integral

If something is not loved it cannot be understood. How can one understand something while blinded by unintegrated negative experiences?

Have you not seen the movies? The above is the primary fantasy for both men and woman. “men look for sex objects, and women look for success objects,” “men want the one thing from every woman, while women want everything from one man,” and “for men the physical attraction (and sex) causes the relationship, while for most women, the relationship causes the physical attraction (and sex).”

? your wish is my command, 2 wishes left, choose them well. ? In the comment the women part was left at the bottom of each paragraph. These fantasies run deep in our unconscious, are almost impossible to transcend and their fulfillment is the prerequisite for any romantic interest in a member of the opposite sex. We’re going to refer to them collectively as the Primary Fantasy. All other qualities that lovers typically seek in a partner are secondary to the Primary Fantasy and usually gender-neutral. Primary Fantasy: Men are conditioned to be physically attracted to young (or at least, younger), vital, and healthy-looking females with smooth skin, shiny hair, well aligned complete white teeth, symmetric facial and body features, wide hips, small waists (ideally with an 0.7 hip-to-waist ratio),65 sparkling eyes, and full breasts, which are all indicators for fertility and the ability to bear healthy children.66 Secondary Fantasy: Shared values, interests, lifestyle choices, temperaments, plans and dreams for the future, and compatible needs around time spent together, money, and sex. ---- Unfortunately attraction is primitive. The secondary fantasy becomes more important as men mature and reach higher levels in sexual stage (stage 4+), spiritual stage and anima/animus stage developments. They are more likely to seek woman based on secondary fantasy compatibilities. Couples with similar lifestyle choices, interests, intelligences, and passions, who are at the same level of their consciousness, spiritual, sexual, and anima/animus complex development, with opposite feminine/masculine polarities and complementary personality types experience the most fulfilling long-term partnerships. These compatibilities allow them to enjoy their sexual attraction and synergy, and to resolve conflicts by the same means until they grow apart in their developmental lines or lose their opposite sexual polarities. Partners with minor differences in their horizontal stage development may be able to get along and support each other in their growth, while couples with larger discrepancies will experience conflicts that are irresolvable once the initial hormonal rush that impaired their rational perception and made them look at each other through rose-colored glasses wears off, and the day-to-day reality of life sinks in.

The parameters that define male success in the eyes of females significantly increase in complexity with each level of her consciousness development, while the definition of sexiness that makes females attractive to males (a healthy body, sexual availability/radiance, and support of his vision) is consistent throughout human evolution, across cultures, and within vertical stage development of men.295 In the archaic beige stage of consciousness development (1% of U.S. adult population), male success is defined by day-to-day survival skills. In females, a healthy sexy body that indicates fertility and sexual availability are seen as attractive. In the superstitious purple stage (10%), male success is defined by the ability to adapt to their immediate natural environment, cleverly exploit its resources, appease threatening ghosts or spirits through perceived magical powers, and loyalty to their family clan, band, or gang. In females, a healthy sexy body that indicates fertility, sexual availability, and healthy instincts are seen as attractive. In the egocentric red stage (20%), male success is measured by their level of independence, confidence, aggressiveness, potency, creativity, and ability to cleverly exploit others for their own immediate gain. In females, a flashy sexy body, a high “fuck ability” factor, and respect for his needs/attitude are seen as attractive. In the conformist blue stage (40%), male success is measured by their level of reliability, job security, and devotion to family, religion, and country (the conservative, consistent, law-abiding husband). In females, a healthy sexy body, sexual willingness, elegance, and devotion to him are seen as attractive. In the rational orange stage (25%), male success is defined by their levels of income,296 future earning potentials,297 overall net worth, displays of status symbols (e.g., Rolex watch, luxury car, designer clothes, penthouse apartment, or mansion—and lately some pseudo-environmental consciousness, for example driving a hybrid or electric car, or installing solar panels), social status, advanced degrees and titles, professional achievements, international travel experience, ambition, cleverness, wit, generosity, and physical fitness (the winner). In females, a healthy sexy body, being “sex-positive,” physical fitness, classiness, and support of his mission are seen as attractive. In the pluralistic green stage (10%), male success is evaluated by the amount of available time, level of passive income, accumulated wealth, altruism,298 emotional availability, environmental awareness, natural health consciousness, worldliness, and sensitivity (the affluent, kind, semiretired activist, philanthropist, healer, teacher, artist, etc.). In females, a naturally beautiful, healthy, sexually radiant body, and support for his vision are seen as attractive. In the Integral teal and transpersonal turquoise stages (4%), male success is defined by increasing wisdom, ability to integrate all the healthy qualities from the previous stages (survival skills, natural instincts, power/creativity, devotion, financial success/status, and sensitivity), and embodiment of higher state-stages of spiritual realizations and ego transcendence. In females, a healthy sexy body, sexual shine, skills as a tantric lover, and ability to meet him as an opposite and equal at the level of all seven chakras in kind and degree are seen as attractive.

Any sexual stage can happen at any spiral dynamics stage. So depending on your spiral stage a stage 5 sexual experience will be interpreted differently. Examples: A modern Purple male shaman may be fully present in his body (spiritual stage 1), while being in sexual tantric union with a woman (sexual state-stage 5), and fully accept her as an equal and opposite human being (anima complex stage 5). He may then interpret his experience as a magical spirit flowing through him to the woman and being reflected back from her. An Blue male priest who conforms to the mythic laws of the Bible may have had a mystical experience (spiritual state-stage 4) of Christ consciousness, see women as sex objects (anima stage 2), and, while on a vacation in Thailand, fuck several prostitutes (sexual state-stage 2). He may see his spiritual experience as grace from God, treat women as inferior to men whom they should obey, and curse his sexual addiction, which he can’t control, as a Satanic affliction. An Orange female biology teacher who has never had any spiritual experiences (spiritual stage 0) may enjoy various “boy-toys” as sex partners(sexual state-stage 3), and see men as being as equally independent as she is (anima complex stage 4). She may reject any spiritual notion as irrational, enjoy sex as a pleasurable and healthy physical activity, and value men as competent colleagues but not as romantic life partners.

Recently I’ve been experimental eating one carrot. bunch of bell peppers. potatoes or rice. 12 raw eggs. Daily and feeling pretty good

Minors are into BDSM nowadays, you guys just don’t understand the world around you anymore. Gen-z is highly sexually exposed by the Internet and are into all sorts of things very young and are experiencing a childhood that’s very different and more advanced than we did. Seriously consider this, you are a boomer to them, there is a huge generation gap.

Social calibration happens naturally when you truly understand them and see them with out judgment = love. Creating space for them to speak openly and love talking to you happens naturally when you love them exactly the way they are. People intuit your value by the love that effortlessly penetrates them and they throw them selves at you. Everything that game teaches is the high value that you become when you love yourself completely.

Healthy Red, the Selfish Hero who fight only for himself, with honor "I'd rather die standing, than live kneeling", fearless with everything to lose, unbound strength that comes from sheer focus and will. Standing his ground to die immortal. My will is absolute.

Healthy Red, the Selfish Hero who fight only for himself, with honor "I'd rather die standing, than live kneeling", fearless with everything to lose, unbound strength that comes from sheer focus and will, standing his ground to die immortal.

Domination, bondage, rape fantasies, voyager, choking, sensory deprivation, humiliation, sugar mama... Where are all these fantasies manifesting from? After many years of sexual partners ive found my self role playing different fantasies to my partners request to satisfy there needs, but in the end i dont genuinely enjoy or want any of it, i do it for them. The only kind of sex i want is deeply loving someone, emotional + physical + intellectual + spiritual intimacy. Is this the "purest" form of sex? When all the baggage and ego games one is caring around is let go, what kind of sex is left? There was one guy on the forum "enlightened" that said hes into masochism and more pain he receives during sex the better lol.

To tell what stage one is in, it depends on what the egos emotional needs are and not what the thinking mind ideally/theoretically understands. When someone transitions from stage 3 to stage 4 animus they loss ALL the things that kept them attached to there partner. There needs completely changed. Stage 5 when reading it is what the ego ideally wants to be but in practice it is easily satisfied (needs are met) with much less and picks partners at very low levels. Red pill is stage 2 anima. Many of the men in the dating section are at stage 2 and stage 3 anima and why they are impossible to reason with lol

Ascending (or self-transcendence) Is the upward drive towards heaven, the absolute, union, spirit, or Godhead, away from the fragmented details of the manifest world and its many forms. Einstein’s famous quote aptly describes ascending: “I want to know how God created this world. I am not interested in this or that phenomenon, in the spectrum of this or that element. I want to know His thoughts, the rest are details.” Ascending is also characterized as “the love that reaches up” (Eros) that brings forth new creations by arranging fragments into larger wholes, such as notes into symphonies, ingredients into meals, colors into paintings, words into sentences, knowledge into wisdom, individuals into couples, or communities into societies. Ascenders look at reality from a distance and see fractions as part of the larger whole or a greater totality. They perceive the world from an extended bird’s eye view and try to rise ever higher in consciousness to encompass everything. Ascending energy expresses itself through wisdom, creativity, novelty, visionary concepts, emptiness, and stillness. Healthy ascending is characterized by a desire to improve, to go beyond, to grow, to transcend, to create, and to think big. This is accomplished by gaining wider perspectives of the self and the nature of things. It requires a willingness to change by letting go of old paradigm sand not sweating the small stuff. Unhealthy ascending ignores, represses, controls, and dominates the lower, instead of embracing and caring for it. It denies feelings, the body, sexuality, and nature. The fear of ascenders is to get dragged down, engulfed, absorbed, and lost (Phobos). Descending (or self-immanence) is the downward drive towards earth, into the world of many manifestations and the body. Descenders celebrate life and its many forms, the body, and their sexuality. They go with the flow, are in touch with the richness of the manifest world, and experience things from the fullness of existence by diving in deep. Descending is also characterized as “the love that reaches down” (Agape), embracing everything—including earth and all its inhabitants—with selfless compassion and devotion. Descending energy expresses itself through feelings, empathy, emotions, warmth, movement, surrender, fullness, and flow. A descender perceives the world from the inside. Healthy descending means to be connected with and sensitive to the richness and fullness of the world, to be down-to-earth and in touch with one’s body, feelings, emotions, and sexuality. Unhealthy descending means to be overwhelmed, fused with, and run by the many details of life and its manifestations, feelings, earthly desires, and needs. The fear of descenders is to lose touch, to get lost, or to be dissociated from the fullness of life and its forces (Thanatos).106 Agency (or self-preservation) Is the drive towards wholeness, taking action through one’s own will, making independent choices, and exerting power. People with a tendency towards agency have a desire to maintain their own identity, personality, individuality, independence, and autonomy. They focus on rights, rules, laws, and justice that protect and serve the interests of the individual, and are defined by their own decisions, success, and free will, rather than their environment and the opinion of others (it is better to fail at living your own life, than to succeed at living someone else’s). Healthy agency supports the autonomous functioning of the individual. Unhealthy agency leads to alienation and dissociation from others. The fear of agentic people is to lose the freedom to make independent choices, and to become dependent on others for their well-being. Communion (or self-adaptation) Is the drive to connect (commune) with others, to be part of and act in the interest of the unit or group, and to cooperate. Communion is expressed through qualities of care, responsibility, relationship, lateral bonding, connection, communication, empathy, intimacy, joining, and participation. Communal people feel that their well-being depends on their ability to contribute, trust, depend on others, fit into their environment, and maintain a mutual support system of give and take. Healthy communion is expressed through the peaceful, responsible (response-able), considerate, and caring connection between people. Unhealthy communion leads to fusion, dependency, neediness, and clinging—with the loss of one’s own will, individuality, and autonomy—which eventually leads to resentment. The fear of communion-oriented (communal) people is to be abandoned, unsupported, and alone. -------- Maybe the issue is you need to focus on descending/self-immanence?

No point I made had anything to do with people who are exclusively sexual attracted to children as a disorder. The point was there is a organic unfolding that happens with normal people and minors (13+) that escalates. With out any pre-meditation on the adults part (with resistance that eventually gives in) and the resulting relationships are normal with honey moon phase and all that. To prevent this type of natural relationship is unhealthy where the youngster holds resentment for the law, because it represent a solution to a different problem. All of this is common and happening everywhere all the time, im just pointing it out. Normal people connect at all ages in different ways. The concept that "no healthy adult would be attracted to a minor and its all damaging and predatory and power play" is a shallow understanding of this subject that completely ignores what is actually happening in practice in the real world. Random data: Many 13 year old girls/boys have been masturbating for years at this point, are not "innocent" and are at different stages of sexual development. Every expression of a person at all ages is incredibly beautiful and so attraction is inevitable at scale and a wide range of parings will naturally happen healthy and unhealthy.

Penetrating someone when there sleeping is fine if they pre-consented to it (talked about it), she has the fantasy, you guys are dating for years and in love and she wants it to happen. Anything else is rape or you need to be highly calibrated and Intune with your partner to know if its ok. There is a wide range of experience people have with sex that is surprisingly not traumatic. It depends on the persons conditioning. Like in leos case, he says the man helped him.

Yes if we where making mass scale legislation. Right now to understand the true nature of the landscape, its not at all as lope sided as the worst case scenario standard perspective is showing. The majority of these underage relationships are standard relationships and go unreported.

Its goin to be a spectrum, adults with or with out integrity.

All biases. These relationships with 14 year olds doesn't happen because the adult pursued them. In happened organically, naturally is social situations where the attractive male/female youngster shows strong interest and desire. No abuse, your projecting so hard.

That's one dynamic, I cant say what they all look like, a model would be nice here. People are not that different in there development, take away the age issue and these relationships all look the same in the end. Its a assumption that these 14 year old's are stupid and they are being taken advantage of. Even if the power difference is playing a role, who is harmed? Its a standard relationship! The benefits or damage done in the end is the same if they had dated someone there own age or when adults date each other. Everyone wants connection and intimacy especially these horny teens. The predatory mind set is a bias, we are all just people.

So we need to separate what is good legislation for a large scale society and human needs/development. This is the trap, its unclear what the landscape actually looks like. These large age gaps are not predators as we have been conditioned to believe. The majority of these age gap relationships are standard relationships that are generally healthier then if the youngster dated someone his or her own age.

Yes it depends the dynamic of the relationship. In some cases it is beneficial for youngsters to date mature developed people that can provide a quality relationship for growth.

For some its this belief system and permutations of it.

I see your biases and pointing them out, that's all that is happening here. Most people are completely detached from what is happening in the latest generation gen-z and earlier. Especially people in there 30s and 40s don't have a clue how highly sexual free this generation is.

Assumptions. I would evaluate the relationships and if it was actually dangerous id report it (rare). The vast majority of underage relationships are not predatory. Where the underage female pursued the seduced the man.