an example would be like when I am trying to work on learning computers. I want to research what a computer is. I will do one google search, read one article then forget about the entirety of the research project. I dont cross reference sources because I dont know which one to trust

@LfcCharlie4 I dont even know what he means by consciousness/awareness

Currently learning python and need assistance. As cool as it would be to act stoic and tell myself I can do this all alone, I cannot so I am reaching out for help. Any takers ?

Yesterday I asked how to get out of my head, but today I learned I actually need to self-reflect more and go deeper into my pain and misery. The problem is my mind won't take me all the way to get the answers I need to solve my problems. How can I go deeper into my pain, feel it more so that I can purify myself and solve my problems.

I have been meditating for almost 4 years (on and off) but my min still swallows me in imagination and concepts. Any techniques I can do to ground myself in reality ?

@James123 with that question I almost turned into mooji , I realized i need to go deeper into my head and investigate more. I will be posting a post shortly asking on how to do that

I recently moved back in with my mom which was a mistake. She really makes me angry. I am really sick and tired of her telling me how I need to act and be as a man and how I should treat women and even as a human being. I am 23 and I get treated like I am 7. Constant lectures, complaints, criticisms, negative energy all day long. The way she wants me to treat women is like a beta cuck who does everything for them even at the expense of my feelings. Like yesterday my best friend had a girl he likes over my house and she got mad at me and tried to lecture me because she ordered a fucking uber home and she told me I needed to order her one. I JUST MET THIS GIRL YESTERDAY. Why would I spend money on her. Do I have deep rooted issues and a history of disrespecting women ? absolutely and I am working on that every day. At the same time I can't heal my problems with women when the main women in my life (my mom) is projecting all her insecurities about men and her unresolved issues onto me. Having me put women on this god damn pedestal all the time. I love women more than anything on this planet, but that does not mean I need to worship their needs at the cost of how I authentically feel. Thank you for letting me vent

@Vercingetorix Well when I do love her and show her appreciation she doesn't accept it. I always get burned and hurt in the end Her needs are insatiable and it has made me realize that I can't meet the needs of others if my needs aren't met. @Keyhole Damn Thank you for making me self-reflect so hard

@remember We all share the rent. She is too lazy to get a job she talks on the phone all day and does nothing. Thinking some man is going to come and save her and take care of her. I hate her genuinely I do. She is not supportive at all and all I want her to do is love me and she does the complete opposite every time. She wants me to be who she wants me to be and not who I am. And that is the issue. I can be loving to women, but at the same time I am not some people pleasing doormat who just takes shit from people at the expense of my authentic choices. I am moving soon.

@javfly33 I thought software engineers are in demand ? What country do you live in ? Do you have a degree because one of the reasons I am pursuing that field is job security