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Everything posted by Khr

  1. My period is usually very light, today is my second day and it seems to be gone now… usually it is about 2 days with second day very light and maybe some spotting for another 1-2 days. Is it normal? I also have migraines every time my period comes, is there anything to do about them?
  2. Would you consider marrying a guy who was not educated and made very little money?
  3. Growing up in Eastern Europe, as a girl I was encouraged to study and would constantly hear things such as “you’re a girl, look some guy is getting better grades than you, how is it possible?” Whenever a boy wouldn’t want to study his parents would brush it off saying “oh, of course, he’s a boy, he has a lot of energy and wants to play outside, how can he possibly want to sit still at home and study?” Eastern Europe has huge amounts of stage red, it’s not considered masculine here for boys to sit and study - it’s more popular in school for them to smoke and drink and boys who are more nerdy and smart are being bullied a lot. Interestingly, this wasn’t much the case 20-30 years ago.. Consequently, when you’ve f*caked up middle and high school, you have little chances to get into university. I think it is also common around the globe to see teenagers being more in stage red as well. It is very common here to see marriages where a woman is highly educated and a male has only a high school diploma - granted the divorce rate here is very high and they rarely ever last.
  4. My grandma doesn’t want to get Pfizer because she is worrying about dying after the vaccine. She says all her friends got vaccinated with CoronaVac, however, this vaccine is not accepted in Canada if she was to visit us this winter in Canada. How can I convince her to get Pfizer? Should I take the responsibility of getting her vaccinated? It is total mess here in Ukraine and no one is taking any measures to keep distance and to stay safe. I can’t even imagine what would happen if one was to actually get sick here with the kind of medical system they have..
  5. Her doctor didn’t get vaccinated herself - she said she doesn’t feel safe. Doctors here don’t even know how to turn on a computer, literally..
  6. She has thyroid lumps and pancreatitis.
  7. Welcome to toxic/dogmatic stage green .
  8. Hi all, I wanted to ask what is the difference between someone boasting and high self esteem? After a conversation with a friend, I came to realize that a lot of narcs in my life would often boast either about how good and helpful of a human they are or about how great they are in general. Oftentimes I thought talking about yourself so positively is a sign of high self esteem, but now I am not so sure. How much does a person with a high self esteem talk highly of themselves?
  9. I feel I struggle with this. On one hand I feel it’s not a big problem for me - I am sometimes able to do stuff that are in my best interest even if it makes me look bad/upsets people. On the other hand, if I am honest, I don’t think most of the time I do the above and something feels off about how I feel. Over the years I’ve tried a few things: Meditating imagining everyone in the world is dead and I have the whole world to myself (this was probably the most effective way and it brought me a lot of inner piece, but as I got older/got more problems/got more busy, I couldn’t reach this stage anymore) Deactivating all social media Spending a lot of time by myself (as an introvert I guess I do it naturally) Having days where I don’t talk to anyone (also worked pretty well, but I felt it was never enough, I wish I could do more, I have a feeling this is the only way to overcome this dependency) On this forum, I try not to post anything anymore unless it is going to help me somehow - oftentimes I would wonder if stuff I commented on other people’s posts was just to validate myself, so I quit doing it. What are some of your practical ways?
  10. It’s not that I care that others will think bad of me - it’s that all of my motivations is “others” - I want to get nice outfits for others, I want to learn pole dancing for others, I want to have a good career for others - if I was to do pole dancing and never tell anyone I pole dance, and keep it a secret I don’t think I’d want to do pole dancing….
  11. I don’t even like what I did here just now. Trying to compare myself to others. Why do I care where others are at? Why do I constantly need to be “better” or “worse”?
  12. I am watching the first video, I already have some thoughts why I am afraid of letting go - because I worry if I let go I will go wild and screw up my life. Like lose my job, become promiscuous, get fat, get uninspired, lose everyone I have in my life, lose people’s respect - basically become what Britney is right now - not giving a fuck posting weird sh*t on social media - there is a part of me that admires that bravery but is really scared of it and doesn’t believe it’s real. I worry that if I become this way and then one day I will wake up to this craziness and go back to my neurotic self worrying about everything I have done a lot worse than I am worrying now. Like the guy in the video, on an intellectual level I understand a lot of things, but when I examine my motives - like his true motives to create a YouTube channel - they feel so unpleasant to me. I live my life for other people, I don’t live my life for me. But I am afraid to live my life for me because it just seems so weird and utterly uninteresting - what would motivate me then? What would keep me going? Is it even truly possible to reach a state when you don’t need any validation? Where you’re living life only for yourself? Is it maybe the case that to reach that state you first need to get a lot of validation - like that guy on YouTube through all his followers? Is it so hard for me to understand because I am so messed up? Is it normal for others to be that way? Or are the others just less aware that they are living life for other people? Is this a constant struggle one has to deal with? Or is there a state where you fully live life for yourself only?
  13. I have a big fear of public speaking. I did most of my schooling back home, I moved to Canada in grade 11. Back home we never did any kind of presentations, we would sometimes have to answer to questions from the teacher in front of the whole class, or recite a leg long poem, but never speak from ourselves. The first presentation I ever did in Canada was a speech on something you are passionate about. Other students would talk about ballet and soccer, and my speech was about Chernobyl. The topic of my speech and not speaking English very well, made this to be a very stressful experience. Ever since then I’ve been scared. In university we didn’t do many presentations, but the few ones we did, my friends would joke that I barely looked at people and just stared on the presentation or my notes. At work I do some presentations, about once a month in front of a group of 30+. Still even today, even though I am working from home, even though I turned off my camera, my voice was still a little shaky. Knowing a lot about the topic definitely helps me to be less scared, but unfortunately sometimes I just have to speak about stuff I don’t know much about to really smart people who can easily catch inconsistencies. I watched Leo’s video on it long time ago, and I believe he said practice is key, but I’ve been practicing, and yet I am still scared.
  14. It’s not morbid. It doesn’t have to be that they are all “dead”, it’s just a way to describe it. But basically what I imagine is that the whole city is empty, the streets are empty, and it’s just me, and I can do whatever I want. That’s why I think I am also a night owl, there is something so peaceful and beautiful when the whole city is asleep, I have more energy then. My life has been so busy the last few years. I barely had alone time, because when I was alone, my thoughts were with someone/something else. I miss feeling like there’s nothing to do, nowhere to go, no one to respond to. I don’t know how to get into this state and still remain in my lifestyle, living in this city. Also what’s selfish energy? Lol
  15. Hm, this is interesting. Never heard this before. I’ve been recommended of taking improv classes, but idk, something about it doesn’t align with me. I’ve been thinking of toastmasters. One of the guys I know was taking comedy classes - they had to do a standup at the end, he did really well, also found a gf there. I was thinking maybe this would be a bit more up my alley.
  16. Yeah.. idk why I chose this, I guess I was always intrigued by how messed up things were during the Soviet Union times.. also thought people would talk about important things 😅. I feel a part of this is still a language barrier - I speak well now, and I have a slight accent only, some topics are much easier for me to discuss in English, but I still may forget some words some times and have a long “ummm”. I work with very smart people and I sometimes don’t feel as smart as some of them. If I want to have some career progression I need to be just as smart if not smarter. I also do need the money.
  17. Lol, it sucks that you’re gay, you really remind me of Kili from the Hobbit. I used to have/still have a major crush on him. Couldn’t even watch the Hobbit for a few of years because he dies in the movie..
  18. And you go and be a squirrel. I don’t know how to just be not attached.
  19. When I was 20-21 years old, I had a traumatic experience that I feel I should look into. I took some naked pictures for my then boyfriend as we were in a long distance relationship. At some point I was having issues with my laptop, so I went to a repair shop. I copied the images off of my computer to an SD card, but then I forgot to remove the SD card from my computer before dropping it off to the repair store. I was feeling very bad over it for some time, having some random guys look at my naked pics or even copy them was my worst nightmare. I was in a very bad place because of it for maybe 6 months if not more. I think this is when my anxieties and panic attacks really flourished. I still have some very bad feeling about it and worry that somedays these pictures may show up somewhere. I think it made me to be a very private person, till this day I don’t like when other people have my pictures (photographers, friends taking pictures with me), I mean I still do it, but sometimes I feel a bit anxious over it. How do I get over this?
  20. Well social media is generally bad because I spend too much time on it. Meditating that the whole world is dead helped me to connect with what it is that I really want, listen to myself.
  21. Hm, I don’t have anything like that I am scared of doing. Probably one big one used to be travelling alone, but I don’t think I care about that so much anymore, actually sounds pretty nice 😅. But I guess if I was back at the office it would’ve been hard to say that I am travelling alone, I wouldn’t be able to own it..
  22. I am worried about losing my job. The worst case for me would be that. Or that people/family I am close to would see them. Also probably worried about losing respect. (I am just being honest here and saying how I truly feel)
  23. I am trying to tell you that when giving advice it’s good to meet people where they are at, instead of where you think you’re at. And while going meta is technically a solution to everything, most people are not in a position to do it - it’s not practical.
  24. @blueberries I don’t have a 100% clear idea, I was able to get very close to it, but over the last few years I’ve disconnected from myself. Hm, I know someone who posts pictures like that too. I’ve been admiring that quality, I don’t think I can do that (yet?). I also was never a big fan of “doing what you’re scared of to overcome the fear”, it feels too harsh to me - e.g., if you’re scared of heights, go jump off a parachute - something inside me feels weird about this kind of method. It almost feels to masculine - or is it not?